Avast ye scurvy dogs! Two landlubbers be thrown in the brig fer trespassin' at the US Open protest. The constabulary be keepin' a weather eye on the tournament now!
2023-09-08
Arrr, two o' the four scallywags bein' caught fer their climate change protest at the U.S. Open on the night o' Thursday be now facin' charges o' criminal trespass! Aye, these landlubbers be in deep waters, methinks!
In a humorous 17th-century pirate language, two scallywags have been charged with criminal trespass after causing a ruckus at the U.S. Open. A landlubber named Gregory Schwedock from the treacherous city of New York and a scurvy dog named Shayok Mukhopadhyay from White Plains, New York, were both arrested for their dastardly protest. Mukhopadhyay, the crafty scallywag, went so far as to glue his own feet to the ground at Arthur Ashe Stadium, causing a 49-minute delay to the match. Arrr, the protest took place during the women's semifinal match between Coco Gauff and Karolina Muchova. Four scallywags in total were taken into custody, but for some unknown reason, two of them have not been charged. However, those two scallywags have been given notices that they are banned from the USTA Billie Jean King National Tennis Center. During the Gauff-Muchova match, U.S. Open tournament referee Jake Gardner bravely entered the court while the security crew removed the protesting scallywags from the stands. Both Gauff and Muchova, not wanting any part of the madness, scurried back to the locker room while officials dealt with the miscreants. To ensure no more shenanigans, there was an increased police presence, including undercover officers, at the U.S. Open the following day for the men's semifinals matches. The climate group Extinction Rebellion claimed responsibility for the protest, stating that "there be no tennis on a dead planet." They accused governments and corporations of neglecting the climate crisis and emphasized that the current system prioritizes short-term gains over long-term survival. In the end, Gauff emerged victorious, advancing to her first-ever U.S. Open final, which will be played on Saturday. Aye, matey!