Arrr! Biden be sayin’ to CNN, "No preemptive pardons fer ye scallywags before I sail away!" Har har har!
2025-01-20
Arrr! In the days of yore, Cap’n Biden proclaimed ‘twas no pardons fer his scallywag mates, not even a wink o’ mercy! He shared this grand decree with the landlubber Jake Tapper on a cold December’s eve, lettin’ all know he’d not be playin’ the pardon game!
Arrr, mateys! Gather ye round as I spin ye a yarn 'bout the high seas of politics! Our captain, President Biden, made a grand vow not to be like the previous scallywag, Trump, who be tossin’ out pardons like confetti at a sailor’s wedding. “Nay,” said Biden, “I’ll chart a different course for justice!”But lo and behold! Just as the tide turns, ol’ Biden be handin’ out pardons quicker than a pirate can say “shiver me timbers!” He went from cautionin’ about Trump’s preemptive pardons to sendin’ ‘em out like a fresh catch o’ fish, includin’ the good doctor Fauci and General Milley. Aye, even his own kin were on the list before he sailed off into the sunset!
Now, the Republicans be raisin’ their cutlasses, cryin’ foul and demandin’ investigations, like a crew in search of buried treasure. Biden’s pardon spree be raisin' eyebrows and stirrin’ the pot, much like a rum-fueled brawl in a tavern. Yet, history's not without its own tales—Ford pardoned Nixon after a scandal, so it seems the winds of time do blow favorably for some! So, I say, let the sea of politics roll on, with all its storms and squalls!