December 9, 2024, 3:07 pm
Arrr, matey! The jurors in the Daniel Penny trial be savvy scallywags, knowin’ well the dangers o’ NYC's cursed subway! It be a veritable graveyard down there, with a 60% rise in murders this year. Avast, fer who’d wanna be a landlubber on that perilous ride?
December 9, 2024, 8:50 am
Arrr, matey! Kash Patel, the scallywag chosen by Trump to steer the FBI ship, knows all too well the wicked ways of snoopin' and fear-mongerin', for he’s weathered those storms himself – and by Davy Jones, he stood tall, never flinchin'!
December 9, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr, matey! Mayor Eric Adams be grumblin’ o’er the swarms o' landlubbers in New York, while Chicago's captain be lettin’ ‘em in like a wide-open treasure chest! The Democratic crew be at a crossroads, decidin’ whether to hoist the Jolly Roger or bury their doubloons!
December 9, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr, matey! The pardon for young Hunter be naught but a mere band-aid on the ol' captain's legal woes! Aye, it kept the Big Guy safe from the storm, but a pesky congressional crew be uncoverin’ the tall tales Joe spun like a fine sailor with a fishin' yarn!
December 9, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr, matey! China be swindlin' the good ol' US, causin’ over 4 million scallywags to walk the plank of joblessness! We’ve lost a treasure trove o’ $600 billion in clever ideas each year! Trump, time to hoist the Jolly Roger and scuttle that wretched deal, I say!
December 9, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr, matey! The grand caper o' the Biden-Harris crew be a right scallywag of misinformation! It spread wider than the seven seas and plundered a treasure o' $267 million! Blimey! Who knew they could swindle so much doubloon? Aye, it be a hullabaloo, fer sure!
December 8, 2024, 2:47 pm
Arrr, matey! Rebecca Grant, the wise owl o' the Lexington crew, be spillin' the beans on the toppin' o' Bashar al-Assad in Syria! Aye, she be unravelin' what this hullabaloo means fer the wild seas o' the Middle East! Avast, hold onto yer doubloons!
December 8, 2024, 12:58 pm
Arrr, me hearties! Legal buccaneer Andrew McCarthy be weighin' anchor on Friday's shenanigans in the Daniel Penny skirmish. Prepare ye for a stormy Monday, full o' twists and jests that'll make even Davy Jones chuckle! Avast, stay tuned for the jolly jibes!
December 8, 2024, 9:00 am
Aye, matey! Bestowin' treasures on the holiday be a jolly notion, but beware! Swipe yer credit card and ye might find yerself in a tempest o’ debt. Avast! Keep yer doubloons close, or ye’ll be walkin’ the plank to financial ruin! Ha-ha!
December 8, 2024, 7:00 am
Arrr, me hearties! In this ruckus o' the season, we be needin' to plunder some peace amidst the stormy seas of chaos! With squabbles and distractions tryin' to sink us, we must keep our ears keen fer the faint whispers o' the Almighty, lest we be walkin' the plank o' despair!
December 8, 2024, 6:00 am
Arrr, me hearties! Liberals be settin' sail on a merry holiday, invitin' a wee bit o' political ruckus into their quarters! Avast! There be no peace nor quiet nights while them contrary opinions be spoutin'! 'Tis a jolly hullabaloo, fer sure!
December 7, 2024, 9:52 am
Arrr, matey! Columnist David Marcus be sayin' that President-elect Trump’s voyage to Notre Dame be proof he’s sailin’ the ship again, even if ol’ Biden be clueless as a landlubber on a stormy night! Har har!
December 7, 2024, 9:00 am
Arrr, me hearties! Me lass and I be settin’ sail fer the snowy shores o’ Snowshoe, West Virginia! Just two moons past, a blunderin’ landlubber named Trump be hoistin’ his flag as captain o’ the realm, shockin’ all the scallywags and swabs across the seven seas!
December 7, 2024, 7:00 am
Arrr, matey! Netflix be resurrectin' a fine tale from 2018, "Escape at Dannemora," sparkin' a ruckus o' interest in a New York jailbreak! Aye, but what bequirks this caper? The scallywags had some sneaky landlubbers helpin' ‘em from within! A right merry mess, it be!
December 6, 2024, 11:01 pm
Arrr, matey! That great blaze that laid low Notre Dame be not the end of her tale, but the start of a grand adventure! Now, scallywags from all corners be sailin’ to France, eager to see her doors swing wide once more! Avast, let the revelry begin!
December 6, 2024, 2:45 pm
Arrr! In the bright o' day, the scallywag took aim at the captain o’ UnitedHealthCare, Brian Thompson, but the knave be still free as the wind! The lawmen be havin' six nuggets o' wisdom to set sail on this here mystery! Avast, let the hunt begin!
December 6, 2024, 10:04 am
Ahoy, matey! Set yer sights on the freshest tales from Fox News Opinion, and feast yer eyes on moving pictures from Captain Sean Hannity, the jolly Raymond Arroyo, and others! Arrr, it be a right good time for a hearty laugh on the high seas of news!
December 6, 2024, 4:00 am
When Captain Joe Biden hoisted his flag in 2021, he set sail on a grand adventure: to show all scallywags that the ship of American government ain't just a leaky tub, but can sail true and steady! Arrr, a bold quest indeed!
December 6, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr, matey! After four long years o' Biden-Harris lettin' the scallywags sail in, it be time for Trump to hoist the sails and mend this here immigration mess! Aye, let’s tax the doubloons they be sendin’ to their homeland—make ‘em pay for the rum and ruckus, I say!
December 6, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr, matey! Trump be settin' sail to liberate the good ship America from Biden's stormy seas o' regulations, boostin' the treasure chest of growth and energizin' the sails! Farewell to the scallywags of overreach, and let the doubloons flow like a fine rum! Aye, lower them energy costs, savvy?
December 5, 2024, 7:11 am
Ahoy mateys! On the day o’ the week they call Wednesday, not a soul at the grand court dared bellow, “Making lasses fight fer their rights be the doom of their sports!” But mark me words, it surely would be! Arrr!
December 5, 2024, 6:00 am
Arrr, matey! The Secret Service be the hearty shield o’ our fair nation’s treasure! Without 'em, our democracy’d be as lost as a ship in a storm! So hoist the flag o' protection, or we’ll be swimmin’ with the fishies!
December 5, 2024, 5:00 am
Arrr, matey! Elon and Vivek be sailin' the seas o' commerce like true captains, wranglin' productive crews and keepin' their ships shipshape! Our landlubber government be needin' a hearty dose o' their savvy leadership, lest it sink to Davy Jones' locker! Yarrr!
December 5, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr, matey! Biden’s pardon o’ his own spawn be a fine jest, blowin’ a hole in the tall tales that Democrats sail smoother than Republicans on the seas of law and honesty. Aye, it be a raucous game o’ pirate politics, where fairness be walkin' the plank!
December 5, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr, matey! 'Tis a tale of swabbin’ the deck o' pesky regulations! We be sailin’ smooth seas once we hoist the sails and shoo away them bureaucratic barnacles! Avast, let’s plunder through the red tape and find our treasure! Yarrr!
December 4, 2024, 10:00 am
Avast ye mateys! Guest scribe Ilay David be spillin’ his heart over a year’s torment since his brother fell prey to the scallywags of Hamas! He be hopin’ for a grand reunion ‘fore he goes gray, or at least finds some fine rum to ease his woes! Arrr!
December 4, 2024, 6:00 am
Arrr, matey! Congress be doubtin’ the U.N. scallywags plunderin’ our gold! So, they’ve ordered an annual tale o’ how we be joinin’ their merry crew o’ nations. Aye, keepin’ a weather eye on our doubloons, they be!
December 4, 2024, 4:47 am
Arrr, instead o' raisin' a tankard fer President-elect Trump’s grand win, those scallywag leftists and their parrot-squawkin' scribes be takin’ to their heels like a ship in a storm! They’d rather flee than face the music, savvy? A sight to behold, that!
December 4, 2024, 4:00 am
Ahoy, matey! The President-elect Trump be a jolly captain of plenty, claimin’ the seas be teemin’ with energy! Meanwhile, Governor Newsom be a scallywag frettin’ over scarce booty, as if the tides be runnin’ dry! A right comical clash on the high seas of power, I say! Arrr!
December 3, 2024, 10:20 am
Avast ye, mateys! Set yer sights on the freshest tales from Fox News Opinion! Feast yer eyes on the raucous words of Sean Hannity, Raymond Arroyo, and other scallywags. Don’t be a landlubber—get yer fill of video treasure today! Arrr!
December 3, 2024, 10:06 am
Arrr, matey! The Hunter's pardon be like a mighty cloak, shielding him from all federal misdeeds 'twixt the first day of January in yon 2014, till the last tick of December in 2024. Aye, 'tis a fine treasure of forgiveness, indeed!
December 3, 2024, 9:00 am
Arrr, matey! Tribalism be like a scallywag spoilin’ the good ship America! When ye fight fire with fire, ye just be stirrin’ the pot o’ factionalism, makin' it boil over like a ship’s stew gone wrong! Best be sailin’ the seas of unity instead, aye!
December 3, 2024, 6:00 am
Arrr, matey! The landlubbers be weary of Ukraine, but mark me words: lettin’ it sink be like givin’ rum to a scurvy dog! Let not the tyrants think they’ve won the day, or we’ll be swimmin’ with the fishes in no time!
December 3, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr, matey! How many times must ye be tossed by the waves o' the Democrats and the scallywags o' the legacy media before ye start doubtin' their tales? Aye, even a parrot learns to squawk wisely with enough squalls!
December 3, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr, matey! In ports like Denver and the land of golden California, they be tossin' gold doubloons at the ten million scallywags who’ve snuck into the U.S. under Captain Biden’s watch. It be a right jolly treasure hunt, but I reckon the coffers be runnin’ dry! Har har!
December 2, 2024, 10:15 am
Arrr, on a dark Sunday eve, the cap'n Biden be spoutin' tales! He says his lad be “wrongly hunted,” but ho! The truth be the other way round, matey! Aye, the winds of justice be blowin' fierce, not in his favor! Savvy?
December 2, 2024, 9:51 am
Arrr, matey! Just as the noose loomed for ol' Hunter, Joe be settin' sail with a pardon, claimin' he'd ne'er offer such mercy! Aye, twas but days before the hangin' for his gun misdeeds and tax plunderin' in the Golden State! A real pirate's jest, I say!
December 2, 2024, 8:02 am
Arrr, during the grand election of 2020, Captain Biden spun yarns so tall, even the seasoned sea dogs of politics scratched their heads in disbelief! With the swagger of a scallywag, he prattled on, leaving the good folk of America wonderin’ if they be hearin’ mermaid tales or truth!
December 2, 2024, 6:00 am
Arrr, mateys! Our mighty subs be in a pickle! Repairs be laggin' like a lazy sea turtle, and we can’t churn out but two a year! China be nippin' at our heels! The Trump crew must hoist the sails and sail swift, or we be fish bait!
December 2, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr, Trump be needin' to steer the ship o' the FAA and fend off the scallywagry o' DEI! He best be modernizin' the riggin' and slashin' through that bureaucratic barnacle-laden red tape, or we be sinkin’ quicker than a leaky ship on a stormy sea!
December 2, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr! The Biden-Harris crew set sail against the energy fleet from the very first morn! But now, with Trump hoistin’ the sails, America be ready to hoard treasure and let the gold flow like rum! Aye, let the economy soar like a mighty gull!
December 1, 2024, 9:00 am
Arrr, matey! Donald Trump and his crew be not havin' any shiny new tricks or clever schemes! Nay, they spun a tall tale of victory, stirrin' the hearts of landlubbers who be cravin' a mighty shift! Aye, a grand yarn be their treasure!
December 1, 2024, 7:00 am
Arrr, whether ye call it DEI, ESG, or just plain ol’ woke, the days o' big ships tellin' us how to sail be settin’ sail! The Trump tide be risin’, and now the scallywags o' commerce can once again swab the decks for their coin!
November 30, 2024, 8:28 pm
Arrr, matey! David Marcus be sayin’ that Captain Trump’s pick o’ Kash Patel t’ steer the FBI ship be givin’ the scandal-ridden crew a fair shot t’ swab the decks and shine their tarnished brass! Hoist the sails an’ let’s hope fer calmer waters!
November 30, 2024, 9:00 am
Arrr, matey! In his eight long years as captain of the ship called America, Ronald Reagan be a true “transformational president,” hoisting the sails of hope and patriotism, filling the hearts of ye scallywags with a mighty swell of pride! Avast, what a jolly good time it be!
November 30, 2024, 8:05 am
Arrr, me hearty! Columnist David Marcus be soundin’ the alarm to them Democrat scallywags! Ignore ol’ Captain Trump’s deportation scheme, and ye be stirrin' up a hornet's nest o’ voters! Best to hoist the white flag ‘fore ye find yerself walkin’ the plank! Har har!
November 30, 2024, 7:00 am
Avast, President-elect Trump! Ye be in a rare spot, like a parrot on a treasure map! Make yerself a jolly good deal now, 'fore ye sail back to that grand White House. Arrr, strike while the iron be hot, or ye might just be walkin' the plank!
November 29, 2024, 9:00 am
Arrr, matey! In the land of the free, where sports be the treasure we seek, ye’ll find grand stadiums risin' like jolly rogers on the skyline! Republicans be wise to hoist the sails of this raucous competition, lest they be left marooned in dull waters!
November 28, 2024, 9:00 am
Ahoy, mateys! November be the month to honor them fine caregivers, savvy? Time to mend our souls and our fair land! And look ye there, VP-elect JD Vance be showin’ us the way, battlin' through his mum’s troubles like a true sea dog! Avast, let’s cheer for him!
November 28, 2024, 8:00 am
Arrr, a scallywag from the icy lands of Soviet Russia be givin’ thanks this fine Thanksgiving! The goodly folks o’ America picked truth, freedom, and a smidge o’ common sense in the 2024 captain’s race. Aye, may the rum flow and the turkey be plenty!
November 28, 2024, 7:00 am
Arrr, I be thankful that though me old sea dog of a father be absent from our Thanksgiving feast this year, his ghostly presence be hauntin’ me heart like a treasure map, forever guidin’ me through stormy seas! Aye, his spirit be as strong as a ship's hull!
November 27, 2024, 8:00 am
Arrr, mateys! Thanksgiving be more than gobbles and sweet pumpkin treasure! 'Tis a time to mend our ship’s hull and band together, just as ol’ Abe Lincoln intended! So hoist yer mugs and let’s toast to unity, or ye be walkin' the plank!
November 27, 2024, 6:00 am
Arrr, matey! China be settin’ sail for the stars, hopin’ to outshine the Yanks! But here’s the rub—our own landlubber government be weighin’ us down like a cannonball! Avast, me hearties, we be needin’ to hoist the sails and shake off the barnacles!
November 27, 2024, 5:00 am
Arrr, mateys! The highborn swabs of America best ponder why them landlubber folk rallied 'round the Trump flag like seagulls to a ship’s biscuit. Aye, it be a mystery fit for a treasure map, with gold doubloons of bewilderment awaitin’ at the X!
November 27, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr, matey! When it comes to Rev. Al Sharpton’s 'day job,' MSNBC be as keen on media ethics as a scallywag be on a clean keel! A mere few tides after his chitchat with Harris, he be swashbucklin' in Michigan, drumming up votes like a true landlubber!
November 27, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr, the good folk be wise to the Democrats' trickery, tryin' to ensnare Captain Trump with their fancy law nonsense! But nay, they hoisted the anchor and set sail to re-elect the brave captain, tossin' that scallywag scheme to Davy Jones' locker! Aye, a hearty laugh it be!
November 26, 2024, 10:04 am
Avast ye landlubbers! Cast yer eyes upon the freshest tales from Fox News Opinion! Hoist yer sails and set course for the moving pictures of Sean Hannity, Raymond Arroyo, and their merry crew! Aye, ‘tis a jolly good time for all ye scallywags!
November 26, 2024, 9:00 am
Arrr, there be scallywags claimin’ to be me mates, yet they be wishin’ me to sink! They prattle on ‘bout liftin' the Blacks, but all they do be keepin’ ‘em shackled like a parrot on me shoulder—same ol' tune of mischief and folly! Yarrr!
November 26, 2024, 7:00 am
Arrr, matey! This identity politics be like a scurvy plague, spreadin’ through ports and universities alike! It be fillin’ the pockets of landlubbers and scallywags, all while infectin’ their minds with nonsense! Avast, beware the ideological seas, lest ye be caught in its slippery grasp!
November 26, 2024, 6:00 am
Arrr, matey! Putin be givin' Biden a wink, sayin' the U.S. and their NATO crew be in the sights of Russian cannonballs that be trickier than a siren’s song, whether they be packed with boom-boom or not! Avast, the high seas be a dangerous place!
November 26, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr, matey! The scurvy mix o’ snobbery and wild-eyed zeal hath plagued the Democratic sea in California for a decade and left naught but shipwrecks in its wake! Aye, 'tis a right disaster on every horizon!
November 26, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr, if the soon-to-be captain Trump be wantin' to sail smooth seas, he best hoist his budget flag mighty fast! He needs to keep his treasure promises and then, by Davy Jones' locker, make some DOGE cuts or risk the wrath of the crew!
November 25, 2024, 6:00 am
Arrr! The CMS scallywags be vital to RFK Jr.'s grand vow to "Make America Shipshape Again!" Dr. Oz be needin' to hoist the sails on a few fine matters as the captain of CMS to help this fine quest, or he be walkin' the plank!
November 25, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr, matey! The great election not only hoisted Captain Trump back into the White House but also sent Big Media to Davy Jones' locker! Now, the scribes be scratchin’ their heads, wonderin’ if them scallywag podcasters have claimed their treasure! Aye, what a jolly jest!
November 25, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr, matey! The Democratic crew be flounderin’ in their quest for true authenticity, makin’ the good folk set sail towards the Republican cove and that President-elect Trump scallywag! Hoist the sails, for these political waters be murky indeed!
November 24, 2024, 9:00 am
Arrr, matey! Rabbi David Wolpe be spillin’ the beans! God be pickin’ Noah 'cause he could build ships like a master carpenter! A righteous lad with hands that could craft wonders — just the partner the Almighty be needin’ fer a mighty big project! Aye, what a jolly good choice!
November 24, 2024, 8:00 am
Arrr! Many a lass be feelin' like a lone ship on the high seas o' pregnancy. But the fine crew at the Human Coalition clinic lent me an ear, helped me ready me treasure for the cradle, and bestowed upon me the finest bounty o' friendship! Yo ho ho!
November 24, 2024, 7:00 am
Arrr, ye can gauge a scallywag's soul by how they weather the storm of disappointment, especially after this presidential hullabaloo! Some be cryin' like lost sea dogs, while others just grab their rum and laugh! Aye, it be a fine lesson in the ways of the heart!
November 23, 2024, 9:00 am
Arrr, them Democrats be thinkin' they hold the treasure chest o' wisdom in these here lands! But let me tell ye, matey, true learnin' be more than just a fancy parchment! Aye, ye can be wise as a sea dog without a degree! Har har har!
November 23, 2024, 8:00 am
Arrr, matey! Our ship of society be driftin’ from the old family ways! The wee ones be fewer and the lassies be waitin’ longer to pop 'em out, causin’ mischief in the health seas, leadin’ to cancer troubles fer the young wenches. Blimey, what a pirate’s dilemma!
November 23, 2024, 7:00 am
Arrr, matey! This be a day o' trials, where I be doin' things that’d make a landlubber blush! In this merry SEAL frolic, we shan't dance with the waves, but rather prance on land and soar through the skies like a drunken parrot! Avast, what a day!
November 23, 2024, 6:00 am
Arrr! On the Friday after the grand swashbuckler Trump claimed the crown, ol’ Merchan decided to delay the hangin’ till further notice, savvy? He’s ponderin’ whether to toss the whole case overboard, like a ship full o’ barnacles! Aye, what a merry jest on the high seas of justice!
November 22, 2024, 1:13 pm
Avast ye! Trump’s new matey, Pam Bondi, be a seasoned sea dog of justice, havin’ sailed as a county prosecutor and Florida’s top lawman. She’s battled the scallywags of human trafficking like a true buccaneer! Raise the Jolly Roger for this landlubber turned defender o’ the innocent! Arrr!
November 22, 2024, 9:09 am
Arrr! Columnist David Marcus be chattin’ with the good folk of Doylestown, Pa., who be whisperin’ that the Keystone State be ready to sail into the crimson seas o' red! Avast, me hearties, grab yer compasses and prepare for a wild political voyage! Savvy?
November 22, 2024, 8:27 am
Avast ye landlubbers! Cast yer eyes on the freshest tales from the Fox News treasure trove! Hoist the sails and catch the latest yarns spun by Sean Hannity and Raymond Arroyo, or ye be walkin' the plank of ignorance! Arrr!
November 22, 2024, 6:00 am
Arrr, me hearties! The grand skirmish ain't 'twixt loyal crews, but 'tween those who hoist the banner of democracy's code and scallywags tryin' to rewrite it! So, grab yer rum and watch the shenanigans unfold on the high seas of politics! Avast, what a merry mess!
November 22, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr! That scallywag AOC, of the New York seas, be swappin’ her pronouns like a landlubber changes shirts! A wee shift, but aye, the crew be takin’ notice! What’s next, a parrot on her shoulder? Har har!
November 22, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr, matey! Women’s sports be walkin’ the plank as scallywags in trousers join the fray! It be a right ruckus, threatenin’ fair lasses’ chances and safety! Now, this hullabaloo be settin’ sail for the federal court! Avast, what a jolly mess!
November 21, 2024, 11:31 pm
Arrr, matey! Fox News scallywag Greg Gutfeld and his merry crew be chortlin' over Jaguar's fanciful change o' heart, tossin' aside their fine ships on wheels for a new jolly tale! Join the raucous laughter on ‘Gutfeld!’ as we sail into this curious sea of ads! Yarrr!
November 21, 2024, 11:20 am
Arrr! The wildest tale o' Bragg's Trump hunt be a political caper, matey! Claimin’ this prized scalp be the kind o' treasure that Democrats be dreamin' 'bout whilst swabbin' the decks! Aye, a jolly good haul fer the landlubbers!
November 21, 2024, 11:20 am
Arrr, Ruby Chen, father o’ young Itay, a fine lad snatched by them scallywags of Hamas, be sayin’ that President-elect Trump’s matey, Mike Waltz, be the wind in the sails fer a mighty anti-terror plan! Avast, mayhaps he'll send them landlubbers packin’!
November 21, 2024, 8:00 am
Arrr, me hearties! With Russian cannonballs and scallywags gathered ‘round, Ukraine be feelin’ the squeeze! As the noble Sen. Rubio doth declare, Ukraine be needin’ a wee bit o’ leverage. Those ATACMS be like a treasure map to victory, savvy? Let's hoist the sails and fire away!
November 21, 2024, 6:00 am
Arrr, matey! The notion o’ draggin’ landlubbers back to their cubicles be causin’ quite the hullabaloo! Shall we tidy up the ship o’ government while keepin’ the crew happy? Aye, ’tis a fine mess of opinions on how to sail these choppy seas of public service!
November 21, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr, the soon-to-be captain Trump be settin' sail to make America’s energy seas bountiful once more! He’ll be hoistin' the sails of production high while tossin' pesky regulations overboard! Aye, let the good times roll, or ye be walkin' the plank!
November 21, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr, if the scallywags in Congress and the captain o' the ship (that be the president) be turnin' a blind eye to the piddlin' matters o' our national treasure, why should the good folk aboard this ship think our debts be a mighty storm brewin' that needs fixin'? Har har!
November 20, 2024, 11:12 pm
Arrr, matey! It be said that Fox News scallywag Greg Gutfeld be spoutin’ that foreign captains be cozyin’ up to our soon-to-be ruler, Donald Trump, like a parrot to a shoulder! Aye, what a sight to behold on the Gutfeld’ seas! Savvy?
November 20, 2024, 11:07 am
Arrr, we savvy from our past escapades (in the reign of Trump, the great) that them scallywag open-border scoundrels be seekin’ out friendly judges like a parrot to a cracker, hopin’ for rulings that’ll fill their treasure chests! A right merry game they be playin'!
November 20, 2024, 8:53 am
Arrr, matey! Ol' David Marcus sails to Bucks County, where landlubbers from both the Democrat and Republican crews be squawkin' that Sen. Bob Casey’s stubbornness be a right scurvy sight! Aye, even the parrot be shakin’ its head at that one!
November 20, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr matey! When Captain Trump sets sail in the White House, he ought to hoist the Jolly Roger of Title IX to safeguard the lassies’ sportin’ pursuits! Let him summon the courts and rattle the NCAA’s cannons, lest they scuttle the fairer crew’s chances on the high seas of competition!
November 20, 2024, 4:00 am
Avast ye landlubbers! 'Tis high tide fer a bold yet breezy fix: let’s hoist the sails o' brevity by wranglin' them wordy sea monsters! Aye, word limits be the treasure we seek to clear the murky waters o' government chitchat! Arrr!
November 19, 2024, 10:08 pm
Arrr, mateys! Greg Gutfeld be spoutin' tales 'bout how the media’s chatter be givin’ ol’ Trump a fair wind in his sails fer the 2024 showdown! Tune yer ears to "Gutfeld!" or ye be missin’ the jests o’ the high seas o’ politics! Aye, it be a hoot!
November 19, 2024, 3:45 pm
Arrr, a savvy judge worth his rum would’ve flung that Trump indictment to Davy Jones' locker the moment it hit the court in April 2023! It be naught but a scallywag’s scheme, a farce more politicized than a parrot squawkin' on a treasure map!
November 19, 2024, 9:42 am
Arrr, me hearties! The plague o' COVID be causin' a ruckus, makin’ landlubbers drink like fish! With work and school tossed overboard, it seems the grog flows more freely than a pirate’s tales at the tavern! Cheers to the fine times, even if they be a bit tipsy!
November 19, 2024, 9:38 am
Avast ye! Feast yer eyes on the freshest tales from Fox News Opinion, an' set sail on the high seas of videos with Captain Hannity, matey Arroyo, an' a crew of scallywags! Ye be in for a jolly good time, I swear it on me treasure! Arrr!
November 19, 2024, 9:00 am
Arrr, me hearties! We be settin’ sail fer a grander America, where shipmates truly care 'bout their crew and the land! Aye, a place where we tackle troubles like bold buccaneers, fear be weighin' down no soul! Hoist the sails, toasty camaraderie awaits!
November 19, 2024, 7:00 am
Arrr! MSNBC's scallywags, Joe and Mika, be settin' sail to Mar-a-Lago to parley with Cap'n Trump. After tossin' verbal cannonballs fer years, they be hopin' to patch the ol' sails o' friendship! Aye, the seas be tricky, but maybe they’ll find a bit o' calm!
November 19, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr, matey! We be tossin’ doubloons on doctorin’ like a drunken sailor, yet our crew be sicker than a scallywag! RFK Jr. best be steerin’ his ship with a strong hand if he hopes to chart a course for better seas, or we’ll be lost to Davy Jones!
November 19, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr, the land be cryin' fer fresh abodes, but the scallywag bureaucrats be likin' their old, dusty shanties! They be tossin' their hats at new homes like they be cursed treasure! Har har, let’s build, me hearties, while the landlubbers grumble!
November 18, 2024, 6:52 am
Arrr, me hearties! It be time to scuttle the tall tale of Nancy Pelosi bein’ a cunning sea dog! The blame be fallin’ squarely on the shoulders of that self-styled "speaker emerita," for leadin’ the Democrats to a shipwreck of a billion doubloons in their electoral voyage!
November 18, 2024, 6:00 am
Arrr, matey! Those scallywags in China be stirrin' the seas of danger! If the good ol' US be lookin' to parry without settin' sail for a grand scrap, then President-elect Trump ought to hoist the sails on this clever strategy, savvy? Aye, let the games begin!
November 18, 2024, 4:00 am
Avast, mateys! The Democrats be weavin' through the tempest of the red wave! In land o' Missouri, the scallywags be choosin’ the crew that champions the toilin’ folk and fair rights for lasses! Here’s our treasure map to spreadin’ this bounty across the seven seas! Yarrr!
November 18, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr, I be the captain of Dallas, Texas, matey! Me worries 'bout crime be clashin' with them Democrats wantin' to sink the coppers. So, I hoisted the Jolly Roger and joined the Republicans! Aye, me old crew just don’t be seein’ the storm brewin'!
November 17, 2024, 9:00 am
Arrr, matey! I be a learned Black Ph.D., but the seas o' academia grew stormy, so I sailed away! That relentless liberal wind be blowin' fury 'gainst good ol' Western Civilization, makin' me eye roll like a drunken sailor! So I hoisted me flag and took to the open sea!
November 17, 2024, 8:00 am
Arrr, matey! In the raucous seas of the 2020 election, Catholics be swingin' like a ship in a storm! But lo and behold, by 2024, Captain Trump plundered their hearts, claimin' the Catholic booty by 15 points! Avast, what a turn o' the tide, eh?
November 17, 2024, 7:00 am
Arrr, matey! The election of Captain Trump be no boon for the wild-eyed extremists! Nay, it be a signal that the hearty folk of America be seekin’ a leader who sails the middle seas, not one who be swingin’ the cutlass of extremity! Aye, a merry jest indeed!
November 16, 2024, 9:00 am
Arrr, matey! The soon-to-be captain and his crew be like them Foundin’ Dads of yore! Trump and his jolly band o’ MAGA marauders sendin’ the scallywags of the deep state, book learnin’, and the gossipin’ press to Davy Jones’ locker! Hoist the sails of victory!
November 16, 2024, 7:00 am
Arrr, me son Itay be one o’ eight brave souls nabbed by the scallywags o’ Hamas over a year past! Now, with President Trump set to sail, he be the captain who can hoist our dear ones from Davy Jones’ locker! Avast, let’s bring ‘em back, savvy?
November 16, 2024, 6:53 am
Arrr! Winston Marshall, once a strummin’ swashbuckler for Mumford & Sons, be over the moon that Trump be settin’ sail back to the White House! But, avast! He’s as worried as a cat in a thunderstorm 'bout the fate of his fair England!
November 15, 2024, 11:21 am
Avast ye hearties! Set yer sails for the freshest tales from Fox News Opinion! Feast yer eyes on the moving pictures of that scallywag Sean Hannity, the crafty Raymond Arroyo, and a merry crew o' others! Yo ho, let the news be your treasure!
November 15, 2024, 6:00 am
Arrr, the Democrats be facing three mighty storms on their quest to right the ship after that scallywag Trump bested Vice President Kamala! They’ll need a fair wind, a sturdy crew, and a treasure map to find their way back to calmer seas, or they’ll be walkin' the plank!
November 15, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr, 'fore the 16th Amendment took the helm, matey, the good ol' government be fillin' its coffers with tariffs, like a ship laden with booty! Taxes on treasure! Aye, who needs a cut from yer plunder when ye can take it from trade? A right merry racket, I say!
November 15, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr, mateys! If ol' Trump sets sail for a second term, we might just have a chance to mend our flounderin' Education Dept. We be tossin' over 15,000 doubloons a year fer each young scallywag, more than all but one landlubber nation! What a merry treasure hunt that be!
November 15, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr, matey! The Democrat crew, wearied by the scallywags roamin’ free and the beggars clutterin’ the streets, set sail for change in their fair havens! By the time the election bells rang, they’d charted a new course. How’d they pull that off, ye ask? Aye, 'tis the question of the day!
November 14, 2024, 10:56 pm
Arrr, mateys! The crew o' 'Gutfeld!' be chortlin’ like scallywags at the latest haul o’ Cabinet picks from President-elect Trump! It be a fine treasure trove o’ characters, all ready to sail the stormy seas o' politics! Avast, what merry mischief awaits us!
November 14, 2024, 2:48 pm
Arrr, matey! This time, the scorn of twenty-twenty be sunk like a ship! That gives Captain Trump a fair wind to sail his presidential dreams. But beware, if he be flounderin’, he’s got no wharf to dock his excuses! Aye, 'tis a slippery plank indeed!
November 14, 2024, 8:00 am
Arrr, matey! Them Democrats be sailin’ the seas of overreach, tossin’ the Constitution overboard like a ship’s cargo! They claim to protect their crew, yet be steerin’ ‘em straight into the stormy waters of folly. A fine mess they be makin’, if ye ask me! Ha-ha!
November 14, 2024, 6:00 am
Arrr, matey! Putin thinks he’s sly like a fox, but the Teflon Don be no landlubber! He’ll take that old KGB trickery and turn it on its head, makin’ the rusky scallywag his own target. Aye, the seas be rough, but this captain’s got a plan! Har har!
November 14, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr, matey! The clash 'twixt Trump and that landlubber Powell be as plain as a parrot on me shoulder! The captain-elect's got a treasure chest o' legal booty to back him. He best swab the deck and set things right, or we be sinkin’ like a ship in a squall!
November 14, 2024, 4:00 am
Avast, mateys! The President-elect Trump be havin' two treasure maps to fill before the scallywags face the midterm storms! Here be a jolly list o' swift ways to plunder and mend the government’s leaky hull! Yarrr, let the merry fixing commence!
November 13, 2024, 11:11 pm
Arrr, me hearties! The scallywags on the 'Gutfeld!' ship be chortlin' at the newest crew members Trump be settin' sail with! With a hearty laugh, they be ponderin’ if this motley crew can navigate the stormy seas of politics or if they’ll be walkin’ the plank instead!
November 13, 2024, 8:00 am
Arrr, matey! By settlin’ on the grub and grog that tickles every salty sea dog’s fancy, Captain Trump hoisted his flag far and wide, drawin’ in landlubbers of all stripes to join his crew! Aye, he reshaped the map with a hearty laugh and a bellyful of biscuits!
November 13, 2024, 6:00 am
Arrr, matey! Trump be sayin’ he won’t parley with Tehran unless they be haltin’ their shiny uranium makin’, breakin’ up their cannonball factory, and tossin’ their terrorin’ ways overboard! If they don’t, he’ll be sailin’ away faster than a scallywag with a treasure map!
November 13, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr matey! Each day on the high seas of the news, Trump be tossed like a bilge rat, called madder than a scallywag, while Harris be hailed like a fair wind, preachin’ unity like a parrot squawkin’ sweet nothings! A right jolly jest, it be!
November 13, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr, matey! The blue crew be fed up with the lawmen makin' merry with experiments they be callin' "reform," while the scallywags run amok! Confidence be sinkin' like a leaky ship, and crime be raisin' the Jolly Roger high! A topsy-turvy world, indeed!
November 12, 2024, 10:27 pm
Arrr, me hearties! On the deck of 'Gutfeld!', the jolly crew be chortlin' at President-elect Trump’s pick fer the ‘border czar’. Aye, who knew keepin' the seas safe be a matter of appointin’ a landlubber? Let the rum flow and the laughter roll, for this voyage be a riot!
November 12, 2024, 3:31 pm
Ahoy, matey! The New York scallywags be chasin' ol' Trump 'round in circles, like a ship lost in a storm! Forsooth, ‘tis naught a crime to keep a secret deal under me hat if it be as legal as a parrot on me shoulder! Arrr!
November 12, 2024, 9:35 am
Arrr matey! Feast yer peepers on the freshest tales from Fox News Opinion! Set sail with Sean Hannity, Raymond Arroyo, and other scallywags in their jolly moving pictures. Don’t be a landlubber, join the merry crew and fill yer noggin with their raucous ramblings!
November 12, 2024, 9:00 am
Arrr, matey! Though the scallywag Trump be sittin' in the captain's chair, our voyage ain't over yet! A captain's worth be in his crew, and by thunder, I'll keep plunderin' the South Side of Chicago for the good o' the crew! Avast, we sail on!
November 12, 2024, 6:00 am
Arrr, me hearties! The vote be done and the treasure's plundered! An AP scallywag be sayin’ 96% o’ the crew reckon the high cost o’ grog and grub swung their votes. Aye, even pirates can’t ignore a leaky purse!
November 12, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr, matey! The captain-elect Trump be the grandest scallywag to sail back from the depths of defeat! A tale of swashbucklin' and treasure, 'tis a comeback tale for the ages, rivalin' even the finest sea yarns! Hoist the flag, for this be a victory worth toastin’ with rum! 🍻🏴☠️
November 12, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr, those landlubber Democrats be as lost as a ship without a compass! They wouldn’t know a treasure map from a sack of seaweed, I tell ye! Blinded by their own squawking, they be! Aye, a merry crew of confusion they be, sailing in circles 'round a barrel of monkeys!
November 12, 2024, 2:00 am
Arrr, matey! Though the swashbucklin' candidates be the hearties who claim the prize, ‘tis the scallywags—advisers, crew, and loyal deckhands—who be the true treasure, guidin' the ship to victory! Without ‘em, we'd be adrift on the high seas of politics, arrr!
November 11, 2024, 10:40 pm
Arrr, me hearty! The crew on "Gutfeld!" be chortlin’ like scallywags, takin’ a jibe at the ruckus o’ the media’s blarney 'bout the 2024 captaincy! Aye, they be swabbin' the decks with laughter, as the news be more twisted than a kraken’s tentacle! Ha har!
November 11, 2024, 1:34 pm
Avast, me hearties! As the Congress sails back to the heart of the landlubbers, we must ready the Senate to hoist the GOP flag high and let our new captain, President-elect Trump, set sail at full speed! Yo ho!
November 11, 2024, 5:00 am
Arrr! The Democratic crew be takin' the blame fer the grand victory of Captain Trump on Tuesday! They be sailin’ so far from the folks they claim to serve, they’ve lost their compasses! A right jolly mess, I say! Avast, who be steerin' this ship?
November 11, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr, me hearties! On this day o’ veterans, let’s raise a mug fer our brave buccaneers! I be a former Navy SEAL meself, and I reckon a good prayer be like treasure—empowerin’ our mates in arms. Aye, it be a fine act of solidarity! Avast, give ‘em a hearty cheer!
November 11, 2024, 4:00 am
Avast, mateys! Gather 'round and lend an ear to the jolly tales of our brave sea dogs! Take, for instance, the fine lass, Army Lt. Melissa Stockwell, who bravely sailed through battle and left a limb behind in the sands of Iraq! A true treasure of a story, aye!
November 10, 2024, 9:00 am
Arrr, matey! From 2020 to 2023, the scallywags at the CDC be sayin’ TB be jumpin’ like a drunken sailor, up 34%! Western Europe, Scandinavia, and North America be catchin’ the bug too, thanks to a whole shipload o’ newcomers! Avast, we be in a right pickle!
November 10, 2024, 8:06 am
Arrr, me hearties! Columnist David Marcus be sayin’ the election that hoisted Trump back to the captain's chair be simpler than a parrot’s squawk! Give the treasure to the good ol' American crew, not those scallywag influencers and podcastin' bilge rats! Avast, let’s raise the Jolly Roger!
November 10, 2024, 7:00 am
Arrr, me hearties! Gather 'round fer a jolly tale from the high seas of politics! Fer the sake of our fine history, we be sharin' the grandest gems from Captain Trump's speech on that fateful election night. Hoist the sails and prepare to be amused!
November 9, 2024, 9:00 am
Arrr, the likes o' the New York Times be peddlin' tales that the Democrats be tenfold more honest than them scallywag Republicans! Aye, they spin a yarn thicker than a whale's blubber, as if honesty be a treasure only the Democrats be plunderin'! Ha! What a merry jest!
November 9, 2024, 7:00 am
Arrr! Trump's voyage weren't all doom 'n gloom, though that be what the scallywags be squawkin' 'bout! He tossed out a mighty fine query: "Be ye better off now than ye were four tides ago?" Aye, a question fit for a salty sea dog!
November 9, 2024, 6:00 am
Arrr, me hearties! The scallywags in the so-called Fake News be blamin' Trump’s grand victory on racism or sexism, or a mix o' both! But mark me words, history be a crafty wench, and she'll reveal it was naught but another mighty 'ism' at play! Yarrr!
November 8, 2024, 6:15 am
Avast ye mateys! Set yer spyglass on the freshest tales from Fox News Opinion! Feast yer eyes upon the ramblings of Sean Hannity, Raymond Arroyo, and a crew of scallywags! Arrr, ye won't want to miss this jolly good show!
November 8, 2024, 6:00 am
Arrr, the news scallywags be spittin’ fire ‘bout how the Spanish crew be givin’ Trump the wind in his sails! But lo! The captain be savvy, workin’ his charm. The GOP be needin’ to hoist their sails higher and ride this wave, savvy? Aye, it be a jolly good lesson!
November 8, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr, matey! First Lady Melania, savvy as a ship’s captain, be knowin' the weight of the treasure she guards! With a treasure trove o' experience, she be ready to make her mark once more on this vast sea of legacy! Avast, let the winds of change blow fair!
November 8, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr, matey! China be a scallywag, stirrin' trouble in our elections and givin' our mates a good ol’ fashioned bullyin’, all whilst buildin' a mighty fleet! Trump best hoist the sails and ready his cannon to keep the seas calm, lest we all be walkin' the plank!
November 7, 2024, 10:49 pm
Arrr, me hearties! The crew o' the 'Gutfeld!' ship be chortlin' at the night-time jesters' squawkin' about Trump’s triumphant sailin' into the presidential seas come 2024! Blimey, ye'd think the kraken had swallowed their sense o' humor! Avast, what a merry hullabaloo!
November 7, 2024, 1:02 pm
Arrr, matey! Ofri Bibas Levy spins a yarn of woe, as her brother and kin, a wee lad among 'em, be snatched by them scallywags of Hamas on the seventh day of October! Aye, and to add salt to the wound, her sister-in-law's folks met a dread fate that very same day!
November 7, 2024, 12:35 pm
Arrr, me hearties! Despite the squawkin' of landlubber pollsters, the Republicans be sailin' victorious! They've charted a course to plunder future elections, if’n they be heed’n the tides that brought ’em luck. Stick to the treasure map, or ye be walkin’ the plank!
November 7, 2024, 8:06 am
Arrr, matey! Trump’s rise be like findin’ buried treasure, givin’ hope to end the stormy seas of the Supreme Court! With them Democrats losin’ their Senate ship, calm waters be ahead. Aye, let’s hoist the sails and toast to smoother sails, savvy?
November 7, 2024, 8:00 am
Arrr mateys, as we be settin’ sail fer the grand 2024 election, our compass points to one aim: craftin’ a ruckus of a ground game that’d make even Davy Jones take notice, unyieldin’ to tricks or treachery! Avast, let the winds of mobilization blow!
November 7, 2024, 6:00 am
Arrr, me hearties! The grand prize o' Tuesday's shenanigans be the good ol' American folk, sufferin' like scallywags from the wild ways o' Captain Biden and First Mate Harris's wretched treasure map o' economics! Aye, they be steerin’ us right into a stormy sea!
November 7, 2024, 4:00 am
Avast ye! Pardon the landlubbers and their fancy numbers, makin' a grand blowout seem a swig of grog! Rejoice, me hearties, fer the sharper sailor sailed away with the spoils! Yarr, 'tis a merry day!
November 7, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr, Stallone be a master forgesmith of Hollywood legends, a scallywag who conquers all to claim the crown! Yet, lo and behold! No soul sails the seas of grandeur more than that blustery buccaneer, Trump! Blimey, he be a legend in his own mind!
November 6, 2024, 10:36 pm
Arrr, me hearties! The crew o' the 'Gutfeld!' ship be squawkin' like parrots over Trump’s thunderous win in the 2024 election! Aye, the seas be churning with laughter as the captain sails to victory, leaving the opposition in Davy Jones' locker! Hoist the Jolly Roger and pass the rum!
November 6, 2024, 9:00 am
Arrr, me hearties! The scallywags in the Democrat crew be usin’ the courts like a cutlass in a tavern brawl! Voters be shiverin’ in their boots, thinkin’ these landlubbers be turnin’ justice into a jolly ol’ weapon! Avast, what a sight to behold!
November 6, 2024, 8:31 am
Avast ye! Donald Trump be pullin’ a trick so grand, it be like a ghost ship risin’ from Davy Jones’ locker! A political comeback so wondrous, even the seas be laughin’! Arrr, who knew a landlubber could sail back to glory like that, eh?
November 6, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr, I be a scallywag teachin' the fine art of English to landlubbers in the Kansas City seas, findin' meself caught in the tempest o' DEI, gender shenanigans, pronoun parley, and identity swappin’. Aye, it be a right jolly hullabaloo, matey!
November 6, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr, matey! Them voting rules be keepin' our fair republic afloat, not scuttlin' her hull! 'Tis like a fine ship’s compass—guidin' us true, lest we sail into Davy Jones' locker! So hoist the sails, we be sharin' the treasure of democracy, savvy?
November 6, 2024, 2:35 am
Arrr, matey! 'Tis likely ol' Trump be the lone swab from the Republican crew who coulda snagged this treasure! For he be the only scallywag who could parley with the working folk feelin' cast adrift by them Democratic buccaneers! Aye, a right jolly jest, that!
November 6, 2024, 1:57 am
Arrr, matey! That old sea dog, Trump, sailed the seas of strength, claimin’ to make America shine brighter than a treasure chest! But the landlubber scribes of legacy media be too dull to reckon with the might of his grand vision, aye!
