Arrr! CNN's scholar be sayin' Trump be a tyrant right from the start, givin’ orders like a captain gone mad!
2025-01-21
Arrr! CNN's history swab, Timothy Naftali, be takin' aim at Captain Trump's orders and his chummy dealings with those scallywags o' the far-right. At his grand launchin’, he be callin’ it a right ruckus! Blimey, what a hullabaloo on the high seas of politics!
Ahoy mateys! Gather ‘round as I spin ye a yarn ‘bout a scallywag known as President Trump, who, upon the dawning of his reign, declared himself a “dictator” quicker than a parrot can squawk! Timothy Naftali, the esteemed historian of the CNN seas, be claimin’ that Trump put his stamp on tyranny right on Inauguration Day by signing over 200 executive orders—blimey, that be a record even for a galleon captain!With a cheeky glint in his eye, Trump quipped he’d not be a dictator, “Except for day one.” Aye, and on that day, he set sail to close the borders tighter than a clam’s shell and drill for treasure like a pirate on a treasure hunt!
But lo! The company he kept at his grand inauguration raised the eyebrows of Naftali, who saw far-right leaders in attendance, as if they were plotting their next high-seas adventure. He suggested that Trump’s talk of snatchin’ up Greenland and reclaiming the Panama Canal be a signal that America was ready to play rough like the scurvy pirates of yore.
As the good historian put it, “If we’re followin’ this rhetoric, we’ve become an imperialist nation!” So there ye have it, mateys! A presidency startin’ off with the swagger of a pirate captain, makin’ waves and takin’ names on the high seas of politics!