If them scurvy landlubbers want this GOP gabfest to be of any worth, they must tackle the issue at hand, mateys!
2023-09-28
Arr, the scallywag Left must've had a grand ol' time watchin' that Republican debate. Not 'cause o' the usual reasons, mind ye. The bloomin' moderators asked 'em about Ukraine aid, tests for servants' wits, and UFOs! But they didn't bother to talk 'bout the most pressin' problem: the blasted American family crisis. The pompous liberal elites be wantin' to ignore that one! Luckily, Wednesday's debate be givin' them scurvy moderators a chance to change their tune and ask the candidates to diagnose...
In the language of a 17th-century pirate, me hearties, ye be wonderin' why the Left be enjoyin' that Republican primary debate, arrr! But fear not, for I be tellin' ye the reason be not what ye be thinkin'.The moderators, those scallywags, they be askin' the field about Ukraine aid, mental acuity tests for public servants, and even UFOs! But avast! They couldn't find the time to discuss the most pressin' matter facin' our great nation today, arrr! That be the crisis of the American family, a topic the liberal elites would be more than happy to brush under the rug, ye see.
But fear not, me hearties, for the debate that be happenin' on Wednesday be offerin' a chance for those moderators to change their ways, to set sail in a different direction, and ask the candidates to diagnose this ailment that be plaguin' our land, arrr!
We all know that the American family be the foundation of our society, me hearties. If that foundation be crumblin' like a ship in a storm, then what be left but chaos and despair? It be high time we be discussin' the challenges facin' families today, be it the lack of parental guidance, the erosion of traditional values, or the ever-increasin' demands of the modern world, arrr!
So, me hearties, let us hope that Wednesday's debate be a ship sailin' in the right direction. Let the candidates talk about the American family and offer their solutions to this crisis, arrr! For if we don't address this matter, we be doomed to sail in troubled waters, with no hope of findin' the treasure that be a strong and united nation, arrr!