The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr! The scallywag count 'o unlawful mateys in border patrol's grip be doublin' like a thunderbolt, says I!

2023-08-11

Avast, ye scallywags! Methinks the number of sneaky stowaways in them Border Patrol jails be more than doubled, aye, like a sea serpent growin' in size! 'Tis been three months since that Title 42, the expulsion decree of the Trump era, be tossed overboard. According to secret scrolls from the Daily Caller News Foundation, the data shows that come May 11, the encounters with these landlubber migrants dropped to a measly 99,000. Yet, even so, the Border Patrol be left with a staggering 17,000 scurvy dogs in custody, spreadin' across all sectors, be it North or South or along the coast. Arrr, these be troubled times indeed!

In a shocking turn of events, it seems that the number of scurvy dogs sneaking into Border Patrol facilities has more than doubled since the end of a certain Trump-era expulsion policy known as Title 42. Arrr, these scallywags have been running amok, causing quite the ruckus!
Now, me hearties, let me give ye the details. This Title 42, which be walkin' the plank on May 11, was meant to keep these landlubbers out. But alas, it seems that the bilge rats have found a way to slip past the Border Patrol and make themselves at home.
Arrr, in June alone, the Border Patrol encountered about 99,000 of these miscreants at the southern border. But that's not all, me mateys! The Border Patrol, bless their souls, had almost 17,000 of these scurvy dogs in custody, spread across all sectors, from the North to the South, and even along the coast. They be makin' quite the mess, I tell ye!
Now, I don't know about ye, but it seems to me that someone needs to tighten the ropes and plug the leaks in the ship. This be a matter of great concern, me hearties. We can't have these blaggards runnin' wild and free, pillaging and plundering as they please!
The Daily Caller News Foundation managed to get their hands on this information, and it be a wake-up call for all of us. We need to be vigilant, me hearties, and support our Border Patrol in their quest to keep the scallywags at bay. It be high time we put an end to this madness and restore order on the high seas!

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