“Trump be lettin' off most scallywags from the Jan. 6 ruckus! A right jolly pardoning spree, matey!”
2025-01-21
Arrr, on the very first morn of his return to the helm, Captain Trump be settin’ free a whole crew o’ 1,600 scallywags tangled in the tempest o’ the Capitol raid! Maggie Haberman, the scribe for the New York Times, be spillin’ the beans on this jolly jest!
Ahoy, mateys! Gather 'round as I spin ye a yarn 'bout a day most curious on the high seas of politics! On the very morn of his grand return to the captain's chair, President Trump, that scallywag of a leader, bequeathed pardons to a mighty crew of almost 1,600 souls caught in the tempest of the Capitol raid on January 6, 2021. Aye, ye heard me right! It be a veritable fleet of mischief-makers he set free!Now, what be the reason for such a bold act, ye ask? Well, the wise scribe Maggie Haberman, a swashbuckler of the press from The New York Times, spills the beans on this swindle. It seems ol’ Trump be lookin' to cast a wide net of goodwill to his loyal crew, hopin’ to gather more barnacles to his ship. In the world of politics, a pardon be like a treasure map, leadin’ the way to loyalty and favor among the loyal scoundrels.
So, raise a tankard and toast to the captain’s shenanigans! With a flick of his quill, he’s stirred the waters of democracy, lettin’ loose the rascals who dared to storm the castle! May the winds be ever in his favor, or at least until the next squall arrives!