The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr! Methinks Trump be losin' his chance to shift his criminal case to th' federal court in New York!

2023-07-19

Avast ye! The former Cap'n Donald Trump be sufferin' a setback on Wednesday as he tried t' move his New York state court case, concernin' a payment t' a fine lass o' the seas named Stormy Daniels, t' federal court. Judge Alvin Hellerstein be havin' none of it, keepin' Cap'n Trump on course fer a trial on March 25, 2024, in the Supreme Court o' Manhattan. The Cap'n be claimin' that the case belonged in federal waters, but Hellerstein be swatting away his arguments like a mosquito on the high seas! Arrr!

Arr, me hearties! In a twist fit for a tale of buried treasure, former President Donald Trump found himself walkin' the plank in the courts once again. This time, he be tryin' to transfer his case from a New York state court to a federal court. But alas, Judge Alvin Hellerstein be havin' none of it!

With a hearty chuckle, Hellerstein denied Trump's bid for a change of scenery, keepin' him right on track for a trial on March 25, 2024, in the grand Manhattan Supreme Court. Aye, ye heard that right, me mateys!

Now, ye may be wonderin' what this case be all about. Well, it be related to a hush money payment to a porn star by the name of Stormy Daniels. Aye, scandalous it be! Trump be indicted back in March on a whopping 34 felony counts of falsifyin' business records. And now, it seems he be feelin' the weight of the anchor as the trial is drawin' near.

But Trump, bless his pirate soul, be tryin' to argue that the case should be heard in federal court. However, Hellerstein be havin' none of it, brushin' aside those arguments like a blow to the poop deck. The judge be makin' it clear that the case belongs right where it be, in the New York state court.

So there ye have it, me hearties! The tale of Trump's attempt to sail away from the New York state court has come to a swift end. The trial be loomin' on the horizon, and there be no escape for this former president. Only time will tell if justice be served, but in the meantime, let us raise a mug of grog and enjoy the spectacle of this 17th century pirate's courtroom drama!

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