The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr! The White House finally speaks about Robert F. Kennedy Jr., callin' him an incredibly treacherous scallywag!

2023-07-17

"Arrr, me hearties! White House wench Karine Jean-Pierre be cursin' the words o' scallywag Robert F. Kennedy Jr., a Democratic rival to President Joe Biden's reelection quest. In a newly discovered scroll, Kennedy be claimin' that the dreaded COVID-19 be a creation to shield the Chinese and Jewish brethren. The White House, 'pon discoverin' this tale, be stayin' silent, usin' the Hatch Act like a secret treasure map, preventin' their crew from jawin' 'bout elections and rivals. On this fine Monday..."

Avast ye mateys! Listen up as I spin ye a tale from the high seas of politics! It be a tale of a scallywag named Robert F. Kennedy Jr., who be challengin' President Joe Biden in the upcoming election. Arrr, this be a tale that be makin' ye belly ache from laughin'!

So, this Kennedy fella be claimin' in a video that the dreaded COVID-19 be somethin' cooked up in a lab, all to protect the Chinese and Jewish folk. Can ye believe it? A virus designed to protect certain groups! Blimey, I've heard some outlandish tales in me days, but this one takes the biscuit!

Now, the good folk at the White House, led by the press secretary Karine Jean-Pierre, weren't too pleased with Kennedy's claims. They came out swingin', denouncin' his words with all the might of a cannonball. They be sayin' that Kennedy be talkin' nonsense and that his claims be as credible as a mermaid's treasure map!

But, ye see, the White House be playin' it smart. They be usin' a little somethin' called the Hatch Act to dodge the bullet. Arrr, this be a rule that prevents those workin' for the government from commentin' on elections and candidates. So they be sayin' nary a word about Kennedy, hopin' he'll walk the plank on his own!

But, I tell ye, the drama ain't over yet! On Monday, the press be demandin' answers from the White House about Kennedy's claims. They be wantin' to know why the silence, why the lack of response. But the White House be stickin' to their guns, refusin' to walk the plank into this political battle.

So, me hearties, that be the tale of Kennedy and his wild claims. Will he sink or swim in the treacherous waters of the election? Only time will tell. But for now, let's raise a glass to the humor that be found in the strange world of politics!

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