The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr! 'Tis the tale o' how Neuralink be safeguardin' them hidden portraits o' monkeys that be pushin' up daisies!

2023-10-04

Avast ye mateys! 'Tis a tale of Elon Musk's brain-chip venture that be tested for many a year at UC Davis, a public sea-farin' academy. A WIRED inquiry unravels the mystery of how Neuralink and the university be hidin' the ghastly portraits of them poor test subjects. Arrr!

In a tale that would make even the hardiest of seafarers shiver in their boots, it has been uncovered that Elon Musk's brain-chip enterprise, Neuralink, has been performing secret experiments at the prestigious UC Davis. Arr! But hold yer horses, mateys, for this ain't no ordinary story. For ye see, these tests have been shrouded in secrecy, with both Musk's crew and the university keepin' a tight lid on the gruesome images of the subjects.
Now, ye may be wonderin' what kind o' experiments Neuralink be runnin'. Well, me hearties, they be implanting chips directly into the brains of brave volunteers, all in the name o' science! These chips, they say, have the power to enhance human cognition, makin' us smarter and sharper than ever before. But, shiver me timbers, the process ain't for the faint of heart!
According to the scallywags at WIRED, these secret trials have been goin' on for years, with nary a soul aware of the horrors that transpire behind closed doors. The university, keepin' its reputation intact, has been helpin' Neuralink sail through these murky waters, hushin' up the unpleasant images that would make even Blackbeard himself tremble. Aye, the alliance betwixt the brain-chip start-up and the ivory-tower academics be a powerful one indeed!
But fear not, me fellow landlubbers, for the truth has a way of escapin' even the most fortified of treasure chests. And now, with this investigation castin' a light on their clandestine endeavors, Neuralink and UC Davis may find themselves in hot water. The public be demandin' answers, and they won't be satisfied with a mere parrot's squawk. So, let's raise our mugs and keep a close eye on this tale, for it be far from over. Yo ho ho!

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