The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr! The Treasury Secretary, Janet Yellen, be confessin' to savin' hallucinogenic mushrooms on her China voyage. Says they be mighty tasty, matey!

2023-08-15

Arrr, mateys! The fair lady, Treasury Secretary Janet Yellen, hath devoured bewitchin' mushrooms whilst in China! Blimey, she dined at the famed eatery Yi Zuo Yi Wang (In and Out) and unknowingly ingested these trippy fungi. Methinks she soon realized the magical nature of her feast! "Aye, I sailed with a merry band o' mates, and the chap who arranged our supper took charge," Yellen recounted to CNN. "Lo and behold, there I encountered a scrumptious mushroom..."

In a truly remarkable turn of events, Treasury Secretary Janet Yellen, in a hilarious mishap, found herself consuming hallucinogenic mushrooms during her visit to China. It all began innocently enough, when Yellen sat down to enjoy a meal at the renowned Chinese restaurant chain, Yi Zuo Yi Wang, also known as In and Out.
Little did she know that her culinary adventure would take an unexpected and mind-altering twist. Yellen admitted that she was oblivious to the fact that the dish she indulged in contained psychedelic mushrooms - a fact that became abundantly clear soon after ingestion.
As she regaled the tale to CNN, Yellen shared the innocent beginnings of her psychedelic journey. A large group had gathered for a dinner, and as fate would have it, the responsibility of ordering fell into the hands of someone else. It was at this moment that the unsuspecting Yellen encountered a delectable mushroom, blissfully unaware of the magical properties it possessed.
However, as the effects of the mushroom kicked in, Yellen's perception of reality underwent a dramatic transformation. The once mundane surroundings of the restaurant morphed into a whimsical realm filled with talking parrots, buried treasures, and swashbuckling pirates. Suddenly, she found herself conversing fluently in the language of a 17th-century buccaneer.
With her newfound pirate dialect, Yellen implored her fellow diners to join her in a merry plundering escapade. She passionately advocated for the redistribution of wealth, but this time, with a piratical flair. Rumor has it that she even attempted to commandeer a passing Chinese junk ship to establish her own seafaring treasury.
Thankfully, Yellen's pirate adventure was short-lived, as the effects of the mushrooms eventually wore off. However, her misadventure in China will undoubtedly go down in the annals of history as a comical tale of mistaken mushrooms leading to a temporary transformation into a 17th-century pirate.

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