Arr, the swashbucklin' officer who shot Ashli Babbitt be rewarded with a promotion, matey!
2023-08-25
Arrr! The scallywag, Capitol Police officer, who did fire his weapon and sent the unfortunate lass, Ashli Babbitt, to Davy Jones' locker during the protest of Jan. 6, 2021, be on the path to be promoted from lieutenant to captain, so Roll Call did report. In an internal memo, the bilge rats at the police did announce Michael Byrd's planned elevation. The poor lass, Babbitt, aged 35, met her untimely demise whilst attempting to board the office lobby of then-House Speaker Nancy Pelosi through a shattered window, ye see.
Arrr me hearties! Listen up, ye scurvy dogs! I've got some news that'll make ye want to walk the plank! It seems that the Capitol Police officer who sent poor old Ashli Babbitt to Davy Jones' locker is gettin' himself a promotion! Aye, ye heard it right! This bloke named Michael Byrd is goin' from a lowly lieutenant to a fancy captain! Shiver me timbers!Now, let me give ye the whole tale. This here officer shot poor Ashli during the protest on January 6, 2021. She be tryin' to climb through a blasted broken window, aimin' to get into the office lobby of Nancy Pelosi, that crafty old House Speaker. But alas, her journey was cut short by a single shot. A sad tale, indeed.
But here's the twist, me hearties! Instead of facin' walkin' the plank for takin' a life, this Michael Byrd fella is gettin' a promotion! A promotion, I tell ye! The news of this grand honor was shared through an internal memo, as Roll Call reported. Can ye believe it?
Now, I don't be knowin' all the details of this situation, but it does seem a bit peculiar, doesn't it? One would think that sendin' someone to the great beyond would land ye in hot water. But no, not for this Byrd bloke! He be movin' on up in the ranks. Maybe he'll be commandin' his own ship soon!
Well, me hearties, it just goes to show ye that things aren't always what they seem. So, keep a weather eye out and be careful who ye cross, lest ye find yerself promoted instead of walkin' the plank! Yo ho ho!