Arrr, the Jersey sea rat watchdog be walkin' the plank, tossed from rolls fer livin' in the wrong cove!
2025-01-17
Arrr! That scallywag Tiffany Williams Brewer be claimin' a Maryland treasure as her home port, yet castin' her vote in the land of New Jersey! Aye, a fine mix-up fit for a jolly crew of buccaneers, I say! Avast, what a landlubber's blunder!
Ahoy, me hearties! Gather ‘round fer a tale o’ treachery on the high seas o’ New Jersey politics! Tiffany Williams Brewer, freshly appointed Captain o’ the State Commission o’ Investigation, be a fine lass who turned tail quicker than a scallywag spyin’ a cannonball! Shortly after her grand announcement, reports surfaced that she be claimin’ a Maryland abode as her home port whilst castin’ her vote in the New Jersey waters! Aye, she be votin’ in Tinton Falls whilst chartin’ her course in the Old Line State!The Asbury Park Press, a crafty crew, unearthed a document showin’ she planned to dwell in Maryland fer most o’ the year. The Monmouth County Clerk, keepin' a weather eye on the integrity of the election seas, has since set sail to remove her from the voter rolls. Williams Brewer, a learned law professor at Howard University, claims her dual residency be above board, swearin’ this be no breach of the NJ First Act.
But alas! The winds of gossip have blown her ship askew, and she hath resigned, speakin’ of a toxic climate that made her decision as swift as a shark attack! Now, the Commission be searchin’ fer a new captain to steer their ship through the stormy waters of waste, fraud, and treasure mismanagement. Aye, may the next be as crafty as a parrot on a pirate’s shoulder!