November 5, 2024, 3:25 pm
As this here election be comin’ to a close, many a landlubber feelin’ miscast and bewildered! A grand 74% of our fine crew reckon we be sailin’ in the wrong waters! Blimey, that be a mighty fine tangle, matey!
November 5, 2024, 12:03 pm
Arrr, matey! Just as the landlubbers can't stop the sea dogs of the DOJ from nosin' about, the crown's crew ain’t got a leg to stand on interferin' with how the states run their election shindigs. A fine mess of mischief, I say!
November 5, 2024, 11:21 am
Avast, me hearties! Set yer sights on the freshest tales from Fox News Opinion! Hoist the sails and feast yer eyes on the moving pictures of Sean Hannity, Raymond Arroyo, and a merry crew! Yarrr, it be a treasure trove of jests and jibs!
November 5, 2024, 9:12 am
Avast, matey! By swabbin' the decks with a bit o' exercise, keepin' yer digital parrot in check, and chuggin' on some herbal brews, ye can sail through the stormy seas o' life with a jolly heart and a peaceful noggin! Arrr!
November 5, 2024, 9:00 am
Arrr, me hearty! I be lovin' ye for bein' the grand harbor of second chances! Aye, ye be the isle where blunders and storms be mere stepping stones. I still have faith in ye, America, with a heart full o' hope and a belly full o' rum!
November 5, 2024, 5:00 am
Arrr, as the Day of Votes be upon us, lend yer ear to the jolly changes afoot in the Republican crew! They be stirrin' the pot, and I reckon it bodes a wild future for our scallywag politics. Hoist the sails, me hearties!
November 5, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr matey! In the year of our Lord 2020, a fine crew of 89 million lasses be ready to cast their ballots, while only 79.3 million scallywag lads be raisin’ their hands. Aye, since the 1980s, the fair wenches be out-votin’ the blokes like it be a treasure hunt!
November 5, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr, what matter if the skies be drizzly or yer nose be runnin’ like a leaky ship? Hoist yer sails and brave the tempest, matey! Cast yer vote, lest ye be walkin’ the plank of regret! Aye, swab the deck and make yer voice heard!
November 4, 2024, 10:39 pm
Arrr, me hearties! The crew o' "Gutfeld!" be shiverin' their timbers over the passing of ol' Peanut the Squirrel! They be wailin' like a bunch o' scurvy dogs, claimin' the furry rascal be the finest nut-chaser to ever roam the seven seas! Aye, what a way to go!
November 4, 2024, 11:17 am
Arrr, matey! Columnist David Marcus be claimin’ that Lorne Michaels, the scallywag behind Saturday Night Live, has tarnished his good name by breakin’ the sacred rules o’ the sea—err, I mean, broadcasting—to give Kamala Harris a cheeky boost! A right ruckus, it be!
November 4, 2024, 10:31 am
Arrr, I’ve sailed the seven seas o’ toil fer Ohio's honor and the noble Dignity o’ Work! Aye, every scallywag deserves their treasure fer hard labor, be ye from the landlubber plains or the highest crow's nest! Fair winds and gold doubloons for all, I say!
November 4, 2024, 6:00 am
Arrr, me hearties! The landlubbers o' America be spyin' on them so-called neutral scribes callin' Trump a "fascist"! And they be laughin' as the rich scallywags act like inflation be naught but a ghost ship! Aye, the jesters be blind to the storm brewin' on the horizon!
November 4, 2024, 5:00 am
Arrr! When either Trump or Harris takes the stage o' victory, their blabberin' will be the song of the seas fer many moons to come, savvy? Aye, we be in fer a rollickin' ride on the tempestuous waves o' politics, me hearties!
November 4, 2024, 4:00 am
Ahoy mateys! As the election tide be risin', ten troublesome queries be settin’ the scallywags of the Democrat crew a-quakin’. Top o’ the list be the curious capers o' Kamala and Joe—what mischief be they up to, I wonder? Arrr, the seas be gettin' rough!
November 3, 2024, 12:46 pm
Avast, mateys! Law wizard and Fox News swab, Jonathan Turley be ponderin’ why we be stuck in this tempest of “rage politics.” He be wonderin’ why we can't spy our true selves through the eyes of his trusty cabby, instead of fightin’ like scallywags! Arrr!
November 3, 2024, 9:00 am
Arrr, years past, the good ol' U.S. of A. be waitin' fer a hero, and lo, Ronald Reagan appeared! A tale of his life be adored by landlubbers but scorned by the critics. Let me spin ye the yarn of this curious turn o' events, me hearties!
November 3, 2024, 8:35 am
Arrr, mateys! Columnist David Marcus spins a yarn 'bout the ruckus of the presidential seas, settin’ his sights on five wild happenings that be steer’n the ship of Tuesday’s election! Aye, chaos be the name o’ the game on this tumultuous voyage!
November 3, 2024, 7:00 am
Arrr, matey! After the 5th o' November, fear not! For the faithful, 'tis but a repeat o' the 4th! Keep yer prayers high, spread yer love, and trust like a true buccaneer! Here be the map to sail through stormy seas to a calm harbor of hope and peace!
November 2, 2024, 7:03 pm
Avast ye! Best-sellin' scribbler and once a landlubber scribe o' the New York Times, Alex Berenson, be throwin' his lot in with Captain Trump for Tuesday's ruckus! He spills the beans on how he be makin' a choice that’d make a sea dog chuckle! Arrr!
November 2, 2024, 11:34 am
Arrr, matey! I've weathered the storms o' toil like many a scallywag in Nevada! Toilin' 'til me bones ache, seein' me doubloons vanish like smoke, and feelin' the American Dream sail away on the horizon. Aye, 'tis a treacherous sea we navigate, indeed!
November 2, 2024, 10:24 am
Arrr, I shan't be frettin' over what side o' the plank an idea hails from, nor waitin' fer me captain's orders on what treasure I can hoist! I'll sail me own course and support what tickles me fancy, savvy?
November 2, 2024, 10:00 am
Avast, me hearties! A scallywag survey be lettin' loose that 80% of landlubbers reckon words be cutlasses too! Aye, they claim that chatter can do ye harm, like a cannonball to the noggin! Blimey, what be next? Speakin’ softly be wearin’ armor? Arrr!
November 2, 2024, 6:00 am
Arrr, Election Day be the grand spectacle o' whether the scallywags be sailin' smooth or takin' a dive! For the Democrats, it be a time to toast to Kamala Harris or to rummage through the old treasure chest o' blunders! Aye, 'tis a jolly mess!
November 1, 2024, 11:23 am
Arrr, matey! Puerto Rico be swimmin' in a sea o' mess left by them Democrat captains. Kamala Harris be just another scallywag in the same ol' ship! But fear not, for Donald Trump hoisted the sails and tossed over $40 billion in doubloons to save the day! Aye!
November 1, 2024, 11:16 am
Avast, matey! In me travels 'cross this great land, I be comin' upon two kinds o' landlubbers—both say they be waitin' 'til the final hour to drop their treasures into the ballot box. Aye, 'tis a fine way to sail the seas of democracy, eh? Arrr!
November 1, 2024, 10:17 am
Arrr! When her party crowned her as their chosen matey, Vice President Kamala Harris found herself in a pickle, tryin' to charm the scallywags and prove she be the harbinger of change! Aye, ‘twas a quest fit for a true sea dog!
November 1, 2024, 8:00 am
Arrr, matey! FDR’s Lend-Lease be a right treasure chest fer our pals, tossin' ‘em supplies like a generous sea captain! It be showin’ the world we ain't afraid o’ no scallywags tryin’ to cut off our plunder from Europe, lest they find themselves walkin’ the plank!
November 1, 2024, 5:00 am
Arrr, matey! I’ve sailed the seas o’ the American dream! Came ashore at five, earned me papers, and hoisted me sails to riches. But now, I fear the ship be takin' on water! So, I be tossin’ me hat in the ring for the Senate, savvy?
November 1, 2024, 5:00 am
Ahoy, mateys! I be Bob Casey, proud captain o’ the Pennsylvanian seas, defendin' me good folk from the scallywags o' corporate greed! I be battlin' for the hearty crew o' workin' families, for we shan't let the greedy bilge rats plunder our treasure! Arrr!
November 1, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr, matey! The election be nigh, yet three pesky barnacles be draggin' down Kamala Harris's ship! I know it well, for I sailed the seas as an ambassador for the Trump crew. Aye, the winds be not favorin' her!
October 31, 2024, 9:06 am
Arrr, I couldna be loungin' like a barnacle on the sideline no more! I be itchin' to sail to Washington, takin' on the troubles o' the realm, fer we’ve a heap o' mess to fix, me hearty! Let’s hoist the sails and plunder some solutions!
October 31, 2024, 8:00 am
Arrr matey, we be stuck in this ruckus, for the treasure be grand! Though the scallywags spread their tall tales, come Election Day, the map be clearer than a siren's song! We sail on, ready to plunder the truth!
October 31, 2024, 6:00 am
Arrr, matey! The Democrats be launchin' a cunning raid on our grand two-party ship, plunderin' policies that’ll sink our treasure chests, tarnish our fine name, and leave our families in a right pickle! Avast, we be needin' to batten down the hatches, or we'll be walkin' the plank!
October 31, 2024, 5:00 am
Arrr, mateys! We be sailin' through stormy seas as a nation and state, but with crew workin' in unison and a sturdy captain in Washington, we’ll hoist the sails and chart a course to get America back on the right tide! Avast, let’s set forth!
October 31, 2024, 5:00 am
Arrr, me hearties! The fair Montana we cherish be hangin' by a thread! I be battlin' like a scallywag to keep it safe from the clutches of misfortune! Avast, let’s hoist the Jolly Roger and save our beloved land from Davy Jones’ locker!
October 31, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr, be Joe Biden settin' sail fer a Kamala Harris shipwreck, ye say? Aye, it be lookin' like he's chartin' a course fer a lost treasure, blowin' the winds of mischief! Avast, what a merry jape on the high seas of politics!
October 31, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr, matey! Both Trumpin’ and Kamala be chasin’ the crown, but it ain't no simple sailin’! Trump best be plottin’ a devious surprise for the lady o' the vice, or he’ll be walkin’ the plank instead o’ claimin’ the throne! Har har!
October 30, 2024, 3:23 pm
Arrr, me hearties! On the night o' Tuesday, Captain Kamala be shoutin' loud 'bout how her ship sails different from Old Joe's! But blow me down, she's had a tough time chartin' that course before! Aye, 'tis a jolly pickle she finds herself in!
October 30, 2024, 3:22 pm
Arrr, matey! Bezos be spoutin’ that endorsements be poisonin’ the well o’ neutrality! He be seein’ the Post sinkin’ like a ship with holes, its gold doubloons and readers vanishin’ faster than rum on a thirsty crew! Aye, bias be sinkin’ her ship!
October 30, 2024, 12:00 pm
Arrr, Hajit Chen be a-sobbing fer her lost lad, along with all them poor souls what Hamas snatched or sent to Davy Jones’ locker on the fateful 7th of October. Aye, it be a right tragic tale, fit for a tale o' the high seas!
October 30, 2024, 11:57 am
Arrr, me hearties! Biden and Harris be claimin’ the high ground of decency and civility, but when they be slippin’ from that fine image, it be smellin’ like a bilge rat’s hypocrisy! Hoist the sails of truth, or walk the plank, ye scallywags!
October 30, 2024, 10:04 am
Arrr, matey! Columnist David Marcus be ponderin' if ol' Captain Biden’s blunders that be makin' the fair Kamala stumble were naught but a stroke o' luck or a cunning trick! Aye, the seas of politics be murky, filled with jest and japes!
October 30, 2024, 5:00 am
Arrr, I be a top-ranking sea dog among the landlubbers, known for keepin' the sails of bipartisanship high! I’ve shunned the scallywags of partisanship and told the greedy sea monsters to walk the plank, all fer the good folk of Nevada! Avast, let's hoist the flag of progress!
October 30, 2024, 5:00 am
Ahoy, me hearties! I'm a scallywag from the land o' Penn's folks, seven generations deep! A landlubber turned seafaring senator, I be a rogue in politics and a trader in gold! I learned me code of 'Duty, Honor, and Country' aboard the king’s ship! Arrr!
October 30, 2024, 5:00 am
Arrr, mateys! America be needin’ fresh captains who ken the ways of service, sacrifice, and keepin’ their word! If we don’t steer this ship true, we be sinkin’ faster than a barrel o’ grog in a storm! Avast, let’s hoist the sails and save our dear land!
October 30, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr, me hearties! This November, every scallywag will cast their lot fer a captain to steer our health ship! I be urging ye to hoist yer sails fer Kamala Harris, the fierce defender of reproductive treasure! Vote wisely or ye might end up in Davy Jones' locker! Avast!
October 29, 2024, 12:08 pm
Arrr, matey! The young scallywags of Gen Z be shackled by the madness of wokeism all their days, yet now they be laughin’ in its face! Aye, they be ready to hoist the Jolly Roger for Donald Trump to reign again in the White House! What a ruckus!
October 29, 2024, 12:06 pm
Avast, me hearties! Set yer spyglasses on the freshest tales from Fox News Opinion! And don’t ye dare miss the merry shows of Captain Sean Hannity, lass Laura Ingraham, and matey Raymond Arroyo! Aye, it be a treasure trove of jests and jabs! Arrr!
October 29, 2024, 9:00 am
Arrr, me hearties! Many a landlubber be askin', “Why do them Democrats yap on ‘bout helpin' us, yet we be sinkin' deeper in Davy Jones’ locker?” I say, what be better since their wee days, eh? Aye, the sea be murky, but their words be even murkier!
October 29, 2024, 6:00 am
Arrr, Kamala be dancin' a jig to please them Arab mates in Michigan, but beware! The treasure of Jewish votes in Pennsylvania might just set sail for Trump’s ship instead! Aye, the seas be treacherous when ye be tryin' to please all hands on deck!
October 29, 2024, 5:00 am
Arrr! When I first set me sails for the Senate, I vowed not to be naught but a squawkin' parrot on the telly! I buried me noggin in the toil, and by me cutlass, I’ve brought treasure to Nebraska, savvy?
October 29, 2024, 5:00 am
Arrr, me hearties of Wisconsin! Ye be needin' a scallywag in yer corner—one who knows yer ways, befriendin' all, and can parley with both landlubber factions! Let's sail the seas o' governance and find treasure for yer lives, savvy?
October 29, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr, me hearties! Iran thought to take a mighty swing at Israel twice, but alas, they’ve faced Davy Jones’ locker! Israel's F-35s swooped in like seagulls on a fish feast, teachin' 'em who rules the roost in the Mideast! Aye, lesson learned, ye scallywags!
October 29, 2024, 4:00 am
Ahoy, matey! The scallywags at the Post and Times have spun yarns 'bout Trump bein' the devil himself! Yet, even the landlubbers who fill their coffers be naught convinced! Arrr, what a jolly jest it be!
October 28, 2024, 4:43 pm
Avast, matey! What me peepers beheld and me ears did catch at yon Trump rally be naught like what the landlubber scribes be spoutin’! Aye, 'twas a hullabaloo far different from their tales! Arrr, I promise ye, 'tis a jest worthy of Davy Jones himself!
October 28, 2024, 2:47 pm
Arrr, me hearties! The squabble ‘bout the Washington Post not throwin’ its hat in the presidential ring might just be a boon fer journalism! As a former press secretary, I be raisin’ me tankard to Bezos’ cheeky choice! Aye, let the ink flow and the tales unfold!
October 28, 2024, 6:00 am
Arrr matey! Michigan be the mighty treasure in America’s election seas, always holdin’ the map to victory. As we sail closer to Election Day, its worth be as clear as a parrot's squawk! Aye, 'tis a land where votes be the gold doubloons!
October 28, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr, mateys! California be sinkin' like a ship with a hole, drownin' in the woes of scallywags and their vices! Proposition 36 be but a wee band-aid on a cannonball wound. We be needin' savvy schemes to set sail towards brighter shores! Avast, let’s chart a better course!
October 28, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr, matey! Donald Trump be fretin' over the brave sea dogs and ol' salts who fought for our fair lands. As a scarred warrior meself, I’ve felt his heart warmer than a rum barrel on a cold night! Aye, he cares, like a parrot loves a shoulder!
October 27, 2024, 3:45 pm
Arrr, matey! Laura Ingraham be spoutin' that Donald Trump's grand shindig at Madison Square Garden be stirrin' the spirits of them ol' scallywags FDR and Reagan. Aye, it be a jolly ol' populist hootenanny, like a pirate's feast on the high seas!
October 27, 2024, 9:00 am
Arrr, in the tail end of September, the Harris crew did parley with a jolly matey, Jen Psaki, once the voice for Captain Biden. And who be the guest on this raucous voyage? Why, none other than Doug Emhoff, the second gent of the ship! Avast, what a merry gathering!
October 27, 2024, 8:00 am
Arrr, when I and me mateys sailed into western North Carolina, we be taken aback! The scallywags who landed afore us weren’t sportin’ sturdy boots, but flimsy sandals, like landlubbers on a sunny shore! Avast, what a sight to behold! A crew of buccaneers in flip-flops!
October 27, 2024, 7:00 am
Arrr, me hearties! Me old man, Sen. Joe Lieberman, sailed the seas o' belief, tryin' t’ matey up them scallywags in D.C. He bid us adieu with a hearty toast t' courage, civility, and the art o' makin' nice. Aye, what a jolly ol' captain he be!
October 26, 2024, 9:18 am
Arrr, legal swashbuckler Jonathan Turley be raisin' a ruckus o' joy, givin' a hearty clap to the Washington Post! They be shunnin' the winds of candidate endorsement fer the 2024 treasure hunt! Aye, 'tis the fair objectivity he be hollerin' for since the days of yore!
October 26, 2024, 9:00 am
Arrr, me hearties! A scallywag of a presidential candidate be tossin' democracy overboard, givin' the Constitution a good thrashin'! A menace to the good ol' U.S. of A., he be stirrin' the pot fer a civil war, like a barnacle on a ship's hull! Avast!
October 26, 2024, 8:40 am
Arrr, matey! Columnist David Marcus sails into Biden’s port, only to find the Democrats, gathered for a Tim Walz shindig, whisperin' fears ‘bout ol' Kamala Harris. Aye, the winds of doubt be blowin' strong in this here harbor! Shiver me timbers, what a ruckus!
October 26, 2024, 7:00 am
Arrr matey! Had we known back in 2014 that elections be draggin' on like a slow tide, with landlubbers droppin' their votes like doubloons before the big day, we’d have laughed till we fell overboard! But that be just the tip o' the iceberg, savvy?
October 25, 2024, 9:38 am
Arrr, a year past when the landlubbers went bonkers ‘gainst Speaker Johnson, the House buccaneers ought to tip their hats to his mighty backbone, steady helm, and cunning wit! He be a true captain in these stormy seas of politics, savvy? Har har!
October 25, 2024, 8:06 am
Arrr, matey! The New York Post be settin' sail fer Trump in the 2024 election, claimin’ voters be choosin’ between two jolly different seas ahead! Will ye hoist the sails with the former captain or wander into uncharted waters? Avast, the treasure awaits!
October 25, 2024, 8:00 am
Arrr, matey! Ohio be under siege from foreign doubloons, aye! Those scallywags be tryin’ to twist the map to hoist the Democrat flag high! They be wantin’ to turn our fair land into a permanent parley for the left! A jolly good ruckus, if ye ask me!
October 25, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr, matey! This election, energy be the treasure on the ballot, yet Vice President Kamala be fumblin’ like a landlubber! From oil barons to Green Deal scallywags, all be left scratchin' their noggins in a right jumbled mess! Avast, what be she thinkin’?
October 25, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr, mateys! Our lassies o' the volleyball crew be faced with a tempestuous choice, riskin' the grand treasure o' the championship! A tough sea to navigate, but fer many a heart, 'twas the only ship to sail! Avast, we be settin’ our sails regardless!
October 24, 2024, 12:07 pm
Arrr, V.P. Kamala be claimin' that Captain Trump be a self-serving scallywag! But savvy voters spot the truth: 'tis she who be more fixated on the ol' sea dog than a parrot on a pirate's shoulder! Har har!
October 24, 2024, 6:00 am
Arrr matey, the race fer the captain’s chair be as tight as a ship’s hold! Yet, signs be pointin’ that Trump be sailin’ smoother than in the years past, like a fine rum on a calm sea! Aye, keep yer spyglass handy!
October 24, 2024, 5:00 am
Arrr matey! As the fateful day o’ reckonin’ draws nigh, one truth be clear as the Caribbean sea—on November 5th, or thereabouts, either that scallywag Kamala or the blustery Donald shall hoist the jolly roger of victory in this grand presidential tussle! Yarrr!
October 24, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr, matey! McDonald's yarn be tellin' us that whatever Captain Harris blabs, be taken as the holy word! And any scallywag who dares to jabber against her be thought a knave or a landlubber! A right ruckus, I say! Savvy?
October 23, 2024, 10:38 pm
Arrr, matey! The crew o’ the 'Gutfeld!' ship be chortlin' as they hear tell o’ the Vice President’s scribblin’ mishaps! Plagiarism? Aye, she be borrowin’ words like a scallywag swipes rum! Hoist the sails and let the laughter roll upon the briny deep!
October 23, 2024, 1:02 pm
Avast, me hearties! I've been scuttlin' 'round the shores, and I be tellin' ye, no matter what the scallywag polls be spoutin’, ol' Trump’s got the wind in his sails in Pennsylvania! I ain't sayin' it be all wrapped up, but this be more than just a fair breeze!
October 23, 2024, 6:00 am
Arrr! Kamala Harris, that landlubber, knew naught of the treasure trove called the economy when she set sail fer the Senate in the fair waters of California! She still be adrift, thinkin’ the government be the captain of all ships, makin’ rules like a scallywag! Har har!
October 23, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr, matey! In this year of electin’, who be callin’ a captain “obsessed” fer battlin’ the stormy seas of gold, wages, and treasure chests emptyin’? Inflation be a scallywag, and we need a fierce buccaneer to plunder those pesky deficits! Let’s hoist the flag o’ fiscal savvy!
October 23, 2024, 4:00 am
Ahoy, mateys! 'Tis a bitter pill to swallow, but our gold doubloons for the Navy be as mismatched as a landlubber on the high seas! Our coffers be not alignin' with the krakens and scallywags lurkin' about. Aye, we need to chart a new course, or we be fish bait!
October 22, 2024, 10:37 pm
Arrr! Fox News scallywags Greg Gutfeld and his hearty crew be chattin' about Vice President Kamala Harris’s town hall with that landlubber Liz Cheney in the wilds of Michigan! Aye, ‘tis a right spectacle, like a two-headed parrot squawkin’ at a wooden leg!
October 22, 2024, 12:31 pm
Arrr, me hearties! Set yer spyglass on the freshest tales from Fox News, where ol’ Sean Hannity and Raymond Arroyo be spinnin' yarns! Hoist the sails and prepare for a jolly good watchin', or ye might end up walkin' the plank o' ignorance!
October 22, 2024, 9:00 am
Arrr, me hearty! Just heard ol’ Captain Obama be tellin’ the Black lads to hoist their sails and cast their votes for the fair VP Kamala. If the captain can’t spy us as unique souls, it be showin’ what he truly thinks o’ our crew! Avast!
October 22, 2024, 6:00 am
Arrr matey! The crafty scallywags at Mossad be havin’ a treasure trove o’ clever contraptions, from shiny gizmos to sneaky ruses, all to track down foes and make 'em walk the plank of justice! Aye, they be the true buccaneers of the shadows!
October 22, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr, matey! In the wild seas of politics, three jolly reasons be why Trump be plunderin' the immigration treasure while steerin' his ship against the fair Vice President Kamala Harris. 'Tis a ruckus fit for scallywags and landlubbers alike! Avast, me hearties, the campaign be afoot!
October 22, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr, matey! Captain Mitch McConnell and First Mate Steve Daines be sailin’ the Republican seas like true buccaneers, gatherin’ a fine crew for the grand adventure of 2024! Aye, their recruiting be as sharp as a cutlass and just as jolly! Avast, let the treasure hunt begin!
October 21, 2024, 12:34 pm
Arrr, matey! If ye reckon that Sunday’s McDonald’s shindig weren’t a jolly feast fer Team Trump, cast thine eyes on the trinket within! A fine action figure of the liberal scallywags, hair ablaze like a ship in full sail! A right merry jest, it be!
October 21, 2024, 8:00 am
Arrr, matey! Sean ‘Diddy’ Combs be keepin' his ‘Bad Boy’ title, but at a price! He’s caught up in a storm o’ legal troubles, from piracy to pilferin'. If the judge be findin' him guilty, he might be swabbin' the decks for life! Har har har!
October 21, 2024, 6:00 am
Arrr, while landlubbers be jabberin' 'bout the captain's chair, the true treasure be hid in the Pacific Northwest! Aye, close battles in the House might be givin' the scallywags of the GOP two more treasures to plunder! Avast, the seas be gettin' stormy!
October 21, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr, Kamala be claimin’ to speak fer Black America, but her and Cap’n Barack be as distant as landlubbers! They don’t know the plight o’ Black men, fussin’ over education and coin, while they be sippin’ rum on their gilded ships! Har har, what a merry crew!
October 21, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr, me hearties! America be needin' to hoist the sails of its own policies, lest it be swallowed by the briny deep! We best be changin' our course, or this grand ship of state might just sink under the weight of foreign shenanigans! Avast!
October 20, 2024, 9:03 am
Arrr, matey! David Marcus be throwin' a whole barrel o' doubt on the Harris crew claimin' Trump be losin' his wits. The savvy voters, they be knowin' the scallywag, and they ain't fallin' for that bilge! Har har har!
October 20, 2024, 9:00 am
Arrr, me hearties! As I be wanderin' through me own treasure trove of woes, it dawned on me: when we be ponderin' a grander life with the Almighty, we be forgettin’ to count our sufferin’ like scallywags avoidin’ a kraken! Aye, we prefer the gold over the grit!
October 20, 2024, 7:00 am
Arrr, matey! The storied feast of Sukkot be settin’ sail on Wednesday eve, a jolly cure fer the woes of lonely hearts, gloomy minds, and treasure-hungry souls. So grab yer grog and join the merry crew—let’s celebrate under the stars, not just countin’ doubloons!
October 20, 2024, 6:14 am
Arrr, matey! It be said that Mark Halperin, the wise sea dog of politics, claims the spark that lit Kamala Harris's sails be now but a puff o' wind! Now, she be a ship with barnacles, and the crew ain’t keen to hoist her flag!
October 19, 2024, 9:00 am
Arrr, me hearties! When the Grim Reaper be taxin’ ye treasure so high, the old sea dogs be splurgin’ like mad! They be tossin’ gold about, so when Davy Jones comes callin’, there be naught but a empty chest for the taxman! Savvy?
October 19, 2024, 7:00 am
Arrr, a motley crew of bubble-bound scallywags, fury-filled lasses, and dandy gents from the warship of culture be tellin’ us how a true matey ought to swagger! Aye, ’tis a right jolly jest, indeed!
October 18, 2024, 1:36 pm
Arrr, me hearties! Kamala Harris stirred the pot by dodgin' a Catholic shindig, causin' quite the ruckus! The last scallywag to make such a blunder was ol' Walter Mondale—aye, that be four decades past! Methinks she be walkin' a plank of trouble!
October 18, 2024, 8:45 am
Arrr, matey! David Marcus be sayin’ that Kamala Harris be sailin’ a lost ship, backin’ lads claimin’ they be lasses in the sportin’ arena. But alas, she be stuck to her course like barnacles on a hull! Aye, a right jolly mess, that be!
October 18, 2024, 6:00 am
Arrr, matey! By the ticking of the National Debt Clock, we be payin' more doubloons fer our borrowed loot than we do fer keepin' our shores safe! Aye, 'tis a fine mess we’ve sailed into, spendin' treasure to guard treasure! Har har har!
October 18, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr, matey! From coin to crops, the ol' Captain Trump’s rules be shiverin' the timbers of taxes, helpin' us scallywags raise grub for the seven seas! We be makin' a fine living feedin' the world, all while laughin' at the sharks! Yarrr!
October 18, 2024, 4:00 am
Ahoy, mateys! Atlanta be the port of the venerable Ebenezer Church, a treasure of civil rights! But alas, the scallywag liberal leaders turned their backs, and both the folk of color and the fair city be sufferin’ like a shipwrecked crew! Arrr, what a tale of treachery!
October 17, 2024, 10:27 pm
Arrr, matey! The scallywags on the 'Gutfeld!' deck be in a right uproar, claimin' the FBI be shiverin' their timbers with "fudged" crime tallies! Blimey, it’s like countin’ treasure with a blind parrot! Aye, let the jestin' begin, or we'll be walkin' the plank!
October 17, 2024, 8:00 am
Arrr, me hearties! Aye, ‘tis said 22 million scallywags be findin’ an easy path to Medicaid, all thanks to the Biden-Harris crew! If that landlubber Kamala be takin’ the helm in November, we be in for a stormy sea o’ trouble! Savvy?
October 17, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr, me hearties! Kamala Harris be spoutin’ her same ol’ yarns like a parrot with a sore throat! And what be the Arab American crew sayin’? They be scratchin’ their heads, wonderin’ if she’s lost at sea, or just throwin’ a grand ol’ party without ‘em! Ha!
October 16, 2024, 11:11 pm
Arrr! In a raucous tavern, the scallywags of Fox News be chattin' 'bout how the brave border patrol lads be threatenin' to set sail fer foreign shores if that landlubber Kamala Harris be claimin' the crown! Aye, 'tis a merry jest on the high seas o' politics!
October 16, 2024, 8:00 am
Avast, me hearties! On the seventh day of December in the year of our lord 2023, a mighty swarm o' drones, as long as a great sea serpent, took to the night skies 'bove the Air Combat Command, givin' the F-22 Raptors a real fright! Arrr!
October 16, 2024, 6:00 am
Arrr matey! Opioids be plunderin’ the good ol’ U.S. of A, claimin' over 80,000 souls each year! The government’s “harm reduction” be naught but a scallywag’s tale. We be needin’ a fresh plan, or we’ll all be walkin’ the plank! Aye, let’s chart a new course!
October 16, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr, Harris be as twisty as a kraken's tentacle, a riddle swaddled in mystery, like ol' Winston might say! But fret not, mateys! There be a crew out there who ain’t bamboozled by her cunning ways and schemes! Aye, they know the score!
October 16, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr, matey! Trump be havin' the Teamsters so bewitched they be sittin' this one out! But the hearty crew know well how the ol' captain stood by 'em in his first voyage. Aye, they be loyal to the end, even if the parley be a bit wobbly!
October 16, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr, mateys! When the Senate be pickin’ a new captain o’ the GOP ship, they be settlin’ how to sail the seas of law. Will they hoist the Jolly Roger high for another Trump voyage, or scuttle the ship ‘fore it ever sets sail? Har har!
October 15, 2024, 10:26 pm
Arrr, ye scallywags! The crafty crew o’ Gutfeld be a-chortlin’ as the California Coastal Commission tossed SpaceX's hopes o' sendin’ more cannonballs to the stars from Vandenberg! Seems the sea of red tape be thicker than Davy Jones' beard! Avast, back to the drawing board, ye skyward dreamers!
October 15, 2024, 10:14 am
Avast, ye scallywags! Feast yer eyes on the freshest tales from the Fox News treasure chest! Set sail on a merry voyage with Sean Hannity and Raymond Arroyo, and let the jests and jigs abound! Arrr, don’t let the wind blow ye away from the fun!
October 15, 2024, 9:00 am
Arrr, matey! I be a humble preacher on the South Side o' Chicago, where we be loungin’ like lazy sea dogs, hopin' the crown or some fancy institutions will whip up grand changes fer us! Aye, we be waitin' fer a miracle, but we ain't liftin' a finger!
October 15, 2024, 6:00 am
Arrr, matey! Hollywood's been abuzz with scandalous tales, like the fine producer David Pearce, a scallywag accused of 11 heinous deeds—rape and murder, no less! Shiver me timbers, what a hullabaloo! The courts be hotter than a pot o’ stew on a sweltering day!
October 15, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr, matey! ‘Tis a right marvel that Kamala Harris be still a mystery wrapped in an enigma after all this time! And blimey! She shivers like a landlubber in a storm at the thought of the spotlight! Aye, what a sight to behold!
October 15, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr, these scallywags be swimmin' in gold so deep, they can flaunt their fine morals without a care, supportin' laws that toss the less fortunate into the briny deep! Aye, t’ain’t hard for them to show off their virtue while the rest be walkin' the plank o’ hardship!
October 15, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr, on the Sunday after a week o’ misfortune in her grand quest, Vice President Harris be settin’ sail fer the holy ship o’ worship! Aye, she be hopin’ the good Lord might sprinkle some election magic on her campaign, savvy?
October 14, 2024, 10:28 pm
Arrr, me hearties! The crew o' Gutfeld be laughin' like scallywags as the Democrats be throwin' nets to catch the blokes! Aye, they be tryin' harder than a landlubber chasin' a mermaid! Savvy?
October 14, 2024, 8:00 am
Arrr, when the Hunter Biden treasure map hit the shores in October of 2020, thanks to the New York Post's scallywag scribblin', it be tossed right into the sea o' Russian tall tales—an elaborate yarn spun by the most mischievous of sea serpents!
October 14, 2024, 6:00 am
Arrr! This week, ol' Vladimir, the czar o' the frozen seas, be clockin' 72 years! Now he’s ponderin' his legacy, the scallywags in Ukraine, who’ll hoist the Jolly Roger after him, and what treasure his kin'll be claimin'! Aye, what a merry pickle he be in!
October 14, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr, matey! The clamor 'round celebrity musings be as ancient as the barnacles on me ship! From now 'til the day o' reckonin', ye'll be drownin' in tales of bold stars crowin' their love for Harris and the like. Aye, what a merry spectacle it be!
October 14, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr! This Monday be the fourth year o' the grandest fib the Biden-Harris crew spun: claimin' that young Master Hunter's magic box o' secrets be naught but a figment! Avast, me hearties, the truth be as slippery as a fish on deck!
October 13, 2024, 9:00 am
Arrr, matey! Figurin’ the doubloons ye need fer yer golden years be a right tricky business! It all hinges on yer health, where ye dock yer ship, the cost o’ grog, the pesky inflation, and how ye choose to live yer life o’ plunder! Yarrr!
October 13, 2024, 7:00 am
Arrr, matey! Once, ye American seafarers waved a passport so fine it shone like treasure! But the Biden-Harris crew be sinkin' that ship and leavin' our mates in peril. Aye, where be the rescue for them held fast by scallywags? Blimey, what a jolly mess!
October 12, 2024, 9:00 am
Arrr matey! In the jolly seas of American politics, a tricksy tale or a sudden squall that be swayin' the winds of a presidential race be call'd an "October Surprise." A right mischievous jest, if ye ask me! Savvy?
October 12, 2024, 8:55 am
Ahoy, mateys! Captain David Marcus spills the beans on why the fair Kamala be flounderin' in her 2024 sails, while ol' Trump be hoistin' his Jolly Roger once more. With a hearty laugh, he shares five cheeky tales of political mischief! Arrr!
October 12, 2024, 7:00 am
Arrr, ye landlubbers! Those scallywag economists be blabberin’ 'bout the American Dream bein’ like a ship lost at sea! They say fewer scallywags be out-earnin’ their old sea dogs these days, makin’ the dream seem as lost as a treasure map in a stormy gale!
October 11, 2024, 3:08 pm
Arrr, matey! Pennsylvania be known fer pickin' the captains o' our grand ship of state! The fine folks o' the Keystone State be serious as a parrot in a storm when it comes to their duties—no scallywags here, savvy?
October 11, 2024, 6:00 am
Arrr, in the grand game o' politics, the scallywags be twistin' their tales to snatch up votes! But lo and behold, our matey VP Kamala Harris seems to have spun a whole fantastical creature from thin air! Aye, that’s a right jolly trick!
October 11, 2024, 4:46 am
Arrr, matey! Liora Rez, the bold captain o' StopAntisemitism, be spoutin' that a scallywag 1,500% surge in nasty anti-Jewish shenanigans be a dark omen from the history books! Avast, me hearties, we be needin' to swab the decks o' hate and hoist the sails o' unity!
October 11, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr, matey! The grand duel 'twixt that scallywag Trump and the fair lass Harris be as close as two ships in a storm, with but a month 'til the fateful day! But hold yer horses, let's plunder deeper into these murky waters!
October 10, 2024, 10:34 pm
Arrr, matey! The scallywags on 'Gutfeld' be chortlin' at Vice President Harris chattin' with that ol' seadog Howard Stern. Aye, they be likin' it as much as a landlubber enjoys a saltwater bath! Ho ho! The jests be flyin' like cannonballs in a squall!
October 10, 2024, 8:00 am
Avast ye! Since the grand launch of Real Women’s Day, I’ve sailed to over 50 fine colleges, chattin’ with landlubbers—students, athletes, and the brass—’bout how lasses be sufferin’ under the false flag of “progress.” Arrr, ’tis a right ruckus, I tell ye!
October 10, 2024, 6:00 am
Arrr, matey! Aye say, a sturdy power grid be the treasure we seek! It be keepin’ our homes lit, our ships sailin’, and our cannons boomin’! Let not squabblin’ over flags blind us; we need that spark, or we’ll be sailin’ in the dark!
October 10, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr, matey! It be said that in this fair land, there be a crew of 25 to 30 million scallywags callin’ themselves evangelicals. Yet, lo and behold, a third of ’em be too busy swabbin’ the decks to cast a vote! Avast, what a swindle!
October 10, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr, me hearties! This be the direst week for the second-in-command, I tell ye! A right storm o' troubles be brewin' for the vice captain, and I reckon he’d trade his finest rum to be rid o’ it! Avast, what a jolly mess!
October 9, 2024, 6:00 am
Arrr, me hearties! With no treasure map nor crew to back him, Zelenskyy's grand scheme be as likely to find peace in Ukraine as a fish on land. He spun his yarn to Captain Biden back in September, but I reckon it be naught but a sea shanty!
October 9, 2024, 4:00 am
Avast, me hearties! Though a dip in mischief be a fine treasure, the FBI's scrolls be lacking in full bounty 'bout crime and safety on these shores. Allow me to spin ye a yarn!
October 9, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr, matey! The grand election be boilin’ down to five fateful figures! Aye, it be all about how Trump and that scallywag Harris charm the landsmen beyond their own crew. A right ruckus it be, arrr!
October 8, 2024, 10:14 am
Avast ye, mateys! Dive into the freshest tales from Fox News' opinion treasure chest! And don’t be missin’ the lively yarns from Cap’n Hannity and First Mate Arroyo! Arrr, set sail for some jolly good watchin'!
October 8, 2024, 9:00 am
Arrr, matey! We be never lettin' the treasure o' free speech be buried or compromised, lest we find ourselves walkin' the plank! 'Tis the mightiest power a scallywag could wield, better than a chest o' gold! Speak yer mind, or ye be a landlubber!
October 8, 2024, 8:00 am
Arrr, matey! The squall o' migrants in Massachusetts be no mere breeze to blow away! It be takin' a bold captain with a heart o' gold to steer us true, thinkin' of the crew 'fore the ship’s colors! Aye, let’s chart a course for kindness!
October 8, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr, as the daring rescue crew set sail, Captain Alejandro Mayorkas be shoutin' from the crow's nest that the treasure chest be nearly empty! The federal crew be close to runnin' out of doubloons for them hurricane mischiefs. Arrr, time to swab the deck and find some gold!
October 8, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr, Kamala Harris be like a ship with no wind in her sails, matey! She be tryin' to chart a course, but the seas be rough and her compass be all askew! Aye, not so much a captain, more like a scallywag lost at sea!
October 7, 2024, 10:21 pm
Arrr, me hearties! The crew on the 'Gutfeld!' ship be chortlin' like scallywags upon hearin' that ol' Captain Trump be back in Butler, Pa., after a right nasty attempt on his life! 'Tis a tale fit for the taverns, where danger be just a laugh away! Ha-ha!
October 7, 2024, 4:34 pm
Arrr, matey! After three decades sailin' the treacherous seas of politics, it be clear as day: Captain Trump be the only scallywag worthy of a page in the history tomes! Aye, he be a legend, whether ye be laughin' or cryin'!
October 7, 2024, 1:10 pm
Arrr, matey! The poor souls o' 10/7 be lost to the briny deep, while scallywags and knaves be twistin' ‘em into tyrants! Aye, these bilge rats think Jewish lives be naught but seaweed—ay, ‘tis a fine jest they be makin’!
October 7, 2024, 8:00 am
Arrr, the Department o' Justice be claimin' that any scallywag workin' fer the crown can snatch up patents like they be treasure! Blimey, that’d sink Kamala Harris's fine legacy of aidin' the wee folk. A right jolly mess, I say!
October 7, 2024, 6:00 am
Arrr, matey! Helene plundered the peaceful lands o' Appalachia, leavin' 'em marooned! With but a month 'til the grand election, we best hoist their voices high, lest they be drowned in silence like a ship lost at sea! Aye!
October 7, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr, 'tis been a year since them scallywags struck Israel! Antisemitism be sailin' strong in yon blue states, where it be festerin' like a barnacle on a ship's hull, and the landlubbers be chantin' "death to Israel!" Blimey, what a right ruckus!
October 7, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr, a year since the 10/7 fracas, and Israel be settin' sail fer peace! To chart a course, they must best the scallywags of Hamas, Hezbollah, and them Houthis, whilst makin' nice with the Saudis. Avast, let the parley begin, or we’ll be in Davy Jones’ locker!
October 6, 2024, 12:08 pm
Arrr, matey! Columnist David Marcus be spottin’ that the young scallywags of Gen Z be raisin’ the Jolly Roger for Trump more than their Millennial brethren! Aye, these sprightly sea dogs be filled with hope for the morrow! What be their secret rum, I wonder?
October 6, 2024, 9:00 am
Arrr, when the Almighty be shoutin’ “fear not,” ye can be sure o’ three things: it’s fer a jolly good cause, it’s fer yer own benefit, and it’ll make Him beam brighter than a chest o’ gold! Aye, trust the Divine captain on that!
October 6, 2024, 8:00 am
Arrr, me hearties! On this cursed date of Oct. 7, 2023, when them scallywags of Hamas set sail on a bloody spree, let’s not just moan over the horror, but ponder the eerie hush that followed—like a ship lost at sea with nary a whisper to be heard!
October 6, 2024, 7:00 am
Arrr, me hearties! Captain Trump be a true defender o' the faith, guardin' liberty on both shores! Yet, that scallywag Kamala Harris be stirrin' the pot with her anti-religion shenanigans! Aye, let’s raise a mug to the true believers and keep an eye on the landlubbers!
October 5, 2024, 9:00 am
Arrr, matey! Though old age be a rickety ship full o' creaks and groans, it ain't all bad! I first spied the silver linings three years past, when me trusty odometer winked at me, sayin’ I’d sailed the seas of life for fifty grand years! Avast, what a journey!
October 5, 2024, 7:19 am
Arrr, the Biden-Harris crew be takin' their sweet time respondin' to Hurricane Helene's mischief, leavin' good folk in peril! But lo and behold, the media, which be raisin' a ruckus 'bout Bush and Katrina, be as quiet as a cat in a crow's nest! What be this folly, I ask?
October 5, 2024, 6:00 am
Arrr, matey! The vice-presidential parley be sinkin' the Harris-Walz ship faster than a cannonball! From here on, 'tis naught but a treasure chest of misfortune, includin’ their feeble reply to the tempest’s wrath! Avast, ‘tis a jolly good mess, indeed!
October 4, 2024, 1:49 pm
Arrr, as a scallywag adviser to Mrs. Trump in that grand ol' White House, I be havin’ me share o’ mischief! Many a tale spun by former crew members be more twisted than a sea serpent, if ye catch me drift! Blimey, what a jolly jest that be!
October 4, 2024, 9:24 am
Avast ye scallywags! Set yer eyes upon the freshest tales from Fox News Opinion, and feast yer gaze on the jolly antics of Sean Hannity, Raymond Arroyo, and a motley crew o' others! Aye, ‘tis a treasure trove of mirth for yer merry amusement!
October 4, 2024, 6:00 am
Arrr, matey! The US be boastin’ over 40,000 scallywags and a mighty fleet o' ships and flying contraptions in the Middle East! But beware, for Iran’s got six sneaky tricks up its sleeve to unleash a jolly ol’ attack on those landlubbers! Avast, the seas be treacherous!
October 4, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr, matey! This summer, Tom Cruise swashbuckled the gaze o’ the world from Paris to Los Angeles with his wild antics! But now, all eyes be settin' sail to the LA Olympic crew and that scallywag Mayor Karen Bass. Aye, what a jolly show it be!
October 4, 2024, 4:00 am
Avast, matey! When me mum sailed to the good ol' U.S. of A., the immigration riggin' was a mere trifle! Now, 'tis like a leaky ship, swamped by scallywags and landlubbers stormin' the southern shores! Blimey, we be needin' a bigger treasure chest for all these hearty souls!
October 3, 2024, 2:49 pm
Arrr, at the grand debate o' Vice Pirates, both Vance and Walz tossed a trinket or two for all hands on deck! But fer those still ponderin’ their choices, there be no shiny treasures to sway their hearts. A fine hullabaloo, but no gold to be found!
