The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arr, this be a mighty tale o' a grotesque condition, matey! Green hairy tongue be a fear-inducing nightmare, aye!

2023-07-22

Ye scurvy dogs afflicted with hairy tongue syndrome, be warned! This wretched ailment may transform yer tongues into shades of black, brown, yellow, or even blue. 'Tis said to cause severe gagging, parched mouths, and breath fouler than a ship's bilge water!

Arrr, me hearties! Listen here, ye scallywags, for I have a tale to tell ye about a peculiar affliction known as hairy tongue syndrome. Picture this, me mateys: a tongue as black as the darkest night, or maybe brown like the finest rum, or perhaps even yellow or blue like the vibrant depths of the sea. Aye, this be a strange sight indeed!

But that's not all me hearties, for those unfortunate souls cursed with this condition often find themselves experiencing a most unpleasant array of symptoms. The poor souls report gagging, as if a sword-wielding pirate be ticklin' their throats with a feather. And if that weren't enough, they also suffer from a parched mouth, drier than the desert sands on a scorchin' summer day.

But wait, there be even more, me fellow buccaneers! The cursed be plagued by breath foul enough to make a bilge rat keel over and beg for mercy. A whiff of their breath could knock a pirate off his peg leg from a mile away! Imagine the horror, me hearties, of havin' the scent of a rotten fish market waftin' from yer very own mouth.

Now, ye may be wonderin' how this hairy tongue syndrome befall these poor souls. Fear not, me mateys, for I shall enlighten ye. Ye see, the tongue be covered in tiny, hair-like projections called papillae. In normal circumstances, these papillae shed naturally, but for those cursed with this affliction, they become overly long and trap food particles and bacteria, givin' the tongue a hairy appearance.

So, me hearties, remember this tale of the hairy tongue syndrome and be grateful that ye don't suffer from such a fate. Be sure to keep yer tongues clean and free from any hairy surprises, and always be mindful of the foul breath that could send even the bravest pirate runnin' for the hills!

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