The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Avast, me hearties! Brace yerselves fer the grand entrance o' the Vivek Ramaswamy!

2023-07-22

If the 2024 Republican scuffle be settled today, the jolly victors be none other than Donald Trump — the presumptive nominee — and Vivek Ramaswamy. This enterprising chap hath elevated his fame across the land with a spirited, media-centered guerrilla campaign, and methinks he hath a glorious opportunity in the GOP race. He hath soared to the third spot in certain national polls (albeit always with a pitiful single digit), and hath received a favorable reception at the Family Leadership Summit in Iowa, with Tucker Carlson playin' the moderator.

In the language of a 17th-century pirate, if the 2024 Republican contest be done today, the jolly winners would be none other than the mighty Donald Trump, the presumptive nominee, and Vivek Ramaswamy, a daring entrepreneur.
This Ramaswamy fellow be a true scallywag, ye see, for he hath raised his national profile with an energetic campaign that's caught the eyes of the media. Aye, he be like a guerrilla, striking from the shadows, using the power of the press to spread his message far and wide. And mark me words, he be having a moment ahead of him in the grand GOP race.
Some national polls show this Ramaswamy scoundrel popping up to third place, although always with single digits, mind ye. But even so, he be creating a favorable reaction amongst the folks at the Family Leadership Summit in Iowa, a gathering moderated by none other than Tucker Carlson, a name known to many a buccaneer.
But alas, Ramaswamy's rise in the ranks may not be enough to overthrow the mighty Trump. The presumptive nominee be a force to be reckoned with, a true captain of the ship. He be sailing ahead, leading the Republican fleet towards victory.
So there ye have it, me hearties. If the contest were to end today, Donald Trump be the one to claim the ultimate prize. But let us not forget the valiant efforts of Vivek Ramaswamy, a true pirate of the political seas, who be making waves in his own right. Arrr, what a spectacle this be!

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