October 3, 2024, 6:00 am
Arrr, matey! A mighty strike be stoppin' 36 ports, leavin' half o’ our trade adrift! Exports be sinkin’ like a ship with a hole, but don’t blame the crew or the captain—blame the gold-fever cost o’ livin’! Aye, the treasure be too dear!
October 3, 2024, 6:00 am
Arrr! In his grand parley at the United Nations, Biden be needin’ to shout, "Ye olde U.N. be sailin' off course! If it hopes to keep its relevance, it must be reimagined, or be prepared to walk the plank!” A jolly jest, indeed!
October 3, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr, matey! The VP sparring laid bare Kamala's blunderin' ways in choosin' her crew! Pickin' that scallywag Gov. Tim Walz from Minnesota be a right folly, and now she’s stuck with that barnacle on her ship! Aye, 'tis a choice she be regrettin’ on stormy seas!
October 3, 2024, 4:00 am
Avast, matey! In the year of our Lord two-thousand and twenty-three, a hearty 66% of landlubbers be toilin’ in the office all five days! Aye, more scallywags be joinin’ the fray, so hoist yer sails and prepare for a week of swabbin’ decks! Arrr!
October 2, 2024, 1:36 pm
Arrr, after the moonlit Tuesday, Sen. Vance be a mighty giant 'mongst them Republican scallywags! His words be weighty as a chest o' doubloons, and he'll be shakin' the seas o' campaigning more than a drunken sailor on a rickety ship, aye!
October 2, 2024, 11:22 am
Arrr, matey! America be in a right pickle—from the sands o’ the Middle East to the flooded coasts o’ the Southeast! While the good ship America be takin’ on water, ol’ Captain Biden be snoozin’ at the helm. Avast, wake him up, or we be sunk!
October 2, 2024, 6:00 am
Arrr, matey! The Russia-Iran crew be a scallywag threat greater than ye landlubbers reckon! With darkened sails and sneaky spies lurkin' 'mongst ye shores, they be ready to unleash their mischief right under yer noses! Keep a weathered eye, or ye might find yerself walkin' the plank!
October 2, 2024, 5:00 am
Arrr, matey! The tale be spun from the fateful day in October '83, when a rascally bomb went boom at the U.S. Marine den in Beirut, givin' rise to those scallywags Iran be supportin'. A right ruckus it stirred, aye! Aye, the seas be still churnin' with that mischief!
October 2, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr! If ye be wishin’ to glimpse the shores of America under Kamala’s rule, just cast yer eyes on Seattle’s ways with the scallywags on the pipe! I merely asked, and lo! A taxpayer-funded meth pipe appeared—what a jolly treasure! Avast, what a fine time to be a pirate!
October 2, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr, as Kamala be spoutin' her grand schemes fer the coin, 'tis plain she aims to be tossin' more doubloons into the sea, whilst plunderin' the pockets o' some landlubbers with higher taxes. A fine treasure hunt, indeed! Avast!
October 2, 2024, 12:37 am
Arrr, matey! In yon ABC hullabaloo 'twixt Trump and Harris, the CBS scallywags be makin’ fools o’ themselves, showin’ clear favoritism fer the lass in the blue! A right jolly mess, it be! Let’s hoist the sails and laugh at their folly, I say!
October 1, 2024, 12:44 pm
Arrr, matey! It be said that yer average landlubber’s made up their mind 'bout the ballot, with a measly 10 percent still blowin’ in the wind! And lo! The way they score the fisticuffs be as confounded as their choices, aye! A right jolly jest, I say!
October 1, 2024, 10:21 am
Avast ye mateys! Set yer spyglasses on the freshest tales from Fox News Opinion! Yarr, feast yer eyes on moving pictures o' Sean Hannity, Raymond Arroyo, and a gaggle o' salty sea dogs! Don't ye be missing this treasure trove of nonsense!
October 1, 2024, 9:00 am
Arrr, in a wee abode where a sprout be raisin' with two mates, the wee scallywag spies the sweet treasure o' love! Aye, the circle be as round as a cannonball, and all be shipshape, savvy?
October 1, 2024, 6:00 am
Arrr, Jimmy Carter be the very spirit of America, matey! With a heart full o’ God and love for his land, he be chasin’ the grand dream like a scallywag seekin’ treasure beyond the shores of Plains. Aye, he be livin’ large, like a captain of fortune!
October 1, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr! Whatever chinwag Captain Netanyahu had with the likes of Biden and Harris, he scuttled back to Jerusalem, and lo! Israel tossed aside nearly every glove, ready to brawl! 'Tis a right ruckus, matey, with swords drawn and no more polite parley!
October 1, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr, matey! VP Harris be thinkin’ that a mere 20 minutes—aye, twenty whole ticks o’ the clock—could sway the hearts o’ the masses 'bout her blunder at the border! Aye, that be as likely as a one-legged sailor winnin’ a dance-off! Har har har!
September 30, 2024, 10:25 pm
Arrr, me hearties! The scallywags on the 'Gutfeld!' deck be jawin' 'bout the ICE treasure map revealin' the rascals with a penchant for villainy! Aye, seems some landlubbers be carryin' more than just a parrot on their shoulder! Ho ho, what a merry crew we be!
September 30, 2024, 8:00 am
Arrr, matey! If ye be seekin' a captain who spun 800,000 fine jobs from the depths and hoisted America’s saggin’ ship with a treasure trove o’ $1 trillion, then yer course be clear as a calm sea on a full moon night! Avast, set yer sails!
September 30, 2024, 6:00 am
Arrr, on Tuesday night, the scallywag JD Vance’ll clash swords o’ words with the guber’nor Tim Walz, from the frozen north! Don’t be thinkin’ this be naught but a merry jig; it be a battle that could shake the very sea! Hoist the sails and gather ye crew!
September 30, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr, me hearties! The battle fer fair play in the lady sportin' seas be a'continuin'! Another fierce lass o' the college realm be joinin' the fray against the NCAA scallywags. They be fightin' to keep the game shipshape and safe, savvy? Aye, let the laughter roll like the tides!
September 30, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr, matey! Kamala Harris be spillin’ her beans on economic schemes, but blimey, they be a shipwreck! Her notions ‘bout grub, health, and havens be all 'bout the bloated government settin' sail into our lives. Hoist the Jolly Roger and run for the hills, I say!
September 29, 2024, 5:33 pm
Arrr! David Marcus be sayin’ that Vice President Kamala Harris turned the heat up on them Pittsburgh grub merchants, celebratin’ like a scallywag when them mateys sent JD Vance packin’. A right merry ruckus it was, makin’ their salty lives a bit more tempest-tossed!
September 29, 2024, 9:00 am
Avast, matey! We be needin' the liberty to flap our gums without a barnacle-laden gag weighin' us down! A good squabble be the very spine o' a jolly democracy, or else we be marooned in silence like scurvy dogs! Arrr!
September 29, 2024, 7:00 am
Arrr, me hearties! That shiny contraption be claimin' to link us, yet leaves us lonelier than a sea rat! Aye, it’s divided the crew even more. But fear not, for together we can patch these wounds and sail back to camaraderie! Avast, let’s hoist our spirits!
September 29, 2024, 5:00 am
Arrr, matey! The Biden-Harris crew be set on banishin' that fiery gas from our galleons, even suggestin' we toss the ol' cookin' stoves overboard! Aye, they be on a quest to rid the seas of gas, like a scallywag lookin' for buried treasure!
September 28, 2024, 9:00 am
Ahoy mateys! We be makin’ a pact with the landlubbers, ten bold promises fer the treasure! We be talkin’ tax cuts, a mighty veto, laws to keep the scallywags in check, and a fixin’ of the welfare mess. Let’s set sail on this grand adventure of Congress! Arrr!
September 28, 2024, 7:00 am
Arrr, matey! The Harris-Walz crew be dabblin' in fanciful talk, tryin' to hoist the flag of 'freedom'! But, shiver me timbers, they’ve got a parrot on their shoulder who’s forgotten the 1st Amendment! Aye, they be sailin’ in murky waters! Keep yer eye on the horizon, savvy?
September 27, 2024, 8:11 pm
Arrr, me hearties! Columnist David Marcus be sayin' that Vice President Kamala Harris' jaunt to the border be a right jape! She be the scallywag who stirred the pot, and now ain't lifted a finger, though she be called the "Border Czar." Blimey, what a fine pickle!
September 27, 2024, 9:58 am
Avast ye scallywags! Set yer gaze upon the freshest loot from Fox News Opinion, and feast yer eyes on the swashbucklin’ tales spun by Sean Hannity, Raymond Arroyo, and other salty sea dogs! Arrr, don’t be a landlubber—join the merry crew of newswatchin’!
September 27, 2024, 6:00 am
Arrr! The fine folk of America be wantin’ to hear from both Captain Kamala and Captain Trump! Will they keep sailin’ the same ol’ course for UNRWA and Gaza, or be they chartin’ a fresh sea? Let’s hoist the sails and see whar the winds blow, matey!
September 27, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr, I be a swashbucklin' lass of the schoolyard games! But alas, the fair maidens must share their quarters with landlubber lads. But lo! The Supreme Court be givin' me a chance to set sail and right this jolly mess! Aye, let’s hoist the sails of fairness!
September 27, 2024, 4:00 am
Avast, mateys! The election be nigh, with four pesky Unknowns lurkin' like scallywags on the high seas! The treasure map's drawn by the economy, Mideast skirmishes, Ukraine's ruckus, and the vice captain's debate. Savvy? The winds be blowin', and who knows which way the ship shall sail!
September 26, 2024, 6:00 am
Arrr, mateys! I’ve been hoistin’ the flag for me hearty policies to keep landlubbers spry! With Captain Trump at the helm, I be certain we’ll plunder the treasure of good health! So raise yer tankards and let’s set sail for a fit crew, savvy?
September 26, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr, me hearties! The scallywags o' Banned Book Week be squawkin' ‘bout parents thwartin' their lefty brainwashin’ in schools! Yet, they set sail to besmear the treasure-laden Elon Musk for captaining a ship o' free speech on the high seas of social media. Blimey, what a jolly ruckus!
September 26, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr, be the Democrat scallywag uneasy 'round the holy folk or the talking contraptions? Or mayhap both be givin' 'em the heebie-jeebies? Yarr, what a sight to behold! A landlubber dodgin' prayers and speeches like a sailor avoidin' a kraken!
September 25, 2024, 2:46 pm
Arrr, matey! Columnist David Marcus be spoutin' his yarns 'bout why the fair Kamala Harris shan't set sail to the grand Al Smith Dinner. Perhaps she fears the fishy grub or the raucous crew will make her keel over in laughter! Aye, 'tis a tale worth a hearty chuckle!
September 25, 2024, 9:03 am
Arrr, matey! Danny Danon, Israel's top sea dog at the UN, be claimin' that the global crew be shiverin' their timbers with them scallywags, losin' all chance of settlin' the stormy seas o' peace in the Middle East! Aye, a fine mess they be!
September 25, 2024, 8:59 am
Arrr, matey! Iran be the scourge of the seven seas, stirrin' up trouble and makin' enemies aplenty! Yet, our captain Biden gave but a whisper about 'em in his grand speech! Seems he be too busy swabbin' the deck to notice the storm brewin’! Har har!
September 25, 2024, 8:00 am
Arrr, matey! Vice President Harris be hopin' ye forget her part in the tempest o' economic woes these last three and a half years! She be steerin' clear of the captain's ship, tryin' to dodge the storms o' Bidenomics. A true swashbuckler, she be!
September 25, 2024, 6:00 am
Arrr, on the fifth o’ November, the good folk o’ Berkely be settin’ sail to cast their votes! They be ponderin’ a measure to tax those scallywags with grand ol’ buildings, weighin’ in at 15,000 square feet or more, dependin’ on how much natural gas they be guzzlin’ each year! Yarrr!
September 25, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr, after four long years of pamperin' the scallywags in Iran, the Biden-Harris crew be makin' cozy with the most anti-democratic knaves on the seven seas! Aye, 'tis a jolly fine way to win the hearts of rogues! Avast, me hearty, what a right merry mess!
September 25, 2024, 4:00 am
Avast! Sen. McConnell, the crafty sea dog, has carved a fine legacy for free speech in the treasure trove of campaign doubloons. Aye, what a jest it be, 'tis a grand triumph after bein' bested by the court's gavel! A true captain of irony on the high seas of politics!
September 24, 2024, 10:24 pm
Arrr, matey! The rascally crew o' Gutfeld be a-chucklin' at a missive from old sea dogs o' the military, givin' a hearty thumbs-up to the fair Vice President Kamala Harris! Blimey, what treasure be this? Pirates endorsin' politicians, it be a right merry jest!
September 24, 2024, 9:52 am
Arrr, matey! Aaron Sorkin be spoutin’ a fresh way to eye the political seas! The two great ships o’ the parties ain't chartin’ a course for common treasure no more, but squabblin' like scallywags over different maps! Aye, 'tis a right jolly hullabaloo!
September 24, 2024, 9:11 am
Ahoy, me hearties! Set sail fer the freshest tales from Fox News Opinion! Feast yer eyes on the yarns spun by Captain Hannity, Matey Arroyo, and a crew of scallywags! Don’t be a landlubber; catch the jolly jestin’ and join the fun! Yarrr!
September 24, 2024, 9:00 am
Arrr, whilst the vast sea o' the internet be teemin' with jests and diversions, here I be, in the muck and mire, keepin' the American Dream afloat fer me hearty crew! Yarr, mayhaps a treasure map be more useful than a cat meme!
September 24, 2024, 6:00 am
Arrr, when Trump an' Harris did parley, not a whisper o' learnin' crossed their lips! Yet here be the rub: the scallywags of parents an' students be keen fer a treasure map of policies to hoist education from Davy Jones' locker! Avast, we need a course correction!
September 24, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr, we be knowin’ full well what them mullahs in Tehran be castin’ their votes fer! Aye, they’d be raisin’ the Jolly Roger fer their own kind, while we’d be laughin’ like scallywags at their folly! Har har!
September 24, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr, matey! Harris be needin’ to spin a yarn for the landlubbers, tellin’ ’em how her crew will hoist their sails and catch the winds of fortune, for many a soul be driftin’ in the doldrums these past years! Let’s chart a course to brighter shores, aye!
September 23, 2024, 10:24 pm
Arrr, me hearties! The rascals on the 'Gutfeld!' deck be jawin’ 'bout why ye scallywags ought to hoist yer sails for a certain captain in the 2024 treasure hunt! Aye, vote wisely or ye might end up walkin’ the plank with Davy Jones! Har har!
September 23, 2024, 7:00 am
Arrr, matey! It be said that Captain Trump might hoist the Jolly Roger high, claimin' the favor of a hearty crew o’ Hispanics, makin’ him the first Republican to sail those waters with the wind at his back, unmatched in his charm 'mongst those fine seafarers!
September 23, 2024, 6:00 am
Arrr, matey! The Biden-Harris crew be a scallywag threat to our open seas of the internet! They be usin' the FCC to meddle in all manner of connections and gold-coin prices, makin' us landlubbers' lives more tangled than a sailor's knots!
September 23, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr, before Cap’n Walz sets sail fer the vice presidency, let’s parley 'bout that grand school lunch scallywagery! A whopping $250 million sunk, with five landlubbers sent to Davy Jones’ locker for their treachery! Avast, what a feast of folly!
September 23, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr, matey! Trump be keepin’ them treasure taxes low, makin’ it merry for gold-lovin’ investors! He’ll slice through them pesky rules like a cutlass, boostin’ our bounty of energy, and makin’ every doubloon stretch further than a ship’s sail in a fair wind! Aye, what a jolly time!
September 22, 2024, 10:29 am
Arrr, matey! Columnist David Marcus be chattin’ with landlubbers in Hershey and other wee hamlets 'bout this Project 2025. Some be wise to the truth, but many be swallowin' the tall tales spun by the scurvy press! Avast, 'tis a right merry misunderstanding!
September 22, 2024, 9:00 am
Arrr, me hearties! To turn a ruckus 'mongst mates into jolly banter, we must train our scallywag selves to swap our sword-drawn ways for chatty cheer. Aye, let’s befriend our tempers and stop battlin’ like barnacles on a ship’s hull!
September 22, 2024, 7:00 am
Arrr, me hearties! We all be facin' mighty peaks in our lives, blockin’ the treasure of a bonny existence! But with a stout heart and the grit of a true scallywag, we’ll climb those blubberin’ mountains and snatch the gold of joy! Avast, let’s set sail!
September 22, 2024, 5:00 am
Arrr! The 'Serial' tale be diggin' into a foul murder from the year of our lord 1999, causin' a ruckus that still be unsolved! But who be standin' up for the poor soul and her kin? Aye, it be a puzzlin' sea of woes, matey!
September 21, 2024, 9:00 am
Arrr! I not be just shoutin’ fer the scallywags to toss them cellphones overboard in schools, but I also urge the landlubbers—parents and teachers—to hoist the sails together on this mighty quest, lest our young be lost at sea o' distractions! Aye!
September 21, 2024, 7:00 am
Arrr, matey! Each dawn, lads be leavin' the ship of learnin' and toil, drownin' in distractions like barnacles on the hull! They be seekin' cozy comforts, forgettin' the treasure of purpose that once steered 'em true. Blimey, what a jolly mess!
September 21, 2024, 6:00 am
Arrr, matey! Kamala be dodgin' me questions 'bout her treasure map fer the doubloons! I reckon she be stickin' to the same sea chart as Captain Biden, callin' it Bidenomics. Aye, ‘tis no surprise to this salty sea dog!
September 20, 2024, 12:39 pm
Arrr, the waves be churnin’ from ABC’s wobbly presidential parley! Even their own landlubber fact-checkers be sayin’ the network sailed ‘nigh poorly, failin’ to see through the tall tales spun by that scallywag, Vice President Kamala Harris! Avast, what a hullabaloo!
September 20, 2024, 12:33 pm
Ahoy, matey! Feast yer eyes on the freshest tales from the scallywags at Fox News Opinion! Set sail with the musings of Captain Hannity, the jolly Raymond Arroyo, and a crew of merry jesters! Arrr, don’t be a landlubber—catch the latest and laugh like a true buccaneer!
September 20, 2024, 6:00 am
Arrr, matey! This fancy contraption called artificial intelligence be shakin' up the doctorin' seas! But beware, for it be as clumsy as a landlubber at the helm! When it comes to sendin' a soul to Davy Jones, let not this metal scallywag decide, lest we end up in a right pickle!
September 20, 2024, 4:00 am
Ahoy matey! If ye fancy yer trusty contraption, keep it ye shall! But beware, the shiny new ones be not as grand and will plunder more doubloons from yer chest! That be the Biden-Harris scheme to go green, aye! Arrr, savvy?
September 20, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr, matey! The squabble 'bout immigrants ain't all about doubloons, but they be a hefty chunk o' the treasure map! I be crunchin' the figures, and blimey, they be showin' the US could strike gold or sink to Davy Jones' locker with a trillion-dollar folly!
September 19, 2024, 10:32 pm
Arrr, me hearties! The scallywags on the 'Gutfeld!' deck be chattin' 'bout the mighty Teamsters' silence in the grand presidential battle of 2024. Aye, what be more important than a band o' ruffians not backin' a captain? Hoist the sails o' laughter, 'tis a jolly jest indeed!
September 19, 2024, 12:55 pm
Arrr! Attorney Trevor Asserson be spillin' the beans, revealin' a grand tale o' the BBC's favoritism against Israel in the scallywag's brawl in Gaza. Aye, the report be thicker than a ship's hull and twice as jolly! Raise the flag, for truth be a treasure worth seekin'!
September 19, 2024, 6:00 am
Arrr, Kamala Harris be boastin' she’s the "daughter of Oakland," yet the poor souls of the Asian seas be sufferin’ from villainy! Aye, she be turnin' a blind eye while treasure’s plundered, laughin’ like a scallywag at their woes! Avast, where be her cutlass for justice?
September 19, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr, mateys! The great election be drawin' near, and some scallywags be castin' their ballots already! That clever sea dog Nate Silver be sayin' Trump’s the favored captain. So hoist yer sails an' let me spin ye a yarn on why ye should back the ol' captain once more!
September 19, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr, matey! Kamala be throwin’ a shiny $25,000 doubloon at landlubbers lookin’ for their first ship—er, home! But beware! The gubbmint be as handy with free-market woes as a fish on a bicycle! Best let the sea of commerce flow free, savvy?
September 18, 2024, 3:22 pm
Arrr! Columnist David Marcus be chattin’ with the hearty crew of union mates, and lo! They be trustin’ Trump with the treasure o’ the economy more than a scallywag with a leaky ship! Avast, me hearties, what a jolly twist o’ fate on the high seas of politics!
September 18, 2024, 8:00 am
Arrr, matey! In less than threescore and twelve hours, another stab at the captain be a-comin’! But alas, the scallywags be ign’rin’ the chill of the sea, instead stirrin’ the pot like a parrot with a sore throat! What be these landlubbers thinkin’?
September 18, 2024, 6:00 am
Arrr, matey! The grand skirmish with the Far East be afoot! Last week, the House of Rascals braved the tempest, hoistin’ 25 mighty scrolls to fend off them sneaky Chinese rogues from plundering our treasure of gold and gadgets! Aye, a true treasure hunt it be!
September 18, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr, a year past, I be scribblin' me name to raise the coin for me hearty fast-food scallywags! By the treasure map o' numbers, California be swimmin' in more fry-cookin' jobs than a ship in a storm o' tater tots! Avast, me mateys!
September 18, 2024, 4:00 am
Avast ye! The Biden-Harris crew be hoisting the sails on a shambolic immigration scheme they scuttled just a month prior, all 'cause of swindlers! Aye, it be more tangled than a ship's riggin' in a storm! Arrr, let the farce continue, me hearties!
September 17, 2024, 9:22 am
Avast, me hearties! Set yer spyglasses on the freshest tales from the Fox News treasure chest! Ye’ll find merry motion pictures from Captain Hannity, Buccaneer Arroyo, and other scallywags! Don yer finest tricorn and prepare fer a hearty laugh! Arrr!
September 17, 2024, 9:00 am
Arrr, me hearties! By the beard of Poseidon, I be baffled why learnin' ain’t the grandest treasure on the high seas! Schools be sinkin’ faster than a ship with a hole, leavin' our young scallywags adrift. Raise the flag for knowledge, or we be lost at sea!
September 17, 2024, 6:00 am
Arrr, on the 17th o' September, we be raisin' our tankards fer 235 years o' the grand ol' Constitution! Aye, we ought to be celebratin', but alas, the landlubbers on the left be callin' our sacred scrolls 'dangerous.' Blimey, what a scallywag's tale that be!
September 17, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr, matey! This scallywag of a tome be so jarring, ye’ll be tossin’ yer phone overboard, if only for a wee moment! Aye, it be a treasure trove of tales that'll shiver yer timbers and make ye forget the siren call of them shiny gadgets!
September 17, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr, matey! A raucous tome has landed upon the seas of yer mind, savvy? It be so jarring, ye might find yerself tossin' yer phone overboard, if only for a blink o' time! So hoist the sails and feast yer eyes on this literary treasure!
September 17, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr, savvy matey! Summonin' Musk, the sharpest scallywag on the seven seas, to trim the fat from our lumberin’ federal ship be a jolly good notion! Aye, 'tis the sort of wild thought that helped that landlubber Trump sail to victory in '16! Avast, let’s set sail for efficiency!
September 16, 2024, 11:19 pm
Avast, me hearties! Greg Gutfeld, the scallywag of Fox News, be spoutin’ his thoughts on the second attempt to send former Captain Trump to Davy Jones' locker on 'Gutfeld!' Aye, the seas be treacherous for ol’ Trump, but the jester be chattin’ like a parrot on a barrel! Arrr!
September 16, 2024, 7:12 pm
Ahoy mateys! Columnist David Marcus be spillin' the beans o' an assassination plot whilst munchin' on meaty treasures at a Pennsylvania tavern. The scallywags there be less shocked than a landlubber in a shark tank! And him? Why, he be as unsurprised as a parrot on a pirate's shoulder! Arrr!
September 16, 2024, 8:00 am
Arrr, I toiled many a moon penning me tale of Captain Ronald Reagan! But lo, Clint Eastwood, that scallywag, whispered sage words to me, and blimey, they be as akin to the captain's own ramblings! Aye, 'tis a right merry jest, I say!
September 16, 2024, 6:00 am
Arrr, matey! Strange tidings be blowin' in from the polls, ‘fore Tuesday's grand debate! It seems the scallywags in the land be havin' curious thoughts 'bout both Kamala and that ol’ Trump sea-dog. What a jolly mess we be in, eh? Aye, the seas be stormy!
September 16, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr, it be nearly a year since the good matey Matthew Perry set sail to Davy Jones’ locker, an’ yet the courts be tangled in a right mess! A scallywag drug crisis be at the core, with justice finally weighin’ anchor for a proper prosecution. Avast, what a hullabaloo!
September 15, 2024, 12:20 pm
Ahoy! Columnist David Marcus sails into a famed tavern, rubbin' elbows with true sea dogs frettin' over their port's fate. With grog in hand, they swap tall tales o' doom and gloom, all while chucklin' like jolly buccaneers at the whims of fortune! Arrr, what a merry bunch!
September 15, 2024, 9:00 am
Arrr, Captain Trump be the most thrillin’ president t’ sail the modern seas! He knows it ain't just ‘bout wearin’ the captain’s hat, but makin’ sure all hands see yer swagger! Aye, a true buccaneer o' the political waters, if I ever did spy one!
September 15, 2024, 7:00 am
Arrr, matey! From days of yore, the holy sea dogs of America be spoutin' their wisdom ‘bout them landlubber newcomers, givin’ sage advice on who be comin’ aboard and what scrolls be passed! Aye, their words be as bounteous as a treasure chest!
September 15, 2024, 6:00 am
Arrr, four winters past, we be raisin' our tankards fer the grand scribblin' of the Abraham Accords! A mighty leap toward peace in the Middle East, brought forth by the Trump crew. Aye, even a scallywag knows when to toast to such fine diplomacy! Cheers, mateys!
September 14, 2024, 12:23 pm
Ahoy, mateys! Columnist David Marcus sails to Springfield, Ohio, where the good folk be up in arms 'bout the government’s scallywag handling o' a mighty horde o' refugees. They be as cranky as a parrot with a thorn in its tail! Arrr, what a ruckus!
September 14, 2024, 9:00 am
Arrr, matey! America be smitten with yon humble cardboard contraption! We clutch ‘em tight, like a treasure! Amazon may’ve trapped us in their plunder, but now they be tryin’ to shoo us out like scurvy dogs. Aye, we be box-bound swabs, chucklin’ all the way to the galley!
September 14, 2024, 7:00 am
Arrr, Kamala be claimin’ she flipped patties at McDonald's in her younger days! I sailed the seas o' both government and private trade, gleanin' wisdom she be needin' too! Aye, some lessons be more valuable than a chest o' gold, savvy?
September 14, 2024, 6:00 am
Arrr matey! Half o’ the landlubbers be thinkin’ a scurvy crew be pullin’ their strings! That ABC News circus just be givin’ ‘em cannon-fire proof o’ their notions, aye! The doubloons of truth be buried deep, but these pirates be diggin’ it up, savvy?
September 14, 2024, 5:00 am
Arrr, matey! Imagine ye this: the former captain Trump’s life be saved, not by his loyal crew of lawmen, but by the fickle winds o' fortune! Aye, 'twas luck, not valor, that kept him from Davy Jones' locker! Har har har!
September 13, 2024, 12:15 pm
Avast, me hearties! I set sail to a curious cove in West Virginia, where the landlubbers I chatted with had me jaw droppin’! I reckon Kamala Harris and Donald Trump ought to parley with these scallywags—talk about a treasure trove of surprises! Arrr, 'twas a jolly good time!
September 13, 2024, 10:09 am
Avast ye scallywags! Feast yer eyes on the freshest tales from Fox News’ wise men! Cast yer gaze upon the moving pictures of Cap’n Sean Hannity, Master Raymond Arroyo, and a merry crew of others. Don’t be a landlubber—join the jolly ruckus! Arrr!
September 13, 2024, 8:00 am
Arrr, me hearties! The fate o' the election may hinge on but a handful o' scallywags in Pennsylvania! Four trinkets might sway their minds, but one be a memory they won't be shakin' off anytime soon! Grab yer grog and prepare for a jolly good show!
September 13, 2024, 6:00 am
Arrr, matey! Putin’s scallywag crew be singin’ praises for Harris, callin’ her the queen of the debate! Yet, they be mockin’ the good ol’ U.S. and stirrin’ the pot o’ discord to further their own treacherous schemes! Avast, what a ruckus on the high seas of politics!
September 13, 2024, 4:00 am
Ahoy, me hearties! Once more, the lasses be told to grin and hold their tongues whilst the lads sail off with our trophies, leavin' naught but dust in their wake! Aye, ‘tis a right jolly jest, watchin’ ‘em steal the wind from our sails! Arrr!
September 13, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr, matey! The scallywags of TdA be sailin' to the U.S. with a crew o' 1,000! Blame it on the Biden-Harris hullabaloo, makin' the border a wild tempest, especially with those sanctuary ports lettin' in all manner o' ruffians! Avast, me hearties!
September 12, 2024, 10:57 pm
Arrr, me hearties! The crew aboard the 'Gutfeld!' ship be chattin' 'bout the scallywags who can’t make up their minds! They be scratchin' their noggins after Vice President Kamala Harris took the stage at the ABC Debate, like a parrot tryin' to squawk a tune! Ahoy, what a sight!
September 12, 2024, 3:10 pm
Arrr, matey! Attorney and rights buccaneer Brooke Goldstein be spottin’ the ol’ antisemitism beast risin’ in Canada’s waters! She be hoistin’ the sails and chartin’ a course to combat this scallywag, or me name ain’t Captain Jolly! Avast, justice be comin’!
September 12, 2024, 8:00 am
Arrr, Reagan be a bold captain o' his own ship, sailin' with mighty beliefs and fine words! He plundered success, even with the scallywags o' the media, Democrats, and highborns gnashin' their teeth at him. Aye, that tale rings true, don’t it? Ha!
September 12, 2024, 6:00 am
Arrr, matey! Instead o' rescuin' Guatemala, the Biden-Harris crew be makin' a right mess o' this wee but mighty ally! 'Tis like tryin' to sail a ship with a hole in the hull—funnier than a barnacle on a seagull, but a sight more trouble!
September 12, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr! ABC and Disney be caught with their breeches down, disgraceful scallywags! The Republicans and true-hearted independents be markin' this day in their logbooks, never to forget the folly of these landlubbers! Ho ho, a right merry jest for the ages!
September 12, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr, Kamala be speakin’ of school shootin’s like a sailor frettin’ o’er a leaky barrel! But when she calls it an "epidemic of gun violence," it be soundin’ as empty as a treasure chest after a scallywag’s visit! Aye, she be needin' a stronger compass for her words!
September 11, 2024, 10:07 pm
Arrr! The scallywags o' the 'Gutfeld!' crew be spillin' their jolly thoughts on the grand ABC News Presidential Debate in the fair city of Philadelphia. Aye, 'twas a right spectacle, fit for a captain's log! (Courtesy o' the fine folk at ABC News, savvy?)
September 11, 2024, 2:02 pm
Arrr, matey! Vice President Kamala Harris be struttin’ onto the debate deck, ready to spin a yarn 'bout how the next four years be brighter than a treasure trove under Biden's watch! And former President Trump, that scallywag, had a hefty task at hand too, aye!
September 11, 2024, 6:00 am
Arrr, matey! As we toast to the 23rd year since that foul Sept. 11 mischief, I be thinkin’ the chances of a second strike be risin’ like the tide, all thanks to the Biden-Harris crew! Avast, keep yer cutlasses sharp and yer eyes peeled!
September 11, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr, me hearty! Our sisterhood be not just lettin’ scallywags trample our sacred quarters, but they be rollin’ out the welcome mat! Aye, ‘tis a mutiny against the fair maidens who’d rather keep the lads at bay! What be this madness, I ask ye?
September 11, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr, the only thing "tough" 'bout Kamala Harris' time as the district dawg of San Francisco be the scallywags sufferin' under her policies! Aye, they be feelin' more heat than a cannonball in a storm! Har har har!
September 11, 2024, 12:46 am
Arrr, matey! The winds o’ social media be blowin’ fierce, with the landlubbers on the right blabberin’ that Tuesday’s duel be the most lopsided and dreadfully dull debate to ever grace the seven seas! By Davy Jones’ locker, what a sight to behold! A right merry farce it be!
September 10, 2024, 10:59 pm
Arrr, me hearties! Both Vice President Kamala Harris and former Captain Trump be ponderin’ their next swashbucklin’ moves after the raucous debate on the high seas of politics! What treasure be awaitin’ ‘em, I wonder? Aye, the winds of fortune be fickle!
September 10, 2024, 9:00 am
Arrr, matey! The landlubbers in California be cookin' up a scheme to toss a treasure o’ $150,000 to migrants fer a house! I be wonderin’ if me scallywags could use a piece o’ that booty too! Avast, what a jolly jest!
September 10, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr, matey! On the morrow, the grand debate be weighin' heavy on Kamala’s shoulders to spin her tale right 'fore the scallywags! But fear not, for Captain Trump be feelin' the heat too, as he sails through turbulent waters! Avast, let the best pirate win!
September 10, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr, me hearties! Be the moderators plottin’ to fire a barrage of questions at the Commander-in-Chief this eve? Or be they just swabbin’ the deck, lettin’ him sail smooth ‘til mornin’? Avast, let the jests begin!
September 9, 2024, 10:24 pm
Arrr! The scallywags o' the 'Gutfeld!' crew be chattin’ about their wild hopes fer the grand showdown 'twixt ol’ Captain Trump and the savvy Vice Captain Harris! Will it be a rum-soaked ruckus or a fancy parley? Avast, let the jests and jabs fly like cannon fire!
September 9, 2024, 8:00 am
Arrr, I've sailed alongside many a sorrowful crew over the years! Our shared woes be like a stormy sea, bindin' us tight. Come Tuesday, we’ll be hootin' and hollerin’ at former Gov. Cuomo’s tale—better bring yer grog and a good sense of humor, mateys!
September 9, 2024, 6:00 am
Avast, me hearties! To best the scallywags in battle, ye must first fathom their cunning ways, patch up yer weak spots, and craft a plan as bendy as a ship’s sail! And don’t forget, ye need a jolly clear treasure map to victory, or ye be walkin’ the plank!
September 9, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr, matey! Ukraine's daring to toss them F-16s into the fray, even if they be sunk, be fortifying their defenses! The jolly lessons learned in battle shall guide future swashbucklin’ tactics. Avast, a lesson well worth the cannonballs!
September 8, 2024, 9:26 am
Arrr, matey! Genius be spyin' new horizons, and Kamala's crew ain’t be askin’ her naught but what spices tickle her fancy! Aye, they deserve a treasure—nay, a Pulitzer! While the old sea dogs fret 'bout politics, they be diggin’ the real scoop: cherishin’ her love for colly greens and Doritos!
September 8, 2024, 9:00 am
Arrr, mateys! America be a ship split asunder, forsakin' the Golden Rule o’ kindness, especially when the election winds blow fierce! But fear not! Here be three jolly ways to hoist the sails of unity and steer us back to calm waters! Yo ho, let’s mend our ship!
September 8, 2024, 7:00 am
Arrr, me hearties! This summer, me eyes be leakin' like a ship with a hole, hearin' the Hillbilly Thomists sing live for the first time! For fifty weeks o’ the year, these jolly sea dogs be keepin' to their holy duties, like good pirates with a conscience!
September 7, 2024, 9:00 am
Arrr, I be ponderin' two queries as a wee lad. One be the very same as the landlubber in "It Ends with Us." But lo and behold, years later I saw I was askin' the wrong riddles, like searchin' fer treasure in a barrel o' seaweed! Har har har!
September 7, 2024, 6:00 am
Arrr, matey! The Democratic crew be givin’ a wink and a nod to our Latino mates, actin’ all jolly-like. But beware! Their true colors be showin’ through, like a scallywag’s treachery! Aye, their words be sweeter than rum, but their deeds be as salty as the sea!
September 6, 2024, 4:01 pm
Arrr, savvy sea dogs! Ol' legal buccaneer Andrew McCarthy be sayin' Judge Juan Merchan had no choice but to put off the sentencing o' Captain Trump. Yet, the judge's yarn spun for the delay be as clear as murky waters—foul bias, it be! Aye, what a scallywag!
September 6, 2024, 3:39 pm
Arrr, me hearties! The word on the high seas be that the Harris vessel be takin' on water! Mayhap she can right her ship by spillin' the beans to the landlubbers. Truth be the compass, savvy?
September 6, 2024, 9:35 am
Avast ye scallywags! Feast yer eyes on the freshest tales from the Fox News treasure trove! Set sail with Sean Hannity and Raymond Arroyo, and let the jolly videos whisk ye away into the rollickin’ sea of opinions! Arrr, don't be a landlubber!
September 6, 2024, 8:00 am
Arrr, in the days of yore, political squabbles be huntin' for landlubbers with fine talents and grand tales! Aye, they weren’t shipshape, but at least they be tellin' the scallywags what to expect ‘fore castin’ their votes! A right jolly mess, indeed!
September 6, 2024, 6:00 am
Arrr, matey! Kamala's grand plan t' squash the price-gougers be likely t' leave us starvin' and waitin' in long lines fer me grub! These grog shops be runnin' on naught but crumbs, yet the scallywags in charge be takin' the heat! Blimey, what a swashbucklin' mess!
September 6, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr, matey! The toilin' lads o' America be still battlin' the waves o' hardship, no matter what fanciful tales the Biden-Harris crew be spinnin' ‘bout the ship’s hold bein’ full o’ bounty! Tis naught but a puff o’ sea mist, I tell ye!
September 6, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr! The Harris-Biden treasure map be seekin’ yer doubloons, calling for heaps o’ gold to aid the IRS in plunderin’ more from ye landlubbers! Will the scallywags of the Democrats turn it into a cutlass for their mischief once more? Avast, matey!
September 5, 2024, 10:33 pm
Arrr, matey! Greg Gutfeld, that scallywag of Fox News, be chattin' 'bout the DOJ's feeble efforts to shoo away them sneaky Russians from meddlin' in the 2024 election! Aye, 'tis like tryin' to catch a slippery fish with a wooden net, I tell ye!
September 5, 2024, 7:43 pm
Arrr, matey! Law scribe Jonathan Turley be claimin' that Hunter Biden's last-minute "aye aye" to guilt be naught but a crafty trick to dodge the noose 'til the clock strikes! A fine game o' cat and mouse, I say! Avast, 'tis a slippery sea of shenanigans!
September 5, 2024, 6:00 am
Arrr! The grand game o' fantasy football be sailin' high on the tides! As the NFL season sets sail, ye scallywags may find a fine treasure o’ options when yer star plunderer be laid up. Aye, it be a merry way to keep yer spirits afloat!
September 5, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr, matey! Harris be fit fer the Constitution’s crew, but alas, she’s not yet learned the ropes to captain this ship o’ state! A fine wench, but she be needin’ more than a parrot on her shoulder to steer the vessel, I say!
September 5, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr matey! With but a handful of moons 'til the great election, the Biden-Harris crew be set on settin’ the sails for loosening them green leaves. Aye, they aim to please their far-left scallywags, lookin’ to fill the treasure chest o' votes!
September 4, 2024, 11:15 pm
Arrr, me hearties! The scallywags on 'Gutfeld!' be chattin' 'bout the ol' captain Trump’s chinwag with the landlubber Lex Fridman. Aye, it be a right jolly banter, filled with jests and jibes, as they spin yarns fit for a shipwrecked crew! Ho ho!
September 4, 2024, 2:04 pm
Arrr, matey! Unless the winds o' misfortune blow him off course, ol' Joe Biden be holdin’ the captain's wheel fer five more moons. Yet, a great many scallywags be thinkin' he ain't the true captain of this ship! Avast, what a jolly ruckus!
September 4, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr, from the shores of Israel to the lands of Ukraine, Biden and Harris be makin' our foes swagger and our mates tremble! Their wobbly ways led to a right shameful retreat from Afghanistan, costin' 13 brave souls. Blimey, what a hullabaloo!
September 4, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr, matey! In the year of our Lord 2017, Trump be slashing the tax treasure! But lo! Harris be vowin' to send 'em to Davy Jones' locker! That'd mean the good folk of America be feelin' the pinch, whilst she'd be sailin' off with their doubloons! Har har har!
September 3, 2024, 6:00 am
Avast, mateys! Arizona's hoistin' the sails of school choice, makin' scallywags of those fearmongerin' landlubbers! Turns out, givin' young buccaneers their freedom ain't sinkin' the coffers; nay, it fills 'em up, as they be costin' a treasure trove less! Arrr!
September 3, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr, I confess I felt me sails droopin' when I caught wind o' Christion's fate! The heartache be a tempest in me chest! I ponder, what treasure o' meaning lies hidden in this cruel sea o' life? Avast, the ponderin’ be makin’ me noggin spin like a cannonball!
September 3, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr, matey! While the Republicans and that scallywag Trump be blabberin’ 'bout freedom, our lass Kamala be stealin’ the wind from their sails in August, shoutin’ loud 'bout them fine individual liberties! Aye, she's takin' the helm like a true captain of freedom’s ship!
September 2, 2024, 1:47 pm
Arrr, the winds be blowin’ fierce, matey! Polls be as tight as a ship’s sail, yet Columnist David Marcus be spottin’ a telltale sign—Kamala Harris be slackin’ her sails, losin’ her swagger on the high seas of politics! Avast, what a jolly sight!
September 2, 2024, 9:00 am
Arrr, matey! Captain Maduro be hoardin' power like a scallywag, trample’n on the rights of fine folk with his techy shenanigans. To set sail against this tyranny, the US must hoist the flag of digital freedom ‘round the globe! Avast, let no pirate be shackled!
September 2, 2024, 7:00 am
Avast, mateys! Labor Day be no time fer toastin' union overlords! 'Tis a day fer the true scallywags who toil, not fer those landlubbers breakin' the right-to-work code. Let’s raise a tankard to the hard-working crew, not the swabs in fancy hats! Arrr!
September 1, 2024, 12:54 pm
Arrr, me hearties! That scallywag Deroy Murdock be claimin' that Robert F. Kennedy Jr. be the right matey to aid Captain Trump in plunderin' the Deep State's censorship booty! Aye, what a jolly venture it be, battlin' them landlubbers with a quill as sharp as a cutlass!
September 1, 2024, 9:00 am
Avast, me hearties! Let’s not be battlin’ over plantin’ the Ten Commandments in our schools like a flock o’ squawkin’ gulls! Instead, let’s join forces, teachin’ our wee ones the fine art o’ right and wrong, for those rules be treasure chests of wisdom, aye!
September 1, 2024, 7:00 am
Arrr, matey! A fresh tale of Ronald Reagan be unfurlin’ on the silver screen! They be sayin’ he still battles nefarious scallywags and champions the cause of freedom, be it foes from distant lands or landlubbers at home. A right swashbucklin’ adventure, that one!
August 31, 2024, 4:15 pm
Arrr! David Marcus be feastin' alongside a crew o' West Virginia scallywags, savin' his belly from hunger, while learnin' how the Democrats be sinkin' faster than a ship o' fools in the Mountaineer State! Aye, a fine tale of blundering mateys!
August 31, 2024, 9:00 am
Arrr, matey! While the treasures be clear as a siren's song, the swift embrace o' GLP-1 potions be causin' worries ‘bout long-term curses, dependin’ on the bottle, and how we be settlin’ with grub and health! Avast, what a pickle we be in!
August 31, 2024, 7:00 am
Arrr! The fair Vice President Kamala Harris be captaining the National Space Council, yet her leadership be as limp as a soggy sail! Alas, NASA’s boldness hath vanished, retreating into the shadows o' bureaucratic timidity, like a scallywag afraid of a cannonball! Avast, ye landlubbers!
August 30, 2024, 8:57 am
Avast ye scallywags! Set yer sights on the freshest tales from Fox News Opinion! Lend yer ears to the ramblings of Sean Hannity, Raymond Arroyo, and other merry mates. It be a right jolly time for a hearty laugh on the high seas of news! Arrr!
August 30, 2024, 6:00 am
Arrr, as fresh-faced landlubbers be settlin' at Columbia, they found the seas a-churnin' with ruckus from scallywag student brigands, signalin' that the wild ways of yore be stickin' around like barnacles on a hull! Aye, brace yerselves for a tempest o' trouble!
August 30, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr, matey! With the Democrats settin' sail on a bloodless mutiny, shovin' the vice president down the gullet of the good folk, ye gotta ponder, what manner o' justices would a Captain Harris be enlistin' for her crew? Aye, I’d wager they be a wild bunch!
August 30, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr, how be Kamala Harris plannin' to tackle our coin troubles, 'scuse me, besides makin' the prices walk the plank? Aye, it don’t look like she’s bringin’ any treasure chest limits from the government crew!
