The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Ye scurvy dog Dalvin Cook, a free agent of the NFL, be offerin' his former lass a mighty sum o' one million doubloons to free 'imself from the grip of abuse allegations, says the tale.

2023-07-21

Arr, word be spreadin' 'bout them fancy papers o' the court, claimin' that this here freebootin' scallywag, Dalvin Cook, be dishin' out a whole million doubloons to his ex-lady to clear his name o' any wrongdoin' in them abuse accusations. Aye, seems like he be tryin' to bury his sins deep in Davy Jones' locker!

In a hilarious 17th-century pirate language, it seems that there be an extra piece of gold as to why Dalvin Cook, a former Minnesota Vikings running back, still be a free agent. Arrr! According to reports, Cook offered a grand sum of $1 million to his ex-lass to clear his name of any wrongdoing after she claimed he assaulted her in 2021. Gracelyn Trimble, a sergeant in the U.S. Army, accused Cook of assault, battery, and false imprisonment after an incident at his home in Grove Heights, according to a lawsuit filed in the Dakota County District Court. Cook reportedly first offered $800,000, but he eventually raised the stakes to seven figures. Trimble's lawyer, Daniel Cragg, claimed that Cook's initial offer be evidence of a crime and that it "does not pass the smell test." Cook himself admitted in a deposition that he knew his attorneys had offered Trimble the $800,000 in exchange for her sworn statement absolving him of any wrongdoing. However, Trimble declined both offers, which would have required her to write a letter to the NFL clearing Cook of any guilt. According to Trimble's lawsuit, they had an on-and-off relationship since 2018, but she flew to Minnesota in November 2020 to officially end it and collect her belongings. The lawsuit alleges that Cook became aggressive when she asked for his help and proceeded to assault her, causing injuries to her face. Trimble also claimed that Cook assaulted her again while she was showering. Cook's lawyer responded to the lawsuit by stating that Trimble had broken into Cook's home and assaulted him and two other guests. The Vikings released Cook due to salary cap constraints, and he remains unsigned despite his impressive performance over the past few years. Avast ye, mateys!

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