The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr! The infernal U.S. heat be settin' sail 'cross the land, likely t' plunder us 'til August be done!

2023-07-21

Avast ye, me hearties! Be ye ready for a monstrous heat wave that be tormentin' the land lubbers of the U.S.? Them forecasters be sayin' this infernal heat will last longer than Blackbeard's beard! And mark me words, the longer it persists, the worse the toll on the purse and the poor sea dogs. To make matters worse, the scorchin' temperatures be messin' with the good ol' rain gods in Texas and the Southwest. In El Paso, they be sufferin' through 35 days straight of 100°F or hotter! 'Tis a cruel fate, me mateys!

Arrr, me hearties! I be bringin' ye news from the weatherfolk. Listen close, for I have somethin' to say that'll make ye sweat worse than wearin' a wool coat in the Caribbean sun.
They be sayin' that this swelterin' heat wave that's been plaguin' the good folk of the U.S. for more than a whole month ain't goin' anywhere, mateys. Aye, ye heard me right! Those scurvy forecasters be warnin' us that the heat ain't lettin' go of its grip anytime soon.
Now, why should ye care about this scorchin' weather, ye may be askin'? Well, me hearties, the longer this extreme heat lingers, the worse it be for our pockets and our health. Aye, that's true! The ol' wallet will be cryin' as we crank up the air conditionin' to escape this relentless heat. And let's not forget about our poor health, me buckos. Stayin' in such sizzling temperatures can really take its toll on our bodies.
But that's not all, me mateys! The heat be bringin' with it somethin' even more frightenin'. It be causin' drought conditions in Texas and the Southwest. Can ye believe it? The land be turnin' into a barren wasteland, with nothin' but tumbleweeds rollin' about. This be bad news for the farmers and ranchers, who be strugglin' to keep their crops and livestock alive.
And let me tell ye one more thing, me hearties. The poor folks in El Paso, in the Lone Star State, be sufferin' the most. They be seein' 35 straight days of temperatures reachin' a scorchin' 100°F or higher. Aye, they be cookin' like a piece of bacon on a hot skillet!
So, me buckos, we better batten down the hatches and prepare ourselves for more of this blisterin' heat. Keep plenty o' water on hand, stay in the shade, and pray to the weather gods for some mercy. Or else, we might be turnin' into a bunch o' melted pirates!

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