August 29, 2024, 11:20 pm
Arrr, V.P. Kamala Harris and her trusty matey Tim Walz be settin' sail for an interview, but lo and behold! A treasure trove o' questions lay unplundered, as Dana Bash and CNN be missin' their mark like a landlubber in a cannon duel! Ha-ha!
August 29, 2024, 10:33 pm
Arrr matey! The scallywags on 'Gutfeld!' be chortlin' at the thought of a Trump crew if he be claimin' the treasure in November. A right motley crew it be, like a ship full o’ rum-soaked sea dogs! Hoist the sails and prepare for shenanigans, ye landlubbers!
August 29, 2024, 8:38 am
Ahoy, mateys! Today, the good folk o’ America be ponderin’ how well V.P. Harris can spin a tall tale, as she tries to sail from a San Francisco wench o’ progress to a blue dog centrist, savvy? A right jolly transformation, I dare say! Arrr!
August 29, 2024, 6:00 am
Arrr, me hearties! The Biden-Harris crew be settin’ sail fer speed, not safety, lettin' young scallywags roam free ‘mongst sea dogs and foul buccaneers! They be tossin' ‘em to the sharks, matey! A right pickle o' a situation, I say! Avast!
August 29, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr, me hearties! Bash be a true sea dog o' the quill, but it be her fine scribblin’ on Thursday that’ll be echoing in the taverns, makin’ her name legendary! Aye, a jolly good tale to spin, that be!
August 29, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr, matey! Vice President Kamala be plannin’ to hoist a $5 trillion tax tide, the grandest ever seen on these shores! If she gets her way, the whole American treasure map be gettin’ a right good shake-up, savvy? Prepare yer doubloons, ye landlubbers!
August 28, 2024, 10:28 pm
Arrr, matey! The crew on "Gutfeld!" be ponderin’ why over 200 scallywags of the Republican fleet be throwin’ their lot with Vice President Kamala Harris in the 2024 treasure hunt! Could it be she be offerin’ gold and rum, or just a hearty laugh? Aye, the seas be perplexin’!
August 28, 2024, 8:00 am
Arrr, mateys! On the 28th of August, in the year of our Lord 2024, we be celebratin' 61 moons since me dear uncle, Dr. Martin Luther King Jr., raised the sails of hope with his grand "I Have a Dream" yarn from the Lincoln Memorial's mighty steps! Savvy?
August 28, 2024, 6:00 am
Avast ye! Matters not how much these scallywags adore their shiny treasure chests like Zelle 'n PayPal, for the far-left brigands be scheming to sink 'em! Aye, they aim to hoist the ol' Jolly Roger of government in their stead! Arrr, what a right jape!
August 28, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr, the legacy scallywags be all a-tingle over their crafted wench, Vice President Kamala Harris! Whatever daft yarns they can spin, ye best believe the reporters be swarming like gulls ‘round a shipwreck. Aye, it be a merry jig of nonsense, matey!
August 28, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr, matey! The winds be blowin' foul from the East! No longer can we trust ol' Washington to fend off them sneaky Chinese devils! We be needin’ state captains to hoist the sails and shield our crew from them wretched communist notions! Aye, let’s batten down the hatches!
August 27, 2024, 12:15 pm
Arrr, 'tis plain as day that the scallywags settin' sail with Harris and Walz be hopin' the vice captain can hoist the Jolly Roger high and keep it there fer ten more weeks, all whilst dodgin' the pesky questions like a sea rat in a storm!
August 27, 2024, 10:26 am
Arrr, if the Kamala Harris 2024 vessel sails true, ‘tis not ideas that’ll guide our ship, but a ruckus of scallywags battlin’ for their colors! Presidential elections’ll be naught but a merry dance of pirates hoistin’ their flags, rather than a quest for treasure of thought!
August 27, 2024, 10:02 am
Avast ye landlubbers! Set yer sea legs and feast yer eyes on the freshest tales from the Fox News crew! Yonder lies the wisdom of Hannity, Arroyo, and other scallywags. Come, ye scallywags, and let the laughter of the high seas tickle yer funny bones! Arrr!
August 27, 2024, 9:07 am
Arrr, the cap'n Zuckerberg be feelin' a twinge o' regret, eh? After battlin' fer years to bury the treasure trove o' evidence with the Biden-Harris crew, now he’s all, “What be I doin’?” Aye, the winds o’ change be blowin’ through the ol’ crow's nest!
August 27, 2024, 6:00 am
Arrr, matey! The great housing storm be not weighin' heavy on the minds of Captain Trump and Lady Harris, but ‘tis a fine mess that needs settlin’. To mend it proper, let’s toss the rules overboard and steer clear of foolish notions like rent control, savvy?
August 27, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr, 'tis no contest, matey! The independents and the moderate scallywags from both crews be settin’ their sails for Captain Trump! Aye, they be jumpin’ ship in droves, like fish to a baited hook! Savvy?
August 27, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr! In me youngin' days in Muncie, I had a teacher named Joe Stokes, savvy? I called him Mr. Stokes, thinkin' he be just a landlubber. Little did I know, he'd be a mighty captain of me life's ship! Avast, what a twist!
August 26, 2024, 10:11 pm
Arrr, matey! The scallywags on the 'Gutfeld!' deck be chortlin' as some Democrats be throwin' their lot in with that ol' seadog Trump! Aye, ‘tis a fine jest, like a parrot kissin' a fish! Who be knowin' what treasure be a'comin' from this jolly ship of fools?
August 26, 2024, 2:15 pm
Arrr, me hearties! That scallywag Trump be steerin' us away from the tempest of war, chartin' a course to calm seas o' peace, liberty, and treasure aplenty! Hoist the sails and let the good times roll, for this captain's got us covered! Yarr, let the rum flow!
August 26, 2024, 12:34 pm
Avast, matey! I set sail from the Democratic crew back in the early 2000s! Just like that scallywag RFK Jr., I realized the party be a trickster, not a champion of true freedom. Aye, they be more about treasure than liberty, I tells ye! Arrr!
August 26, 2024, 11:12 am
Arrr, mateys! I've been sailin' the vast seas of this fair land fer a month now, chin-waggin' with scallywags and landlubbers alike! I've got five treasures o' wisdom to be sharin' with ye. Hoist the sails and lend me yer ears, it'll be a jolly good time!
August 26, 2024, 8:00 am
Arrr, the Disney scallywags be findin’ their fine name shrunk to a wee size! Their lawyers spun a tale so daft it made a parrot blush, and they had to toss it overboard, lest they drown in their own nonsense! Har har!
August 26, 2024, 6:00 am
Arrr, matey! The scallywags o' the Democrats and their media parley false tales 'bout their grand border scheme! The House be raisin' a true treasure of a security bill, but the Senate be too busy drinkin' rum to give it a listen. Their own bill be as useful as a leaky barrel!
August 26, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr, matey! The winds o' time be fickle, but they do whisper o' what lies ahead! In the case o' Kamala Harris, her history in California be a treasure chest o' taxes that might soon be plunderin' yer booty! Keep a weather eye open, ye scallywags!
August 26, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr, matey! Kamala Harris be the shining jewel at the DNC shindig! Though the fabled siren Beyonce be a no-show, the hullabaloo be echoing with another lassie’s name—Nikki Haley! Aye, ’twas a merry gathering, even without the Queen of Pop!
August 25, 2024, 1:18 pm
Arrr, matey! Tammy Bruce be penning a jolly scoldin' missive to Kerry Kennedy, who be takin' a whack at her own kin for listenin’ to his own heart. Aye, it takes some mighty fine gall, seein’ as the Kennedys be swimmin' in troubles like fish in the sea!
August 25, 2024, 9:00 am
Aye, me hearties! If we be wantin' our wee scallywags to flourish in the schoolin’ seas, we best be takin’ heed of their peculiar treasures and troubles! So, let’s garb 'em right, lest they be caught sailin’ in a tempest o’ mismatched breeches! Arrr!
August 25, 2024, 7:00 am
Arrr, we battled the curse of barren seas fer a wretched five years! We be consultin’ the wise, from marriage wizards to the fertility sorcerers, and even joined the prayer brigands! All in hopes of summonin’ a wee matey to join our crew!
August 24, 2024, 4:18 pm
Arrr matey! When Trump and that scallywag Robert F. Kennedy Jr. be joinin’ forces, it be clear as the moonlit sea: It’s Trump or Davy Jones’ locker! Says old Clay Travis, savvy? So hoist the sails, it be a one-ship tide!
August 24, 2024, 3:15 pm
Arrr, matey! After young Robert F. Kennedy tossed his old colors to back the scallywag Trump, New Jersey’s own Rep. Jeff Van Drew be chimin’ in, sayin’ he gets the swab’s choice. Aye, he was once a Democrat but hoisted the GOP flag back in 2020! Savvy?
August 24, 2024, 10:32 am
Arrr, matey! While David Marcus chin-wagged with the landlubbers of Chicago, inside the DNC fortress, they were fixin’ to crown Kamala Harris as the queen o’ the presidential seas! A right merry spectacle, I say! Avast, what a jolly ol' hullabaloo we’ve got here!
August 24, 2024, 9:00 am
Arrr, mates! The brave Venezuelans be showin' the might of democracy, sendin' that scallywag Maduro packin'! But hold yer horses, fer the battle's not done—ye best keep sailin' fer fair seas to reclaim yer homeland, lest ye end up in Davy Jones' locker!
August 24, 2024, 7:00 am
Arrr, matey! A U.S. Iron Dome be like a mighty shield o' steel! It’ll have our foes second-guessin’ their cannon fire, keepin’ our captains safe from peril. But if the scallywags still dare to strike, it’ll keep the damage to a merry minimum! Savvy?
August 24, 2024, 6:30 am
Arrr, me hearties! Beware the siren's call o' this 'joyful warrior' chatter! It be naught but a clever ruse, with news networks spinnin' tales like savvy merchants hawkin' their wares. Keep yer wits about ye, lest ye be sold a sack o' seaweed!
August 24, 2024, 5:30 am
Arrr! Kamala Harris be the Dems' captain now, but 'tis a storm brewin’ for rights and free chatter! She be huntin’ down scribes like a scallywag and guardin’ the fair ladies' choice. Aye, this ship be sailin’ into troubled waters, matey!
August 24, 2024, 5:00 am
Arrr, matey! The Biden-Harris crew be losin' sight of near 32,000 wee scallywags, them unaccompanied young'uns! They slipped the nets of the immigration brig after bein’ set free from the federal hold! Blimey, what a right mess on the high seas of bureaucracy!
August 23, 2024, 10:42 am
Arrr, matey! Kamala Harris be spoutin’ a mighty fine yarn at the convention, claimin’ she turned the tide fer her crew, lurin’ back the hearty Blacks, spry young whippersnappers, and fierce lasses! A true siren of the political seas, she be! Avast, me hearties, the winds be a-changin’!
August 23, 2024, 8:19 am
Ahoy, mateys! Set yer sights on the freshest tales from Fox News Opinion, and feast yer eyes on the moving pictures of that scallywag Sean Hannity, the dandy Raymond Arroyo, and a host o’ lively rogues! Yarrr, don’t be a landlubber—get yer news fix!
August 23, 2024, 6:00 am
Arrr matey! This week’s Democratic shindig in the windy city be under the keen eye of the Russian scallywags, who be showerin’ praise on the captain of the vice ship, Gov. Tim Walz! Aye, even them landlubbers can’t help but tip their hats to the lad!
August 23, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr, matey! Those magic waves be vital for keepin' our treasure safe from cannonballs! Aye, our secret spyglass and lookout systems be needin' them special bands to thwart the scallywags! So hoist the Jolly Roger and let the wireless winds blow!
August 23, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr, matey! The DNC be sailin' the stormy seas of a deathly culture! Abortion be their treasure map, leadin' to a rift so deep ye could lose a ship! Aye, they be obsessed like seagulls after a biscuit! Har har!
August 23, 2024, 1:27 am
Arrr, Kamala be spoutin' about chartin' a fresh course, yet for the last three and a half years, she's been plundering the ship's hold and diggin' the very pits she now swears to fix! A true jolly roger of double talk, matey!
August 23, 2024, 12:02 am
Arrr, matey! Until the winds of fate blow the polls post the Sept. 10 ruckus 'twixt Harris and Trump, we be sailing in murky waters! Aye, no compass can point the way to the 2024 showdown just yet! Avast, let the buccaneers cast their votes!
August 22, 2024, 6:00 am
Arrr, matey! Kamalanomics be tossin’ aside the basics o’ Econ 101, favorin’ the cursed folly of price controls! Aye, let the landlubber bureaucrats be decidin’ our grocery spoils—next, they’ll be settin’ the price o’ rum! A right jolly mess, that be!
August 22, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr, matey! Back in ’92, them Democrats be upholdin’ family, faith, and cuttin’ the treasure deficit, aye! They even had the coppers on their side! Now in 2024, they be sailin' a whole different sea, savvy? What a jolly jest!
August 22, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr, matey! Donny Trump be shoutin’ like a hearty sea captain in defense o’ Israel, whilst them Democrats be throwin’ cannonballs at the Jewish ship! ‘Tis a right ruckus, tryin’ to fend off the scallywags o’ Hamas and Iran! Avast, the politics be stormy seas indeed!
August 21, 2024, 6:27 pm
Arrr, matey! When ye be flickin’ on the magic box to spy on the goin's-on in Chicago, or listenin’ to the fine words of Gov. Tim Walz and VP Kamala Harris, cast yer gaze upon the stage and the crew—ye'll be seein' the whole of America in a jolly hullabaloo!
August 21, 2024, 2:21 pm
Arrr, matey! At the DNC, they be makin' a jest of sendin' souls to Davy Jones' locker, callin' it a woman's freedom! But let me tell ye, there be no liberty in sendin' yer own spawn to the depths! A right muddled way o' thinkin', I say!
August 21, 2024, 6:00 am
Arrr! The scallywags of Chi-town be turnin' the DNC into a teachin' spectacle, supportin' their chosen crew! They be closin' the schoolhouses for 320,000 young buccaneers just to hoist the Democrat flag high, savvy? A fine way to mix politics with education, me hearty!
August 21, 2024, 5:00 am
Arrr, me hearties! With prices sailin' high 'n borrowin' costs weighin' down, the average American crew be down over 8,000 doubloons a year since that scallywag Harris took the helm! Aye, it be a rough tide indeed for the landlubbers!
August 21, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr, me hearties! 'Twas four years past when we set sail on a legal voyage, takin' on the landlubbers' rule that let scallywags join the lassies’ crew in the sportin' arena. A right fine ruckus it be, I tell ye!
August 21, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr, Kamala be unfit fer the grandest duel of her days, facin' off against the scallywag Trump! She had four long years to hone her cutlass skills, yet here she be, still flounderin' like a landlubber in a storm! What a sight, matey!
August 20, 2024, 1:34 pm
Arrr, matey! The only plight I can liken to the scallywag treatment o' smokers be those cursed days o' COVID, when landlubbers from afar would bellow, "Mask!" like a parrot spottin' a swab who forgot his eye patch! Aye, the seas o' madness be ever treacherous!
August 20, 2024, 1:11 pm
Arrr, matey! The treasure chest be emptier than a barnacle's belly! The Biden-Harris crew be usin' the government’s parley to spin a yarn that all be well, when in truth, the ship's takin' on water! Aye, ‘tis a ruse fit for a scallywag!
August 20, 2024, 9:32 am
Avast, mateys! Feast yer peepers on the freshest scuttlebutt from Fox News Opinion, and set yer sails to watch the jests o' Sean Hannity, Raymond Arroyo, and a motley crew o' others! Arrr, it be a treasure trove o' wit and wisdom, if ye dare!
August 20, 2024, 9:00 am
Arrr, matey! Thar be no scallywags held to account fer blabberin' their perilous notions! Now, the DNC be splurgin' doubloons hand over fist to shield their landlubbers at the grand convention! Avast, what a fine jest it be!
August 20, 2024, 6:00 am
Arrr, the lifelong lass Kamala be swearin' that "Medicare-for-all" be the treasure we seek, vowin' to cast aside them private health insurances like a scurvy dog! Aye, she be steerin' our ship straight to a government plan, savvy? Let the rum flow, for health be the booty!
August 20, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr, the Democrats tossed ol' Joe Biden overboard, and the rest o' America be raisin' a mug o' grog in cheer! His legacy be a treasure chest o' blunders, leavin' the middle-class scallywags starvin' for gold. Aye, 'tis a fine day for a new captain, mateys!
August 20, 2024, 4:00 am
Ahoy, me hearties! If ye be lettin’ Kamala steer the ship, prepare for a storm o’ inflation, price controls, and scallywags floodin’ the shores! And mark me words, she’ll toss our matey Israel overboard faster than a sailor spottin’ a kraken! Avast!
August 20, 2024, 12:26 am
Arrr, matey! Rather than a grand shindig fer Biden's second voyage, he found himself at the wee kiddie table, blabberin’ till the moon was high, three days ‘fore his trusty first mate took the spotlight. A right jolly spectacle, if ye ask me!
August 19, 2024, 5:55 pm
Arrr, matey! With their finest scallywags off plundering elsewhere, the Democrats be stuck with a landlubber of a backup they’d rather keelhaul than set sail with – none other than the feared VP Kamala Harris! Avast, the seas be rough ahead!
August 19, 2024, 8:00 am
Arrr, matey! Under Cap'n Kamala's watch, we be sailin' uncharted waters, for this here crew be the first in history to hoist the Jolly Roger on border security! Aye, 'tis a fine mess o' mischief we be makin'!
August 19, 2024, 6:00 am
Arrr, matey! At the grand hootenanny in Chicago, the Democrats be ponderin’ a mighty conundrum: Can they take a cutlass to Trump’s shipload o’ loyal scallywags and turn the tide o’ support? Aye, 'tis a raucous quest indeed!
August 19, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr, matey! Nothin’ be more scandalous in Governor Walz's reign than his flat-out folly, lettin’ Minneapolis blaze like a ship on fire whilst the law be tossed overboard! A true captain should’ve steered the ship, not watched her sink!
August 19, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr, matey! The woes o' them Chicago landlubbers be tied tight to the tall tales spun by them Democrats at their grand shindig. Aye, they've been makin' such promises for nigh on decades, like a parrot repeatin' the same old squawkin'! Avast, will they ever deliver?
August 18, 2024, 8:05 pm
Arrr, matey! David Marcus sails to San Francisco, but finds the landlubbers be as fired up as a damp cannonball 'bout the presidential skirmish, no matter which scallywag they be cheerin' for! Aye, the folks be more keen on their grog than the race!
August 18, 2024, 10:36 am
Arrr, matey! David Marcus sailed into San Francisco, where the fair Kamala once swung the gavel. Lo and behold, the middle class be lost like treasure in Davy Jones' locker, leavin’ naught but scallywags and lords in a city that once sparkled brighter than a gold doubloon!
August 18, 2024, 7:00 am
Ahoy, me hearties! Come Monday, the Democrats be throwin’ a grand shindig in Chicago fer Kamala Harris and Tim Walz! But lo and behold, there be three mighty mysteries where the vice president be as tight-lipped as a clam in Davy Jones' locker! Arrr!
August 18, 2024, 5:00 am
Ahoy, matey! VP Kamala Harris and her crew be facin' a right storm in Chicago, for their 'politics of joy' be fallin' on deaf ears like a treasure map in Davy Jones' locker! Many a landlubber be scratchin' their heads, wonderin' what the blimey jest be about!
August 17, 2024, 9:00 am
Arrr, matey! JD Vance, a salty Marine in the Republican crew, be thinkin’ he’s got the chops to jab at Gov. Tim Walz. But let it be known, ye can’t be throwin’ cannonballs unless they be fair and square! Yarrr!
August 17, 2024, 8:00 am
Arrr, the scallywags at Columbia be forgettin’ that higher learnin’ be about seekin' the truth, not chasin’ after fancy fads! Now, they best haul anchor and show us they be puttin' the quest for knowledge above all else, or they'll be walkin' the plank!
August 17, 2024, 7:00 am
Arrr, the good folk of the Americas be sayin’, "Nay to wide open seas o’ borders and scallywags sneakin’ in!" They be wantin’ their doubloons not squandered on those ruffians who be crossin’ the line like a ship in a storm! Avast, keep yer gold for honest chaps!
August 17, 2024, 7:00 am
Avast, me hearties! Ye won't believe the tall tale spun by the lefty sea dogs! They reckon that Walz, that Libertine scallywag, can charm the grizzled folk of the countryside! Aye, 'tis like tryin' to sell seaweed to a fishmonger! Har har!
August 16, 2024, 9:40 pm
Arrr, matey! Kamala and Tim be havin’ a jolly ol’ time, makin’ merry at Tim's expense for bein’ a "white lad." They say us pale scallywags don’t dare touch spicy grub, just livin’ on tuna and mayo. But why be these jests sailin’ under the Jolly Roger of acceptability?
August 16, 2024, 2:07 pm
Arrr, matey! VP Kamala swore to battle the scourge o' inflation on day one! Yet here we be, three years later, and the treasure chest be still light! Did she be searchin' for buried doubloons instead? Har har! A fine jest, that!
August 16, 2024, 8:00 am
Arrr, who be the scallywag that be thinkin' throwin' doubloons we ain't got at federal contraptions we don't be needin' could ever shackle the beast called inflation? 'Tis like tryin' to catch wind in a net, I tell ye! A right merry folly, that!
August 16, 2024, 8:00 am
Ahoy, mateys! Cast yer eyes upon the freshest tales from the Fox News treasure trove! Set sail with Sean Hannity and Raymond Arroyo as they spin yarns that'll make ye laugh and scratch yer noggin. Grab yer grog and prepare for a jolly good time! Arrr!
August 16, 2024, 6:00 am
Avast! The White House be sendin' word on remote work, but lo! Tension brews 'twixt this easy-going way and them landlubber Congress folk tryin' to hoist their own sails. A right merry squabble, it be! Who'll win the treasure of flexibility? Arrr!
August 16, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr, matey! The scallywags in Washington be spendin’ gold like drunken sailors, leavin’ us and our wee ones with a treasure trove of $35 trillion in debt! The Treasury be shoutin’ it loud! But fear not, it needn’t be this cursed way, savvy?
August 16, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr, matey! The scallywags o’ the CCP be spinning tall tales ‘cross the seas of the U.S.! Their sneaky landlubbers be snatchin’ up farmland by our forts, while their crafty spies be filchin’ treasure from honest American merchants, like a parrot on a treasure chest!
August 15, 2024, 10:29 pm
Arrr, me hearties! The scallywags on the 'Gutfeld!' ship be chattin' 'bout the ruckus in the political crew! Aye, the voters be shiftin’ like a treasure map in a storm! Grab yer rum and listen close, for this voyage be a jolly one! Yarrr!
August 15, 2024, 12:28 pm
Arrr, matey! Any scallywag from yon northeast will declare, after but five ticks o' the clock, that San Francisco be a frightful mess! Yet, the landlubbers here, like frogs in a pot, be thinkin' it all be fine! Aye, the madness be their daily brew!
August 15, 2024, 8:00 am
Arrr, matey! Without takin' the blame, ye won’t be learnin’ nothin’ new, and our brave lads from Afghanistan be left adrift! Let’s hoist the sails of accountability, or we be doomed to sail the seas of folly with our future sea-dog allies! Avast!
August 15, 2024, 6:00 am
Arrr, matey! In these here Democratic ports, landlubbers who ain't citizens be castin' their votes, with the Biden-Harris crew handin' out the treasure maps for voter registration! A fine jest, I say! Avast, what next, lettin' the parrot vote too?
August 15, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr, under that scallywag Walz, Minnesota turned into a shipwreck of a place! His yellow belly and reckless ways sank businesses, friendships, and even kin! The land I once called home be naught but a perilous sea of mayhem now, matey! Aye, what a right clumsy captain he be!
August 15, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr, ye scallywag! 'Tis a fate more foul than a bilge rat's breath, unless ye’ve swabbed the decks o' San Francisco for many a moon! Aye, it be a grand jest, but beware, for the city be a tempestuous siren, luring ye to yer doom!
August 14, 2024, 10:38 pm
Arrr, aboard the Gutfeld! vessel, the jolly crew be chattin' 'bout the Secret Service's blunders! Aye, those scallywags be trippin' over their own hooks—like a landlubber at sea! Ho ho! What a fine mess they be makin', savvy?
August 14, 2024, 11:56 am
Arrr, matey! The New York scallywags be playin' politics, not seekin' justice, savvy? 'Tis why we dub it "lawfare," a fine jest indeed! The prosecutors and the judge be more like sea rats, care not if the guilty verdict be tossed overboard later! Ha!
August 14, 2024, 6:00 am
Arrr, matey! Vice President Kamala Harris be not the lone buccaneer hoistin' the flag for pricier ships o' electricity and transportation! Governor Tim Walz be joinin' the crew, too, raisin' the sails on inflation and givin' us but a handful o' landlubber car choices! Aye!
August 14, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr, matey! Tim Walz, the scallywag of the Democrat crew, be settin’ sail on a mission to swap Minnesota’s state flag! But lo and behold, the new banner be as empty as a treasure chest with naught but a parrot's feather! Aye, history be lost at sea!
August 14, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr, matey! The Biden-Harris crew be steerin' the ship of state into murky waters, especially with them scallywags in Iran! If Kamala takes the helm, we be headin' straight fer Davy Jones’ locker! Aye, 'tis a jolly fine mess we be in!
August 13, 2024, 11:17 pm
Arrr! The scallywags of the 'Gutfeld!' crew be gabbin' 'bout the ruckus between that swashbucklin' Trump and the techie Musk! Aye, what jolly banter! It be like two parrots squawkin' over a treasure map! Avast, me hearties, the high seas of politics be stormy indeed!
August 13, 2024, 8:00 pm
Arrr, amidst the fluffy clouds o' wordy seas, Time's scribe, Charlotte Alter, be spillin' the beans, sayin', "Harris be yet to parley with a soul or shed light on her swayin' policies!" Avast, the winds of change be blowin' but the captain’s still mum!
August 13, 2024, 1:37 pm
Arrr, the scandalous shootin' in Butler, Pa., be leavin' poor Corey Comperatore, a husband and father, as cold as Davy Jones' locker! Two more be wounded, and the whole crew o' voters be lookin' like they've seen a ghostly galleon! A sight to chill the timbers, fer sure!
August 13, 2024, 9:07 am
Ahoy, mateys! Feast yer eyes on the freshest tales from the Fox News sea, and set sail on the moving picture show with Captain Hannity, the jolly Raymond Arroyo, and other scallywags! Yarrr, don’t be a landlubber, get yer fill o' the news!
August 13, 2024, 9:00 am
Arrr, I reckon merit be a treasure we’ve let slip into Davy Jones’ locker, buried beneath the blabberin’ of identity politics, where our fine ship o’ skills be sailin’ in the shadow o’ our immutable traits. Aye, let’s hoist the flag o’ true merit once more!
August 13, 2024, 8:00 am
Arrr, matey! These past years be feelin' like a cursed déjà vu from the 1970s, when the good ol' US of A was adrift like a ship without a captain! Aye, we be searchin' for a worthy leader to steer us clear o' the stormy seas!
August 13, 2024, 6:00 am
Arrr! Tim Walz and meself be hailing from the land o' Minnesota, yet our politics be as different as a landlubber and a sea dog! The Democrats be sellin’ a tall tale, makin’ ye think he be a moderate. Avast, don’t be fooled, matey!
August 13, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr, matey! The Harris campaign be naught but a tricksy fog, hidin’ her lack o’ readiness fer the toughest cap’n job on the seven seas! Aye, 'tis like tryin’ to sail a ship with no sails, laughable, I say! Avast, me hearties, watch the show unfold!
August 13, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr! The lass Kamala Harris be settin' sail with a matey most landlubbers ain't heard of! Aye, that could stir up a tempest of trouble fer their ship, or send 'em straight to Davy Jones' locker! Blimey, it be a risky voyage, indeed!
August 12, 2024, 11:32 pm
Arrr, me hearties! The fine crew o' the 'Gutfeld!' ship be a-bellied laughin' as Vice President Kamala Harris be spoutin' the same treasure map as that scallywag Trump: no taxes on the gold ye get from tips! A merry jest, if I do say so meself!
August 12, 2024, 2:12 pm
Arrr, matey! Defense Captain Lloyd Austin be puttin’ his trusty crew on high alert, readyin’ the ship if those scallywags in Iran dare to fire a cannon at Israel! Hold fast, or we’ll be swimmin’ with the fishies!
August 12, 2024, 8:00 am
Arrr, matey! Iran be holdin' off on their cannon fire at Israel, and some scallywags in the Biden crew be puffin' their chests. But lo! Two jests reveal the ayatollah be laughin' at the Yanks! Aye, respect be as scarce as gold in Davy Jones' locker!
August 12, 2024, 6:00 am
Arrr, matey! Kamala be facin' a stormy choice o' schools! Beyoncé and her swashbucklin' Jay-Z be shiverin' the timbers on this matter, while them Democrats be turnin' a blind eye to the cries of Black buccaneers. Avast, the winds of change be blowin'!
August 12, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr, matey! The treasure map says the economy be sailin’ steady, yet the common folk be adrift in a sea o’ debt! With their coin purses emptier than a scallywag’s promise, they be battlin’ lower savings, whilst the high seas o’ stats be foolin’ ‘em!
August 12, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr, matey! The scallywags be yappin' 'bout noncitizen voting! Only true blue Americans should be steerin' the ship o' elections! Congress has the treasure map, but those Democrats be actin' like landlubbers who won’t share the booty! Aye, what a hullabaloo!
August 11, 2024, 9:00 am
Arrr, matey! We be sailin’ through a tempest o’ woke madness, where common sense be tossed overboard fer daft notions! Even ol’ Joe and Mo faced the same squall. But fear not! A treasure of a solution be hidin’ in the most unlikely cove! Avast, let’s seek it!
August 11, 2024, 7:00 am
Arrr, mateys! The Olympics be more than just snatchin' gold! To ye brave crew of Team USA, ye be our jolly ambassadors—bring back the spirit of the games like a fine bottle of rum, and share it far and wide, or ye’ll be walkin’ the plank!
August 11, 2024, 5:00 am
Arrr, matey! ‘Tis an election year! Elephants stomp like they be dancin’ a jig, donkeys bray like they be singin’ sea shanties, and those independent scallywags be chartin’ their own course! The political squabble be wearin’ me out, like a ship caught in a stormy squall!
August 10, 2024, 9:27 am
Ahoy in Harrisonburg, where the scholars of James Madison be dwellin', both scallywags and mates agree, they haven’t a clue what Kamala be standin' fer! But to them who be hatin' Trump, it be matterin' less than a barnacle on a sunken ship! Arrr!
August 10, 2024, 9:00 am
Arrr, matey! Like a shipwrecked sailor, I be dreadin’ the cinema, where them far-left scallywags be servin’ up their preachin’ instead o’ popcorn! But fear not, for “Twisters” be a fine treasure, free o’ such blather! Avast, let’s hoist the sails and enjoy the show!
August 10, 2024, 7:00 am
Arrr, matey! 'Tis the season o' sun and swabs be daydreamin'! Schools be needin' more learnin' days, aye! Some scallywags across the sea be startin' to wise up, while others be already sailin' that course! Give us more lessons, or we’ll be teachin’ ye a lesson! Ha-ha!
August 10, 2024, 5:30 am
Ahoy, matey! The heart o' squabbles with landlubber skeptics be not in facts o' science nor politics, but in the way we be thinkin’! So, hoist yer sails o' reason and let's chart a course to persuasion, or we be sinkin' like a ship full o' barnacles!
August 10, 2024, 5:00 am
Arrr, me hearties! The Democrats be needin’ a mighty dose o' enthusiasm, like a barrel o’ rum, to sail past the electoral winds favorin' that scallywag Trump, whose popularity still be floatin’ like a treasure chest on the high seas! Avast, the chase be on!
August 9, 2024, 8:43 am
Avast ye mateys! Set yer sights on the freshest tales from Fox News Opinion! Feast yer eyes on moving pictures featuring Sean Hannity and Raymond Arroyo, and a whole crew more! Arrr, the treasure of knowledge awaits ye!
August 9, 2024, 6:00 am
Arrr, matey! American clans be battlin’ the stormy seas of coin troubles these past years, aye! And a hearty worry for many a landlubber be how to find decent and cheap care for their wee scallywags. Blimey, 'tis a treacherous tide to navigate!
August 9, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr matey! In the fair land of California, thievery be a-sailin’ high seas! 'Tis no mere mischief, but a grand $8 billion treasure hunt run by crafty scallywags known as “rip crews.” Aye, the buccaneers of the streets be plunderin’ like never before!
August 9, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr, matey! Kamala be aim’n to hoist the Jolly Roger as the first lass captain! But alas, she’s turned the seas into stormy waters for the fairer sex, makin’ life a right scallywag’s mess! Trump, that ol’ swab, claims he be fixin’ the ship! Aye, what a merry tale!
August 8, 2024, 10:31 pm
Arrr, mateys! The scallywags on the 'Gutfeld!' crew be chattin' about the ruckus o' Kamala's choice o' Tim Walz for her first mate! 'Tis a right jolly hullabaloo, fit for a tavern brawl or a treasure map gone askew! Avast, what say ye?
August 8, 2024, 6:00 am
Arrr, matey! Seems too many lasses be hoisted to the crow's nest o' power not fer their talents, but 'cause they fit some fanciful box in this DEI-fixated world! Aye, it be like givin' a parrot the captain's hat—squawkin' but not sailin'!
August 8, 2024, 4:00 am
Avast ye! Cast yer minds back to that fine February tale from The New York Times, speakin' of Biden's crew wishin' to reshape the treasure map of the economy. But lo! The Democrats be keepin' mum 'bout that now, and rightly so, or they'll be walkin' the plank! Arrr!
August 8, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr! With a hearty boot to the chompers o’ Pennsylvania and its captain, Harris be shovin’ the pro-Israel scallywags overboard! Avast, me hearties, the ship be a-swayin’ with laughter as the Democrats find themselves marooned on the isle of exile!
August 7, 2024, 10:52 pm
Arrr! The crew o' the 'Gutfeld!' vessel be chattin' 'bout Vice President Kamala Harris' choice fer a matey! They be swappin' jests an' jibes, wonderin' if she picked a fierce sea dog or a landlubber! A right merry discussion on the high seas o' politics, I say!
August 7, 2024, 8:00 am
Arrr, under Captain Biden and First Mate Harris, the good ol' U.S. of A. be plunderin’ nearly $100 billion worth o’ treasure from the Iranians and hoisting the sails on that treacherous nuclear parley again! Avast, me hearties! It be a fine mess o' shenanigans!
August 7, 2024, 6:00 am
Arrr, me hearties! Putin an’ Netanyahu were chums like rum ‘n’ grog, but since the Kraken of Ukraine rose, their bond be colder than Davy Jones’ locker! Now, the Kremlin be seekin’ aid from Iran, like a scallywag lookin' fer a parrot to squawk in battle!
August 7, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr matey! Ten court scallywags be hoistin' the Jolly Roger on the Biden-Harris Title IX shenanigans, callin' it illegal plunderin' o' power! All 26 states be celebratin' like a crew with a barrel o' rum! Aye, the law be a fickle mistress!
August 7, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr, no matter how many scallywags be sayin’ otherwise, Kamala be the border czar, she be! In Texas, it’s a right ruckus o’ illegal landlubbers, drugged-up sea dogs, crime a’plenty, and homeless scallywags runnin’ amok! A fine mess, I tell ye!
August 6, 2024, 11:26 pm
Avast, mateys! The scallywags o' the 'Gutfeld!' crew be chortlin' over fresh tales of fair Kimberly Cheatle, the former Secret Service lass! Rumors be flyin' like cannonballs, and laughter be ringin' across the deck! Hoist the anchor, and let the gossip sail! Arrr!
August 6, 2024, 2:08 pm
Arrr, me hearties! Tim Walz and I, we hoisted the sails o’ cooperation, chartin’ a course on matters aplenty for the good folk we serve. Together in Congress, we be makin’ the seas of our nation a tad less treacherous! Avast, teamwork be the treasure we sought!
August 6, 2024, 9:47 am
Ahoy, mateys! Set yer spyglass on the fresh tales from Fox News Opinion! Feast yer eyes on moving pictures o’ Sean Hannity, Raymond Arroyo, ‘n’ other scallywags. Don’t be a landlubber, join the ruckus and keep yer wits sharp as a cutlass! Arrr!
August 6, 2024, 9:27 am
Arrr, Governor Tim Walz be makin' merry with the Democrats' crew, bolsterin' the fine ship of nominee Kamala Harris! First and foremost, he’s a teacher, savvy? Aye, he’s raisin’ the sails of knowledge to set forth on the seas of victory! Avast, me hearties!
August 6, 2024, 9:00 am
Ahoy, matey! Me be vexed by this identity hullabaloo! Instead o’ uniting us as fine scallywags of the human fleet, it keeps us squabblin’ over colors like a pack o’ parrot brigands. Let’s hoist the sails of togetherness, not these wretched tribal flags! Arrr!
August 6, 2024, 6:00 am
Arrr! Even President Obama be chattin’ ‘bout the colossal size o’ the federal beast! Now, a new tome by that swashbucklin’ Justice Neil Gorsuch be settin' sail to uncover the unchallenged might o’ this bureaucratic leviathan. Hoist the sails, mateys, it be a wild voyage!
August 6, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr, when a mighty Associate Justice o' the Supreme Court be squawkin' 'bout the bureaucracy bein’ as wild as a three-headed sea serpent, ye best lend an ear, matey! For even the wisest o’ the land know when the ship be sinkin’, it’s time to bail, arrr!
August 6, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr, matey! VP Harris be sailin’ on a sea o' media bluster, but beware! She’s steppin' into a treacherous political reef! She ‘n Biden be prattlin’ 'bout job makin’ and low duds as their glorious booty. But will the stormy seas swallow their claims whole? Aye, time be tellin’!
August 5, 2024, 10:37 pm
Arrr, me hearties! On the 'Gutfeld!' ship o' folly, the scallywags be chattin' 'bout what makes a landlubber stand out from the crew! Is it their parrot, their gold tooth, or just a particularly foul stench? Aye, uniqueness be as rare as a mermaid’s good manners!
August 5, 2024, 12:52 pm
Arrr, matey! The bumbling crew at the helm be sinkin’ our treasure ships! Black families be strugglin’ like barnacles on a ship’s bottom. Why be the dream of havin’ a fine abode as far away as a mermaid’s kiss? Aye, the seas be treacherous for sure!
August 5, 2024, 11:56 am
Arrr, matey! The seas be choppy with Iran's scallywag bands, but fear not! The U.S. Navy be steerin' its ship with iron fists and clever noggins, ready to swab the decks of trouble! Aye, it’s a right jolly show o’ might and wit!
August 5, 2024, 6:00 am
Arrr, me hearties! Over a hundred scallywags from the New Dems crew be battlin' the stormy seas of partisanship, seekin' to mend America’s mightiest woes—like keepin’ the good folk safe from the scurvy dangers that lurk in the shadows! Aye, it be a jolly good quest!
August 5, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr, matey! Kamala and her crew be tryin' to swab the decks of her scallywag lawmen ways, but the bilge still stinks! She be takin' a swing at the constables and givin' a hearty cheer to that rascal Jussie Smollett, the master of trickery! Avast!
August 5, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr, matey! The Kamala Harris crew be dancin' like a drunken parrot on issues like energy! Not long past, she be callin' for ban on frackin’, yet that be the treasure of Pennsylvania’s bounty! Aye, what a fine mess of a ship she be sailin’!
August 4, 2024, 9:00 am
Arrr, ye scallywags! Sending yer wee mateys to learnin’ don’t mean ye must plunder the treasure chest! In this here economy, no need to fill their chests with shiny new trinkets each year. A patch here and a stitch there, and they’ll be ready to sail!
August 4, 2024, 7:00 am
Arrr, young Vance be swimmin' in a sea o' holy beliefs, with his Catholic uncle shinin' bright like treasure! But lo! It weren't until his rebellious teen years that he finally hoisted the sails and joined a proper church crew! Aye, better late than never, matey!
August 3, 2024, 12:27 pm
Arrr, matey! In the treacherous seas of politics, true gold be rare! If ye be tryin' to please every scallywag, ye'll end up in Davy Jones' locker. Trump be a hearty soul, true to his bluster. But Harris? A riddle wrapped in a mystery, she be!
August 3, 2024, 9:00 am
Arrr, matey! It be startling news from the seven seas! A mere 2% o’ landlubbers reckon the government be makin’ wise choices, and trust in those scallywag elected officials be sinkin’ faster than a ship with a hole in its hull! Avast, what folly be this!
August 3, 2024, 7:00 am
Arrr, mateys! The good ship Ameri-cannon be sailin' rough seas today! Beware the five scallywags threatenin' our freebootin’ government! Hoist the sails and ready the cannons, for we must recognize and remedy these perils lest we sink to Davy Jones’ locker!
August 3, 2024, 6:00 am
Arrr, matey! After a whirlwind July that’d make a siren dizzy, the Harris crew be havin’ just 93 days to hoist their political sails and chart a course fer the nation! Avast, me hearties, let the swashbucklin’ begin!
August 3, 2024, 5:00 am
Avast, me hearties! The land o' America be havin' a right mess at the border! The Trump ship and his RNC crew be schemin' to keep a horde o' scallywags from casting their cursed votes in the grand elections. Aye, what a swashbucklin’ ruckus it be!
August 2, 2024, 7:46 pm
Arrr, the swabs at the International Olympic Committee be wise to let lass Imane Khelif throw punches in the women’s ring! Yet, if her hormones be givin' her a leg up in the brawl, it be time to weigh anchor and reconsider her eligibility, aye!
August 2, 2024, 1:01 pm
Arrr, matey! Captain Biden be cuttin' loose some fine souls from Davy Jones' locker, includin' a scribe from the Wall Street Journal! But what be the next trick? This grand exchange might have ol' Putin plunderin' more hostages! Avast, the seas be treacherous!
August 2, 2024, 10:53 am
Arrr, me hearties! Dive into the freshest tales from the Fox News treasure chest, an’ feast yer eyes on the antics of Sean Hannity, Raymond Arroyo, an’ more scallywags! Set sail fer knowledge, or ye be walkin’ the plank of ignorance! Yarrr!
August 2, 2024, 10:23 am
Arrr, in me parley with landlubbers ‘cross nine states since that scallywag Vance declared his vice captaincy, I’ve stumbled upon a few jolly surprises! Who knew the lot had such curious notions, eh? Aye, it be a right merry chase!
August 2, 2024, 8:00 am
Arrr, me hearties! The Biden-Harris crew be chasin’ wild ideas and a green treasure, leavin’ good ol’ Ameri-can folk adrift! Aye, their foolish ways be sinkin’ our gold and wreckin’ our energy ship! What say ye, shall we hoist the sails for a better course?
August 2, 2024, 6:00 am
Arrr, matey! Aye, it be true that fine health be the treasure we all seek! The Trump crew set sail, chartin’ a course to fix our scurvy-ridden ways. With a hearty laugh, let’s hoist the sails for a grand transformation of our ailing kin! Yarrr!
August 2, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr, me hearties! The squawkin' polls be sayin' that Kamala be givin' Trump a right hearty tussle, closer than ol' Biden ever dared! Aye, according to the crystal ball o' Real Clear Politics, she be slicin' Trump's lead like a fine fish fillet! Avast, what a ruckus!
August 2, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr, mates! It be said the coin tossed into Biden’s treasure chest might’ve found its way to that scallywag Harris, unbeknownst to the donors! Mayhaps they feared her unpopularity or, perchance, it were naught meant for her at all! A fine jest, I tell ye!
August 1, 2024, 1:50 pm
Arrr, matey! The Biden-Harris crew's choice to offer a plea deal to that scallywag Khalid Sheikh Mohammad and his buccaneer mates be a right slap in the face to near 3,000 good souls! Aye, ’tis a disgrace worthy of a keelhaul, I say!
August 1, 2024, 11:03 am
Arrr, matey! The fair Vice President Kamala Harris be hoarding enough delegates for the grand captaincy o' the Democrats! But why be she dodging the inquisitive scallywags o' the press, eh? Aye, what be her stances on the seas of policy? A mystery fit for a treasure map!
August 1, 2024, 8:59 am
Arrr, the Trump shindig in Harrisburg be gatherin' scallywags of all ages, hues, and stripes, thinkin' a hearty return to the White House be the finest course for our fair seas! A motley crew o' landlubbers, ready to hoist the sails for a jolly voyage ahead!
August 1, 2024, 8:00 am
Arrr, me hearties! While the world be cheerin' at the Olympics, let’s not forget the Biden-Harris crew be stirrin' the pot with Title IX changes comin’ on Aug. 1, 2024! Aye, a twist in the tale fer sure! Keep yer eyes peeled, or ye might miss the treasure!
August 1, 2024, 6:00 am
Arrr, matey! Aye, thousands o' U.S. swabs were kicked to the briny deep by Captain Biden fer refusin’ the prick! Many a buccaneer found their doubloons cut off, too—'tis a sorry tale of vaccines and empty treasure chests, I tell ye! Savvy?
