"Arrr, Bret Baier be sayin', Inauguration Day be shinin' a light on America's never-endin' treasure map of hopes!"
2025-01-19
Arrr, matey! Inauguration day be a grand spectacle of togetherness, even after a raucous squabble for the crown! ‘Tis but a jolly dance of the law, mandated by the good ol’ Constitution, where we pretend all be right in the realm, at least for a day!
On this brisk day, when the chill be biting at the bones, the ceremony be movin' indoors to the Capitol Rotunda, forsooth! A mere two score thousand be lucky to witness the spectacle live, while the rest of ye scallywags watch from the warmth of yer shanties. But hark! The festivities still bring a cheerful truce, as all ye landlubbers come together to celebrate democracy, even if some be harboring hard feelings from the last election.
In a tradition as old as the sea, the outgoing and incoming captains of this ship of state shall share a cuppa tea, though it might feel as stiff as aboard a ship in a storm! After that, they’ll ride to the Capitol together—if they’re not too busy throwin’ shade. So, hoist yer flags and raise yer tankards, for the inaugural parade promises joy, with bands and honored heroes marching forth like a fleet of proud pirate ships!
And when the dust settles, the outgoing captain will slip a note to the new one, a gesture as friendly as a pirate’s parley. Aye, thus sails the great cycle of American life! So, be ye ready, mates, for a day of pomp and circumstance, filled with laughter and perhaps a bit of mischief on the high seas of politics!