The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr! Looks like the scalawags at Minneapolis Police be havin' the smallest crew in four decades after George Floyd's demise.

2023-09-19

Arrr, ye scurvy dogs! The landlubbers of the Minneapolis Police Department be droppin' like flies since that fateful day when George Floyd met his untimely end in their custody. The force be sufferin' a terrible crisis, I tell ye! With a measly crew o' just 585 sworn officers, the city's police force be at its feeblest in at least four decades, as reported by the Star Tribune. 'Tis a sad state o' affairs, indeed! This fair city now boasts one o' the puniest ratios o' officers to residents among the 22 cities analyzed by the outlet. A mere 1.4 officers be guardin' every 1,000 souls! 'Tis a disgrace, I say!

In the swashbuckling land of Minneapolis, the local Police Department be facing a storm like no other. Ever since the unfortunate demise of George Floyd in their custody, the officers be abandoning ship faster than a pirate fleeing from the gallows. Arrr, the staffing crisis be reachin' depths never seen before!
The scuttlebutt be sayin' that the city's police force be down to a measly 585 sworn officers, a level not seen since the days of Blackbeard himself. The local Star Tribune be reportin' this sad state of affairs, claimin' it be the lowest staffing level in over four decades! Shiver me timbers!
But that be not all, me hearties! The city now be sportin' one of the most pitiful ratios of officers to residents out of the 22 cities analyzed by the Star Tribune. With a mere 1.4 officers for every 1,000 landlubbers, the city be feelin' the pinch. It be like havin' only one cannon to defend against a fleet of enemy ships!
Arrr, the streets of Minneapolis be needin' some good ol' law enforcement like a ship needs a captain. The locals be yearnin' for a sense of security, but it seems the officers be jumpin' ship faster than a mutineer jumps overboard. It be a sad day indeed when a city be left with such a shortage of officers.
But fear not, me hearties! The city be searchin' for a solution to this dire situation. They be recruitin' new officers and tryin' to lure back those who be abandonin' ship. It be a challenge, but the hope be sailin' strong. So let us raise a mug of grog to the brave officers who still be servin' and pray that the storm pass soon.

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