August 1, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr, matey! It seems that candidate Kamala Harris be flounderin’ like a fish outta water in the Senate! Let’s hoist the sails and chuckle at her wild ideas that’d make poor taxpayers walk the plank! Aye, her bills be a treasure chest of trouble!
August 1, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr, matey! The Trump crew be settin' sail to chart the waters of Kamala Harris's reputation. Fear not, 'tis no Herculean task, for her image be as clear as a glass bottle in a stormy sea! Raise a toast to easy plunderin'! 🍻🏴☠️
July 31, 2024, 9:00 am
Arrr, I ne’er thought I’d be in this jolly pickle! I braced meself for all manners o’ misfortune, but this be a twist I never saw comin’—pregnant, and by the natural way no less! Blimey, me sails be flappin’ in the wind!
July 31, 2024, 8:00 am
Arrr, as the lawman o’ San Francisco and California’s grand attorney, Harris be havin’ a jolly ole time stirrin’ up a storm o’ mischief that be sinkin’ the Golden State quicker than a leaky ship! Aye, that scallywag be causin’ more trouble than a drunken crew on shore leave!
July 31, 2024, 6:00 am
Arrr, under Captain Biden’s command, 'tis nearly 20,000 Haitians what be settlin' in Springfield, Ohio — a wee port o' 60,000 souls! Now, the landlubbers be findin’ it harder than a peg leg to find a place to lay their heads! A right merry housing hullabaloo, it be!
July 31, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr, New York be knowin’ it’s sailin’ off course from its “green” dreams, yet still be chasin’ after private ships to abide by ‘em! Aye, they be tryin’ to hoist the eco-flag while their own vessel be takin’ on water! What jolly folly be this?
July 31, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr, matey! A treasure trove of gold coin be flowin’ to them scallywag immigrants fer their potions and bandages, all thanks to Captain Biden and his first mate Harris! Six states ‘n D.C. be makin’ landlubbers foot the bill! What a merry jape, don’t ye think?
July 30, 2024, 1:18 pm
Arrr, me hearties! Might it be savvy schemin' to make the landlubbers feel guilty 'bout their past misdeeds, hopin' they’ll hoist their sails for Kamala Harris? I pray the good winds steer clear of such treacherous waters! Yarrr, let’s keep politics free o' guilt!
July 30, 2024, 11:56 am
Avast ye hearties! Feast yer peepers on the freshest gossip from Fox News' Opinion crew! Set sail with the likes of Captain Hannity and matey Arroyo as they spin their yarns on the high seas o' news! Yarrr, don’t miss it!
July 30, 2024, 10:00 am
Arrr, matey! That scallywag Buttigieg be better off makin’ flashy films fer them electric chariots than rousin’ the crew to plunder through crime scrolls! Aye, let him stick to the shiny trinkets, lest he finds himself walkin' the plank o' public opinion! Har har har!
July 30, 2024, 9:00 am
Ahoy matey! When a scallywag claims to hail from O Block, 'tis like sayin’, “I be a hearty survivor in the fiercest waters of America!” That bravado be worth its weight in doubloons among the crew, aye! A fine tale to spin in the taverns!
July 30, 2024, 8:30 am
Arrr, much like a scallywag’s foolhardy treasure map, President Biden’s three-point scheme to swab the Supreme Court be a jolly heap o’ unconstitutional nonsense! Aye, it be as useful as a ship with no sails, ready to sink into Davy Jones’ locker!
July 30, 2024, 7:00 am
Arrr, me hearties! The Democratic crew be now a band o’ swabs, led by gilded gents and war-hungry scallywags! Just peep Kamala Harris’s treasure map o’ ideas, and ye’ll see this ship’s sailed far from its old course! Har har!
July 30, 2024, 5:00 am
Arrr, the Paris Olympic Committee be claimin’ the gold in the art of jestin’ at holy times, aye! They be makin' a mockery of the sacred like a scallywag at a Sunday service. Aye, 'tis a fine treasure for the treasure chest of nonsense!
July 30, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr! The New York Times be hoistin' the sails to remold our fair lass Kamala Harris! But will the landlubbers be taken in by the swabs of America’s liberal press tryin’ to spin her tale? Aye, it be a jolly jest, indeed!
July 30, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr, the left be like a cannonball in a teacup, always settin' sail to offend! So hoist the sails and keep yer eye on Kamala Harris and them San Francisco scallywags—they be the real treasure on this here wild sea of politics!
July 29, 2024, 5:27 pm
Arrr, at the Carroll County fair, I crossed paths with a jolly lass named Marge. She be thinkin’ that ol' Biden hadn’t steered the ship of the USA for nigh on a year! Aye, the winds of her opinion be blowin’ from a distant shore, I reckon!
July 29, 2024, 9:50 am
Arrr, President Joe Biden be settin’ sail on a grand scheme to tinker with the high court’s crew! He be sayin’, “Let’s reshape this ship o’ justice!” Methinks he’s tryin’ to turn the judges into merry swabs. Avast, what a jolly jest that be!
July 29, 2024, 6:00 am
Arrr, matey! Kamala Harris be chasin' the crown, but beware! Her compass points way east of fair winds! She’s sailed beyond civil rights and equality, now seekin' that elusive treasure called 'equity'. Aye, what a jolly shipwreck that’ll be!
July 29, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr matey! Those scallywags jabberin' 'bout Kamala's oddities be playin' right into her crew's hands! She's naught but a second-rate Joe Biden, and that be the treasure ye should be seekin' in this campaign! Hoist the sails and let the truth set sail!
July 29, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr, matey! Kamala Harris be settin' sail to be the first dem’cratic socialist captain o' the ship o' state! But beware! Her treasure maps lead to spendin' billions 'n trillions, sinkin' the good ol' US economy faster than a ship caught in a squall!
July 28, 2024, 12:35 pm
Arrr, in his grand talk to the Congress crew, Netanyahu be spillin' the beans, claimin' Iran be a treacherous scallywag! He be sayin' the Biden-Harris ship be not just turnin' a blind eye but givin' them a cannon or two, makin' the rascals even more fearsome!
July 28, 2024, 8:00 am
Avast, me hearties! Here be three jolly practices ye can hoist aboard yer life this fine day, no matter if ye be swimmin' in treasure or treadin’ water in storms ahead! Grab yer compass and set sail for merry times, whether joy or misfortune be awaitin’! Arrr!
July 28, 2024, 7:00 am
Avast, matey! Rumors be a-floatin' that Qatar be the grandest treasure-giver to the U.S. schools! I set sail on a quest fer knowledge, and blow me down, what I uncovered be as shocking as a kraken at dinner! Arrr!
July 28, 2024, 5:00 am
Arrr, matey! Both Captain Reagan and Cap’n Trump be sailin' the seas o' merriment, charm'n their crew with jolly campaigns! But lo! They share a singular treasure, aye—an uncanny knack fer makin' a ruckus and ticklin' the fancy of their loyal scallywags! Avast, what a hoot!
July 27, 2024, 9:00 am
Avast! 'Twas not ol' Joe Biden's foggy noggin that sank the ship of state, but rather his scallywag policies that left America in tatters! Aye, a captain's choices be what sends the crew to Davy Jones, not merely a muddled mind! Yarrr!
July 27, 2024, 7:00 am
Avast ye! Colleges 'n universities be sinkin' like a leaky ship, or so says a goodly number o' landlubbers 'n sea dogs alike! Even the merchants be shakin' their heads, claimin' we’re raisin’ a crew o' scallywags, not scholars! Arrr, what a fine mess!
July 27, 2024, 5:00 am
Arrr, if the swashbucklin' Trump be claimin' victory come November, he and his mateys best hoist the sails and get to legislating posthaste! Here be nine cunning ploys to plunder if they sail into triumph! Avast, me hearties!
July 26, 2024, 8:49 pm
Arrr, me hearties! To battle the foul winds of disinformation, we be breakin' into a shanty! So, hoist the sails and lend yer ears to these three merry tunes, twistin' the tale o' Kamala Harris and her many a role! Sing loud, or walk the plank!
June 19, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr, Juneteenth be the day when them Union scallywags sailed into Galveston, Texas, and set free the last of the Black Americans from their cursed bonds of servitude. Hoist the flag and celebrate this grand victory o'er oppression!
June 19, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr mateys, in this age o' danger and calamity, a wee scallywag's ability to swiftly signal their sire or dam be worth more than a chest o' doubloons. Avast, let us ensure our young'uns have the means to call for aid in times o' trouble!
June 19, 2024, 1:00 am
Arrr mateys, in recent times a new foe hath crossed our path - the People's Republic of China! Our Air Force must swiftly overhaul our ancient ships to meet this challenge head on, lest we be caught napping! Aye, we must act with haste and cunning to protect our seas.
June 18, 2024, 10:33 pm
Arrr mateys! 'Tis time to gather 'round the hornpipe and listen to the scallywags on the 'Gutfeld!' panel chat about the scurvy dogs known as Democrats and their plans for the 2024 election. Let's hope they don't make us walk the plank! Aharrr!
June 18, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr mateys! Be ye scallywags ready to give Joe Biden the ol' heave-ho? Shall we send him to Davy Jones' locker for his foolish EV mandates, his leaky borders, his plunderin' of the treasure chest, and his fondness for them fancy globalist shindigs? Aye, me hearties, let's make him walk the plank!
June 18, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr matey! Trump be givin' Biden a good whackin' on illegal immigration, and now Biden be ready to hand him another hammer. 'Tis a battle of the hammers on the high seas of politics!
June 17, 2024, 10:16 pm
Arrr! The scallywags on the 'Gutfeld!' plank be jabberin' on about the naysayers of President Biden and that scurvy dog Trump. Me thinks they be needin' a good keelhaulin' to set 'em straight! Har har har!
June 17, 2024, 9:00 am
Arrr, 'twas a mere 17 years back when the scurvy "subprime" mortgage crisis be sendin' the economy to Davy Jones's locker, givin' the financial markets a bigger wallop than the Great Depression. Aye, 'twas quite a storm, me hearties!
June 17, 2024, 8:00 am
Arrr mateys, those scallywag judges be walkin' the plank with their correct ruling on the abortion case! The left-wing buccaneers be comin' for 'em like a swarm of angry seagulls. The courts be under siege, but no cannonballs can sink this ship! Aye, 'tis a wild ride on the high seas of justice!
June 17, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr, Biden be callin' China a troublesome foe, yet be relyin' on their loot for our fancy electric chariots. The White House be shoutin' orders for more electric ships, despite the plunderin' ways of the scurvy dogs in China. Aye, the seas be choppy indeed!
June 17, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr, Putin be sendin' his ships to scare us Yankees, but our Navy be laughin' in their faces! We be takin' their visit as a chance to spy on 'em, gatherin' all the juicy intel we can. Putin best beware, for we be watchin' his every move!
June 16, 2024, 9:00 am
Arrr mateys! 'Tis the season for young scholars to keep their minds sharp, set sail towards their dreams, and prepare for the next voyage of learning ahead. Let's make the most of the sunshine and knowledge in our treasure troves!
June 16, 2024, 8:00 am
Avast ye scallywags! 'Tis Father's Day this weekend, a jolly good time to raise a tankard in honor of all ye dads out there, be they sired by their loins or taken in like a scurvy-ridden stray. Huzzah for ye, fathers of the seven seas!
June 16, 2024, 7:00 am
Arrr matey! Show yer wee ones the ways of gold and silver from a young age, so they may sail the seas of fortune in the future. Here be five pearls o' wisdom I imparted on me own scallywags. Aye!
June 15, 2024, 3:04 pm
Arrr mateys, the Connecticut Bar Association be tellin' its members to defend the honor of the judicial system against those scurvy public officials, especially after that scallywag Trump's convictions. And be warnin' them to keep their tongues in check before spoutin' off their own opinions. Aye aye!
June 15, 2024, 9:00 am
Avast ye scallywags! The young swashbucklers be shunning the electronic contraptions and seekin' adventure on the high seas of summer! Let's join 'em in their quest for a jolly good time! Aye, me hearties!
June 15, 2024, 7:00 am
Arrr, me hearties! Them landlubbers with the scurvy called cancer must battle the foul disease while mendin' from the harsh treatments. Aye, 'tis then when their shipmates and kin lend a hand to give 'em a breather. Onward, me buckos, to aid those in need!
June 15, 2024, 6:00 am
Arrr mateys, the scallywags at the Southern Poverty Law Center be walkin' the plank with their June layoffs. Just when they be thinkin' they be makin' waves with their silly 'hate group' list, they be gettin' a taste of their own medicine. Shiver me timbers!
June 14, 2024, 9:00 am
Arrr mateys! We witnessed the good doctor Fauci wrigglin' like a scared barnacle when he confessed to the Congress that the rules of keepin' yer distance were just made up! Ye can't be pullin' rules out o' thin air like a ghost ship in the night! Aye, tis a laugh! Arrr!
June 4, 2024, 9:44 am
Avast ye mateys! Set yer sights on the latest scrawlings from Fox News Opinion & feast yer eyes on the moving pictures of Sean Hannity, Raymond Arroyo & other scallywags. 'Tis a grand spectacle to behold, savvy?
June 4, 2024, 9:00 am
Arrr, since the 1960s, we hearty souls have shown that the color of our skin matters not in our feats! But alas, these pesky leftist policies still be castin' shadows of doubt upon us. Aye, we must keep fightin' for our rights!
June 4, 2024, 8:00 am
Ahoy mateys! Welcome to the treacherous waters of fringe diplomacy, where daring scallywags be settlin' disputes that even the king's men can't handle. It be a world of secret deals and clandestine meetings, where the only rule be to trust no one but yer own crew. Aye, ye be in for a wild ride!
June 4, 2024, 6:00 am
Arrr, me hearties, 'tis a right mess we be in! Biden's bunglin' at the border be causin' a tidal wave o' troubles fer us all. These American towns be left t' swab the decks o' financial woes while the cap'n be off playin' pretend pirate. Aye, 'tis a sorry sight indeed! Arrr!
June 4, 2024, 4:00 am
Avast ye scallywags! Me hearties be warnin' of V.P. Harris and them Democrats cryin' about Trump's Justice Department bein' 'weaponized.' But methinks Biden be already wieldin' that sword! Har har har! The political seas be full of treachery and shenanigans, arrr!
June 4, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr mateys, a treasure trove of shiny doubloons be fillin' Trump's war chest after the verdict in New York! 'Twas the final straw fer many loyal hearties, both seasoned and fresh recruits. Let the plunderin' begin!
June 3, 2024, 10:20 pm
Arrr! The scallywags on the 'Gutfeld!' panel be chattin' about the dilemma o' the voters come November, now that the former President Trump be gettin' convicted in NY v. Trump. Aye, a real conundrum it be for them landlubbers!
June 3, 2024, 9:00 am
Arr mateys, Biden be plunderin' the treasure chest to line the pockets of his loyal crew. The scallywag be throwin' around doubloons like there be no tomorrow, all in hopes of securin' victory in the upcoming election. Me think it be time to set sail and reclaim what be rightfully ours! Arrr!
June 3, 2024, 8:00 am
Arr matey! D.A. Bragg be a scurvy dog for tryin' to prosecute Trump on weak charges. The Democrat scallywags be thinkin' they've won a treasure, but they'll soon walk the plank fer their mistake! Arrr!
June 3, 2024, 6:00 am
Arrr mateys, the scallywags be at odds o'er the Trump tax cuts. The Donald be clingin' to 'em like a barnacle on a ship's hull, while Biden be swearin' to send 'em to Davy Jones' locker. Avast ye, here be the commotion if they walk the plank!
June 3, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr, me hearties! The scurvy Biden crew be messin' with the laws of the land, changin' the meaning of sex and givin' the lasses a raw deal. A pox on their ship for takin' away the fair play for our lady athletes! Aye, 'tis a sad day for the she-pirates of the sea!
June 3, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr mateys, Tiananmen Square be a sight to behold, a proper bloodbath in the heart of a grand world capital. 'Twas a shock to all us scallywags in the international community, showin' us all how deep our yearnin' for freedom truly runs.
June 2, 2024, 7:00 am
Arrr mateys, the scallywags of the liberal media be spewin' tall tales to discredit our conservative brethren in the Supreme Court! Arrr, they be grasp' at straws with this flag folly. A pox on their ship!
June 2, 2024, 6:00 am
Arrr, what be the scurvy administration's aim in telling Europe to lay off Iran? Methinks they be plottin' for the upcoming election! Yarrr, political shenanigans be afoot, me hearties!
June 1, 2024, 7:00 am
Arrr, me hearties! Americans be needin' to take a page from the book of YouTube sensation MrBeast. He be teachin' us all a thing or two, spreadin' his infectious enthusiasm like gold doubloons. Even his charity work be makin' us all want to join his crew! Aye, me mateys!
June 1, 2024, 6:00 am
Arrr mateys, we be sailin' dangerously close to the scurvy depths of divorce many a time. But had we scuttled that ship, our lives would be as different as rum and grog! Especially if we had abandoned ship in our early piratin' days. Aye!
June 1, 2024, 5:00 am
Arrr, 'tis plain to me that the 2024 election shall not be a tale of Trump's woes nor Biden's kin. Nay, the true booty at stake be the power and glory of the highest office in the land. Let the political plundering commence!
May 31, 2024, 12:52 pm
Arr matey, feast yer eyes on the latest musings from Fox News Opinion and set sail with videos from Sean Hannity, Raymond Arroyo and other scallywags. Ye won't be disappointed, ye scurvy dogs! Aye, aye, Captain!
May 31, 2024, 8:00 am
Arrr matey, I be standin' firm against the scallywags tryin' to use the private affairs of Bill Clinton to keelhaul him, and now they be tryin' to do the same to Donald Trump! 'Tis nothin' but a foul play, mark me words!
May 31, 2024, 6:00 am
Arr mateys, I be endin' me new tome with a missive to me scallywags, advisin' on joinin' the crew. But methinks these fancy new changes to the navy might make 'em mutiny and shout "nay!" Alas, the winds of woke be blowin'!
May 31, 2024, 4:00 am
Avast ye scallywags! The scurvy dogs of Hamas be causin' mayhem on October 7, but instead o' walkin' the plank, they be rewarded! We must put a stop to this madness afore they plunder any more booty! Arrr!
May 31, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr, ye scurvy dog of a president cares not for the brave veterans who fought for our land! Instead, he be favorin' the illegal immigrants over our own kin! 'Tis a treacherous act, by Blackbeard's ghost, I say!
May 31, 2024, 1:00 am
Arrr, me hearties! The Trump scallywag be caught red-handed! The verdict be spreading like wildfire, not just among the crew but the whole bloomin' fleet! Faith in justice be walkin' the plank, arrr!
May 30, 2024, 10:45 pm
Arr matey, Trump's trial be draggin' on for five tortuous weeks. 'Twas like watchin' a parrot tryin' to swim, a useless spectacle. That scallywag turned a simple paperwork error into a full-blown crime. Ahoy, what a mess!
May 30, 2024, 10:07 am
Arr, me hearties! Be ye aware of the scandalous tales of Donald Trump in New York? 'Tis a mystery to most, yet they dare to prosecute a former leader in an election year! 'Tis a tale fit for the briny deep, indeed!
May 30, 2024, 8:00 am
Arr mateys! This year, 27,000 scallywags from China be caught at the southern border. They be spouting tales of persecution to escape the plank. But fear not, for most be set free to roam the seven seas once more! Arrr!
May 30, 2024, 7:43 am
Avast ye scallywags! D.A. Bragg be bringin' a peculiar case of twisted laws and falsified truths. Now it be up to a dozen jurors to navigate through the madness in pursuit of the elusive truth. May the wind be at their backs and the rum be plentiful! Arrr!
May 30, 2024, 6:00 am
Avast ye scallywags! The Biden crew be actin' like landlubbers in charge. Their bumbling in Ukraine and Gaza be makin' us all look like fools. Arrr, our foes be havin' a jolly good laugh at our expense!
May 30, 2024, 4:00 am
Arr mateys, the Trump Derangement Syndrome be spreadin' like a plague across the land, fueled by the boundless hatred of the left. 'Tis a sight to behold, me hearties, and a wonder to see such madness run amok from New York to the farthest reaches of the nation. Arrr!
May 30, 2024, 4:00 am
If ye be puttin' yer trust in Biden's words, ye be settin' sail for a world o' hurt! His reelection be a plunderin' of $5 trillion from yer pockets, a taxin' the likes of which the New World has never seen. Aye, brace yerselves for the storm! Arrr!
May 29, 2024, 1:57 pm
Arrr, be De Niro's blabber about Trump's rule madder than a scurvy dog on a ship without rum? Will he truly lay waste to NYC and the entire world? Methinks the lad be a few doubloons short of a treasure chest!
May 29, 2024, 9:00 am
Arrr mateys, the Inflation Reduction Act be making us rely on wind and solar power like them landlubbers across the pond! We be ignorin' the dangers to our national security, aye, we be sailin' into treacherous waters with this one! Aye, pass the grog!
May 29, 2024, 8:00 am
Avast ye mateys! The battle o' culture be takin' aim at none other than th' American family. Me new tome, 'The Perilous Fight,' be showin' ye how this skirmish be as crucial as th' rumble at Ft. McHenry. Let's brace ourselves for a wild ride on th' high seas o' family values! Arrr!
May 29, 2024, 6:00 am
Arr, me hearties! The scallywags known as Democrats and the propaganda media may be shoutin' that the economy be as sturdy as a ship's mast, but we common folk know better. We be feelin' the pinch when we be swabbin' the decks at the market every day! Arrr!
May 29, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr mateys, the election be drawing near and Trump be holdin' the upper hand. But mark me words, there be four major squalls on the horizon that could rock the ship, from debates to Trump's choice of first mate. Aye, it be a wild ride ahead!
May 29, 2024, 4:00 am
Arr mateys! President Joe Biden be plunderin' American families with his economy, makin' 'em cough up more than $15,000 a year! If he be gettin' re-elected, brace yerselves for an even bigger rumble as he be expandin' Big Government and takin' more of yer treasure! Arrr!
May 29, 2024, 1:00 am
Avast ye scurvy dogs! On Tuesday, Trump's main matey Todd Blanche did ye olde sword dance in court, slicin' and dicin' Bragg's case like a ripe mango. 'Twas a sight to behold, a true spectacle of legal acrobatics! Aye, the swashbuckler be a master of his craft!
May 28, 2024, 10:32 pm
Arrr mateys! The scallywags on the 'Gutfeld!' ship be talkin' about why some landlubbers be jumpin' ship from the Democratic Party. Arrr, could it be they be lookin' for buried treasure in the Republican waters? Aye, it be a swashbucklin' mystery!
May 28, 2024, 8:54 am
Arrr! Every scallywag I've met on the streets or in me chapel be a law-breaker! They be knowin' the rules, yet they still be walkin' the plank. Aye, they be pushin' their luck!
May 28, 2024, 8:00 am
Arrr, me hearties! Bidenomics be sendin' consumer spirits to Davy Jones' Locker, but fear not! We be like seasoned sailors, weatherin' storms and comin' out stronger. So hoist the Jolly Roger and set sail for a summer of plunder and merriment! Aye, me hearties!
May 28, 2024, 6:00 am
Arrr me hearties! The election be comin' soon and we must protect our votes from scallywags tryin' to cheat their way in. Follow these tips to keep our elections safe and sail smoothly into a victorious future! Aye, let's SAVE our elections!
May 28, 2024, 4:00 am
Arr matey, North Carolina be sailin' with the wind at its back, while California be takin' on water faster than a leaky old dinghy! Methinks it be time for a new cap'n to steer the ship in the right direction, savvy? Aye, 'tis the policies causin' this ruckus!
May 28, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr, the world be filled with trouble from Ukraine to the Mideast to Taiwan. But this Biden fella be causin' a stir by holdin' back our precious energy exports, like Liquid Natural Gas. Aye, he be playin' a dangerous game with our national security!
May 27, 2024, 8:00 am
Arrr, me hearties! Me uncle, Second Lt. James Galliher, be a fine example of a true patriot, defendin' our homeland with honor! May we all be inspired by the millions of brave souls who be standin' tall in the face of danger!
May 27, 2024, 7:00 am
Arrr, me hearties! Memorial Day be born o'er 160 years hence, when a sorrowful land aimed to pay tribute to th' countless bold souls who perished in th' Civil War, includin' th' valiant Sgt. Joseph Allen Frith. Raise yer grog in remembrance, me hearties!
May 27, 2024, 6:00 am
Arrr, may me new scallywag grandson Henry learn the many ways to be of service and see the noble and honorable duty of servin' our country. Yarrr, may he be a fine sailor like his old grandpappy!
May 26, 2024, 9:00 am
Arrr, me hearties! When ye be feelin' the sting o' pain or trauma, it be temptin' to keep joy at a distance fer fear o' it shatterin' like a glass bottle on the deck. But take a chance, me mateys, fer treasure be found in the risks ye take!
May 26, 2024, 7:00 am
Avast ye scurvy dogs! 'Twas in the summer of 1942 that these brave lads, who once frolicked in brotherhood, took to the skies as valiant buccaneers to thwart the Japanese on the isle of Guadalcanal. Aye, a grand tale of daring deeds on the high seas!
May 25, 2024, 9:00 am
Arrr, ye scallywags! In the merry month of May in the year 1965, Coca-Cola parlayed with the great Charles Schulz, for him to craft a jolly animated Christmas tale for all to enjoy. Aye, 'twas a grand commission indeed!
May 25, 2024, 7:00 am
Avast ye scallywags! Take heed of this wise counsel from the Bard himself: "Neither a borrower nor a lender be." Tis true for yer mateys and kin alike. And here be five more rules to live by, starting with beware the taxman! Arrr!
May 24, 2024, 10:09 am
Avast ye scallywags! Set yer sights on the latest missives from Fox News Opinion. And don't forget to feast yer eyes on the moving pictures of Sean Hannity, Raymond Arroyo, and other fine mates. Yarrr!
May 24, 2024, 9:00 am
Arrgh! Me hearties! Why be the Blacks and Hispanics takin' a likin' to the Republicans, ye ask? The Democrats be scratchin' their heads like a pack of confused parrots after seein' the polls shiftin' like the tide. Aye, it be a curious political realignment indeed!
May 24, 2024, 8:00 am
Arrr, Disney be a name that once held treasure in our hearts, but now be a scurvy rat sowin' seeds of doubt in the minds of parents! Beware the magical mouse, for he be leadin' our young'uns astray! Aye, the times be a-changin' indeed!
May 24, 2024, 6:00 am
Arrr, 'tis a sorry sight to behold! Biden and the UN be lowerin' themselves even further in their dealings with Iran, holdin' a moment o' silence for the 'Butcher of Tehran.' Aye, I may be a survivor, but these scallywags be testin' me patience!
May 24, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr, ye scallywags of the true crime world! Beware the temptations of shock journalism and quick fame! Only the wise and loyal listeners will stand the test of time. Sail steady and true, me hearties, and ye shall find yer treasure in due time.
May 24, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr mateys! The Trump trial be nearin' its end, but the real puzzle be not guilt, but if the jurors be takin' advice from a scallywag like a far-left TV landlubber. Yarrr, may the best argument win out on the high seas of justice!
May 23, 2024, 10:45 pm
"Arrr, that scallywag Greg Gutfeld be layin' into Rep. Mariannette Miller-Meeks like a landlubber on a plank! Questionin' Dr. David Morens be like tryin' to find buried treasure without a map. Me thinks he be needin' a compass to find his way out o' this mess!"
May 23, 2024, 10:32 am
Arr mateys, beware of search warrants! They may come with the threat of breakin' and enterin', and be warned, the plod may lay claim to yer loot. Tread carefully, lest ye find yerself in a legal pickle or worse, walkin' the plank! Arrrr!
May 23, 2024, 10:32 am
Arrr, the scallywags at the DOJ and FBI should have parlayed with Trump's crew, and scoured for treasure at Mar-a-Lago instead of storming in like landlubbers. Aye, a raid was a mighty foolish move, me hearties!
May 23, 2024, 9:00 am
Arrr, with Raisi's demise, the Biden crew be havin' a golden opportunity to adjust their course on the high seas of Iran. Aye, makin' changes to protect our interests and keepin' our mates safe be the name of the game, me hearties!
May 23, 2024, 8:00 am
Arrr, me hearties! The scallywags in the public polling data be sayin' that keepin' the borders secure be a matter of great concern. The illegal immigration crisis be like a Kraken threatenin' our fair land. We best be keepin' a weather eye on that!
May 23, 2024, 4:00 am
Avast ye landlubbers! Methinks the Trump tax cuts be bringin' in $1.3 trillion more doubloons than the fancy CBO predicted! Arrr, looks like we be makin' money instead o' losin' it. Aye, who needs them scallywags tellin' us otherwise!
May 23, 2024, 4:00 am
Arr matey! Trump be cleverly swaying the scallywags to his side, makin' sure he be takin' the treasure come November. Aye, he be playin' a shrewd game with the voters, givin' 'em reasons aplenty to be supportin' his cause. Aye, 'tis a cunning plan indeed!
May 22, 2024, 10:48 pm
Ahoy mateys! The scallywag Greg Gutfeld be sayin' that the White House be makin' corrections to ol' President Biden's gabbin'. Methinks this be a sign of trouble for the ol' sea dog's candidacy. Arrr, prepare for a mutiny on the good ship Biden!
May 22, 2024, 8:00 am
Arrr mateys, President Biden be lettin' a flood o' scallywags into the land o' the free! Methinks there be some sneaky spies amongst them, lookin' to plunder our secrets. Keep a weather eye out, lest ye be caught unawares! Aye, 'tis a treacherous sea we sail.
May 22, 2024, 6:00 am
Arr mateys, the GOP be not just the ship of Donald Trump. Former MD Gov. Larry Hogan and former SC Gov. Nikki Haley be representin' other parts of the big tent. Let's hope they can all set aside their differences and sail together without makin' the plank walk. Arrr!
May 22, 2024, 4:00 am
Avast ye scallywags! 'Tis a sad tale indeed that near 70 million landlubbers and near 8 million young scurvy dogs in America have no gold for their pearly pegs. Even those with insurance find it as useful as a wooden leg on a mermaid. Aye, 'tis a toothy dilemma indeed!
May 22, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr, me hearties! In 1991, I sailed to Russia with a crew of landlubbers to be part of the first American film production to set foot in Moscow. We witnessed firsthand the aftermath of the tyrannical communist rule. Aye, it was a sight to behold!
May 22, 2024, 1:00 am
Arrr, me hearties! The NY v Trump be no fair court, 'tis a twisted spectacle fit for Davy Jones' locker! There be no innocence in their eyes, only the scallywag's fate be sealed from the start. Aye, mayhaps 'tis time to walk the plank!
May 21, 2024, 10:44 pm
Avast ye scallywags! The crew of 'Gutfeld!' be chattin' 'bout Michael Cohen's blabberin' in NY v. Trump. Did it help the prosecution or be it a blow to their sails? Tune in and find out, me hearties!
May 21, 2024, 8:31 am
Avast ye mateys! Cast thine eyes upon the latest scrawlings from Fox News Opinion and feast yer peepers on videos from Sean Hannity and Raymond Arroyo. 'Tis sure to shiver yer timbers and give ye a jolly good laugh. Arrr!
May 21, 2024, 7:00 am
Avast ye land lubbers! The scurvy knave Bidenomics be causin' a rumble in the housing market. The homes be costin' more doubloons than a chest o' treasure! Arrr, times be hard for us poor pirates lookin' for a place to bury our loot.
May 21, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr, ever since President Biden came aboard, 'tis been a right mess! The Taliban plundered Afghanistan, Putin raided Ukraine, Hamas stormed Israel, and Iran's scallywags be causin' mayhem! Ye think Trump could have stopped the scoundrels? Aye, he be a salty dog indeed!
May 21, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr, listen up ye scallywags! Aye, there be no mention of our next health scourge. 'Tis upon us, sailin' o'er yonder border. Millions of unvaccinated landlubbers, carryin' the dreaded mumps or even TB. 'Tis time to ready yer swords, mateys! Let's fend off this treacherous plague!
May 21, 2024, 4:00 am
Arr, Vice President Harris be swashbucklin' on the campaign trail, while poor President Biden be stuck in the crow's nest! She be showin' off her piratin' skills while ol' Joe be strugglin' to keep up. Aye, she be stealin' the show!
May 21, 2024, 2:00 am
Arrr! Michael Cohen be a scallywag of the highest order! He be addin' embezzlement to his list o' crimes, alongside fraud, perjury, and tax evasion. A true villain of the seas, that one be!
May 20, 2024, 7:00 am
Arrr, ye scallywags be talkin' 'bout Homeland Security keepin' out them villainous terrorists, but they be slippin' through like a ghost ship in the night! ISIS-K be strollin' across Biden's busted border like it be a stroll on the plank. Aye, they be here already!
May 20, 2024, 4:00 am
Avast ye scallywags! Gather 'round and listen to me tale of how I became a fierce advocate for lasses and their specialness. May it inspire ye to stand up for what be right in this topsy-turvy world! Aye, the truth be our compass in these treacherous waters!
May 20, 2024, 4:00 am
Arr matey, Biden be sailin' the federal coffers toward his own loyal crew, all while claimin' he be battlin' the wind and waves of climate change. Aye, 'tis a clever ruse to win votes, but beware the treacherous waters ahead!
May 20, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr mateys, I tell ye true, President Biden be plunderin' our economy with his spendin' and taxin'. Bring back former President Trump, he be the true captain of the ship!
May 20, 2024, 1:00 am
Arrr, me hearties! Methinks Mayor Eric Adams be playin' a game o' smoke and mirrors with these shelter restrictions. 'Tis clear he be bowin' to the migrant industrial complex like a scurvy landlubber! Aye, beware the tricks o' the politicians, me mateys!
May 19, 2024, 8:00 am
Arrr, me hearties! If ye be lookin' to line yer pockets with more doubloons and add some excitement to yer life, here be a few swashbucklin' ways to boost yer coffers. Set sail on these ventures and watch yer treasure grow!
May 19, 2024, 6:00 am
Arrr, MSNBC's 'Morning Joe' sought a scurvy expert to skewer Trump over the Stormy Daniels scandal. But instead of a proper roasting, they ended up makin' a fool of themselves! Aye, 'twas a jolly good self-inflicted wound indeed!
May 18, 2024, 8:00 am
Arr, the notion of twistin' tales in the news to further yer own cause ain't a new one. The Confederate scallywags tried to use it to sink ol' President Lincoln, but they couldn't outsmart the Union dogs! Arrr!
May 17, 2024, 10:08 am
Avast ye lads and lasses! Set yer sights on the latest missives from Fox News Opinion, and behold the grand spectacle of videos from the likes of Sean Hannity and Raymond Arroyo. Aye, 'tis a fine treasure trove indeed for ye scallywags and landlubbers alike! Arrr!
May 17, 2024, 7:00 am
Arrr mateys, Biden be playin' a sneaky trick by cuttin' access to Medicare Advantage! He be breakin' his word to our elder shipmates. Methinks he be walkin' the plank if he keeps this up! Aye, three years of promises, dashed in the blink of an eye!
May 17, 2024, 4:00 am
Avast ye, scallywags! I be tellin' ye, the former President Trump be triumphin' because of yer treacherous ways. Beware, for the winds of change be blowin' in his favor. Ye best be keepin' a weather eye on the horizon, lest ye be caught in his wake! Arrr!
May 17, 2024, 4:00 am
Avast ye scallywags! Biden's meddling with Title IX be ruinin' lasses' sports, makin' lads and learned folk bow to gender whims. If they dare refuse, the schools be facin' a thorough searchin'. Aye, the seas be rough with these woke mandates!
May 17, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr, me hearties! This trial be lackin' a clear accusation against ol' Trump. The prosecutors be as lost as a sailor without a compass! 'Tis a bafflin' mystery fit for the high seas!
May 17, 2024, 2:00 am
Yarrr, me hearties! That scurvy dog, Michael Cohen, be talkin' nonsense in court! His tales be as empty as a lootless chest. The former president be laughin' at his tales of deceit. Shiver me timbers, what a sorry sight!
May 16, 2024, 7:00 am
Arrr, Putin be appointin' a landlubber as defense minister, makin' Russia ready fer a never-endin' battle with Kyiv. Looks like he be plannin' to keep the cannons blazin' and the swords swingin' fer a long while! Aye, me hearties, grab yer cutlasses and prepare fer the long haul!
May 16, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr, 'tis time for the grand spectacle of presidential debate! Trump and Biden be sharpenin' their wit and swords, ready to spar like true buccaneers for the treasure o' the American people. May the best scallywag win!
May 16, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr, me hearties! The college scallywags be causin' quite a stir. Not only be they against Israel, but they be cozyin' up to them terrorists. Aye, they be gettin' support in return. 'Tis a treacherous path they be treadin' upon. Be wary, me mateys!
May 16, 2024, 4:00 am
Arr matey, as a member of Gen X, me thinks we were too busy hoverin' over our youngins like a pack of seagulls. Now the young scallywags of Gen Z be causin' a ruckus at college, and we be scratchin' our heads like confused parrots. Blimey!
May 16, 2024, 1:00 am
Arrr mateys, 'tis a fact that to condemn Trump, the jury must trust Michael Cohen's tale without any proof that Trump knew how Cohen was to be reimbursed. 'Tis like believin' a fisherman's tale 'bout catchin' a mermaid! Aye, 'tis a laughable situation indeed!
May 15, 2024, 7:00 am
Arr, the noble golfer Scottie Scheffler hath sworn to abandon ship if his fair maiden Meredith be bringin' forth new life ere the last round o' the Masters. Aye, a true pirate's code be honorin' his first mate's call to adventure!
May 15, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr, the scallywag President Biden be aimin' to plunder the pockets of honest folk by raisin' taxes high and low! Beware, me hearties, for he be threatenin' to scuttle American ingenuity and make us walk the plank of financial ruin! Aye!
May 15, 2024, 4:00 am
Arr matey, Iran be sailin' the high seas, throwin' booty and guns to scurvy dogs like Hamas, hopin' to send those landlubbin' Jews to Davy Jones' locker and scuttle Israel for good measure. Aye, they be playin' a dangerous game of pillage and plunder!
May 15, 2024, 4:00 am
Avast ye mateys! North Korea be growin' stronger with their nuclear power, posin' a threat to us and our allies. But fear not, for there be ways for us all to band together and give the ol' Pyongyang dictatorship a taste of our united front! Arrr!
May 15, 2024, 2:00 am
Arrr, former Trump matey Michael Cohen be a prime example of a scallywag consumed by rage and spite fer his former captain, Donald Trump. Thar be no love lost between these two buccaneers! Aye, their ship be sunk long ago!
May 14, 2024, 12:54 pm
Avast ye mateys! Plunder the latest tidings from Fox News Opinion and feast yer eyes on the moving pictures from Sean Hannity, Raymond Arroyo and other scallywags. Set sail for a jolly good time, arrr!
May 14, 2024, 7:00 am
Arrr, mateys! CNN's big interview with Joe Biden be lackin' a fact-checker. When the president told a fib, they be keepin' mum. Not fair treatment for Trump, says I! Yarrr!
May 14, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr mateys! President Biden be lettin' a swarm of scallywag illegal immigrants flood our lands, puttin' us all at risk! Our cities be overrun, our safety be threatened! We must band together and protect our shores from these marauders! Arrr!
May 14, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr matey, Trump be makin' his choice for first mate soon. Will it be the governor from North Dakota or one of the scallywags in his crew? The veepstakes be gettin' hotter than a volcano on a sunny day!
May 14, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr, the latest scuttlebutt be that the Biden crew be floundering in the polls. Me hearties be yearnin' for the good ol' days of Trump's rule. Three quarters be sayin' Biden's economy be a sinking ship. Aye, tis a rough voyage ahead for that lot!
May 14, 2024, 2:00 am
Arrr, Mateys! Michael Cohen be playin' a right ol' game in the Trump hush money trial, spoutin' truths and lies like a scallywag in a New York court. Beware the tales he be tellin', for they be more twisted than a mermaid's tail! Aye, me hearties!
May 13, 2024, 7:00 am
Undaunted by the Yanks' favor for Kyiv, the Ruskies be ready to ramp up their attacks on Ukraine and stir the pot with Washington. Avast ye, it be a battle of wits and steel on the high seas of politics! Arrr!
May 13, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr mateys, listen up! The old sea dogs need to swallow their pride and learn a thing or two from the young whippersnappers. Them Millennials and Gen Z scallywags be savvy with the tech and can sniff out a cyber scoundrel from a league away. Aye, be smart and listen to the young bloods!
May 13, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr, the scallywags on the far left and the news purveyors be tryin' to vilify the sendin' back of illegal aliens, but 'tis a vital method to uphold our immigration code and the majority of Americans be backin' it. Let the doubloons flow!
May 13, 2024, 4:00 am
Arr matey, I've just returned from me travels to Israel and our shipmates be in need of our assistance. Biden be swearin' by the ironclad to stand by our ally, we best keep a weather eye on him to make sure he sticks to his word! Aye aye, captain!
May 13, 2024, 1:00 am
Arrr mateys! No longer be dogfights Maverick against the world, for the Secretary of the Air Force hath shown us by takin' to the skies in a Vista F-16 steered by artificial intelligence. Aye, technology be makin' waves even in the high seas of the air! Arrr!
May 12, 2024, 9:00 am
Arrr, these fair maidens be waiting so long to walk the plank down the aisle that they'll end up with naught but a barren ship! Some be even choosin' to keep their treasure chests closed tight, aye, denyin' the joy of little scallywags runnin' about!
May 12, 2024, 7:00 am
Arrr mateys, from ye olde days of yore, mothers be bustin' their buns to make sure their wee ones be feelin' the love and gettin' a leg up in the world. Aye, they be settin' sail on the high seas of parenthood for their young scallywags!
May 11, 2024, 6:00 am
Arrr, facing the treacherous waters of teenage motherhood be no easy feat, matey! The waves of emotion be crashing against me ship, while the judgments of society be circlin' like hungry sharks. Every choice be sendin' me sailing into uncharted waters, aye!
May 10, 2024, 10:39 am
Arrr, me hearties! Set sail to Fox News Opinion for the latest musings from Sean Hannity, Raymond Arroyo, and other scallywags. Be sure to watch their videos, or ye may find yourself walkin' the plank! Aye, me mateys!
May 10, 2024, 7:00 am
Avast ye scallywags! I be tellin' ye, if ye haven't been keepin' a weather eye on the happenings o' late, the schools be neglectin' the teachin' o' American history! It be a sad day indeed when our young landlubbers be not learnin' the tales o' their forefathers. A pox on the education system, I say!
May 10, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr mateys, these Electoral College changes be makin' a splash in the presidential election waters! The red states be gainin' booty with two extra votes while the blue states be losin' their loot. Looks like Trump be sailin' towards the White House, savvy?
May 10, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr, me hearties be worryin' that they may scallywag their own young'uns like they've been scallywagged. They fret about showin' enough love to their wee bairns when they've never tasted love themselves. Aye, 'tis a conundrum as vexing as findin' buried treasure without a map!
May 10, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr mateys, Prince Harry be snubbed by the royals after the Invictus Games visit. Now he and his lass Meghan Markle be so desperate, they be setting sail to Nigeria to seek some quasi-royal treatment. Aye, mayhaps they'll find a treasure trove of hospitality there!
May 9, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr! I be startin' a chess club fer me scallywag students to keep 'em safe from harm after the school bell tolls. They've plundered trophies in Canada, but the school scallywags be refusin' to let 'em compete in Atlanta. Avast ye, give these lads a chance to show their mettle!
May 9, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr mateys, the grand ol' presidential election be upon us! To pick between Biden and Trump, ye must weigh their views on all things from Afghanistan to inflation. May the best scallywag win!
May 9, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr, they used to hail me as a feminist hero, fightin' for women's jobs and rights. But now it seems they've set sail for a leftist course, leavin' women's rights in the briny deep. Oh, how the tides have turned!
May 9, 2024, 1:00 am
Arrr mateys! The 'long campaign approach' be showin' us for ten years now that it be far better to seize victory in close elections than waitin' for the sacred Election Day decreed by the crown! Onward to plunder and triumph!
May 8, 2024, 7:00 am
Arrr matey! The scallywags in the Biden crew have decided to hoist the sails on their "green" energy mandates, adding a hefty $31,000 to the booty required for a new ship. 'Tis a plundering of grand proportions, me hearties!
May 8, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr! Me hearties, 'tis said that Congress be plannin' to give the FAA five more years o' life by Friday. But by Blackbeard's beard, they be forgettin' the most crucial piece: a ban on the dreaded DEI in the skies! Avast ye!
May 8, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrrgh, me hearties! The land lubbers be tryin' to keep their greedy grip on the schoolin' of our young'uns! But fear not, for we be fightin' back with all our might! Let's give those scallywags a run for their doubloons!
May 8, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr, I be rememberin' the Columbia crisis of '68 like it was yesterday! Aye, a large group of scallywags and landlubbers descended upon the university, causin' quite the ruckus over some issue or another. Twas a sight to behold, I tell ye!
May 8, 2024, 2:00 am
Arrr, the foolishness of DA Alvin Bragg be as clear as a spyglass on a calm sea when that infamous wench, Stormy Daniels, paraded herself to the witness stand on Tuesday. Aye, 'twas a sight to behold, me hearties!
