The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arr, ye scurvy dogs! The Johannesburg crib be a fiery trap, ready to send ye to Davy Jones' locker!

2023-09-01

Aye, when me eyes beheld the grandeur of yonder five-story edifice, me heart be filled with mirth! Yet, alas, the sight revealed a catalogue of perilous defects, makin' it naught but a tinderbox waitin' fer a fiery doom!

Arr, ye scurvy dogs! The Johannesburg crib be a fiery trap, ready to send ye to Davy Jones' locker!

Arrr, me hearties! Gather 'round and listen to the tale of a grand five-story building that be plagued with more safety issues than ye can shake a cutlass at. This fine establishment, ye see, had more holes in its defenses than a sinking ship, makin' it easy prey for a deadly fire.

As I set foot upon the threshold of this cursed structure, me nose was instantly assaulted by the pungent stench of neglect. The very air seemed to whisper warnings of the impending doom. The first floor, me lads, was filled to the brim with flammable materials stacked higher than the crow's nest. It be a disaster waitin' to happen.

And the windows! Oh, the windows were as cracked as an old pirate's tooth, barely holdin' together against the elements. They were no match for a spark from a lantern, ready to send the whole place up in flames faster than a cannonball tears through a defenseless ship.

As I ascended the rickety stairs, I could feel the very foundation tremble beneath me boots. The wooden beams creaked and groaned like a ship caught in a violent storm. Methinks it wouldn't take much for the entire buildin' to come crashin' down, buryin' all within it.

The upper floors, my friends, were a maze of narrow corridors and dead-end rooms. There be but one measly staircase leadin' to safety, leavin' no chance for a swift escape should disaster strike. 'Twas a trap, designed to ensnare even the most nimble of sailors.

So, me hearties, beware of this treacherous five-story building, lest ye find yerselves caught in its clutches when the flames come lickin'. With its flammable stockpiles, shattered windows, weakened foundation, and confusin' layout, it be nothin' short of a death trap. Aye, a visit and imagery of this cursed place be a stern reminder to always keep an eye out for safety, or else ye may find yerself walkin' the plank straight into Davy Jones' locker!

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