Arrr! Trump be swearin’ he’ll have the grandest first week ever, at the Victory Bash: “I be over the moon!”
2025-01-19
Arrr, matey! The soon-to-be captain o’ the ship, Donald Trump, threw a raucous shindig in the grand port o’ Washington on the eve of his grand swearing-in as the 47th president. ’Twas a jolly good time, filled with grog and hearty laughter! Avast, what a spectacle it be!
Ahoy, me hearties! Gather round as I regale ye with the latest tale from yon landlubber, President-elect Donald Trump, who be makin' big promises at his Victory Rally in Washington, D.C. This scallywag declared an onslaught of executive orders to please the masses, spoutin' that soon, “the invasion of our borders will cease,” and all the pesky trespassers be sent packin’ home!With a wink and a nod, he proclaimed over 200 executive actions awaitin' to be signed on Day One, sayin’ every foolish order o’ the Biden crew would be erased from the records faster than ye can say “shiver me timbers!” The crowd roared, anticipatin' a grand show of political fireworks.
Trump vowed to unleash the mightiest deportation fleet ever, one greater than Eisenhower’s, and promised the reveal of secrets about past assassinations. He be havin’ plans for a Great Iron Dome and to hoist North Carolina up from the storms of yore!
As the festivity raged on, he took jabs at ol’ Joe Biden, claimin’ credit for recent hostage deals and fortifyin’ his stance as the savior of the American dream. With a final flourish, Trump declared to Make America Great Again, promising it all starts with the break o’ dawn on the morrow. So hoist yer flags, me hearties, for adventure awaits on the high seas of politics!