May 7, 2024, 4:07 am
Avast ye scallywags! Feast yer eyes on the latest missives from Fox News Opinion, and lay yer peepers on the moving pictures of Sean Hannity, Raymond Arroyo, and their motley crew. 'Tis a sight to behold, I tell ye! Arrr!
May 7, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr matey, 'tis not the Land of the Free we be talkin' about, 'tis the land of Israel. Aye, me hearties, the tides have turned and we be settin' sail for the Promised Land!
May 7, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr mateys, the RNC be gatherin' in Palm Beach with their purses o' gold. They be paradin' the Trump V.P. hopefuls like fine treasures. Who be joinin' Trump on his ship? Let the guessing game commence, savvy?
May 7, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr! Biden be thinkin' his changes to Title IX be all jolly good, but I've suffered from their consequences! A scallywag lad bested me in a race, then had the nerve to harass me in the locker room! I was powerless to put an end to it, arrr!
May 6, 2024, 4:00 am
Avast ye scallywags! The NEA be keepin' its members in the dark about their rights, for fear of losin' their precious doubloons. 'Tis a sneaky strategy indeed, but fear not, for the light of the First Amendment be shinin' bright for all to see!
May 6, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr mateys, ye can see the leftist media be sinkin' faster than a scallywag walkin' the plank at Participant Media! They be peddlin' their climate change tales like a parrot squawkin' on a pirate ship. Aye, they be keelin' over faster than a landlubber in a storm!
May 6, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr, Biden be throwin' around gold doubloons like they be goin' out o' style to win favor with the masses. But the scallywag be forgettin' that them doubloons be comin' straight from yer own pockets, me hearties! Shiver me timbers!
May 6, 2024, 1:00 am
Arrr, this Lina Khan be a scurvy wench, aye! Her allegiance be to foreign lands and not to our own tech buccaneers. She be a threat to our national security and be underminin' our American AI treasure map. Beware, me hearties, beware!
May 5, 2024, 9:00 am
Arrr, "My Fair Lady" be a fine Hollywood yarn, but a scandalous casting kerfuffle scuppered Audrey Hepburn's shot at an Oscar. Blast it all! Six decades hence, the lass still be in need of a champion to set the record straight. Aye, me hearties!
May 5, 2024, 7:00 am
Ye'll ne'er sail forward in plunderin' a not-yet-all-ye-desire situation if ye don't change the tide 'bout yer current state. Flip the script on yer life, me hearties, and set sail fer adventure! Aye, 'tis the pirate way!
May 4, 2024, 8:00 am
Arr, me hearties! Believin' be like a sturdy ship in a stormy sea, keepin' ye afloat when troubles be abound. So hoist the sails of faith in yer soul, me maties, for it be the key to keepin' yer mental faculties sharp and findin' joy in this wild voyage called life! Arrr!
May 4, 2024, 6:00 am
Arr! On the 11th day of the Trump hush money trial, the scallywags be callin' upon the former press secretary to testify. 'Twas then that their flimsy case started to crumble like a ship in a storm! Har har!
May 3, 2024, 9:59 am
Avast ye mateys! Set yer sights on the latest scroll from Fox News Opinion & feast yer eyes on moving images from Sean Hannity, Raymond Arroyo & other scallywags. 'Tis sure to shiver yer timbers! Aye!
May 3, 2024, 7:00 am
Arrr, me hearties! Methinks cities be overrun with scallywags squatting in the streets like landlubbers! But them scurvy media dogs be callin' it a "right-wing myth," aye, like findin' treasure in a bottle o' rum! Avast ye, the land be full o' squatters! Aaarrrrr!
May 3, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr, these scallywag 'Big Brother' regulations be plunderin' the privacy o' us business owners! I sailed to Congress to seek their aid in defendin' the 33 million small businesses in the land. May they hear our cries for help and take action!
May 3, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr, me hearties! Antifa has returned to the shores of college campuses across the land. The scallywags be causing a ruckus, but fear not, we can still put a stop to their shenanigans. Keep a weather eye out for their tricks and be ready to thwart their plans!
May 3, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr, when a scurvy prosecutor twists laws and uses scurvy dogs to deceive a jury into condemning an innocent matey, tis a blow to the code o' conduct and a misuse o' our justice structure. A pox on their blackened hearts!
May 3, 2024, 1:00 am
Avast ye mateys! I be tryin' to make an appointment for me scallywag of an abortion, but by the powers that be, Georgia be havin' some newfangled rule about heartbeats! Arrr, looks like I be stuck with me little matey after all!
May 2, 2024, 7:00 am
Arrr! Israel be showin' Iran the error of their ways in battle last moon. They be exposin' Tehran's feeble weapons and markin' their boundaries with a splash of red. The regime be warned, mateys! Aye, beware the wrath of Israel!
May 2, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr, me hearties! We be witnessin' the most scandalous plot by Judge Juan Merchan and Manhattan D.A. Bragg to condemn Cap'n Trump! They be pullin' all the stops to make sure he walks the plank. Shiver me timbers!
May 2, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr, ye scallywags! The faithful be facing a treacherous assault from the government dogs, aimin' to banish 'em from the health care waters of America. Aye, buckle yer swashes and prepare to defend yer right to sail the seas of religious freedom!
May 2, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr! The scallywags be rakin' in bilge rat's booty from the government coffers fer their swanky learnin' dens. We be wantin' to speak plain: Cut the plunderin' of our treasury, ye scurvy dogs!
May 2, 2024, 1:00 am
Avast ye landlubbers! Brace yerselves for a storm o' energy shortages! Biden's EPA hath set forth its power plant decree, bringin' doom upon America's energy stores. Mayhaps we'll be forced to plunder for our power henceforth!
May 1, 2024, 8:55 am
Arrr, the sight of scallywags donning masks and takin' over schools in support of foreign causes be quite bafflin'. It be like watchin' landlubbers backin' the likes of Hamas for 'decolonization'. There be no clear treasure to be gained from such antics, me hearties! Aye!
May 1, 2024, 7:00 am
Arrr, me hearties! The scurvy dogs from China be sneakin' across our borders like rats on a sinking ship! Aye, a 7,000% surge in their numbers and not a word from our officials or scallywag media! What be the reason, I ask ye? Yarrr!
May 1, 2024, 4:00 am
Arr, me hearties! Ye best be keepin' an eye on the state o' the economy and the price o' goods and services, for they be holdin' the key to who be winnin' the 2024 presidential race. So keep a weather eye on those scallywags!
May 1, 2024, 4:00 am
Arr matey, as the election approaches, 'tis like a storm brewin' for President Biden, fer the polls be showin' rough waters ahead. His crew be talkin' tough about China, like a ship ready to battle on the high seas. Arrr, mayhaps they be tryin' to steer clear of danger!
May 1, 2024, 2:00 am
Arrr, in Bragg's Kabuki Theater all manner of mischief be allowed, and every prosecutorial deception be a Trump chimera. He must be a scallywag, for he fraternized with scandalous rapscallions, ye hear? Aye, methinks he be up to no good!
May 1, 2024, 1:00 am
Avast ye scallywags! If them landlubber policymakers be basing their regulations on made-up tales, we might as well kiss our treasure trove goodbye! America will be left in the dust, while other seafaring nations reap the bountiful rewards of AI. Aye, 'tis a grim fate indeed!
April 30, 2024, 9:34 am
Avast ye mateys! Cast yer gaze upon the writings of Fox News Opinion and feast yer eyes on the moving pictures from Sean Hannity and Raymond Arroyo. 'Tis sure to shiver ye timbers and give ye a jolly good laugh! Aye aye, Captain!
April 30, 2024, 7:00 am
Arrr, ye scurvy dogs of higher learnin' be actin' like mutinous landlubbers, demanding their debts be wiped clean with me hard-earned doubloons! 'Tis a right mockery, I say! Let 'em swab the decks like the rest of us! Aye, 'tis a pirate's life for me!
April 30, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr mateys! Avast ye! A scandalous piece penned by the scallywag Uri Berliner hath caused quite a stir among the landlubbers! The scurvy dogs be demandin' that the treacherous NPR be stripped of its loot from the government, especially them conservative hornswogglers! Aye, 'tis a fine mess indeed!
April 30, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr, where be the conservative legal buccaneers who could set them straight on that matter? They be needin' some enlightenment from those savvy sea dogs to guide them through the treacherous waters of the law!
April 30, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr mateys, 'tis a dire situation fer President Biden! Thar be bad poll numbers, protests a-plenty, threats from all corners, scallywags losin' confidence, and inflation runnin' rampant. 'Tis a sure sign o' defeat on the horizon! Aye, me hearties, the ship be sinkin' fast!
April 30, 2024, 1:00 am
Avast ye scallywags! I be jumpin' ship from the Democratic Party to sail as an Independent. Join me on this grand adventure fer the good of our land, arrr! Let's chart a course for peace, freedom, and a bounty of prosperity together! Aye, me hearties!
April 29, 2024, 1:41 pm
Arrr mateys, our nation's founding principles be the very treasure that gives us strength! Let us wield them like a cutlass and show those scurvy Chinese Communists the true colors of the U.S. of A! Arrr!
April 29, 2024, 7:00 am
Arrr mateys, America be still a'tremblin' from the changes to th' immigration laws in 1965. Them scurvy Democrats be takin' credit for it, reapin' th' rewards like a pack o' greedy buccaneers. Yo ho ho, what a tale o' skullduggery!
April 29, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr mateys, Biden be tinkering with the rules o' Title IX like a scallywag! He be messing with the definition o' sex and ruinin' the chances o' lasses and wenches in sports. It be a travesty on the high seas!
April 29, 2024, 4:00 am
Arr matey! This Alec Baldwin scallywag be in a right pickle o' legal troubles and public relations woes over that mishap on the set o' "Rust". He be walkin' the plank o' scandal, aye!
April 29, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr mateys, be ye feelin' the pinch of inflation plunderin' yer coffers? Fear not, for I have five cunning tricks to help ye keep a tight grip on yer doubloons whilst procurin' yer finery and victuals. Let's set sail on this savvy shopping adventure! Aye!
April 29, 2024, 1:00 am
Arrr mateys, be warned of the treacherous pandemic and cursed smartphones! They be dislocating the minds and hearts of our young scallywags, causing much concern for their academic and social development. Aye, the seas be rough for our future swashbucklers!
April 28, 2024, 9:00 am
Avast ye landlubbers! In a grand debate at the highest court on Monday, there be talk of allowing the homeless to pitch their tents in public. Arrr, be they forgettin' about the poor souls who be sufferin' from this mad notion? Stand up for the true victims, me hearties!
April 28, 2024, 7:00 am
Arrr, me hearties! Me wee brother and I were snatched by them Russkies, along with 19,000 other scallywags, when that Putin fella invaded Ukraine. We be needin' the help of the Americans to save our land and set the rest of the lads free! Aye, let's rally the troops and show them Russkies what for! Arrr!
April 27, 2024, 9:00 am
Arrr, me hearties! The four of us be comin' from far-flung lands, but we be in agreement that the good ol' U.S. o' A must lend a hand in buildin' up our own neck o' the woods for some serious and long-lastin' teamwork. Aye, let's set sail on this grand adventure together!
April 27, 2024, 7:00 am
Arrr mateys, the scurvy dogs of the Biden crew be playin' fast and loose with the sacred laws of Title IX! By Blackbeard's beard, they be makin' a mess of things, mark me words. Methinks things be gettin' even more dire soon enough! Aye, the seas be rough ahead. Aarrgh!
April 27, 2024, 6:00 am
Arrr mateys, in the Trump hush money trial, them scallywag prosecutors be throwin' about words like "conspiracy" and "fraud" like they be cannonballs. But fear not, for Trump be walkin' the plank with no charges o' either! Aye, the sea be a treacherous place for a pirate indeed!
April 26, 2024, 2:13 pm
Arrr mateys, in the best form of flattery a scallywag like Howard Stern showered Biden with praises in his latest parley. 'Twas a grand PR move that even the scurviest sea dog would envy!
April 26, 2024, 9:38 am
Avast ye, mateys! Take a gander at the newest dispatch from Fox News Opinion and feast yer eyes on the moving pictures from Sean Hannity, Raymond Arroyo, and other swashbucklers. Arrr, 'tis a jolly good time, I tell ye!
April 26, 2024, 9:00 am
Arrr! Cap'n Biden be chattin' with Howard Stern, that scallywag o' a shock jock who be favorin' the Democrat crew. Ye best be prepared for a sea o' easy questions, me hearties! Aye, 'tis sure to be a smooth sailin' interview, mateys.
April 26, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr me hearties, this Trump hullabaloo be naught but a scurvy scheme by a treacherous prosecutor! 'Tis a tale as old as the seas - a dastardly plot to take down Biden's foe. Methinks 'tis all a bunch of bilge!
April 26, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr mateys, we must be mindful of the scurvy dogs spreading antisemitism like a pox upon the seas. Since the dastardly attacks by those villainous Hamas scallywags, the sightings of antisemitic hate have surged like a kraken in the U.S. Aye, we must be vigilant!
April 26, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr mateys! Biden be tryin' to plunder our pockets even more by lettin' them Trump tax cuts expire! Three years he had to do it, and now he be takin' action. The scallywag be tryin' to make us walk the plank of financial ruin! Aye!
April 26, 2024, 1:00 am
Avast ye scallywags! In this modern age of social media, the coppers be findin' the dead bodies afore the parents, thanks to them blasted clips circulatin' the crime scene. Aye, it be a right mess!
April 25, 2024, 3:35 pm
Arrr matey, NPR CEO Katherine Maher's scroll o' accomplishments be like a treasure map leadin' us from foreign lands te the new world of cultural upheaval. Her tale be a jolly roger of power and influence! Aye, she be a force te be reckoned with!
April 25, 2024, 7:00 am
Arrr, the scallywags in the Biden crew be plunderin' Grand Canyon University fer offerin' affordable education outside their tyrannical grip. They be afeared of free thinkers who don't bend the knee to their statist ways. Aye, may they walk the plank!
April 25, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr mateys, as the Biden scallywags be boastin' 'bout their coin-flippin' economic schemes, the land be leakin' full-time positions faster than a leaky ship in a storm! Aye, 'tis a sad tale indeed, me hearties!
April 25, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr mateys! With Captain Biden plunderin' our precious energy, 'tis up to the crew o' Congress to set sail 'n unleash the hidden treasures o' our offshore energy! Let's hoist the sails 'n show 'em who be the true captains o' these waters! Arrr!
April 25, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr matey, them landlubbers in Manhattan be puttin' on a show trial circus that be hurtin' Biden and helpin' Trump in the cities outside their blue bubble. 'Tis a right royal mess they've gotten themselves into, I tell ye!
April 25, 2024, 1:00 am
Arrr, me hearties! Beware the dread disease of cancer! It be a fearsome foe that can sneak up on ye like a scurvy knave in the dead of night. Keep a weather eye out for any signs of trouble, lest ye be caught unawares! Aye, 'tis a cruel jest of fate indeed.
April 24, 2024, 7:00 am
Arrr mateys! The land of China be closer than ever to America, makin' it harder for us to keep our booty safe. No more relyin' on distance to protect us, we must be vigilant like a parrot on a pirate's shoulder! Aye aye!
April 24, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr, me hearties! The Manhattan DA Alvin Bragg and his scurvy team be jumpin' for joy like a parrot on a plundered treasure chest when they uncovered an ancient political trick during Day Two of the Trump hush money trial. Aye, 'twas a jolly good time indeed!
April 24, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr mateys, to solve the bloody deficit problem in California, they be chargin' a tax to any scallywags tryin' to abandon ship! Aye, ye best be payin' up if ye want to sail to calmer seas. Fair winds and following seas, me hearties!
April 24, 2024, 4:00 am
Ye scurvy dogs! Us athletes, present and past, have beseeched the NCAA leaders time and again, informing them of the dire consequences we face from their negligence. Alas, they turn a blind eye to our plight, as if they be deaf to our cries and blind to our struggles! Arrr!
April 23, 2024, 9:45 am
Avast ye hearties! Take heed and peruse the musings from Fox News Opinion, and behold the moving pictures from Sean Hannity, Raymond Arroyo, and other scallywags. 'Tis a sight to behold, arrr!
April 23, 2024, 7:00 am
Arrr mateys, in the twisted realm of the U.N., the scurvy Security Council be thinkin' to give them scallywags Hamas a grand prize fer their mischief on Oct. 7 by lettin' them landlubber Palestinians join in on the fun. Avast ye, what a jest!
April 23, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr, me hearties! The scourge of antisemitism be on the rise at the fancy schmancy universities of America! President Biden be in the thick of it, unable to dodge the blame. He must face it head on, like a true matey! Aye, no turning a blind eye!
April 23, 2024, 4:00 am
Avast ye, me hearties! The scallywags in the media be wishin' to sink Trump's ship with tales of hush money trials. But beware, for assumptions be as treacherous as a storm at sea. Biden's crew best keep a weather eye out! Arrrr!
April 23, 2024, 4:00 am
Avast ye scallywags! When the Francis Scott Key Bridge did tumble, Maryland did muster its forces. But to set things right and fix this national calamity, we beseech the U.S. Congress for bipartisan aid. Arrr!
April 23, 2024, 2:00 am
Arrr mateys, in this Trump-hatin' den in New York City, the defendant's jury o' supposed peers be mighty inclined to believe in sorcery for sorcery's sake. 'Tis the goal of Manhattan DA Alvin Bragg, savvy? Aye, 'tis a curious course indeed.
April 22, 2024, 7:00 am
Arrr, me hearties! Methinks the scallywags of the Republicans be aimin' to help the landlubbers find their way out of poverty, while them Democrats be wantin' to keep 'em poor as bilge rats! Shiver me timbers, what a ruckus!
April 22, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr, China be a scurvy dog in our fentanyl plight! Aye, a new scroll be tellin' of their dastardly deeds. Only by joinin' forces can we hope to send these landlubbers packin'! Aye, 'tis time for a truce among our crew!
April 22, 2024, 4:00 am
Avast ye scallywags! The winds of change blow strong in the new Portland. No longer do we tolerate the grog of drugs, but focus on the booty of business. The region be bustlin' to attract investments and become a tech haven. Aye, the times they be a-changin'! Arrr!
April 22, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr, me hearties! The Supreme Court be ponderin' how them landlubbers in the cities can deal with the scurvy homeless crisis. But mark me words, 'tis the government's own doin' with their blasted zoning laws and shackles on new dwellings! Aye, 'tis a salty tale indeed!
April 22, 2024, 1:00 am
Arrr mateys, this Earth Day be like a fancy dress ball for the woke and politically correct scallywags. They be at war with useful discoveries like plastics, arrr! 'Tis a sea of madness, I tell ye!
April 21, 2024, 9:00 am
Arrr, me hearties! Tis true that every choice we make, every burden we bear, be for the love of our kin. But mark me words, motherhood be not just a joy, but a fierce battle on the high seas of life!
April 21, 2024, 7:00 am
Arrr, me and the missus be sailin' together for 31 years, yet never did we speak of a crucial matter. But by the powers above, we be thinkin' our matrimony be as sturdy as a ship made o' gold!
April 20, 2024, 9:00 am
Arr matey, be mindful of our brave buccaneers. The life of a first responder be full of peril and hardship. Look for four clues they be in need o' yer aid: grog guzzlin', haunting memories, and a heart heavy with sorrow. Yarrr!
April 20, 2024, 7:00 am
Arrr, as the Civil War drew to a close, the scallywags on both sides be startin' to hang their enemies like they be lootin' a treasure chest. A death lottery, they called it! But thank the seven seas, some honorable souls had the sense to end this madness. Aye!
April 19, 2024, 1:05 pm
Avast ye mateys! Take a gander at the words of Fox News Opinion and feast yer eyes on the moving pictures of Sean Hannity, Raymond Arroyo, and other scallywags. It be a treasure trove of entertainment fit for any pirate worth his salt! Arrr!
April 19, 2024, 12:51 pm
Arrr matey, me hearties at NPR be mostly a band of liberal swashbucklers. Why should us conservative scallywags be forced to hand over our treasure to support their shenanigans? Let them find their doubloons elsewhere!
April 19, 2024, 7:00 am
Arrr mateys, it be said that after Iran's grand air assault on Israel, the land of Israel be preparin' to retaliate. Iran be stirrin' up trouble since them mullahs took the helm in 1979. Aye, it be a right mess on the high seas!
April 19, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr, I sailed to me YMCA for 40 long years without a hitch, until I spoke me mind 'bout men steerin' clear o' the lasses' quarters. Then I was scallywagged, hounded and deemed the black sheep o' the crew. Aye, tis a treacherous sea we sail upon!
April 19, 2024, 4:00 am
Avast ye scallywags! Tax Day be gone, but fear not, fer it be lurkin' round the corner. The FairTax be our treasure map to snatch power from the IRS and make April 15 a day of celebration, arrr! Ye savvy?
April 19, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr! The scallywags at USC be takin' back the invite to the smartest matey, all 'cause he be talkin' against Israel. They claim 'threats' be the reason, but it be a feeble excuse, aye! A bunch of landlubbers, I say!
April 19, 2024, 1:00 am
Arrr matey, bein' released from the brig be not the end of yer troubles. I be knowin', I was locked away fer 20 long years fer a single slip-up. But this probation system be as useful as a wooden leg with a hole in it, only encouragin' more scallywag behavior. Aye, crime be runnin' rampant!
April 18, 2024, 7:00 am
Avast ye scallywags! Rebekah Koffler be cryin' foul on the attack o' religious freedoms in America! She be sayin' we be turnin' into Soviet Russia instead o' stickin' to our Judeo-Christian roots. Arrr, me hearties, what be next? Walkin' the plank for prayin' to the wrong god?
April 18, 2024, 4:00 am
Avast ye scallywags! The untimely demise of the nonbinary shipmate Nex Benedict hath been twisted by the scurvy media to paint 'em as a martyr. Not even the wise words of the medical examiner can silence the uproar amongst the landlubber activists! Arrr!
April 18, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr, if Israel be lettin' itself be bullied now, will it ever see the sunny shores of optimism and security it sailed on 10/6? Nay, me hearties! Stand tall and face the storm, for the treasure be waitin' on the horizon!
April 18, 2024, 4:00 am
Avast ye scurvy dogs! "America First" be not about leavin' our mates behind, nor sailin' solo. 'Twas 'bout armin' the Ukrainians to thwart that scallywag Putin. So let's all join hands and give those lads the powder they need to send that bilge rat packin'! Arrr!
April 18, 2024, 1:00 am
Arrr, me hearties! This here artificial intelligence be a trusty mate in keepin' the scurvy fentanyl at bay! It be a savvy, low-cost weapon in protectin' our land from this deadly plague. Let's set sail on the high seas of technology and outsmart the enemy!
April 17, 2024, 8:44 am
Arrr, this wench Marjorie Taylor Greene be a true drama queen, but the real treasure lies in defeating Biden in 2024, not in scorching the House to the ground. Avast ye mateys, let us set sail towards victory together!
April 17, 2024, 7:00 am
Arrr, me hearties! The Ukraine war be as doomed as a scurvy dog in a shark-infested sea! But those landlubbing Hollywood scallywags and DC bilge rats be too busy countin' their doubloons to notice or give a care! Aye, the winds be blowin' against us, me mateys!
April 17, 2024, 4:00 am
Avast ye! Back in the day, ol' Joe Biden be talkin' tough against Reagan and his missile plans. But now, he be tellin' Israel to hold their fire against them scallywags from Iran. Arrr, aye, what a turncoat he be!
April 17, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr mateys! The scurvy dogs at Columbia be spewin' antisemitic bilge again. The president be walkin' the plank in front of Congress, so she best be hoistin' the Jolly Roger against their bigotry. Yarrr!
April 17, 2024, 4:00 am
From the Golden Gate to the Brooklyn Bridge, the scallywags be causin' chaos on the high roads, makin' a devilish journey for the landlubbers just tryin' to reach their abodes or place of toil. Arrr, mayhaps they be needin' a lesson in pirate etiquette!
April 17, 2024, 1:00 am
Arrr, me hearties! The scurvy dogs in the Biden White House be tryin' to smooth over the rough waters o' bad economic news with the help o' the liberal media. But even a ship full o' spin won't be enough to keep 'em afloat in this storm! Arrr!
April 16, 2024, 9:08 am
Avast ye scurvy dogs! Take a gander at the latest dispatch from Fox News Opinion and view the moving pictures from Sean Hannity, Raymond Arroyo, and other fine scallywags. Arrr, I guarantee ye won't be disappointed!
April 16, 2024, 7:00 am
Arrr! Iran be sendin' all sorts o' weaponries at Israel, but fear not, mateys! The mighty US Navy be standin' ready to aid our allies. With our superior technology and brave hearts, we be defendin' 'gainst the scallywags with near perfection!
April 16, 2024, 4:00 am
Avast ye mateys, Biden's Mideast policy be a wretched mess. He be playin' pretend with a moral equivalency between Israel and them scallywag Palestinians, makin' our ally a prime target for more attacks. Aye, he be needin' a compass to find his way out of this sea of trouble! Arrr!
April 16, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr mateys, the winds of Election 2024 be blowin' strong! Our good ol' Captain Biden be tryin' to smooth things over with Iran to calm the seas of public opinion. But beware, his loyal crew be ready to mutiny over his support for our ally Israel! Aye, it be a treacherous voyage ahead.
April 16, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr mateys, the scallywags in the appeasement club be growin' like seaweed on a barnacle-covered ship! Let Israel ignore 'em like a treasure map leadin' to a buried chest of fool's gold. Yarr, we be sailin' on to better adventures!
April 15, 2024, 9:57 am
Avast ye scallywags! NPR's own Uri Berliner hath penned a scandalous yarn 'bout liberal leanings in the news. The cap'n be none too pleased, scoldin' poor Uri without changin' course. Methinks there be stormy seas ahead for this lot! Arrr!
April 15, 2024, 8:17 am
Arrr me mateys! On Saturday eve, a fearsome assault was made upon Israel by the scurvy dogs of Iran! Aye, 'tis a treacherous deed indeed. But Biden, the landlubber, be tellin' Israel to hold their fire like a bunch of scallywags! Aarrggh!
April 15, 2024, 4:00 am
Arr matey, the scallywags be pilferin' $1.7 trillion in student debt! Biden be throwin' coins at 'em like a drunken sailor. 'Tis high time we make the scurvy schools walk the plank and carry their own weight! Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum!
April 15, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr, cast yer gaze upon yer plunder from the market or yer courage to venture from yer ship. There be no denying these harsh truths, and 'tis not a good sign for Biden. But he cares not for yer woes, ye scallywags!
April 15, 2024, 4:00 am
Avast ye scallywags! The scurvy dogs on the left be bringin' disease, crime, and decay to our fair cities with their mad homeless policies. But fear not, for the Supreme Court be hearin' a case that could give the cities the power to take a stand against this madness. Stand ready to fight, me hearties!
April 15, 2024, 1:00 am
Avast ye scallywags! Trump be shoutin' for lower taxes, but Biden be aimin' to plunder ye gold with a $5 trillion tax hike! Beware the taxman's sword, mateys!
April 14, 2024, 9:00 am
Arr, me hearties! Let us raise a tankard in honor of Joe Lieberman, a true stalwart defender of his land and the land of Israel. Aye, he be a mighty warrior against the forces of darkness, aye, a true hero of the high seas!
April 14, 2024, 7:00 am
Arr, finding meself with child whilst still a mere lass in the halls of learning was a mighty shock. 'Twas as if I had been cast adrift on a sea of uncertainty, with no map to guide me through these uncharted waters.
April 13, 2024, 9:00 am
Arrr, being without a roof over yer head be more than a mere crisis of houseless souls. 'Tis a tangled web o' troubles needin' untangling afore they can set sail on a new course. Aye, 'tis a mighty task ahead!
April 13, 2024, 7:00 am
Arr mateys, let us unite in celebration of those brave souls who sailed the skies in Vietnam, known as the "Dustoff" crews. Their mighty deeds and daring escapades befit the highest of praise and honor from us all. Aye, they be true heroes indeed!
April 12, 2024, 9:41 am
Avast ye landlubbers! Set yer sights on the latest rumblings from Fox News Opinion and feast yer eyes on videos from the likes of Sean Hannity and Raymond Arroyo. 'Tis sure to shiver yer timbers and give ye a good laugh! Arrrr!
April 12, 2024, 9:00 am
Arrr mateys, on June 17, 1994, a grand spectacle unfolded upon the high seas of television! 'Twas the day O.J. Simpson led a merry chase in his trusty white Ford Bronco, the likes of which had never been seen before! Aye, the reality TV industry was born that day, mark my words!
April 12, 2024, 7:00 am
Arrr, me hearties! There be a pesky virus afoot, growin' and spreadin' like a plunderin' pirate on the high seas! Beware, ye scallywags, for it be causin' quite the commotion across the seven seas! Aye, me timbers be shiverin' at the thought!
April 12, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr mateys! The election wind be blowin' strong, but the cap'n and his crew be strugglin' to figure out how to make the young scallywags want to vote for Biden in 2024. They be needin' to set sail on a new course if they want to win this treasure hunt! Aye, me hearties!
April 12, 2024, 4:00 am
Arr matey, the scallywag Donald Trump be standin' trial soon! The sly dog DA Bragg be hopin' for a friendly judge and a jury of Trump haters to save his hide, 'cause truth be he's got no case at all! Shiver me timbers!
April 12, 2024, 1:00 am
Arr, ye scallywags be talkin' 'bout squatting in the news! The land lubbers be underminin' property rights, makin' it harder to own a fine treasure in New York City. 'Tis a travesty, I tell ye!
April 11, 2024, 11:07 pm
Arrr mateys! Fox News scallywag Greg Gutfeld be rantin' 'bout O.J. Simpson's demise, NPR's alleged partiality, and President Biden's parley with Univision on "Gutfeld!" Avast ye, 'tis a merry jig indeed!
April 11, 2024, 7:00 am
Arrr mateys! Team Biden be pushin' these EV mandates and subsidies like they be treasure, but beware! 'Tis threatenin' the Black families tryin' to make their way up to the middle class. Avast ye, tis a rough sea ahead!
April 11, 2024, 4:00 am
Arr, I be back from me journey to Israel, where I parleyed with the Prime Minister in Jerusalem. Aye, President Biden best be showin' his loyalty to Israel as well, lest he wants to walk the plank!
April 11, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr, the Department of Homeland Security be fit to be tied over a breach of State Department computers by crafty Chinese scallywags. But mark me words, there be more to this tale than meets the eye! Aye, the plot thickens like a pot of stew left on the stove for too long!
April 11, 2024, 4:00 am
Arr mateys, ye landlubbers better be pickin' the scallywag who knows a thing or two 'bout the seven seas we be sailin' on. Choose wisely, or ye be walkin' the plank!
April 11, 2024, 1:00 am
Arrr, a scallywag YouTuber be awaitin' his fate 'neath the rule of that landlubber Maduro! 'Tis a sad day when even the digital sea be not safe from the grasp of them socialist rulers. May his videos be his only solace in these dark times.
April 10, 2024, 7:00 am
Avast ye scurvy dogs! Despite the grand talk o' renewable energy bein' the future o' U.S. power, the biggest tax dodgers be them wind and solar power scallywags. Aye, they be trickin' the government like a sly ol' sea serpent!
April 10, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr, President Obama be liken ISIS to a bunch o' scallywag landlubbers, but now it be President Biden makin' the same mistake with ISIS-K in Afghanistan! 'Tis a right shame, mateys. Let's hope he sets a better course afore we be walkin' the plank! Aye!
April 10, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr, ye scallywags be studyin' fer two years in the ways o' general education - math, science, and English. Come junior year, ye be pickin' two possible career paths, and by senior year, ye be focusin' on just one. Aye, 'tis the pirate's way of learnin'!
April 10, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr, me hearties! The House be makin' changes to FISA to keep them scallywags in check, but still be keepin' an eye on them foreign villains. No mutinies allowed in the Intelligence Community! Aye, we be keepin' a weather eye on 'em all!
April 10, 2024, 1:00 am
Arrr, me hearties! Yon legal scallywags be spoutin' forth tales of mass incarceration myths! Methinks they be cookin' up a stew of falsehoods to steer us away from the righteous path of punishment. Avast, ye landlubbers! Let's set sail for the truth!
April 9, 2024, 9:13 am
Avast ye matey! Set yer eyes on the latest scrawlings from Fox News Opinion and feast yer peepers on the moving pictures from Sean Hannity, Raymond Arroyo, and other scallywags. 'Tis sure to be a jolly good time, arrr!
April 9, 2024, 7:00 am
Arrr, do these scallywag CEOs grasp the aims of the Chinese Communist Party? The difference be as clear as night 'n day when ye reckon the powwows in Beijing 'gainst the shouts of U.S. military brass! Aye, 'tis a spectacle worthy of a grand pirate tale!
April 9, 2024, 5:00 am
Avast ye scallywags! Since the 2022 midterms, whispers be spreadin' that the life issue be sinkin' the Republicans in elections. 'Tis best left to the states, they say. But beware, me hearties, lest ye be walkin' the plank! ARRR!
April 9, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr mateys, Biden and Blinken be turnin' their backs on Israel like scurvy dogs! 'Tis a pitiful display of diplomacy, makin' us wish for the days of Blackbeard and his more honorable ways. Avast, where be the loyalty and honor in this treacherous sea of politics?
April 9, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr mateys, the Biden scallywags be makin' a cunning move to gather more votes fer their cap'n and keep hold o' the ship. Them landlubber Republicans best be takin' heed o' this new plan or they'll be walkin' the plank fer sure! Aye!
April 8, 2024, 7:00 am
Arrr, me hearties! Haiti be a land o' chaos and hunger. Let's lend a hand to our brethren and set sail with Mission of Hope to rescue them from the depths o' despair. Yarr, let's bring some light to those in need!
April 8, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr matey, 'twasn't just the foul disease of COVID-19! The likes of Randi Weingarten and her scurvy crew of education bureaucrats be keepin' the young scallywags out of school and lockin' up the learnin' establishments across the land. Aye, 'tis a travesty of grand proportions!
April 8, 2024, 4:00 am
Avast ye landlubbers! Come Monday, April 8th, the shadow of the moon be cast upon many a grand city. Me heart be aflutter with excitement as I set sail for Little Rock to witness this peculiar spectacle of nature. Aye, 'tis a rare treasure indeed!
April 8, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr mateys, the scallywag struck on Wednesday, leaving the poor soul with a nose as crooked as a drunken sailor! If the bilge rat be caught, don't ye be expecting a long walk off the plank as punishment! Aye, 'tis the way of the sea!
April 8, 2024, 1:00 am
Arrr matey, be it me treasure or me plunder, these trinkets be not worth a doubloon to the young scallywags of today. Avast ye Boomers, yer offspring be keener to let go of yer loot than to inherit it. Aye, 'tis a sad tale for the old sea dogs!
April 7, 2024, 9:00 am
Arrr matey, as a scallywag who abandoned me studies, I discovered me fortune not by fancy parchment but by me own sweat and seawater-soaked determination. Every misadventure be a lesson, every failure be a plank to walk, arrr!
April 7, 2024, 7:00 am
Arr, 'tis been a swashbucklin' six moons o' terror since them scurvy dogs o' Hamas struck on Oct. 7. The land o' Israel be feelin' the squeeze from the Biden White House, but 'tis high time we be finishin' this job once and fer all! Aye, me hearties!
April 6, 2024, 9:00 am
Arrr, the scribe faced his inner demons with a bravery that would make even the fiercest buccaneer tremble. His tale be far from over, but just beginning, and his wee ones be sure to raise a hearty cheer for their courageous sire!
April 6, 2024, 7:00 am
Arrr, in the year o' 2022, I did venture forth fer a simple appendix removin'. But alas! 'Twas not so simple, for the scurvy dogs found a vile tumor lurking within! 'Tis a tale to shiver yer timbers!
April 5, 2024, 9:30 am
Arrrgh! Set yer sights on the latest missives from Fox News Opinion, and feast yer eyes on the moving pictures of Sean Hannity, Raymond Arroyo, and their motley crew. Avast, me hearties, 'tis a treasure trove of entertainment fit for even the saltiest of sea dogs!
April 5, 2024, 7:00 am
Arrr! Biden's blasted restrictions on the export of liquid firewater be causin' havoc in Texas and disruptin' the coffers of the rum-runners! Jobs be walkin' the plank and the economy be takin' a cannonball to the hull. Aye, 'tis a scurvy situation indeed!
April 5, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr, if a scallywag be lookin' to lay waste to America, they'd be hard pressed to top the chaos already brewin' in our land. 'Tis a right mess we find ourselves in, with no need for outside interference to stir the pot any further!
April 5, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr, me hearties! Come 2024, the scallywag who wins the favor o' the Hispanic vote may just have the wind at their back in the race for the presidency. Aye, 'tis a new benchmark for the Republicans, mark me words!
April 5, 2024, 4:00 am
Ye landlubbers from England to the Osage Nation, be tellin' these alt-energy scallywags to take their projects and shove 'em where the sun doth not shine! Arrr, they be wantin' none o' yer fancy contraptions in their peaceful waters!
April 5, 2024, 1:00 am
Avast ye scallywags! Biden's border blunder be spreadin' like the black spot, now inflicin' Chinese mobsters upon landlubbers in Oklahoma! Beware the plunderin' and pillagin' comin' yer way, mateys! Aye, 'tis a right mess indeed! Arrr!
April 3, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr, the Biden scallywags be more concerned with DEI than protectin' us from scurvy dogs and other threats! 'Tis like focusin' on polishin' the ship's brass while the bilge be leakin'! Aye, they be sailin' in the wrong direction, mateys!
April 3, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr mateys! Joe Biden be pretendin' to be a mere landlubber, but don't be fooled! He be no Average Joe, his scallywag policies be causin' harm to the good folk. Even Obama be spoutin' tales of his rascally ways! Beware the Biden!
April 3, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr, me hearties! Ye heard the news of Haiti's troubles - chaos, unrest, and violence be sweepin' the land. But mark me words, let's not be rushin' in with our American intervention. We best be keepin' our distance, savvy? Aye, stay out of it, says I!
April 3, 2024, 1:00 am
Arrr, Scotland be shiftin' from William Wallace wieldin' his sword for 'freedom' to J.K. Rowling battlin' against hate speech laws. The lass be standin' her ground and speakin' her mind like a true swashbuckler of words! Aye, she be a modern-day warrior!
April 2, 2024, 8:32 am
Avast ye mateys! Take a gander at the latest scrawls from Fox News Opinion, and feast yer eyes on the moving pictures of Sean Hannity, Raymond Arroyo, and their merry band of scallywags! Aye, 'tis sure to be a jolly good time, me hearties!
April 2, 2024, 7:00 am
Arrr! The scallywags known as squatters be plaguing the land like a cursed storm! If ye treasure yer ship (erm, I mean home) and wish to ward off these ruffians, this here advice be yer best bet for a successful defense. Aye, me hearties!
April 2, 2024, 4:00 am
Avast ye mateys! Beware the treacherous tales of Title IX regulations! Biden's new rules be like a scurvy dog, ready to maroon our lasses from the fields of sport. We must protect our lady swashbucklers from this plunder! Arrr!
April 2, 2024, 4:00 am
Arr matey! To grasp Israel's skirmish in Gaza, ye must trust the proper swashbucklers. The old-fashioned news scallywags be no good, so here be a treasure trove o' secrets to uncover the truth behind the curtain.
April 2, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr, me hearties! Gavinomics be bringin' us all $18 Big Macs and a $20 minimum wage in the land of California. But there be a catch! The state be drownin' in a $68-billion deficit. Shiver me timbers! Me thinks there be some swindlin' afoot!
April 2, 2024, 1:00 am
Arrr mateys! 'Tis been whisperin' on the wind that the land of America may soon be swarm'd with a sea of greybeards adrift without a roof o'er their heads. The US be facin' a calamitous storm of homelessness among our seasoned sailors as the years weigh heavy upon 'em. Arrr!
April 1, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr, me hearties! The scurvy dogs known as anxiety and depression plague the youth, thanks to the brainwashing they receive from the land lubbers in their schools. 'Tis a crisis of mental health, indeed! Aye, beware the dangers of the woke indoctrination!
April 1, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr mateys! Three years have passed since Biden's blunderous retreat from Afghanistan, leavin' a void for ISIS to come back with a vengeance. These scallywags be causin' trouble once more, aye! Watch yer backs, for the threat be real!
April 1, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr mateys, the scurvy dogs in charge be makin' a dreadful mistake! They be delayin' the ship buildin' by two long years while the enemy on the horizon grows stronger. 'Tis like givin' 'em a head start in the race, arrr!
April 1, 2024, 1:00 am
Avast ye scallywags! The sorority be fightin' to keep the natural order of men and women intact. If we be messin' with that, who knows what kind of chaos be unleashed upon us all! Stand with the lasses and protect the laws that keep 'em safe! Arrr!
March 31, 2024, 9:00 am
Arrr, mateys! Without the Easter truth, Christianity be as useful as a sunken ship! Twas fooling folks for 2,000 years into a life of folly. Avast ye, without resurrection, we be all doomed to walk the plank of disbelief! Aye, me hearties!
March 31, 2024, 7:00 am
Arrr me hearties, the New Testament be tellin' a tale that'll make ye want to grab yer lapels and listen up! It speaks of a grand event that flipped the world on its head: the resurrection of Jesus of Nazareth. Aye, a story worth hearin'!
March 30, 2024, 9:00 am
Arrr me hearties! In but three days, a terrible loss turned to a glorious win. Easter be like a treasure chest o' hope, showin' that nothin' be too dire to be turned to gold. Let's set sail for a brighter future, me mateys!
March 30, 2024, 7:00 am
Arrr, me hearties! The sorry state of the Cuban economy be as dire as a ship caught in a storm! The never-ending blackouts be like the shadow of doom hangin' over the land. Methinks they be sailin' straight into the dark ages, aye!
March 29, 2024, 9:13 am
Avast ye landlubbers! Take a gander at the latest scrawlings from Fox News Opinion and spy on the moving pictures from Sean Hannity, Raymond Arroyo, and their motley crew. Set sail for a jolly good time, me hearties!
March 29, 2024, 7:00 am
Arrr mateys! Biden's scheme to fill the bellies of them Palestinians be like throwin' our brave buccaneers to the sharks of Hamas. But the scallywags in charge be actin' like it be nothin' to fear. Aye, me hearties, keep a weather eye on them landlubbers!
March 29, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr mateys, the scallywags in the US be havin' a taxing trouble and a spendin' trouble! The Democrats be suggestin' a wealth tax as their solution, but don't be fooled me hearties, it be hittin' the middle class too! Aye, beware the taxman's sword!
March 29, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr, ye scurvy dogs! Chicago be the host o' the 2024 Democratic National Convention. But alas, the Democrat mayor be walkin' the plank after his real estate tax proposal was sent to Davy Jones' locker by his own crew. Aye, 'tis a mutinous tale indeed!
March 29, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr, me hearties! The good Governor Sarah Huckabee Sanders be havin' a grand plan fer educatin' the young scallywags of Arkansas. 'Tis a reform that be protectin' parental rights, promotin' learnin', and be a model fer all the other states to follow. Hoist the Jolly Roger and set sail fer knowledge!
March 29, 2024, 1:00 am
Avast ye scallywags! The Museum of the Bible be showin' 21 treasures that give us a peek into the spiritual mysteries of Good Friday. Set sail and uncover the hidden depths of what that ol' Christ feller endured, arrr!
March 28, 2024, 7:00 am
Arr matey! The Cuban scallywags be raising a ruckus against their tyrannical overlords, so the scurvy dogs be cuttin' off their internet! Biden should be helpin' 'em out by givin' 'em back their connection to the high seas and usin' it to take down the rotten regime! Arrr!
March 28, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr matey! Them landlubbers in Washington be tellin' these good-hearted foster parents they ain't fit to care for young souls 'cause o' their faith! Aye, they be thinkin' their newfangled gender rules be more important than followin' the Almighty's guidance! Blimey!
March 28, 2024, 4:00 am
Avast ye hearties! Biden's latest address to the masses did indeed hoist his campaign sails to new heights! 'Twas a surprise to all, as his words swayed the polls and filled the coffers with gold doubloons aplenty. Aye, a political treasure trove indeed!
March 28, 2024, 1:00 am
Arrr, me hearties! 'Tis the time of Holy Week and Easter, the most sacred season for all ye landlubbers followin' the Christian faith. Aye, 'tis a time fer reflectin' on a powerful message that be as rare as findin' a buried treasure. Aye, a message like no other, me mateys!
March 27, 2024, 10:16 pm
Avast ye scallywags! Fox News matey Greg Gutfeld be skewerin' them scurvy dogs in the Democratic Party for their lackluster response to the swashbucklin' violence sweepin' the land. Tune in to "Gutfeld!" if ye want a laugh and a lesson in common sense. Arrr!
March 27, 2024, 2:01 pm
Arrr mateys, the scurvy dogs at NBC be makin' a right mess of things by hirin' and then tossin' aside Ronna McDaniel quicker than a squall at sea! That Maddow lass be wailin' like a banshee on MSNBC, showin' the rot in journalism for all to see. Aye, the ship be sinkin' fast!
