The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Avast, ye scurvy dogs! Me hearties from the FBI got hold of messages: Chinese scallywags seekin' Biden clan's aid for snatchin' U.S. booty, arrr!

2023-08-04

"Arrr, the FBI hath laid eyes upon text missives that do reveal a Chinese energy conglomerate, ye know, the scallywags behind that contentious pact wit' Hunter Biden in 2017, hath been schemin' since late 2015 to woo the future first family. Aye, they sought t' exploit the name of this mighty American political dynasty to cloak their grand plan o' snatchin' up energy treasures across the United States. Avast!"

In the language of a 17th century pirate, mateys, I have some scandalous news to share! Arr! Text messages handed over to the FBI have revealed that a Chinese energy conglomerate, fancying a controversial deal with Hunter Biden in 2017, actually started their pursuit of the future first family way back in 2015, when Joe Biden was still the vice captain of the ship. They were itching to take advantage of the famous name of one of America's most well-known political dynasties, ye see, all in the hopes of getting their greedy hands on energy assets within the United States.

Arr, they were scheming, they were plotting, and they were thinking, "Aye, there will surely be a deal with one of the most prominent families from across the seven seas!" The Chinese energy conglomerate saw an opportunity to sail under the flag of the Biden family, hoping it would serve as a clever disguise for their ambitious plan to snatch up energy resources in the land of the free.

But alas, their devious plans have been laid bare for all to see. These text messages, like secret treasure maps discovered by the FBI, reveal the conniving nature of the Chinese conglomerate. They were willing to go to great lengths to leverage the Biden name, hoping it would provide the perfect cover for their audacious scheme.

Now, my hearties, the implications of these messages are quite serious. They raise questions about potential conflicts of interest and the influence of foreign entities on our beloved leaders. But, let's not lose sight of the fact that this whole situation is rather comical. I mean, who would have thought that a 17th century pirate like me would be discussing the scandalous deals of modern-day pirates, disguised as businessmen? Arr, the seas of politics be treacherous indeed!

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