The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr! L.A. water lass be needin’ a crew o’ coppers fer protectin’ her from scallywags and ruffians!

2025-01-18

Arrr, matey! The water wench o' Los Angeles be sportin’ a band o’ guards, for scallywags be threatenin’ her and her crew ‘cause o’ their frolickin’ with them fiery blazes. Avast! Even the water folk be needin’ a bit o’ protection on the high seas o’ drought!

Arrr matey! Gather ‘round fer a tale of watery woe from the fair city o’ Los Angeles, where the lass Janisse Quinones, keeper o’ the waterworks, finds herself in a pickle! The scallywags be makin’ threats against her and her crew, as wildfires rage like a drunken sailor amidst the Southern California shores. With the flames lickin’ at the heels o’ the good citizens, our lass Quinones now be guarded by a squad o’ the LAPD, workin’ round the clock like a ship’s crew in a storm. But alas, it seems the lass be earnin’ a treasure of $750,000 a year, and some salty dogs be grumblin’ ’bout her management of the water supply in these fiery times! “Aye, threats have been made against our brave crew,” the Department o’ Water said as they tightened security like a captain securing the ship in a tempest. “We take them threats mighty serious!” They be claiming their crew be vital to keepin’ the city afloat, and there be no place for threats against them, lest ye face the wrath of a pirate’s fury! So, as the wildfires roar and challenges abound, Quinones aims to steer her ship with a compass o’ equity, bringin’ social justice to the seven seas of L.A.! Yarr, what a time to be afloat in these treacherous waters!

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