The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr, these Republican FTC scallywags be no strangers to givin' a keen eye to them Big Tech lubbers!

2023-09-20

Arr, ye scurvy dogs! The ol' Senate be fixin' to ponder upon two Republican swabbies fer the Federal Trade Commission. These two legal scholars have a fancy fer doubting the Big Tech! Melissa Holyoak and Andrew Ferguson be settin' sail afore the Senate Committee on Commerce, Science, and Transportation on Wednesday, where they'll be grilled 'bout their past endeavors and future voyages fer the FTC. They be replacin' the ole Republican commissioners, Christine Wilson and Noah...

In a jolly twist of fate, the Senate is about to embark on a journey to examine two fine Republican nominees for the Federal Trade Commission. Arr! These two legal experts, Melissa Holyoak and Andrew Ferguson, be known for their deep skepticism of the Big Tech scoundrels that plague our seas.
On Wednesday, these fine mateys will stand before the Senate Committee on Commerce, Science, and Transportation to face a barrage of questions about their past adventures and future plans for the FTC. Ye see, these two scallywags be replacing the agency's previous Republican commissioners, Christine Wilson and Noah, who have sailed off into the sunset.
Now, what be the reason for this scrutiny? Well, me hearties, it be the concerns about the growing power of those mighty tech companies that be raisin' eyebrows among the lawmakers. These be the same companies that spy on us like a parrot on a shoulder, collectin' our personal information and dominatin' the digital seas.
But fear not, me lads and lasses! Holyoak and Ferguson be known for their fierce determination to protect the rights of us common folk. They be fightin' to ensure that the Big Tech brigands play by the rules and don't take advantage of their vast treasure chests.
So, as the senators gather to grill these two new recruits, let's hope they bring their best pirate lingo and sharp wit. This be an important battle in the war against the digital dominators, and we need strong leaders who can navigate the treacherous waters of technology and keep our booty safe from plunder.
As the proceedings commence, we shall keep an eye on these two potential FTC commissioners, prayin' that they possess the savvy and audacity to stand up to the Big Tech bullies. May the winds blow in their favor, me hearties, and may they steer the FTC ship towards a fair and just digital future for all!

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