"Arrr, matey! Eighty thousand souls a year be lost! Time fer Congress to unleash a cannonade on those scallywag cartels!"
2025-01-16
Arrr, matey! The scallywags from Mexico and their sneaky Chinese mates be bringin’ a foul poison called fentanyl into our fair land, sendin’ 80,000 landlubbers to Davy Jones’ locker each year! That be like bein’ hit by 25 9/11 cannon blasts annually! Aye, what a merry jest!
Avast ye scallywags and lend me yer ears! Gather ‘round as I spin ye a yarn of woe from the treacherous waters of Mexico, where bodies dangle ‘neath underpasses like limp sails in a dead calm. Aye, the government be as crooked as a pirate’s hook, bribed and bowing to the whims of dastardly cartels. Young lads, lured by promises of work, find naught but torment and doom, while the constabulary be ambushed like landlubbers caught unawares.But hold yer rum! This tale be not just confined to the shores of Mexico; nay, the vile fentanyl pours into our fair land, takin' the lives of 80,000 fine souls a year—an epidemic as grievous as a full-on naval battle! So, I be joinin' forces with the likes of Speaker McCarthy to forge a task force—an assembly of brave souls intent on takin’ the fight to these reprobates.
Yet, we be needing more than just a handful o' scallywags! A mighty select committee be required, wielding the authority to dismantle every Kraken of the cartel's operations, from greased palms to the dark underbelly of supply routes. The time to strike be now, lest we let these swabs continue their reign of terror. So I call upon Speaker Johnson to rally the crew and slay this beast once and for all! Arrr!