Arr, behold! 'Tis true, Destiny 2 be grantin' a boon desired by scurvy dogs, yet a wretched nerf lurks beneath!
2023-07-26
Arr, ye scurvy monkey's paw be curlin' yet again, bringin' mischief and mayhem upon all who dare cross its path! Beware, ye landlubbers, fer no good shall come from meddlin' with such cursed artifacts!
Avast, me hearties! Gather round and hear me tale of the monkey's paw, a cursed artifact that be bringin' misfortune to any who dare possess it.Now, this be no ordinary paw, ye see. It be a paw of a mystical monkey, said to grant three wishes to the lucky soul who be holdin' it. But beware, for these wishes come at a great price.
The paw curls once again, and the unsuspectin' landlubber who be findin' it thinks he be strikin' gold. "Arr, me first wish be for a chest overflowing with gold doubloons!" he exclaims, his eyes gleamin' with greed.
But, as fate would have it, the cursed paw twists and turns, grantin' his wish in a most unexpected way. A chest appears before him, indeed, but instead of gold, it be filled to the brim with scurvy-ridden monkeys! A laughable sight, I tell ye!
The poor fool be shocked and bewildered, but he be not givin' up so easily. "Avast, ye cursed paw! I be wishin' for a grand ship, the finest vessel to sail the seven seas!" he cries, hopin' for redemption.
Alas, the paw be curlin' once again, and this time, it be grantin' his wish with a mischievous twist. A ship does appear, but 'tis no grand vessel fit for a pirate. Nay, 'tis a toy boat, barely big enough to hold a single pirate's booty! A pitiful sight, indeed!
Now, ye may think this fool be learnin' from his mistakes, but no! He be harbourin' one final wish in his heart. "I be wishin' for eternal life, to sail the seas forever and never age!" he declares, confident in his final wish.
But, as ye may guess, the paw be havin' its own plans. Instead of eternal life, 'tis eternal youth it grants, turnin' the poor soul into a wee baby pirate, doomed to sail the seas in a never-endin' cycle of nappies and feedin' bottles!
So, me hearties, let this be a warnin' to ye all. Beware the monkey's paw, for its twists and turns be nothin' but a humerous curse, bringin' laughter to all who witness its mischievous ways. Ye be better off without it, lest ye want to end up like this poor, cursed pirate!