The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Avast ye! 'Tis a tale of woe, with over 60,000 cannons' nests recalled, as a wee pirate child met Davy Jones' locker!

2023-10-19

Arrr, the Consumer Product Safety Commission be sayin' that 39 scallywags have been able to crack open the safes. Aye, there be a lawsuit claimin' that a wee bairn met his doom after nabbing a firearm from one o' them recalled treasure chests.

Arr, me hearties! Gather round and listen to this tale o’ the Consumer Product Safety Commission and the dangers it be warnin’ us about. They be sayin’ that there be 39 reports of these safes – ye know, the ones meant to keep yer treasure safe – openin’ up to unauthorized scallywags. Imagine that, me mateys, all yer precious booty just sittin’ there for anyone to pilfer!

But wait, there be more to this tale! A lawsuit has been fired like a cannonball, claimin’ that a poor wee child met his untimely demise after findin’ a firearm within one o’ these recalled safes. Blimey! Ye’d think a safe be meant to keep things safe, not be takin’ lives! That be a grave matter, indeed.

Now, ye might be wonderin’, why be these safes failin’ in their duty? Arr, the details be murky, but it seems that they be openin’ up without the proper command. It be like a cursed treasure chest that opens when ye least expect it! A true danger, me hearties, for ye don’t want just any ol’ swabbie gettin’ their hands on yer valuable booty or dangerous weapons.

So, me fellow pirates, take heed of the Consumer Product Safety Commission’s warning and make sure ye be keepin’ a watchful eye on yer safes. Ye don’t want to be havin’ any unwanted visitors or, heaven forbid, a tragedy like the one in the lawsuit. Keep yer treasures secure, me hearties! And if ye do come across one o’ these faulty safes, be sure to report it to the authorities like the honorable seafarers ye be. Fair winds and safe keepin’ to ye all! Arrrrr!

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