The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr! Trump be retaliatin' as a scurvy judge claims fraud, reckonin' Mar-a-Lago's worth at $18M. "Me rights be violated!" he shouts.

2023-09-27

Avast ye scurvy dogs! This scallywag Trump be givin' a mighty roar like a thunderin' storm! He be callin' out this bilge rat Engoron, claimin' he be talkin' rot about fraud and belittlin' me treasure, Mar-a-Lago! This be a treacherous attack, mates, led by a corrupt lass named Letitia James! Arrr!

In the language of a 17th-century pirate, former President Donald Trump be cursin' and blarin' his anger towards Manhattan Supreme Court Justice Arthur Engoron. This scurvy dog had the audacity to claim that Trump be guilty of fraud and even had the nerve to undervalue Trump's precious Mar-a-Lago estate.

Trump, in all his glory, did not hold back his wrath. He be callin' Justice Engoron a "DERANGED" individual, believin' that this sorry excuse of a judge be part of a conspiracy against him, his kin, and his loyal supporters. Trump be claimin' that this whole ordeal be un-American, sinkin' to new depths of madness.

The former president also be blamin' the corrupt “Prosecutor,” Letitia James, who Trump believes be pullin' the strings behind this biased and wicked judge. He be accusin' her of runnin' for office based on false pretenses and usin' her power to punish him and his crew.

Trump, in his customary flamboyant fashion, be declaimin' his innocence with the vigor of a pirate defendin' his ship. He be swearin' that the charges against him be nothin' but lies and deceit, concocted by his enemies to bring him down from his perch.

But let us not forget the most grievous crime, me hearties! The judge had the audacity to lowball the value of Trump's beloved Mar-a-Lago estate. The former president be outraged, for he believes his estate be worth far more doubloons than this biased judge be claimin'.

Although Trump be usin' the language of a pirate from centuries past, his message be loud and clear: he be fightin' tooth and nail against those who dare to question his honor and his treasures. So, me mateys, let the battle continue as Trump sets sail to defend his name and his beloved Mar-a-Lago.

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