The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrrr, the scurvy knaves o' the White House be claimin' that FEMA be needin' more doubloons, after their recent follies!

2023-09-01

Avast ye scurvy dogs! The White House be seekin' Congress for a jolly sum of $4 billion to aid in coverin' the costs of recent calamities in Hawaii, Florida, and other parts of our fair land. A mere month ago, they declared the need for a humble $12 billion but, blow me down, that be not enough! Now they be beggin' for a grand total of $16 billion, blamin' the fires on Maui, the floods in Vermont, and the fires in Louisiana. Methinks they be needin' more doubloons than they can count!

In a startling turn of events, the White House is summoning Congress to cough up a hefty sum of $4 billion to face the wrath of Mother Nature. Arrr, me hearties! It seems that recent bouts of trouble in Hawaii, Florida, and our beloved land have left them in a dire situation. Aye, last month the White House informed Congress that the coffers of the Federal Emergency Management Agency's disaster relief fund were in need of a healthy $12 billion. But alas, the winds of misfortune continued to blow, and now they be demanding a grand total of $16 billion, as fires ravage Maui, Louisiana be ablaze, and the floods be drowning Vermont.

Ye see, even the grandest of leaders can't escape the wrath of nature. Surely, the White House has realized that swashbuckling their way through this stormy sea will require more doubloons. It's like searching for hidden treasure, except instead of gold, it be in the form of cold, hard cash. Can ye imagine the look on Congress's faces when they be asked for more booty? Aye, the jaws be droppin' and the pockets be emptier than Blackbeard's beard!

But ye know what they say, me hearties: desperate times call for desperate measures. It be a time of crisis, and the White House be desperate indeed. They be fearing the wrath of the storm and know that their ship be sinking fast. So, they be turning to Congress, the buccaneers of the land, in hopes of finding a lifeline. Arrr, it be quite the sight to behold, seeing those in power beg for more gold!

So, let us see what fate awaits this request. Will Congress come to the rescue and provide the necessary funds to face the devastation? Or will they be walking the plank, denying the White House their desired treasure? Only time will tell, me hearties, but one thing be certain: the storm is brewing, and the White House be in need of some serious pirate plunder!

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