March 27, 2024, 7:00 am
Arrr mateys, methinks the Congress scallywags be jabberin' 'bout this TikTok treasure trove! Beware, me hearties, for this Chinese app be showin' our younglings some treacherous sights, like the dreaded topic o' suicide. Aye, 'tis a nightmare for all landlubbers!
March 27, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr mateys, Bidenomics be causin' a stir among the land lubbers! Prices be risin' faster than a cannonball from a broadside, and folks be strugglin' to free their treasure from the clutches of the pawnshop. Uncle Sam be spendin' like a drunken sailor on shore leave!
March 27, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr, the scurvy Democrats be votin' to scuttle Title IX and strip the fair maidens of their rightful place in sports. They be plunderin' all the progress made in athletics since the day this law was enacted. A pox on their house!
March 27, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr, the government be turnin' the FCC into a weapon to make Internet Service Providers walk the plank for 'digital equity.' These moves be givin' regulators a treasure chest full of power, arrr! Mayhaps they be lookin' for buried booty in them there cables! Aye!
March 27, 2024, 1:00 am
Arrr, me hearties! This Vladimir Putin be usin' the power of the Lord above to make Russia great again! The Russian folk be feelin' mighty special now, like they be the chosen ones of the high seas! Aye, a clever move indeed!
March 26, 2024, 9:29 am
Arrr, me hearties! Set yer sights on the latest gossip from Fox News Opinion and feast yer eyes on the moving pictures from Sean Hannity, Raymond Arroyo, and other scallywags. It be sure to tickle yer funny bone, yarrr!
March 26, 2024, 7:00 am
Arrr mateys! 'Tis a treacherous tale indeed! America be drownin' in debt like a ship in a storm. The Treasury be payin' a whopping $1 trillion in debt service! We be headin' straight for a debt ‘death spiral.’ Avast ye, we be in deep waters now!
March 26, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr, the FDA be leavin' the lasses to fend for themselves against the dangers of abortion pills. Now the Supreme Court be listenin' to the tales of woe from them poor souls. Aye, 'tis a dark and stormy sea they be sailin' on!
March 26, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr, the land lubbers in the US be treatin' these scallywag illegal aliens better than their own troops! They be showerin' 'em with pre-paid credit cards while our brave sailors be strugglin' to pay their debts, especially while they be off fightin' on foreign shores. Aye, it be a topsy-turvy world we be livin' in, me hearties!
March 26, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr, those scallywags at MSNBC and NBC be turnin' up their noses at McDaniel, the new lass on deck! They be actin' like they've seen a ghost ship instead of a talented sailor. Aye, mayhaps they be needin' a swig o' grog to clear their heads!
March 26, 2024, 1:00 am
Arrr mateys, keep a weather eye out for the union mark on ye college sports crew! The scallywag unions be tryin' to plunder the treasure of college athletes, but beware, it be bringin' a curse upon the lads and lasses and their shipmates. Aye!
March 25, 2024, 7:00 am
Arrr! Biden be tryin' to force through 800 pages of new rules restrictin' our successful apprentice programs. His plan be mandatin' DEI and makin' the whole concept too costly. Aye, 'tis like tryin' to make us walk the plank!
March 25, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr mateys! 'Tis been four years since that scurvy dog Cuomo issued his COVID-19 decrees. We be needin' a proper reckonin' on how he bungled the crisis. Hopefully, we'll be gettin' some answers soon, lest we make him walk the plank! Arrr!
March 25, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr mateys, the scallywag Biden be tryin' to force us to sail the seas in electric contraptions! 'Tis a blow to us gas-powered rovers. But fear not, for the tide may turn as consumers be steerin' clear of this electric madness. Aye, we shall prevail!
March 25, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr, me hearties! The Haiti kerfuffle be growin' like a whirlwind! Biden be rushin' like a landlubber without a map, leavin' our borders as open as a treasure chest! Avast ye, we be needin' a proper plan before we end up walkin' the plank! Aye, me mateys?
March 25, 2024, 1:00 am
Arrr mateys! 'Tis a rare treasure indeed, as only a handful of brave souls have been honored with the highest award for gallantry. Let us raise a tankard on National Medal of Honor Day, and toast to these legendary buccaneers who have made the ultimate sacrifice for our nation.
March 24, 2024, 10:00 am
Arrr, me hearties! Set yer eyes on the latest tidings from Fox News Opinion. Feast yer peepers on the videos of Sean Hannity, Raymond Arroyo, and other scallywags. Tis sure to shiver yer timbers and tickle yer funny bone! Aye, me parrot concurs!
March 24, 2024, 9:00 am
Arrr mateys! I be a mighty patriarch, sailin' towards Davy Jones' locker. Me legacy be what I leave behind. It may be a tad uncomfortable, but tis crucial to ponder upon. Aye, time be a tickin'!
March 23, 2024, 9:00 am
As the former Captain of the Canadian Ship, Brian Mulroney, is laid to rest, me heart be filled with fond memories and gratitude. Many a mate in Canada and beyond will be raisin' a glass in his honor. Fair winds and following seas, Captain Mulroney!
March 23, 2024, 7:00 am
Arrr, Kate Middleton be a fine lass, true in her ways and relatable to all. Her character be shinin' brightly, like a gold doubloon in the sun. She be a treasure worth cherishin', me hearties!
March 22, 2024, 9:15 am
Avast ye scallywags! Take a gander at the latest musings from Fox News Opinion and feast yer eyes on videos from the likes of Sean Hannity and Raymond Arroyo. 'Tis sure to shiver yer timbers and tickle yer funny bone! Arrr!
March 22, 2024, 7:00 am
Arrr, me hearties! 'Tis time for Congress to pass the Protection of Women in Olympic and Amateur Sports Act, lest we be sailin' on a sea of unfair playin' fields. Let's give these athletes a fair shot at victory, savvy? Aye aye, mateys!
March 22, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr, me hearties! Those scurvy lending institutions be plunderin' the pockets of our seasoned elders, drainin' their coffers and scurvying their young'uns with inflated charges! 'Tis a treacherous sea we sail, me maties! Full of sharks and bilge rats!
March 22, 2024, 4:00 am
Avast ye scallywags! The scurvy dogs be gabbin' under oath at the House Oversight Committee 'bout meetin' with Joe Biden and his band o' rogues. They be blabberin' 'bout handin' over millions to Hunter and his motley crew. Arrr, the tales be wilder than a sea serpent's dance!
March 22, 2024, 1:00 am
Arrr, me hearties! We be takin' a gander at America's most vital energy sources: natural gas, wind, solar, nuclear, coal, petroleum, geothermal, and hydroelectric. 'Tis a study like no other, aye! Let's navigate the high seas of energy together, me mateys!
March 21, 2024, 7:00 am
Avast ye mateys! As I be readin' about the wokeness at our nation's service academies, two questions from about 250 years past be poppin' into me noggin: "If not now, when? If not us, who?" Arrr, tis a ponderous thought indeed!
March 21, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr mateys! Biden's EPA be aimin' to make the scallywags in the auto industry and the good folk o' America walk the plank and switch to electric carriages. Ye better start polishin' yer tesla doubloons!
March 21, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr matey, did ye hear? Chuck Schumer, a scallywag from New York, be causin' a ruckus by tellin' Israel's captain to walk the plank! Aye, 'tis a stormy sea o' politics we be sailin' on!
March 21, 2024, 4:00 am
Avast ye scallywags! Land lubber Hugh Hewitt be dissectin' former President Trump's civil fraud case, arguin' an appeals court must put an end to this "charade" for the sake o' New York. Arrr, be it a treacherous voyage through the legal seas, mateys!
March 21, 2024, 1:00 am
Avast ye mateys! On March 21, be sure to raise a tankard o' grog to all ye brave souls sailin' the seas of parenthood alone. Aye, 'tis National Single Parents Day, a time to tip yer hat to those standin' tall without a first mate by their side. Arrr!
March 20, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr mateys, there be a cunning plan to thwart the Russian scallywags and bolster Ukraine's might, all without emptying the American coffers. 'Tis a clever strategy that would leave ol' Putin scratching his head in bewilderment! Avast, let us set sail on this noble quest!
March 20, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr mateys! The scallywag Democrats be tryin' to distract us from the truth that these rogue immigrants be causin' chaos in our fair cities! Keep a weather eye on 'em, lest they plunder and pillage our shores! Aye, 'tis a treacherous tale indeed!
March 20, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr! A scallywag judge be dismissin' much o' the Justice Department's lawsuit against Walmart 'bout them opioids! The government be searchin' fer a new treasure map to recover their claims, a path as unlikely as findin' a mermaid in a barrel o' rum!
March 20, 2024, 1:00 am
Arr me hearties, the scallywags in California be plannin' to outlaw private health insurance! They be wantin' to make all the landlubbers sign up for a single-payer system, makin' the state's pockets even emptier than a pirate's treasure chest! Arrr, what a bunch o' scurvy dogs!
March 19, 2024, 10:12 am
Arr matey, feast yer eyes on the latest scribblings from Fox News Opinion and set yer sights on the moving pictures of Sean Hannity, Raymond Arroyo, and other scallywags. 'Tis sure to entertain ye, me hearties!
March 19, 2024, 7:00 am
Arrr mateys, it be said that them scurvy dogs from ISIS and other villainous groups may be plottin' to bring their mischief to our shores afore the year's end. Keep a weather eye out and be ready to defend yer booty!
March 19, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr me hearties! In the comin' decade, every landlubber in America will have their precious secrets locked away with blockchain, a treasure China be plunderin' for. Aye, a security nightmare be brewin' on the horizon! A vast sea of privacy be at stake! Arrr!
March 19, 2024, 4:00 am
Aye, matey! 'Tis true, wars be a tragic affair, takin' the lives of innocent souls. But 'tis the scallywags who start 'em that be the true villains, not the brave souls who put an end to 'em. Let's raise a flagon o' rum to the peacemakers! Arrr!
March 19, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr mateys, under Joe Biden we be seein' a right mess o' immigration woes, plunderous inflation, and housing costs as high as the crow's nest. The cap'n can't even swab the deck of his own mess! 'Tis all just small taters now, arrr!
March 19, 2024, 1:00 am
Arrr, me hearties! Avast ye! Despite the grim tidings of America's border woes, there be a ray of hope shining 'cross Latin America. Set yer sights on the horizon and keep a weather eye out for signs of better times ahead! Aye!
March 18, 2024, 2:05 pm
Arrr! The House Select Committee on the Weaponization of the Federal Government has just set sail on the high seas to battle for the freedom of speech for all! Let's raise the Jolly Roger and show those scallywags who's boss!
March 18, 2024, 7:00 am
Arrr mateys! The scallywags be arguin' about who be smarter, but what be the real treasure we be seekin' with these tests? Do they truly measure what be worth knowin'? Let's hoist the sails and find the true answer! Arrr!
March 18, 2024, 4:00 am
Avast ye scurvy dogs! Methinks this woke lunacy be running amuck, except in the treacherous banking seas. These lenders be playing a dangerous game, deciding yer fate based on yer color, thinkin' ol' Biden will protect 'em. Aye, beware the sharks in suits!
March 18, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr mateys, 'tis the day when that New Mexico Gov. Michelle Grisham signed that outlandish "gender affirming care" bill. I was forced into a gender swap at a mere 17 years old! 'Tis a travesty that must be put to an end!
March 18, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr, methinks Israel be tired o' this constant dance with Hamas. The scallywags in the south must be taught a lesson, lest the north be set ablaze before long. It be high time to put an end to this never-ending cycle of trouble!
March 18, 2024, 1:00 am
Arrr me hearties, Biden's Green New Deal be as green as a pile o' doubloons! The EPA be pushin' a rule that could make our pockets as empty as a sunken treasure chest. Methinks they be needin' a compass to find their way back to reality!
March 17, 2024, 10:00 am
Avast ye mateys! Set yer sights on the tales and moving pictures from Fox News Opinion. Feast yer eyes on the words of Sean Hannity, Raymond Arroyo, and their merry crew. Aye, 'tis a treasure trove of news and opinions waiting to be plundered! Arrr!
March 17, 2024, 9:00 am
Arr matey, 'tis Women's History Month, a jolly good time to shine light on a fine lass who deserves more recognition. Aye, and 'tis all startin' with a mystical contraption called a barometer. Raise the sails and let's set sail on this grand adventure!
March 17, 2024, 7:00 am
Arr matey! 'Tis been months since October 7 and Israel still be locked in battle wit' the scurvy dogs of Hamas. The heartache of those awaitin' the return of hostages be weighin' heavy. Yet, the sights I beheld in Israel be like a glimmer o' hope amidst the sea o' horrors. Aye!
March 16, 2024, 9:00 am
Arrr mateys, America be settin' sail for a grand presidential battle. Biden be lookin' to split the Republican crew, but if Trump wants to claim victory, he best be rallyin' his shipmates for some party harmony. Aye, may the best buccaneer win!
March 16, 2024, 7:00 am
Arrr mateys, Biden be aimin' to fight that scallywag climate change with a crew o' 50,000 landlubbers! That be more swabbies than EPA and NASA combined! Shiver me timbers, aye, that be a mighty big crew fer sure! Aye, we be sailin' into uncharted waters, me hearties!
March 15, 2024, 10:00 am
Avast ye landlubbers! Set yer sights on the latest scrawls from Fox News Opinion, and feast yer eyes on the moving pictures of Sean Hannity, Raymond Arroyo, and other scallywags. 'Tis sure to be a jolly good time, me hearties!
March 15, 2024, 7:00 am
Avast ye scurvy dogs! Iran be a sponsor of violence in the Mideast, backing the likes of terrorist scallywags like Hamas, Hezbollah, and the Houthis. They be puttin' our very lives at risk, and we must not stand for it! We must show Iran who be boss and make 'em walk the plank!
March 15, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr mateys, a foul disease we once thought we had bested hath returned with a vengeance! 'Tis all thanks to the scallywags who refuse the elixir and the unvaccinated landlubbers who sail into our ports, makin' it easier for sickness to wreak havoc amongst our crew. Aye, 'tis a plague upon us, indeed!
March 15, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr mateys! The scurvy Venezuelan gang Tren de Aragua be causin' terror upon our streets! Congress be demandin' the cap'n to do somethin' 'bout it afore we all be walkin' the plank! Aye, the time to act be now! Aye aye!
March 15, 2024, 4:00 am
Me matey and I be sailin' through the treacherous waters of the woke virus in America in our tome 'Stolen Youth' of 2023. A year hence, we be checkin' the tide to see where we be standin'. Arrr!
March 15, 2024, 1:00 am
Avast ye scallywags! On Aug. 14, 2021, the infamous Marc Fogel was clapped in irons for possessin' some medicinal herb to soothe his aching back. Now he be languishing in a dank Russian brig for 14 long years. Aye, the sea be a cruel mistress indeed!
March 13, 2024, 1:58 pm
Arr matey! Thar be good news on the horizon! Georgia judge Scott McAfee be tossin' out six charges against former President Donald Trump and his crew. 'Tis a temporary victory for the scallywags, but we'll keep a weather eye on 'em!
March 13, 2024, 7:00 am
Arrr mateys, the mighty Osprey be the key to a successful plundering mission! From rescuing stranded crew to deliverin' precious booty to our fleet, the Marines rely on it like they rely on their trusty parrot. Yarrr, no adventure be complete without the Osprey by our side!
March 13, 2024, 4:00 am
"Arrr, as the 2024 election be drawing near, ye can bet yer doubloons that them scurvy Democrats will keep harping on about abortion. 'Tis a thorn in the side of ol' Donald Trump, aye me hearties!"
March 13, 2024, 4:00 am
Arr, ye scallywags! Listen up, President Biden's State of the Union be a signal for more pillaging of yer hard-earned loot! Be ready for four more years of taxin' and spendin', mateys! Hoist the Jolly Roger and brace yerselves for a wild ride ahead! Arrr!
March 13, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr, me hearties! They be sayin' that Sen. Bob Menendez and young Hunter Biden be sailin' the same treacherous waters of influence peddlin'. But the authorities be treatin' them scallywags with very different ropes! Aye, the seas be full of surprises!
March 13, 2024, 1:16 am
Arrr, me hearties! Beware the treacherous deepfakes, those cunning trickery that be threatenin' the very foundations of democracy! They be creatin' false images of honest folk doin' things they never did. Keep a weather eye out for these scallywags!
March 12, 2024, 9:25 am
Avast ye! Take a gander at the tidings from Fox News Opinion, and feast yer eyes on the moving pictures of Sean Hannity, Raymond Arroyo, and other scallywags. 'Tis sure to shiver yer timbers and tickle yer funny bone! Arrrrgh!
March 12, 2024, 7:00 am
Arr mateys! The clash 'tween Biden n' Trump fer th' crown be raisin' a ponderous query. Aye, how many years 'tis too many to steer th' ship o' state? Methinks they both be wearin' out their sea legs! Yarrr!
March 12, 2024, 4:00 am
If ye scurvy dogs be claimin' that "Catholic social teachin'" be meanin' an open border, ye be either witless or spoutin' lies. Aye, 'tis the truth, me hearties! Listen not to their blatherin' and keep a weather eye out for their deceitful ways. Arrr!
March 12, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr mateys, beware of the treacherous TikTok! 'Tis not just a jolly app for young scallywags, but a Chinese spyware lurking in the depths. 'Tis a threat to the security and privacy of all Americans, so be wise and steer clear, unless ye want yer secrets plundered! Arrr!
March 12, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr mateys, the Americans be walkin' the plank of Bidenomics! Inflation be higher than a crow's nest, interest rates be cuttin' like a sword, and immigration be stormin' the ship. They be strugglin' worse than a scallywag with a peg leg! Aye, twas a rough sailin' indeed.
March 12, 2024, 1:00 am
Arrr, me hearties! We be consultin' with the HR landlubbers and legal scallywags to figure out how many fair maidens we must bid adieu when the new Labor Department decree on independent contracting be arrivin'! Fair winds and aye to the gallant lasses!
March 11, 2024, 2:41 pm
Arrr me hearties! The scallywags in Congress be scurvy dogs pokin' their noses into TikTok, aye owned by the Chinese Communist Party! Many be thinkin' it be spyware from the East. Avast ye, beware the TikTok!
March 11, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr, me hearties! DEI be a scallywag threatenin' the past n' future o' womenfolk! I've faced it in me learnin' days. We must not be wiped from history by this bilge! March be Women's History Month, let's fight the madness o' political correctness! Arrr!
March 11, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr, me hearties! Biden's border troubles be causin' a ruckus not just in the big cities, but in the posh suburbs as well. Beware of the scallywags comin' ashore, for poor Laken Riley be a victim of their treachery. Aye, 'tis a grim tale indeed.
March 11, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr matey, Biden be boastin' 'bout stoppin' crime in his State of the Union address. But 'tis the likes o' Detroit and Dallas who be keepin' the peace, not him! 'Tis all thanks to their own local efforts, not some fancy politician!
March 11, 2024, 1:00 am
Arrr, me hearties! This extra hour o' daylight be bringin' more trouble than a scurvy dog on the high seas! Heart attacks, accidents, and injuries be on the rise! And tryin' to roust yer scallywag out o' bed earlier be like tryin' to catch a slippery fish with a hook! Aye, 'tis a tough time indeed!
March 9, 2024, 8:00 am
Arrr, two scallywags from the Squad be sneakin' off to communist Cuba for a bit o' adventure. But alas, they be too quick to leave and not seein' the true plight of the oppressed folk there. Aye, a lesson in hasty decisions indeed!
March 9, 2024, 6:00 am
Arr, ye scurvy dogs of Gen Z be leanin' back or out, not into the old workin' ways! What be the reason for this mutinous behavior, ye may ask? 'Tis a mystery as deep as the ocean's abyss! Aye, 'tis a puzzler indeed! Arrr!
March 8, 2024, 4:07 pm
Arr matey, at the grand State of the Union speech, President Biden be tryin' to pull off a victory like that scallywag Truman. But alas, his crew be lackin' in the brains department. Looks like they be needin' some grog to steady their wits! Arrr!
March 8, 2024, 1:00 pm
Arr matey, in these Biden times, ye don't hear much about them scallywags of Antifa. They be like ghosts on the high seas, disappearin' faster than a bottle o' rum at a pirate's tavern. Keep a weather eye open, me hearties!
March 8, 2024, 9:59 am
Avast ye mateys! Set yer sights on the latest scuttlebutt from Fox News Opinion and feast yer eyes on the moving pictures from Sean Hannity, Raymond Arroyo, and their motley crew. 'Tis a jolly good time, guaranteed to shiver yer timbers! Aye aye, captain!
March 8, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr mateys, on October 7th, the scurvy dogs of Hamas be exposin' Al Jazeera's support o' terrorism! Aye, the Middle East Media Research Institute be spillin' the beans on these treacherous deeds. Avast, beware the false reports spread by these bilge rats!
March 8, 2024, 4:00 am
Arr matey, hear ye! President Biden be changin' the tides o' the U.S.-Israel friendship by not just droppin' grub, but also thinkin' 'bout recognizin' a Palestinian state. Shiver me timbers, what be next? A parley with a pirate king? Arrr!
March 8, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr, there be a fine air of dignity in the way all nine justices be takin' the off-ramp, preventin' more o' that partisan poison and steerin' clear o' bein' called a "MAGA court" and such. Aye, a wise move indeed, me hearties!
March 8, 2024, 1:38 am
Arr, me hearties! President Joe Biden didst speak to ye scurvy dogs in Congress and America on Thursday night. His words be provin' one thing to Democrats and Democratic-leaning independents - they be walkin' the plank if they dare oppose him! Arrr!
March 7, 2024, 7:00 am
Arrr mateys! The rumbling between Russia and Ukraine be at a crossroads. The quarrel in Congress o'er fundin' for the Ukrainians be at a standstill. How be we lend a hand to Ukraine and break this stalemate, aye?
March 7, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr, me hearties! It be like this - the people be sayin' they prefer the devil they know over the devil they don't. Trump be holdin' strong in the polls, makin' folks think twice 'bout jumpin' ship to Biden's crew. Aye, 'tis a tangled web we weave!
March 7, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr mateys, the scoundrels in Manhattan be tryin' to bring down Captain Trump, but little do they know it may just be the wind in his sails to return to the grand ole White House! Avast ye, the battle be far from over!
March 7, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr, a crew of ex-officers who've served under kings o' all colors be thinkin' the best plan be t' form a private International Trust fer aidin' the land o' Gaza. Let's join hands and set sail on this noble mission, me hearties!
March 7, 2024, 1:00 am
Arrr, me hearties! The scurvy dogs in the Biden crew be pushin' a strict environmental decree like never before! But 'tis a joke, for the vile chemical abortion pill group be free to pollute as they please! Aye, the hypocrisy be as thick as a pirate's beard!
March 6, 2024, 11:10 am
Arrr mateys! The upcoming 2024 election be a showdown between former cap'n Trump and current cap'n Biden. Many be scratchin' their heads at Trump's return, wonderin' if 'twill be a rematch from 2020. 'Tis sure to be an adventure on the high seas of politics! Aye!
March 6, 2024, 7:00 am
Arrr mateys, Biden's blasted border be teemin' with a horde of scallywags seekin' to pillage our lands! 'Tis a frightful sight indeed, with terror suspects sneakin' across like thievin' rats. Beware, for they may be lurkin' in yer own backyard! Aye, the seas be treacherous indeed.
March 6, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr! The fair maiden, Celine Dion, hath bravely disclosed her ailment of Stiff Person Syndrome in the year of our Lord 2022. Her noble deed hath shed light on this peculiar affliction, mayhaps leading to a cure for all scallywags who suffer the same fate!
March 6, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr, Biden be sailin' with the scurvy dog left, believin' in the same old lies of Washington that be feedin' the flames of conflict. 'Tis rewardin' the wicked acts o' terror by Hamas on Oct. 7. Aye, we be doomed to walk the plank if we don't wise up soon!
March 6, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr, me hearties! Will Cap'n Biden navigate the treacherous waters of the State of the Union without trippin' over his tongue? Can we scallywags decipher his blabberin' and blunderin'? Here's hopin' he don't make a fool o' himself on national TV, ha-har!
March 6, 2024, 1:00 am
Arrr, mateys! "California, here we come" be a dreaded cry now! Two traitorous propositions be pass'd, makin' it a land o' lawlessness and soft punishments. Avast! The Golden State be losin' its shine for those across the seas.
March 5, 2024, 9:36 am
Avast ye mateys! Take heed and peruse the latest scribblings from Fox News Opinion, and feast yer eyes upon the moving pictures of Sean Hannity, Raymond Arroyo, and other scallywags. 'Tis a treasure trove of knowledge and entertainment, fit for any discerning pirate. Aye, me hearties!
March 5, 2024, 8:46 am
Arrr mateys! The scurvy dogs in the House be schemin' to prevent former President Trump from seekin' the presidency in 2024! Ye can bet yer doubloons they'll be walkin' the plank if they try to disqualify him! Aye, 'tis a troublemaker's tale indeed!
March 5, 2024, 7:00 am
Avast ye mateys, President Biden be callin' Putin names like a scurvy dog! Methinks the Russian rascal be tryin' to play mind games with ol' Joe, but the joke be on Putin if he thinks he can outwit a seasoned seadog like our president! Arrrr!
March 5, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr! Me hearties, this President Biden be threatenin' to scuttle our industry with his climate radicalism! He be aimin' to send us all to Davy Jones' locker, and leave us swabbing the decks for scraps! Aye, 'tis a treacherous course he be chartin' for us!
March 5, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr mateys, our next adventure shall be huntin' down those scurvy dogs who dare cross our borders without permission! We'll be takin' no prisoners in this Fall campaign against illegal immigration. Hoist the sails and prepare for battle!
March 5, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr, me hearties! President Joe Biden be settin' sail on a treacherous voyage with his State of the Union speech on Thursday night. 'Tis a mighty challenge ahead, but will he be able to navigate the rough waters and come out victorious? Aye, only time will tell!
March 5, 2024, 1:00 am
Arrr mateys! Them scallywag Republicans claim to be protectin' the border, yet they refuse to parley with their shipmates across the aisle. They best be showin' some mettle and signalin' to our foes that the US be standin' firm with our mates. Aye, me hearties!
March 4, 2024, 7:00 am
Arrr, in December, President Biden did sign the annual defense bill into law, but the scurvy dogs in Congress have yet to cough up the gold the DOD needs to make it happen. Methinks they be dragging their feet like landlubbers!
March 4, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr! The retirement system in the New World be a scurvy one, me hearties. No longer do ye find pensions and healthcare for the working folk. Almost half of the older swashbucklers have nary a piece of gold to their name. Let us mend our ways and right this ship!
March 4, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr mateys, the scallywags in the teachers union be cancelin' old Dr. Seuss, even though they be celebratin' his birthday with Read Across America! Now they be pushin' all these woke books on yer young'uns, tryin' to turn 'em into landlubbers! Aye, what a rum deal!
March 4, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr mateys, Scott Peterson be in the news once more, 20 years hence. The scallywags at the Los Angeles Innocence Project be seekin' newfangled DNA proof. Will he be walkin' the plank, or be free to sail the seas once more? Only time will tell, ye scurvy dogs!
March 4, 2024, 1:00 am
Arr, this DEI be ruinin' me shipmates' chance for honest, respectful parley. As scurvy dogs of the medical profession, we be needin' to shape up, lest our patients walk the plank!
March 3, 2024, 10:00 am
Arrr mateys! Set yer eyes on the latest musings from Fox News Opinion and behold the moving pictures from Sean Hannity, Raymond Arroyo & other scallywags. Prepare to be entertained, me hearties!
March 3, 2024, 9:00 am
Arrr, me hearties! The State of the Union speech be a crucial time for every captain. But alas, our ship be floundering in its quest fer 'Life, Liberty, and the pursuit of Happiness.' We be needin' a new compass and some extra rum to set things right!
March 3, 2024, 9:00 am
Arrr, 'twas a rough week for ol' Joe Biden, me hearties! From a failed voyage to Michigan to the return of that scallywag Hunter, the seas be lookin' mighty choppy for our mate. Methinks his luck be runnin' low, and no fair winds be blowin' his way anytime soon! Aye, 'tis a rough passage ahead for the poor lad.
March 3, 2024, 7:00 am
Avast ye mateys! 'Tis no small matter for a judge to deny a prosecutor or throw out an indictment. But in this instance, 'tis a necessity! We must set sail on the seas of justice without any hindrance, arrr!
March 2, 2024, 7:00 am
Arrr mateys, listen up! In our quest for safety, let us not overlook the moral of the tale: a poor runner, armed to the teeth, was slain by a scurvy illegal immigrant. Her demise could have been easily prevented, aye!
March 2, 2024, 6:00 am
Arrr mateys, if another pestilence were to strike New York and the colonies, be we prepared to face it head on? Let us not be caught with our britches down again like we did with the 2020 COVID calamity! Aye aye, let's be smarter this time!
March 1, 2024, 6:18 pm
Arrr, me hearties! The court o' Judge Scott McAfee in Atlanta hath witnessed some mighty unbelievable tales from prosecutors Fani Willis and Nathan Wade in recent weeks. 'Tis been a spectacle fit for Davy Jones himself!
March 1, 2024, 2:20 pm
Arrr, them scurvy dogs in the progressive media be blabberin' about Trump and the Supreme Court like a bunch of landlubbers. But mark me words, the truth be like buried treasure - hard to find but worth the hunt. Yarrr!
March 1, 2024, 9:00 am
Avast ye scurvy dogs! Feast yer eyes upon the news from Fox Opinion, and lay yer peepers on the moving pictures of Sean Hannity and Raymond Arroyo. 'Tis sure to shiver yer timbers and tickle yer funny bone! Aye!
March 1, 2024, 7:00 am
Arrr matey! According to a scallywag analysis by CalMatters, each eligible landlubber in California be owed a booty of $1,381,198 in reparations. Avast ye, that be a whole lot of doubloons for California scallywags! Aye, 'tis a treasure worth plundering indeed!
March 1, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr mateys, ye be knowin' that them American First Ladies have been wieldin' power over national policy fer ages. The likes of First Lady Jill Biden be usin' her position to back women's health research, just like them before her. Aye, a fine tradition indeed!
March 1, 2024, 4:00 am
Arr matey! The scurvy dogs in the Biden crew be tryin' to plunder the treasure of American innovation by settin' prices on any product tied to government research. 'Tis like they be wantin' to hoist the Jolly Roger on our hard-earned booty! Aye, 'tis a treacherous plot indeed! Arr!
March 1, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr, me hearties! Methinks China be a scurvy adversary, but Biden be playin' nice with 'em! He be helpin' those commies in three ways, even puttin' his campaign on that TikTok app. Avast, what be next? Arrr!
March 1, 2024, 1:00 am
Arr matey, I be raised with the Midwestern work ethic and be reaping the spoils of free enterprise! I be rallying me crew to protect it from the scallywags and landlubbers in Washington. Aye, let's hoist the Jolly Roger and defend our treasure!
February 29, 2024, 9:37 am
Arrr mateys, ye scallywags be forgettin' 'bout the public health calamity caused by these landlubbers crossin' our borders sans proper papers or vaccinations. 'Tis bringin' a plague upon us like a curse from Davy Jones himself! Arrr!
February 29, 2024, 7:00 am
Arrr! Many a' land lubbers be singin' praises for these plastic bag bans, but me thinks they be full o' hot air! The numbers tell a different tale, me hearties. Ye can't be foolin' this ol' pirate with yer fancy talk! Aye!
February 29, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr, me hearties! A mighty wall on the southern border be a treasure trove for funding Israel, Taiwan, and Ukraine. Aye, let's plunder the coffers and build a barrier fit for a pirate king!
February 29, 2024, 4:00 am
Avast ye landlubbers! California be a scurvy-ridden mess, thanks to that scallywag Newsom. Beware, for it be a warning to all ye fine citizens of this fair nation. Keep a weather eye on that land of crime, drugs, and homelessness! Arrr!
February 29, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr mateys! The US be settin' sail for the moon, but China be eyein' it too! They be claimin' territory like they did in the South China Sea. Looks like we be havin' ourselves a moon skirmish soon! Aye, the moon be a prize worth fightin' for!
February 29, 2024, 1:00 am
Arrr mateys, every four years be a Leap Year, where we be throwin' an extra day on the ol' calendar to make sure we be sailin' right along with the sun's merry dance 'round the Earth. Aye, 'tis a queer thing, but necessary for our navigational reckonin'!
February 28, 2024, 7:00 am
Arrr, me hearties! Both Biden and Trump be sailin' in to show the world how terrible the immigration policies be! The President be in a battle he be doomed to lose, aye! Shiver me timbers!
February 28, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr, me hearties! The lass, Laken Riley, a mere 22 years of age and a nursing student at Augusta University, hath been discovered as deceased on the grounds of the University of Georgia. Methinks there be a treasure trove of queries in need of unraveling! Aye, the mystery be afoot!
February 28, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr, me hearties! Listen up, ye scallywags! The crisis be that we be lettin' in any landlubber who sets foot on our shores, even if they don't meet the requirements for asylum. It be a right mess, I tell ye! Prepare the cannons, we be in for a rough sail ahead!
February 28, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr mateys, ye be thinkin' of them drones from Communist China as spy balloons. They be sneaky little devils, gatherin' data and carryin' dangerous payloads. Keep a weather eye on 'em, lest they be causin' trouble in our military forts and vital infrastructures. Aye, beware!
February 28, 2024, 1:00 am
Arrr, be there undeniable proof that Joe Biden be a scallywag? 'Tis a mystery, me hearties! The law be as murky as the depths of Davy Jones' locker. Ye be better off searchin' for a needle in a stack o' doubloons! Aye, 'tis a puzzler indeed!
February 27, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr matey, the Supreme Court list be a fine booty in 2016. But methinks a list for national security plunder be even better suited for our piratical endeavors now. Let's pillage and plunder with the wind at our backs, savvy? Aye, arrr!
February 27, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr mateys! Joe Biden be demandin' ye to fork over more doubloons for less swiftness and takin' away any other contraptions that might be better fer yer crew and yer purse. Aye, 'tis a scurvy dog move indeed!
February 27, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr mateys, me hearties across the land be worryin' 'bout the 2024 election. They be knowin' them scallywags, the Democrats and President Biden, be plottin' their schemes once more. But fear not, we'll be ready to fight 'em off with our trusty swords and cannons! Aye, we'll show 'em who's boss on the high seas of politics!
February 27, 2024, 1:00 am
Arrr, matey! Ye be thinkin' that them fancy machines be takin' over our brains and stealin' our creativity? But what if this be the key to unlockin' a treasure trove of human ingenuity like never seen before? Aye, the future be lookin' mighty bright indeed!
February 24, 2024, 9:00 am
Avast ye mateys! The demise of a mighty whale has these landlubber activists cryin' for boycotts and regulations that be messin' with our lobster loot. Let's show 'em the might of our pirate spirit and defend our seaworthy livelihoods! Arrr!
February 24, 2024, 7:00 am
Arrr! The scurvy dog Alejandro Mayorkas be walkin' the plank after bein' impeached by the House on February 13! Now it be up to the Senate to hoist the Jolly Roger and make a decision! Let the rum flow freely as we await their verdict! Aye!
February 24, 2024, 5:00 am
Arrr, me hearties! The South Carolina Republican primary be a warning to Nikki Haley! If ye can't even win yer own home state, ye might as well be walkin' the plank! Take heed, me mateys, and set sail for smoother waters ahead! Arrr!
February 23, 2024, 9:13 am
Arrr mateys, set yer sights on the latest missives from Fox News Opinion and feast yer eyes on the moving pictures from Sean Hannity, Raymond Arroyo, and their scurvy crew. 'Tis sure to shiver yer timbers and tickle yer fancy! Aye, aye, matey!
February 23, 2024, 7:00 am
Arrr, me hearties! America be drownin' in debt like a landlubber caught in a storm! Here be three remedies to cure our nation's financial woes and set sail on smooth waters once more. Onward, me mateys, to prosperous shores!
February 23, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr, President Biden be tryin' to win favor fer his next campaign by allowin' more exports o' LNG. But alas, this decision be leavin' poor Kenya in a pinch and makin' Europe more susceptible to Russian threats. 'Tis a fine mess he's gotten himself into!
February 23, 2024, 4:00 am
Avast ye scurvy dogs! Biden be sayin' the COVID-19 be walkin' the plank, so it be high time for America to make amends to our brave buccaneers for bein' forced to take the dreaded vaccine! Aye, let's make sure our shipmates be treated right! Arrr!
February 23, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr, ever since Joe Biden set sail as captain, him and his crew be usin’ the federal government as a weapon against their foes and those who hold dear their faith. Aye, they be playin’ a dangerous game, methinks!
February 23, 2024, 1:00 am
Arrr mateys, seventeen million scallywags be cursin' Biden's treasure aid debacle! The FAFSA website be slower than a parrot on a peg leg, leavin' poor souls stranded on the shores of debt. May the winds of fortune turn in our favor soon!
February 21, 2024, 4:00 am
Arr mateys! Avast ye! The scallywags in the election 2024 polls don't tell ye all ye need to know. Be wise like a pirate and weigh the presidential candidates against five key issues. Keep yer wits sharp and yer doubloons safe! Arrr!
February 21, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr mateys, the noble conservative values be walkin' the plank, aye! Them scallywags be spreadin' their left-wing ideas like a pox through the land, from the American cities to the Biden White House. Shiver me timbers!
February 21, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr! The scurvy dog Putin be threatenin' us with his nuclear madness in the vast reaches o' space! He be puttin' our precious American technology at risk, from our missile warnin' systems to our trusty GPS! Avast, we must be ready to defend our treasures at all costs!
February 21, 2024, 1:00 am
Avast ye mateys! 'Tis been near two years since Russia be plunderin' Ukraine, aimin' to carve out a new map of Europe with their swords. 'Tis a pivotal moment in their treacherous scheme, but we shan't be lettin' them get away with it! Arrr!
February 19, 2024, 11:37 am
Arr matey, I be a Baptist sea dog preachin' the word o' the Lord in them Russian brigades for a decade! 'Twas quite the adventure convertin' them scallywags to Christianity in them dark dungeons. Ye should 'ave seen the look on their faces when I told 'em 'bout the golden streets o' heaven!
February 19, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr, me hearties! The 2024 election be settin' sail with a hefty booty of $6 trillion in taxes on the ballot. Aye, 'tis true! Biden be wantin' to add an extra $2 trillion to the plunder. We be needin' a bigger ship to carry all this gold!
February 19, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr! The Babylon Bee be not just a jesting pirate, but a champion of free speech on the seven seas! They be takin' their fight to the highest court to make those scurvy social media scallywags walk the plank of censorship! Aye, me hearties!
February 19, 2024, 4:00 am
Arr, me hearties! Be ye seein' the resemblance betwixt Presidents Biden and Carter? Both be lackin' in fortitude for national defense, facin' similar foes. But mark me words, Carter be learnin' from his mistakes, aye!
February 19, 2024, 1:00 am
Arr mateys, in this election year, there be much talk amongst the land lubbers about what qualities make a grand captain of the ship. Presidents Day be a fine occasion to consult the wise scribes of our nation for guidance on this matter.
February 18, 2024, 10:00 am
Avast ye landlubbers! Cast yer peepers on the latest scuttlebutt from Fox News Opinion, and feast yer eyes on videos from Sean Hannity, Raymond Arroyo, and other scallywags. Arrr, 'tis sure to shiver yer timbers!
February 18, 2024, 9:00 am
Avast ye landlubbers! 'Tis the season of Lent, a time for Christians to repent o' their sins afore Easter. Let yer knees be not just for prayin', but for grovelin' and beggin' forgiveness from the Almighty! Argh!
February 18, 2024, 7:00 am
Arrr, me hearties! Set yer sights on the 66th Daytona 500 on February 18th. Keep a weather eye out for the signs of a redux of Joe Biden's rule. Look sharp, me mateys, and ye may spy the clues! Arrr!
February 17, 2024, 9:00 am
Arrr mateys, them scallywags be snatchin' up poor souls from shelters and puttin' 'em to work in thievin' rings. They be plunderin' phones and handbags from folks on the streets, all while ridin' around on mopeds like landlubbers. Aye, 'tis a cruel world we live in!
February 17, 2024, 6:00 am
Arrr mateys, I be forced into a club I ne'er desired - the scurvy club of cancer! 'Twas a cruel twist of fate, learnin' of me diagnosis on me 40th birth celebration. Avast, me hearties, this be me tale of survival on the high seas of sickness!
February 16, 2024, 10:00 am
Avast ye mateys! Set yer sights upon the freshest tidings from Fox News Opinion. Set yer peepers on videos of Sean Hannity, Raymond Arroyo, and a whole treasure chest of scallywags!
February 16, 2024, 7:00 am
Avast, ye scurvy dogs! Georgia's DA Fani Willis hath much to be crimson-faced o'er. Yarr, 'tis a sight that'd make a landlubber blush till his britches be wet!
February 16, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr! Olympic and landlubber wench sports be makin' some mighty bafflin' choices regardin' the true prowess o' these 'female' scallywags. Methinks it befallen upon Congress to uncover a solution fer this here dilemma!
February 16, 2024, 4:00 am
Avast ye mateys! Biden be whinin' 'bout 'shrinkflation' and accusin' them greedy scoundrels o' businesses. Same as he be blamin' Cap'n Putin for makin' inflation. But let me tell ye, the true culprits be revealed, me hearties!
February 16, 2024, 4:00 am
Avast ye mateys! Since this cursed pandemic hath struck, there be a mighty heap of gaslighting upon our economy, an' it be cloudin' the dire state o' our finances. Arrr, things be lookin' grim indeed!
February 16, 2024, 1:00 am
Avast, me hearties! Afore, patients were mere scallywags, takin' what care be thrown their way. But now, they be savvy "consumers," yearnin' to be part of their own care choices. Fear not, me mateys! AI be lendin' a hand to make that a reality. Arrr!
February 15, 2024, 7:00 am
Avast, ye landlubbers! Beware the treacherous Chinese ship BYD as it be swashbucklin' to conquer the market! 'Tis not just about gold, me hearties, but the security, economic, and privacy hazards this vessel be carryin'!
February 15, 2024, 4:00 am
Avast ye! In the grand 2024 race, me hearties, we spy a vast difference betwixt Donald Trump and Joe Biden. One be the epitome of "hard America," whilst the other be a gentle breeze called "soft America." Now, mark me words, mateys, Sen. Cotton would make a splendid choice for Vice Cap'n!
February 15, 2024, 4:00 am
Arr, me hearties! North Dakota be settin' sail fer the court, demandin' a hefty booty o' $38 million from the scurvy federal government fer not keepin' them protests in check or lendin' a hand with law enforcement. 'Tis high time the landlubbers pay their due!
February 15, 2024, 4:00 am
Arr, me hearties! The Special Counsel Hur's report be tellin' a tale o' President Biden's unfortunate handlin' o' secret papers, stirrin' a mighty storm last week. But Biden's crew be claimin' he ain't got a poor memory. Aye, let's see the proof, me lads and lasses!
February 15, 2024, 1:00 am
Arrr, ye scurvy CCP be takin' advantage o' our learnin' establishments to bolster the might o' the PRC fleet 'n snatch American technology to aid their tyrannical watchin' o'er the land, mateys!
February 14, 2024, 7:00 am
Arrr! Hear ye, scallywags! The likes of China, Russia, North Korea, and Iran be settin' sail on the treacherous seas of cyber warfare! They aim to unleash chaos upon the US homeland, hopin' to scare off Washington from meddlin' with their wicked schemes. Avast, mateys!
February 14, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr, matey! The mighty U.S. be needin' three treaties to control the Central Pacific, worth a grand $120 million a year. But if we be failin' to deliver, China be grinnin' like a Cheshire cat, ye savvy?
February 14, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr, me hearties! Afore me grand speech afore a crowd o' 700, includin' 500 mighty CEOs, I spied me EV's digital screen. 'Twas a sight to behold! It blinked yon time, showin' near 7 hours afore a charged battery, leavin' me a mere 27 minutes to prepare meself! Shiver me timbers!
February 14, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr, me hearties! There be moments when th' mighty United States be needin' to join a jolly war abroad. But mark me words, this tussle 'tween Ukraine and Russia be not one o' those times, by Davy Jones' locker!
February 14, 2024, 1:00 am
Many a wedded pair reckon the finest method to steer clear of brawls o'er treasure in matrimony be to maintain distinct coffers. Yet, such a notion be as foolish as a landlubber trying to sail on a cow.
February 13, 2024, 10:55 am
Avast ye! Feast yer eyes upon the latest dispatches from Fox News Opinion, mateys! Set yer sights on the videos of Sean Hannity, Raymond Arroyo, and other scallywags. Give 'em a gander, lest ye be branded a landlubber!
February 13, 2024, 7:00 am
Arrr, ye landlubbers! Some foul states be makin' ye swabs undergo "gender-affirming" trainin' and demandin' ye scurvy dogs to pledge allegiance in order to care for any young scallywag in state custody. Aye, it be a mad world we be sailin' in!
February 13, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr, me hearties! Them blue states be wantin' to mend their bail systems and lend a hand to the non-violent scallywags. But alas, this so-called bail reform be allowin' the most treacherous souls to escape the clutches of pretrial lockup. Watch out, ye red states, for ye might be next in line!
