The Booty Report

Arr, there be 9 NFL crews still clingin' to a wee bit o' hope, despite their wretched winless beginnings!

2023-09-22

Arr, mateys! Nine scurvy teams be enterin' Week 3 without a single win, but fret not, says the wise NFL Research! The Buccaneers, they did start 0-2 last season, yet they clawed their way to victory and won the plunder-filled division. Arrr, there be hope, me hearties!

In the language of a 17th-century pirate, arrr, there be nine teams enterin' the third week of the 2023 NFL season without a win. Now, ye might think that be a terrible predicament, but fear not, me hearties! In the past, startin' 0-2 would spell doom for any team, but times have changed, me mateys.

The New England Patriots, Cincinnati Bengals, Houston Texans, Denver Broncos, Los Angeles Chargers, Minnesota Vikings, Chicago Bears, Carolina Panthers, and Arizona Cardinals be the unfortunate souls without a mark in the win column this season. But fear not, for history be on their side, says NFL Research. In seven of the last ten seasons, a team that started 0-2 made it to the playoffs, includin' the Bengals last season. They lost their first two games but went on a tear, winnin' 12 out of their next 14 and snatchin' the AFC North title. They even made it to the AFC Championship!

Now, after their recent loss, Cincinnati's head coach, Zac Taylor, be askin' the fans for patience. "Stay patient with us," he said. "It be a long season, and we be correctin' our mistakes and movin' forward."

But the Bengals ain't the only winless surprises. The Chargers, Broncos, Patriots, and Vikings be joinin' the club. The Texans and Panthers be startin' the season with rookie quarterbacks, while the Bears and Cardinals be havin' low expectations. The Cardinals even blew a 21-point lead against the Giants, arrr!

Now, the Chargers be losin' their first two games by a mere three points or less. Justin Herbert, bless his soul, be performin' admirably with 481 passin' yards and three touchdowns without an interception. But alas, the wins be eludin' them.

But don't ye give up hope, me hearties! Last season, eight of the fourteen playoff teams started the year 1-1 or 0-2. And all six teams that began 2-0 made it to the playoffs, arrr! So, keep yer spirits high and yer eye on the prize, me mateys! The season be far from over, and there be still hope for these winless souls.

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