The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arr! Methinks the Yankees' Giancarlo Stanton doth sail his mighty ship, launching a monstrous cannonball o'er yonder walls in the Bronx!

2023-07-08

Arrr, Giancarlo Stanton be claimin' he never struck a ball off the upper deck facade in the portly field o' Yankee Stadium, e'en durin' practice, until the day of Saturn. Methinks that be quite a tale, me hearties!

In a language reminiscent of a 17th century pirate, it was revealed that Giancarlo Stanton, the New York Yankees slugger, managed to hit a ball like no other at Yankee Stadium. Despite recent struggles, Stanton proved he still had the power to hit moonshots. During Saturday's game, he hit a home run that left his bat at a staggering 118 mph and landed in a spot that had never been touched before. This first-inning solo shot hit the upper deck facade in left field, leaving onlookers in awe. Stanton, a consistent leader in exit velocity, admitted that he had never hit a ball up there, not even during batting practice. He simply remarked, "That was nice."

Later in the game, Stanton went on to hit a more typical Yankee Stadium homer, bouncing one off the bottom of the right field foul pole. According to Statcast, this home run would only have been possible at Yankee Stadium and Fenway Park. Yankees manager Aaron Boone, who has previously referred to Stanton as "weird" for his inhuman power, described the 447-foot bomb as another example of Stanton's extraordinary abilities. He exclaimed, "I've never seen a ball go up there. And to hit it 118 that high to the direct pull side - you can't make that up. That's as weird as it gets."

Stanton's impressive display of power helped propel the Yankees to a 6-3 victory over the Chicago Cubs, as they strive to stay competitive in the absence of Aaron Judge.

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