The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Avast ye! Me hearties, the Biden crew be settin' their sights on plunderin' ceiling fans. Aye, me eyes be rollin'!

2023-08-25

Avast ye mateys! The scurvy dogs of the Biden administration have set their sights on none other than ceiling fans, in their quest for a greener world. But methinks the Republicans and manufacturers aren't too pleased! The Department of Energy be proposin' a rule, demandin' that ceiling fans be more energy efficient. They claim it'll save ye landlubbers some doubloons on yer energy costs. According to the Energy Department's reckonin', these new rules will save ye a measly $39 over the lifespan of one o' these fancy energy-efficient fans. But 'tis the manufacturers who bear the brunt of the cost...

In a surprising twist of events, it seems that ceiling fans have become the latest enemy in the Biden administration's quest for a greener future. Yes, you heard that right, me hearties! Those innocent spinning contraptions that provide us with a much-needed breeze on a hot summer's day are now under attack!

The Department of Energy, in all its wisdom, is proposing a rule that would force these ceiling fans to become more energy efficient. They claim that this move would save us landlubbers a few doubloons on our energy costs, but I have my doubts, me mateys.

According to their fancy calculations, these new rules would supposedly save each household a measly $39 over the lifespan of the fan. Now, I don't know about you, but that seems like small potatoes to me. I'd rather spend that money on a barrel of rum or a shiny new cutlass!

But wait, there's more to this tale! The poor manufacturers are also feeling the heat. They claim that complying with these new regulations would cost them a pretty penny. And we all know who's going to end up paying for that, don't we? That's right, ye scurvy dogs, it'll be us, the customers!

So, I say we rise up, me hearties, and defend our beloved ceiling fans! Let's not let these landlubber bureaucrats take away our precious breeze and force us to walk the plank of energy efficiency. We've been through enough already, with their fancy light bulbs and low-flush toilets.

If you ask me, it's high time we put an end to this nonsense. Let's join forces with our Republican brethren and fight for the right to keep our trusty ceiling fans just the way they are, inefficient and glorious!

Read the Original Article