Arrr! The judge be sayin' DeSantis' map be unconstitutional! He better be redrawin' it, lest he walk the plank!
2023-09-03
Arr! This Florida redistrictin' plan, me hearties, be a clear violation of our beloved state constitution! Republican Gov. Ron DeSantis be walkin' the plank for tryin' to deny our Black voters in north Florida their rightful voice in Congress! Judge J. Lee Marsh be sendin' this sorry plan back to the Florida Legislature, warnin' 'em to draw a new map that obeys the law, or face the wrath of Davy Jones' locker!
In a ruling that would make even the most seasoned pirate shout "Shiver me timbers!", a Florida judge has declared that a redistricting plan proposed by Governor Ron DeSantis is a violation of the state constitution. Arrr, this plan be walkin' the plank! The judge has commanded the scurvy-ridden legislators to go back to the drawing board and create a new map that doesn't trample upon the rights of Black voters in northern Florida.It seems that Governor DeSantis and his crew of Republicans were trying to sail their way into securing more congressional seats for their party. However, their plan had the unfortunate consequence of making it harder for Black voters to choose their own representative. That be a violation of the state's constitution, me hearties!
Circuit Judge J. Lee Marsh, our honorable captain of the court, was sharp as a cutlass in his ruling. He gave those scallywags in the Florida Legislature a stern order to redraw the map, ensuring that it complies with the law of the land. No more tricks and tomfoolery, ye scurvy dogs!
Now, ye might be wonderin' why this be such a big deal. Well, me mateys, fair representation be a cornerstone of democracy. Every voice counts, be it a pirate or a landlubber. But when ye start messin' with those lines on the map, ye be messin' with the power of the people.
So, Governor DeSantis and his crew be sent back to their ship, with a warning to fix their misdeeds. Let this be a lesson to all politicians: if ye try to mess with the rights of the people, ye best be prepared to walk the plank!