The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arr, U.S. be grantin' $235 million in Egypt booty, choosin' safety o'er rights, says they.

2023-09-14

Arr, the Secretary of State, Antony J. Blinken, hath swashbuckled his way through the congressional restrictions like a dashing pirate on the high seas! He be ignorin' the laws and freely distributin' U.S. military aid to Egypt, despite their despicable human rights record. Ahoy, we be livin' in a world of merry madness!

Avast, ye mateys! Gather 'round and listen to this tale of high seas diplomacy. The Secretary of State, Antony J. Blinken, has made quite the wave by overruling those scurvy dogs in Congress who be tryin' to restrict the flow of treasure, I mean military aid, to Egypt due to its dismal record on human rights.

Arr, ye see, Egypt be a land known for its ancient pharaohs and mighty pyramids, but it be also known for its less-than-stellar treatment of its own crew. The Congress, hearin' tales of abuses and violations, decided it were time to tighten the purse strings and make the Egyptian government walk the plank.

But fear not, me hearties, for Blinken stepped in like a true pirate captain, and with a swish of his pen, he said, "Nay, we be keepin' the aid flowing!" He argued that cuttin' off the supplies would do naught but harm our own interests, and that it be better to keep the lines of communication open, savvy?

Now, this decision may raise a few eyebrows among those who be fightin' for human rights, and rightly so. But Blinken be no fool, me mateys. He be knowin' that sometimes ye have to dance with the devil to get what ye want. By maintainin' a relationship with Egypt, he believes we can have a better chance at influencin' their policies and makin' 'em change their wicked ways.

So there ye have it, lads and lasses. The Secretary of State be twistin' the rules like a true pirate, defyin' Congress and keepin' the aid flowin' to Egypt. Whether this decision be a stroke of genius or a foolish gamble, only time will tell. But one thing be certain – in the treacherous waters of international diplomacy, there be no shortage of surprises, arr!

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