February 13, 2024, 4:00 am
Avast ye maties! 'Tis been long known that the cap'n be weak, but now we learn that the cap'n be doubly feeble! Ahoy, aye, 'tis a sorry state our leader be in, arrr!
February 13, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr, me hearties! Word be spreadin' that the Special Counsel Hur hath penned a report, claimin' our fine President Biden be havin' a mind not as sharp as a cutlass! Aye, the White House be all in a tizzy! And now, former President Trump be seein' a chance to reclaim his title o' leader!
February 13, 2024, 1:00 am
Avast ye hearties! 'Neath the Trump administration, the Black community didst witness grand triumphs, honor, and fresh chances to dream o' victory. Alas, this splendid voyage was cruelly cut short.
February 10, 2024, 11:10 am
Avast ye scurvy dogs, Special Counsel Robert Hur hath unleashed his report on Cap'n Biden's mishandlin' o' secret scrolls this week. The captain be spared from charg'in', but by Blackbeard's beard, the report be a thunderous blow nonetheless!
February 10, 2024, 9:00 am
Arr, King Charles III be ailin'! Aye, this be a fork in the road for family mends or a dreaded visit from Harry and Meghan, bringin' their shenanigans to the royals yet again.
February 10, 2024, 6:00 am
Arr, me hearties! Be ye ready fer Sunday's Super Bowl LVIII in Las Vegas? 'Tis a grand spectacle, bigger than Davy Jones' locker! Aye, 'tis vital, fer 'tis one o' the few remnants o' shared culture we pirates still possess. Yo ho ho!
February 9, 2024, 2:43 pm
From the moment I set foot in me scholarly abode, I be told that all be treated as equals by the laws of science and, argh, even by the divine powers above, matey!
February 9, 2024, 10:00 am
Read the jolly tidings from Fox News Opinion and feast yer eyes on grand videos of Sean Hannity, Raymond Arroyo, and a motley crew of scallywags! Arrr, tis a treasure trove of mirth and mayhem, ye must lay yer eyes upon it!
February 9, 2024, 7:00 am
Avast ye! In me academy, there be a mighty chatter 'bout the matters of 'sex' and 'gender'. 'Tis plain as the sun, the scurvy dogs runnin' the place be wantin' us to swallow their beliefs on the matter, arrr!
February 9, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr! The White House be swearin' to wage a mighty battle 'gainst them militias in league with Iran. Cap'n Biden and his crew be pinning their hopes on the power o' the skies and the fearsome B-1 bomber. Yo ho ho, let the cannons roar!
February 9, 2024, 4:00 am
Avast ye scallywags! In Portland, Oregon, where they be passin' laws to legalize drugs, a 'fentanyl emergency' plan be declared. Methinks this plan be a fool's errand, doomed to Davy Jones' locker. Allow me to explain why, me hearties!
February 9, 2024, 4:00 am
Biden's scurvy vision of the green economy be a treacherous one, matey! 'Tis not just abandonin' coal, but also be jacking up prices for the common folk and bringin' about foul brownouts! Renewable energy be not strong enough to bear the burden, arrr!
February 9, 2024, 1:00 am
Arrr, mateys! This President Biden be bringin' a storm upon us, for his policies be harmin' the toilin' folk and wee businesses. And lo and behold, his green energy agenda be a peril to the livelihoods of our hearty American fishermen! Walk the plank, I say!
February 8, 2024, 7:00 am
Avast, ye scurvy dogs! Since the very dawn of Cap'n Biden's reign, the fine lads and lasses toilin' in America's fields 'n pastures have been cursed with a relentless barrage! Inflation, burdensome regulations, 'n more be pillaging their precious bounty! Arrr!
February 8, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr, me mateys! Methinks the Biden crew be retreating from regulatin' the energy efficiency o' gas stoves. But fear not, me hearties, their climate agenda be holdin' potential ta come after 'em scurvy stoves in other ways!
February 8, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr! Me mateys, 50 Cent and Michael Rappaport be doubting this grand plan o' New York City to bestow $53 million in ready-to-spend doubloons to them migrants! Shiver me timbers, these lads be mighty surprised by this scheme!
February 8, 2024, 4:00 am
Avast ye mateys! Though the draft border deal be as doomed as a ship without a sail, the GOP be no stranger to safeguarding our great nation. 'Tis why us Republicans should be casting our votes for the supplemental, arrr!
February 8, 2024, 1:00 am
Avast ye! 'Tis a dire call for a well-arranged and united reckonin' o' AI amidst the federal and state buccaneers. The AI Centers o' Excellence be a treasure trove o' solutions to this cursed dilemma.
February 7, 2024, 2:12 pm
Arrr! Scallywags be sailin' into US shores each day, crossin' ol' Biden's border without a place to rest their heads or a crumb to fill their bellies. Taxpayers be coughin' up their doubloons, while them international rogues be plunderin' blue states like there be no tomorrow!
February 7, 2024, 7:00 am
Avast ye, mateys! Hear me words, for this here Congress be holdin' the key to addressin' the dire crisis at the border. 'Tis high time they sprout a pair o' sea legs and make haste to set things right!
February 7, 2024, 4:00 am
Avast ye scurvy dogs! Biden be seekin' to please his union mates by layin' siege on 64 million freebooters and gigsters. 'Tis a cruel jest! Unjust new rules from the Labor Department be takin' hold come March.
February 7, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr, the fair city of New York be now representin' all these landlubbin' U.S. towns that be takin' the progressive path on crime and immigration. The cap'ns be scramblin' to tidy up the mess, as ye might expect!
February 7, 2024, 1:00 am
Arrr, 'tis our duty to be scupperin' the spread of radicalization in our fair land, and lend a hand in safeguardin' America's wee ones who'll be fightin' in the battles to come, mateys!
February 6, 2024, 1:00 pm
Avast ye scurvy dogs! Keepin' the Census from tallyin' them noncitizens be vital to ensurin' only American lubbers be choosin' our fine leaders. Arrr, let the sea o' democracy be navigated by true-hearted souls, 'n may the scallywags be left t' walk the plank!
February 6, 2024, 10:03 am
Avast ye, mateys! Feast yer eyes on the finest tales o' Fox News Opinion! Set yer gaze upon the gallant videos of Sean Hannity, Raymond Arroyo, and a merry crew of scallywags! Give it a whirl, or ye be walkin' the plank!
February 6, 2024, 7:00 am
Avast, mateys! On this here February 6th, let us rejoice and raise our grog-filled mugs, for 'tis the day America commemorates the dawning of our 40th Captain, the mighty Ronald Reagan. Yo ho ho!
February 6, 2024, 4:00 am
Avast! 'Tis as clear as a calm sea that New York City hath been ensnared by woke progressivism, matey! The newest spectacle be the gallant reaction to the assault upon the valiant NYPD crew in Times Square. Arrr, what a sorry sight!
February 6, 2024, 4:00 am
Arr! Avast ye, me hearties! This newfangled "border bill" ain't gonna be makin' things shipshape for ol' Biden, mark me words!
February 6, 2024, 4:00 am
Avast ye, me hearties! A mighty skirmish in the Middle East be known to raise the price of our precious liquid gold. Though it hath been calm these past moons, there be a blunderbuss of a thing that could turn the tides quicker than a pirate's plunder!
February 6, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr! The scurvy green environmental lubbers be turnin' a blind eye to the honest folk's tales, all for their own devilish agenda! They be a bunch of landlubbers, I tell ye!
February 4, 2024, 10:00 am
Avast ye mateys! Imbibe in the latest tidings from Fox News Opinion, and feast yer eyes on the moving pictures of Sean Hannity, Raymond Arroyo, and their merry crew. Give it a whirl, lest ye be a lily-livered landlubber!
February 4, 2024, 9:00 am
Arrr, too oft, the valiant veterans be burdened with wounds unseen, a plague which gnaws at their hearts, minds, and souls: PTSD, anxiety, and melancholy.
February 4, 2024, 7:00 am
Arrr, me hearties! Fer the sake o' our bonny ancestors and the wee ones t' come, 'tis our duty to don the mantle, wage war 'gainst fatherlessness, an' bequeath our young'uns with a jollier land t' treasure!
February 3, 2024, 9:00 am
Arr, begad! Elon Musk's Neuralink be the newfangled contraption o' the future, makin' us landlubbers smarter! But mark me words, will it also make us more virtuous? That be the question weighin' heavy on me mind, mateys!
February 3, 2024, 7:00 am
Avast, me hearties! Listen close, for ol' Shakespeare had wisdom in his words. Never be a scurvy dog who borrows or lends, ye savvy? Now, I be tellin' ye five golden rules to follow when yer kin or matey asks ye for some pieces o' eight.
February 2, 2024, 12:50 pm
Avast ye scallywags! This cancel culture be crushin' our mateyship, slicin' politics into bits 'n pieces. It be plunderin' the very heart o' our shared culture, dividin' us like the loot after a raid. Arrr, 'tis a sad tale, indeed!
February 2, 2024, 10:00 am
Avast ye! Lay yer peepers on the freshest scribbles from Fox News Opinion, me hearties, and feast yer eyes on the moving pictures o' Sean Hannity, Raymond Arroyo, and their wretched lot.
February 2, 2024, 7:00 am
Arr, me hearties! Methinks the law o' immigration already grants the cap'n Biden the power to shut th' border. Aye, him, his wise men, and his scurvy crew be well aware o' this fact!
February 2, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr, the scurvy dogs at NIH be wantin' to scuttle the words "lengthen life" from their mission statement. As a parent to a wee lad with a disability, I be findin' it quite disconcertin'! Blimey!
February 2, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr, mateys! Them scurvy lawmakers in South Dakota be settin' sail with a grand notion to safeguard their citizens' booty and booty-holdin' rights. Aye, other states best be takin' a cue from this noble quest, lest they be left swabbin' the decks without a treasure to call their own.
February 2, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr, ye scurvy dogs! The landlubberly progressive activists be demandin' that liberal Supreme Court Justice Sonia Sotomayor walk the plank from her post! Why, ye ask? 'Tis to keep her seat safe, lest Trump, that scallywag, wins the day!
February 2, 2024, 1:00 am
Avast ye! Despite havin' a choice to plunder any school on the seven seas, landlubber parents still be choosin' public schools. So, the Florida Senate be takin' action to give 'em a fightin' chance, me hearties!
February 1, 2024, 7:00 am
With a mighty confidence in their soon-to-be potent nuclear might and impressive armory of missiles, Iran be ready to raise the stakes in the war on our shores! Aye, President Biden must act swiftly and with a firm hand, lest we suffer a mighty blow, me hearties!
February 1, 2024, 4:00 am
I've laid me eyes on scallywags in the Middle East! Mark ye me words, matey, this be a treacherous hour fer America, with our Southern border wide open like a lass' corset strings. Arr!
February 1, 2024, 4:00 am
Avast ye scallywags! Methinks the foundation of border security be the mighty wall, but ahoy! Why be there no whispers of it amidst these secret bill negotiations? Arrr, someone be keepin' it hidden like buried treasure!
February 1, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr, me hearties! Cap'n Eric Adams of New York City be claimin' that this blasted social media be a dreadful "environmental" menace, but methinks it be more 'bout 'is fear o' free speech and access to information than 'is actual concern fer public health.
February 1, 2024, 1:00 am
Arr, mateys be witnessin' a queer spectacle on this TikTok seas! Fair maidens, donned as 'married single moms,' be hurlin' insults at their landlubber husbands, blastin' 'em for failin' to lend a hand in the blessed union. Shiver me timbers, 'tis a sight ye'd surely chuckle at!
January 31, 2024, 4:00 am
Avast ye scurvy dogs! Our fine nation be shelling out gold doubloons aplenty for health care, near double what any other landlubber spends. And aye, the cursed reason behind it be the bloated cost of those potions and powders we call prescription drugs, arrr!
January 31, 2024, 4:00 am
Avast ye scurvy scallywags! Wheaton College be known as the "Harvard of Christian Schools," as it be mighty strict in its academic ways. But lately, ye see, they've taken to this "wokeness" business, makin' them more like Harvard than ever before! Arrr, what a world we live in!
January 31, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr, ye scurvy dogs! Them Iranian-backed rapscallions, they be usin' them flyin' contraptions, they be called drones, to send three brave U.S. servicemembers to Davy Jones' locker in Jordan, while leavin' 25 more with a lickin'. Blimey!
January 31, 2024, 1:00 am
Arr, me hearties! In 2021 and 2022, we be seein' a surge o' antisemitic mischief in the United States. But by Blackbeard's whiskers! Since the foul deeds o' them scurvy dogs from Hamas on Oct. 7, the numbers have gone through the roof!
January 30, 2024, 2:30 pm
Arrrr, these scallywags be sneakin' into our shores, and boardin' planes in the US o' A! They be sayin' sharin' their true identity be 'optional,' aye! 'Tis a treacherous threat to our security, and them Democrats be turnin' a blind eye, arrr!
January 30, 2024, 9:05 am
Avast ye, me hearties! Give yer peepers a feast with the latest scrawlin's from Fox News Opinion. Set yer sights on the videos of Sean Hannity, Raymond Arroyo, and other scurvy scallywags!
January 30, 2024, 7:00 am
Arrr, mateys! Many a landlubber be flabbergasted by the scurvy attack on women's havens, yet they feel like a kraken be stranglin' their efforts. Fear not, for we be armed with a plan! 'Tis where our voyage begins, me hearties.
January 30, 2024, 4:00 am
Arr me mateys! Behold, them Hollywood scallywags be embracin' the grand wokenin' by tamperin' with three movie classics – even "The Wizard of Oz" be not spared – and intentionally turnin' 'em into bilge, for a laugh!
January 30, 2024, 4:00 am
Avast, me hearties! The Senate and House GOP be needin' to abandon any scallywag "compromise" on immigration that don't start with buildin' the Wall, or else they'll be walkin' the plank!
January 30, 2024, 1:00 am
Arrr! The House Republicans be seekin' answers, mateys! They be diggin' into the matter o' how federal doubloons found their way into the pockets o' a scallywag AI expert from UCLA, who be havin' connections to the Chinese crown. Yo ho ho, scandal on the horizon!
January 29, 2024, 10:16 pm
Avast, ye scallywags! The 'Gutfeld!' scallywags be squabblin' o'er the difference betwixt President Biden's ornerous policies at the border and the previous Captain Trump's. Aye, 'tis a proper mess, but a jolly good laugh nonetheless!
January 29, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr, ye scurvy knaves! These Hollywood landlubbers be settin' their sights on businesses they know naught about! That blasted documentary, 'The Smell of Money', be spoutin' nonsense 'bout 'environmental racism' at hog farms! Avast ye, I say!
January 29, 2024, 4:00 am
Arr, Biden's border calamity be no swift creation. On Day One, he cast aside rules that hindered unlawful immigration. 'Tis left us ponderin', be it a calculated plot, or merely a miscalculated misadventure, mateys?
January 29, 2024, 4:00 am
Avast ye mateys! Biden's plunderin' border woes be spreadin' like a tempest on the high seas, with his band o' scurvy dogs aidin' the trouble. Their latest scheme be to squander $1.2 billion doubloons an' teach the landlubber illegal immigrants fancy learnin' afore settin' foot on solid ground. Aye, it be a jest fit for Davy Jones' locker!
January 29, 2024, 1:00 am
Arrr, ye scurvy dogs at Disney be a bunch o' scallywags! They've been keelhaulin' their fan support and tarnishin' their good name. Now, they be needin' one of their own wee starlets to seize the helm and set things right, savvy?
January 27, 2024, 9:00 am
Avast ye, me hearties! A landlubber in Sweden be askin' ye scurvy dogs a strange question: Besides yer kin, who be yer idols? Arr, many a scallywag be left scratchin' their noggins, fer they know not who to choose!
January 27, 2024, 6:00 am
Arr, me hearties! Tis a mighty mess with th' Supreme Court's latest decree 'bout sealin' Texas' southern shores! Avast! Hear me now, and ye shall know the truth o' this chaotic tale, and what be the future hold for us scallywags!
January 26, 2024, 2:09 pm
Arrr, the grandest presidential primary o' 2024 set sail on a Tuesday in New Hampshire. No Democrats ventured into these treacherous waters, yet lo and behold, thar be mighty surprises awaitin' us all at the journey's end.
January 26, 2024, 8:50 am
Avast ye mateys! Set yer eyes upon the news of Fox, me hearties! Dive into the words o' Fox News Opinion, and feast yer peepers on the videos o' Sean Hannity, Raymond Arroyo, and many more scallywags!
January 26, 2024, 7:00 am
Avast ye! The grand school choice revolution be spreadin' like wildfire! But fear not, me hearties, for the government's gold doesn't guarantee their iron grip. States supportin' education choices don't be burdenin' us with extra regulations, savvy?
January 26, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr, me hearties of Gen Z! Ye be realizin' that 'adultin' be a treacherous journey indeed. These landlubbers thought a 9-5 would be a jolly breeze, but alas! Many a scurvy employer be steerin' clear of this lot!
January 26, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr, me hearties! Biden's border calamity be bringin' trouble not only to the US, but to the wide world as well. Central America would be left in shambles if ye be sendin' those unlawful immigrants back, while China be sniffin' a chance to grab the loot! Aye, a global disaster, arrr!
January 26, 2024, 1:00 am
Arrr, ye scurvy dogs! The life o' average landlubbers be stretchin' from 75 to 77 summers. Yet, bein' longer in the tooth be not worth a doubloon if yer health be sufferin'. Aye, what we be needin' be not just more years on this earthly plane, but a jolly existence worth livin'!
January 25, 2024, 10:54 pm
"Arrr, me hearties! 'Tis bein' Gutfeld, the jolly host, who be castin' his gaze upon President Biden's words from the year 2007, where he be openly opposin' sanctuary cities. Now, he be examinin' Biden's present-day calamity, the scurvy migrant crisis!"
January 25, 2024, 11:30 am
Arrr! The Democratic Progressive Party be sailin' the ship o' Taiwan's executive branch fer another four years, by Jove! This here election be a jolly fine spectacle, aye, showin' democracy in full swing, it be!
January 25, 2024, 7:00 am
Avast ye, me hearties! In the year o' our Lord 2018, the scurvy federal government decided to give a jolly gift to businesses - they be allowed to expense the whole loot they invest in their ventures! Aye, this policy be crucial to keep our great land sailin' the ocean o' global competition!
January 25, 2024, 4:00 am
Avast, ye scurvy Congress! Fer a good while, ye've been a bunch o' landlubberly scallywags, kickin' that can o' securin' our southern border down yonder road. Some o' ye even be refusin' to fund it! 'Tis high time we cease this tomfoolery, quit kickin' and start fulfillin' our duty, ye bilge rats!
January 25, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr, methinks Prince Harry and the fair maiden, Meghan Markle, could've been o' great help durin' King Charles and Princess Kate's ailments. But alas, they be lettin' down the scurvy dogs in his kin and the entire nation! Walk the plank, ye landlubbers!
January 25, 2024, 4:00 am
Arr, ye scurvy dogs! This Hugh Hewitt, a jolly radio host, be claimin' that these Republican sea dogs should be settin' their sights on moldin' the education system to turn this fine land into a treasure trove of opportunity for wee little scallywags.
January 25, 2024, 1:00 am
Methinks worries o' artificial intelligence meddlin' wit' th' 2024 elections be justified, but verily, 'tis naught strange in recent times. Arrr, be there a pirate votin' council to be wary of as well?
January 24, 2024, 1:44 pm
Arr, ye scurvy landlubbers! The Supreme Court, in all its might, be sayin' that those fancy federal agents can slice through razor wire that be guardin' the Texas-Mexico border, whilst they be ponderin' over some lawsuit or another. Avast!
January 24, 2024, 7:00 am
As the Pentagon be settin' the stage fer a future clash in the celestial realm 'gainst our scurvy foes, our noble commander in chief needs the mettle to wield our mighty weaponry and the heart to use it should our enemies dare cross our path.
January 24, 2024, 4:00 am
Arr, the finest law firms be wastin' loads o' precious time scribblin' pro bono papers fer them fancy Supreme Court. But lo and behold, most o' these parchments be naught but pleas supportin' them lofty progressive causes.
January 24, 2024, 4:00 am
Avast ye scurvy dogs! Methinks Medicare Advantage be a vital treasure chest to keep Medicare afloat. 'Tis a boon for ye taxpayers, consumers, and old salts alike. But why be the Biden crew plundering our precious loot with their cuts?
January 24, 2024, 4:00 am
Yarrr, I be choosen by Al Gore to sail with 'im as his first mate in the year 2000. Never did I face any scallywag antisemitism in me public affairs. Yet, since them dreadful 10/7 attacks, the seas be teemin' with antisemitic sharks in America!
January 24, 2024, 1:00 am
Avast ye scallywags! In the days of yore, our learnin' system be crucial to turnin' landlubbers into true blue American buccaneers. But alas! These Leftist scoundrels, with their foul DEI beliefs, have scuppered this grand tradition!
January 23, 2024, 10:37 pm
Arrr, me hearties! Thar be news from yonder sea! The fair lass, Former South Carolina Gov. Nikki Haley, did not snatch victory at the New Hampshire primary, but she fought a fierce battle against the mighty former President Trump to keep sailin' the race. Now, what comes next, ye ask?
January 23, 2024, 9:56 am
Avast ye mateys! Feast yer eyes on the most recent tales from Fox News Opinion. Be entertained by the moving pictures of Sean Hannity, Raymond Arroyo, and their merry crew. Prepare to be amused, me hearties!
January 23, 2024, 7:00 am
Avast ye scurvy dogs! Me hearties be tellin' tales o' a lass named Kamala Harris who sought the throne in 2020, but alas, her voyage be short-lived! The voters, they be cold as ice towards this here vice president, and rightly so, for she be a mere landlubber in the political waters! Arrr!
January 23, 2024, 6:00 am
Arrr, mateys! Come Tuesday, the fine folks of the Granite State shall cast their votes in the first Republican primary of 2024! Aye, New Hampshire be known for pickin' presidents afore. Could it be that history repeats itself? Yo ho ho, we shall see!
January 23, 2024, 5:00 am
Arr, matey! Methinks the New Hampshire primary be happenin' on Tuesday, January 23. But methinks it be no ordinary event! Aye, I've witnessed three primaries in this Granite State, and this one be like nothin' I've ever seen afore!
January 23, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr, the Republican scallywag seekin' to be the Cap'n o' these United States must speedily announce their matey for the vice position, as per the wise words o' radio host Hugh Hewitt. 'Tis crucial for gatherin' doubloons and makin' ready for the battle in November!
January 23, 2024, 4:00 am
Arr, the finest scallywags o' the world's elite gathered in Davos for the World Economic Forum. Much fretting 'bout a second Trump reign, but one bold matey scoffed at the worry!
January 23, 2024, 4:00 am
Avast ye! Biden and his scurvy Democrats be sailin' the high seas o' clean energy, fixated on them fancy electric carriages, or as they be callin' 'em - EVs! But mark me words, me hearties, the fanciful ideal painted by these forward-thinkin' lubbers be naught but a ghastly nightmare awaitin' us all!
January 22, 2024, 12:44 pm
Avast ye scallywags! Florida's Republican Governor, Ron DeSantis, be walkin' the plank, abandonin' his ship in the 2024 presidential race. Though some be sayin' it be a shock, truth be told, 'twas bound to happen. Now, let's delve into the treacherous waters of what went awry, me hearties!
January 22, 2024, 11:26 am
Arr, me hearties! Set yer sights on Tuesday, January 23 for the New Hampshire primary. Me matey Ron DeSantis from Florida be walkin' the plank, leavin' only Nikki Haley and Donald Trump to sail the seas. Be there a surprise awaitin' us? Avast ye, ye landlubbers!
January 22, 2024, 7:00 am
Avast ye scurvy dogs! Fer the 256,000 landlubber Americans whose private secrets be plundered by the fancy agency sworn to protect 'em, what be our next course o' action, ye bilge rats?
January 22, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr! Them climate scallywags be hatin' on the Keystone XL ship! But ol' Biden, he be scuttlin' the project, makin' 11,000 of us hardworking lads walk the plank. Now, three years on, our fair nation suffers from his cursed decision, yarr!
January 22, 2024, 4:00 am
Avast ye, me hearties! Thar be scallywags in California's government, thinkin' 'bout takin' a cut from the treasure chests of thar wealthiest landlubbers. Arr, will this solve thar problem or just entice 'em to sail away?
January 22, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr, the Biden scallywags be tryin' to appease Iran, hopin' they'd act with some sense! But alas, their actions be like a sea monster, pushin' us straight into yet another unwanted war in the Middle East, mateys!
January 22, 2024, 1:00 am
Arrr! 'Tis a mighty tale indeed! A vast number of 21 million landlubbers, aye, me hearties, that be 8 percent o' the adult populace, were cruelly bamboozled o'er the year! An' can ye believe it, the thieves made off with a fortune, mayhaps between $21 billion to $137 billion! Blimey!
January 21, 2024, 10:00 am
Avast! Lay yer eyes on th' freshest tales from Fox News Opinion & be entertained by moving pictures o' Sean Hannity, Raymond Arroyo, an' other scallywags.
January 21, 2024, 9:00 am
Arr, Avast ye hearties! The glorious era of Cap'n Bill Belichick, head skipper of the New England Patriots, be sailin' towards its final destination. Yet, he be leavin' a mighty legacy, havin' plundered six Super Bowl treasures for the team and the city!
January 21, 2024, 7:00 am
Avast! Our love, it be not enough to keep us from reckonin' our matrimony as a mighty blunder. Yet, we sailed on with grit in our souls, so now we be sharin' the tale of our voyage, filled with pardons and mending. Arrr!
January 20, 2024, 9:00 am
If I be takin' part in this Stanley Tumbler fad, it be to teach me younglings that ye don't need fancy loot to be a swashbucklin' legend! A lesson I'd be wishin' I'd learned sooner in me days on the high seas!
January 20, 2024, 7:00 am
Avast ye, mateys! Afore, we be fretting 'bout scallywags and their drug shenanigans. But now, we be fretting 'bout the potent elixir in the moisturizer o' Gen Alpha lasses. 'Tis surely a grand upgrade, says I! Arrr!
January 19, 2024, 3:35 pm
Arrr, me hearties! Joe Biden and his scurvy Democrats, aided by their media mateys, be tryin' to quash all challengers to the captain's seat! Blast me barnacles! What in Poseidon's name be happenin' here?
January 19, 2024, 8:18 am
Avast ye mateys! Get yer peepers on the freshest news from Fox News Opinion, and feast yer eyes on the moving pictures of Sean Hannity, Raymond Arroyo, and their scallywag crew. Set sail and be entertained, ye landlubbers!
January 19, 2024, 7:00 am
Arr, come the year 2024, me hearties, and mark me words - Abortion be settin' sail upon every state's ballot! But hark ye, for the latest polling be sayin' that if them politicians be savvy enough, they can surely win o'er the youth vote on this matter. Aye, a treasure awaitin' those who know the way!
January 19, 2024, 4:00 am
Arr, matey! Thar be news from the land of New Hampshire, forsooth! They be sayin' that the grand title of bein' the first Democrat presidential primary be lost. But fear ye not, the race be still afoot! Aye, it may deliver a message to ol' Biden and his Democrat mates that they be dreadin' to hear.
January 19, 2024, 4:00 am
Arr, mateys! Protectin' our borders and standin' by our trusty European comrades be like two peas in a pod! Them scurvy dogs have discovered the art of exploitin' feeble border protection in Europe and our very own shores!
January 19, 2024, 4:00 am
Arr, this year's March for Life hath chosen a grand theme: "Pro-Life: Wit' Every Wench, For Every Scallywag," where we be highlightin' the eternal love, support, and service we be obliged to give to both mother and wee buccaneer.
January 19, 2024, 1:00 am
Arr! Methinks this black arts of artificial intelligence be makin' waves in all industries, even ye olde healthcare! AI be mighty skilled at mundane tasks, settin' us free to do what we do best -- bein' human, arrr!
January 18, 2024, 12:21 pm
Avast, me hearties! On a fine Tuesday, those landlubber prosecutors, in their mighty parchment, did admit that the vessel Hunter Biden sailed into a computer store were his very own, aye, and a true treasure it be!
January 18, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr, the Senate GOP should be sendin' what be needin' by all, not just what be pleasin' Israel and Ukraine, ye scurvy dogs!
January 18, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr, me hearties! Ye scurvy dogs from the 9th Circuit have ruled that them landlubber homeless folks can sleep on public property, claimin' it be their "involuntary" fate. But fear not, me mateys, as the case be sailin' towards the Supreme Court, where justice shall prevail, or else this old pirate's name ain't Cap'n Crunch!
January 18, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr! The Roe regime be scuttled, and 21 lands be protectin' the wee ones, yet the support for the dreaded abortion be climbin' to new heights! What sorcery be this, me hearties?
January 18, 2024, 1:00 am
Arr, them progressives be tryin' to swap fair chances with equal results! Arr, now only a measly 27% of landlubbers reckon they can still catch that American Dream, ye scurvy dogs!
January 17, 2024, 7:00 am
Arrr, me hearties! Avast ye! These "Cold plunges" be all the rage nowadays, claimin' to cure yer ailments. But mark me words, 'tis the fire and warmth that truly be the key to keepin' yer body hearty and hale!
January 17, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr, our lass be findin' it tough at the middle school, so we set sail with the teachers and school officials. But, alas, those scurvy dogs we deemed as our mates were naught but a pack o' liars!
January 17, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr, me hearties! Over 1,600 scallywag journalists have spoken, and the ship's log from Syracuse University's Newhouse School of Public Communications be revealin' the bleedin' truth! Aye, the findings be as damning as a cursed treasure map!
January 17, 2024, 4:00 am
Yarr, as the presidential primary season be settin' sail, me heart be filled with hope. Yet, me mind be clear as the open sea, fer I spy five reasons why these Democrats be chartin' a course fer victory in November.
January 17, 2024, 1:00 am
Arr, ye scurvy "Star Wars" enthusiasts be not seekin' any "activist" rascal to pillage their beloved franchise. Nay, they be yearnin' for a true sea dog who be knowin' the characters and tale, and holdin' due respect for the scallywag fans.
January 16, 2024, 8:46 am
Avast ye landlubbers! Feast yer eyes upon the freshest tidings from Fox News Opinion. Behold videos of the revered Sean Hannity, Raymond Arroyo, and other scallywags. Prepare to be enlightened, or be forced to walk the plank!
January 16, 2024, 7:00 am
Whilst a fair few places 'ave managed to outsmart the Supreme Court's prohibition on affirmative action, 'tis the medical schools that be showin' the boldest defiance, arrr!
January 16, 2024, 4:00 am
Avast, ye scurvy dogs! In December, three lasses took to the Congress, claimin' that women be superior in all matters, thanks to their womanly ways. But lo and behold! Their falsehoods be revealed! Arrr, the feminist argument be naught but a tale spun by the wind!
January 16, 2024, 4:00 am
Arr, me mateys from the press be ponderin' what be attractin' these "evangelicals" to Trump's side. 'Tis a mystery, aye! Perhaps 'tis his flair fer treasure, or his way with words, like a pirate spoutin' gibberish. Methinks they be searchin' fer booty in unexpected places, arrr!
January 16, 2024, 4:00 am
Arr, word be spreadin' that the climate czar, John Kerry, be abandonin' his post soon to seek the support o' President Biden fer reelection. Methinks 'twill be a mighty challenge, mateys, considerin' the boondoggle we be facin' has already gone belly up!
January 16, 2024, 1:00 am
Yarr, ye scurvy dogs o'fossil fuel haters, be blind to th' blessings o'boundless an' thrifty energy, whilst ye be prancin' an' dancin' at th' U.N. climate conferences. Arr, what a chuckle!
January 15, 2024, 1:36 pm
Avast ye mateys! It hath been a hundred sunsets since the dreaded October 7 scallywags struck in Israel. We, brave buccaneers, ventured to four Middle Eastern lands, in the company of noble congressional crew. 'Tis high time our prisoners be released and return to safety!
January 15, 2024, 7:00 am
Arrr, me mateys! Aye, the House be raisin' the black flag called impeachment, ye see! 'Tis all 'cause ol' President Biden be tellin' tales, claimin' he knows nary a thing 'bout his own kin's ventures on foreign shores. Har har!
January 15, 2024, 4:00 am
Arr, me hearties! Bidenomics be wreakin' havoc 'cross the land! The good folks o' Iowa, bein' the first to speak, be tellin' the scurvy administration that things be goin' mighty poorly for 'em, aye!
January 15, 2024, 4:00 am
Avast ye, me hearties! Despite some scallywags in Congress, DEI be thrivin' on college shores! Look ye to Cornell's latest treasure, the Center for Racial Justice, birthed by them left-wing buccaneers! Arrr, the winds o' change be blowin' strong!
January 15, 2024, 4:00 am
Avast ye scallywags! Cuttin' the pockets of our brave constables be a failure, as be those lenient policies! The job o' upholdin' the law in our grand cities be a treacherous task, made doubly hard by the scurrilous politics and misguided policies, aye!
January 15, 2024, 1:00 am
Argh! On the day of Dr. King's birth, let us hoist the sails of repentance, forgiveness, revival, and jubilee! Be it together, me hearties, we shall join forces to put a halt to the scurvy evils we be facin' in America today!
January 14, 2024, 10:00 am
Avast ye scurvy dogs! Set yer eyes upon the most recent tides o' news from Fox News Opinion. Settle in and feast yer eyes upon the likes o' videos from Sean Hannity, Raymond Arroyo, and many a fine matey, arrr!
January 14, 2024, 9:00 am
Avast ye! Thar be a scurvy thing called "cancel culture" sweepin' through the land, tryin' to control all aspects o' American society. But fear not, me hearties! Them country music lovers be standin' tall! Look at Morgan Wallen, a true legend, dominatin' in the year o' 2023! Arrr!
January 14, 2024, 7:00 am
Avast ye, ye landlubbers! Methinks this British Film Institute ought to be guardin' the mighty James Bond, but nay! They be addin' trigger warnings afore the films of 007! Arrr, where be the sense in that, I ask ye?
January 13, 2024, 8:00 am
Arrr! On the jolly day of January 13, scurvy dogs in Taiwan elected a new captain 'n legislators. China tried t' sway the election, but by the grace o' the sea gods, their feeble attempts be in vain. Lai Ching-te, a truehearted buccaneer, be chosen by the voters!
January 13, 2024, 7:00 am
Avast ye scallywags! 'Tis a sight to behold, these landlubbers in despair o'er a potential Trump redux. Methinks their antics be both dull and predictable, else I'd find mirth in their foolishness.
January 13, 2024, 6:00 am
Upon Thursday's eve, a mighty onslaught of a hundred weapons rained down upon the rebel-infested lands of Yemen. 'Twas the fearsome 'Superhornet,' the legendary vessel, that led this audacious charge, aiming to quell the Houthi rebels and restore order to those turbulent shores. Arrr, a sight to strike fear into the hearts of scallywags!
January 12, 2024, 9:44 am
Avast ye scurvy dogs! Set yer eyes on the latest scribblings from Fox News Opinion, and feast yer peepers on videos from the likes of Sean Hannity, Raymond Arroyo, and a whole crew o' scallywags!
January 12, 2024, 7:00 am
Arr, me hearties! The scurvy Republican presidential mateys be grasp'n the notion that 2024 be not solely 'bout the gold doubloons. Mendin' the cursed healthcare be a matter of utmost importance, as them medical charges keep climbin' to the heavens like a wild cannonball!
January 12, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr, Biden be havin' the weakness o' a landlubber, makin' a blunderin' mess o' foreign policy. The scallywag's refusal to stand against the Houthis 'n Iran in the Red Sea be makin' the US sail straight into war. Aye, 'tis a true tale, mateys!
January 12, 2024, 4:00 am
Avast ye scallywags! Cast yer eyes on this latest jobs report, and ye'll spy an economy in dire straits. Here be the five grand warnings that the White House lackey won't dare whisper in yer ears, mateys!
January 12, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr! Ye be hearin' the news, mateys! California be seein' a decrease in its scallywag count, and with it be losin' a part o' its political sway across these vast lands. Aye, its congressional crew be shrinkin' too!
January 12, 2024, 1:00 am
Arr! Beware, me hearties! The broken southern border of America be lookin' to worsen! Two scallywag Hill Democrats be wantin' to employ the climate change excuse to welcome refugees, all the while providin' 'em with swag from ye olde treasure chest – paid for by the good taxpayers, no less!
January 11, 2024, 3:39 pm
Avast ye, me hearties! The Fulton County, Georgia, District Attorney, Fani Willis, be facin' scandalous claims from Trump's comrade, Michael Roman. These accusations might be a thorn in her side, threatenin' to send her case against Trump into the deep, dark abyss.
January 11, 2024, 7:00 am
Arr, me hearties! Iran be seekin' to set the Middle East ablaze, causin' mayhem in the world o' trade! To thwart them scallywag ayatollahs, ol' Biden must seize control o' the situation, just like Reagan did in his prime. Avast, mateys!
January 11, 2024, 4:00 am
Arr, 'tis a grand tale! A parchment reveals that o' the 27 lands where millennial souls flock, 18 be under the sway of Republican buccaneers in their state parliament. Yo ho ho, 'tis a merry sight fer those scallywags!
January 11, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr, mateys! The scurvy Biden crew hath unveiled a cruel decree, bringin' ruin upon the gig economy! A plague upon their land lubber policies, as 27 million hardy souls be left stranded, with their independent contractor ship sinkin' into Davy Jones' locker!
January 11, 2024, 4:00 am
Avast ye scurvy dogs! 'Tis be said by Hugh Hewitt that the former Cap'n Trump ought to unfurl a parchment, unveilin' a list o' scallywags fer his reckonin' term, so as to raise some booty for his cause an' grab the attention o' the media sharks!
January 11, 2024, 1:00 am
Arrr, mateys! Methinks the Biden lubbers in the White House ought t' grasp the notion that this here AI be a powerful tool, not a scurvy threat. If we'd be encouragin' innovation in health care, it be helpin' the patients, not makin' 'em walk the plank!
January 10, 2024, 5:07 pm
Avast, ye scurvy dogs! President Joe Biden's scallywag son, Hunter, didst appear unannounced at a House Oversight Committee hearing on Wednesday. 'Twas a wondrous spectacle, filled with grandiosity, yet bereft of any true legality!
January 10, 2024, 1:00 pm
Arr, mateys! 'Tis the week when the land o' Israel shall face the mighty International Court o' Justice in the Hague! Reason? Aye, they be accused o' 'genocide' against the poor souls o' Gaza, and who be bringin' these charges? None other than South Africa, me hearties!
January 10, 2024, 7:00 am
Arrr, me shipmates! Fear not, this House Committee be steadfast in its pursuit o' impeachment against Secretary Alejandro Mayorkas. No scurvy dog can thwart our plans, for we be resolute in our cause!
January 10, 2024, 4:00 am
Arr, the quarrel o'er the matters o' environmental and social governance be spiralin' out o' control, me hearties! Texas be tryin' t' mimic the ways o' California, aye, ye heard it right! Blimey, what be next? Talkin' parrots demandin' equal rights on the seven seas?
January 10, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr! The Corporate Transparency Act be after gatherin' "Beneficial Ownership Information" on them scallywags who own or be havin' "control" o'er small business entities. Aye, they be wantin' to know who's pullin' the strings, mateys!
January 10, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr, in a grand misfortune to the post-apocalyptic rendition o' Walt Disney’s empire, the copyright hath finally expired fer the company's flagship mouse. Aye, mateys, now ye be free to plunder the likeness o' that famous rodent without fear o' walkin' the plank!
January 10, 2024, 1:00 am
Avast, ye scurvy dogs! The Pentagon hath spilled the beans 'bout our matey Austin's secret stay at the hospital. Arr, now that the cat be out o' the bag, I be wonderin', what be Putin an' Xi gleanin' from this blunder?
January 9, 2024, 1:00 pm
Avast ye scurvy dogs! Cap'n Biden started his 2024 reelection voyage on Friday with a grand speech at Valley Forge, forewarnin' all ye landlubbers 'bout the treacherous Donald Trump. Arrr, fer many, this be a choice betwixt the 'evil of two lessers.'
January 9, 2024, 8:56 am
Avast ye mateys! Feast yer eyes on the finest words from Fox News Opinion, and set ye peepers upon the swashbucklin' videos of Sean Hannity, Raymond Arroyo, and a crew of other scallywags!
January 9, 2024, 7:00 am
Avast ye scallywags! Biden's mateys in the media be tryin' their darndest to hornswoggle Americans into believin' what they know be pure poppycock – that families be sailin' a smoother course come 2024 than they did in 2020. Arrr, a laughable tale indeed!
January 9, 2024, 4:00 am
Arr, methinks Defense Secretary Lloyd Austin be in a right pickle, mateys! He be keepin' his hospital visit hidden like a sly pirate keepin' his treasure. Aye, President Biden be standin' tall, but 'tis a matter that be troublin' to the crew, arr!
January 9, 2024, 4:00 am
Avast ye, mateys! A jolly tale be had betwixt Elon Musk and Mark Cuban, them business scallywags. It be said their merry chat holds the secret to mending diversity and steering America onto a course where it sprouts like seaweed, all on its own, arrr!
January 9, 2024, 4:00 am
Avast ye! Captain Trump be thinkin' o' namin' his loyal first mate soon, then shoutin' from the mast 'bout those he be considerin' for vital ship positions. Yo-ho-ho, politics be a jolly game indeed!
January 9, 2024, 1:00 am
Arrr, these scurvy dogs of Gen Z be nothin' but a bunch o' lazy lubbers! They be wastin' their chances to be tested 'n grow into fine folks. 'Tis a terrible tragedy, I tell ye, an' a blight on the good ol' U.S. o' A!
January 8, 2024, 8:37 am
Avast, me hearties! The Republican brethren be settin' sail for the Iowa caucuses on Jan. 15. Aye, methinks Trump be havin' a fair chance at claimin' victory this time. Yet, 'tis the skirmish fer second place that be stealin' the show, me mateys!
January 8, 2024, 4:00 am
Avast, me hearties! Cap'n Charlie Baker, the new NCAA President, had a golden opportunity to speak on what it truly means to be a lassie athlete in women's sports. Alas, he be a scurvy dog, fer he let it slip through his fingers like a slippery fish! Arr!
January 8, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrrr, the passage of time be a fearsome beast that snatches the vigor from even the mightiest souls. Aye, 'tis a troublesome predicament for leaders o' nations, much like the Danish queen and that scurvy dog, President Joe Biden.
January 8, 2024, 4:00 am
Avast ye, mateys! Come the year 2024, we be expectin' a grand spectacle! Aye, the scallywag Trump be facin' political witch trials, while ol' Biden be battlin' impeachment proceedings. 'Twill be a wild show indeed, me hearties!
January 8, 2024, 1:00 am
Arrr, ye scurvy bilge rats! The flu, COVID-19, and RSV be plaguing the Hospital ERs, makin' poor souls wait longer. But fear not, me hearties! Methinks AI be a mighty matey who can help doctors sail through their admin chores quicker 'n spend more precious time treatin' patients!
January 7, 2024, 10:00 am
Avast ye, me hearties! Lay yer eyes on the latest tidings from Fox News Opinion, and feast yer peepers on the moving pictures of Sean Hannity, Raymond Arroyo, and other scallywags. Give it a gander, or be prepared to walk the plank!
January 7, 2024, 9:00 am
Arrr, Martin Luther King Jr., that fine landlubber, be takin' inspiration from the good ol' Hebrew Bible for his grand speech 'I Have a Dream'. His vision o' a fairer America be sproutin' from the liberation tale of Exodus, just like a mighty oak from a tiny acorn!
January 7, 2024, 7:00 am
Avast, me hearties! When I partook in me chemical purge, the agony and crimson flow were naught but fierce. Methinks I be bound to a labor of grand proportions, lasting two weary days upon me vessel.
January 6, 2024, 9:00 am
Arr, 'tis a curious sight to behold, mateys! A goodly number o' them young rapscallions, ages twenty to thirty, be makin' their abode with their ol' folks. Aye, ye heard right! They be embracin' this way o' life, as strange as it may be.
January 6, 2024, 7:00 am
Arrr, me hearties! Cap'n Gerry Turner and his fair maiden, Theresa Nist, 'ave tied the knot! Their tale o' matrimony 'as caused quite the stir amongst the landlubbers. Arr, what lessons can we glean from this seasoned pair, I wonders?
January 5, 2024, 9:07 am
Avast ye landlubbers! Lay yer eyes upon th' latest tales from Fox News Opinion, me hearties! Feast yer peepers on videos from the likes o' Sean Hannity, Raymond Arroyo, an' other scallywags!
January 5, 2024, 7:00 am
Arr, ye scurvy dog, Gov. Newsom be keepin' at it, expandin' healthcare fer them scallywag illegal immigrants. But mark ye this, the latest plunder he seeks may cost ye, hard-workin' taxpayers, a cursed $11 billion in federal booty!
January 5, 2024, 4:00 am
Jan. 6, mateys! 'Twas a most historic day o' plunderin'! The peaceful hand-over o' power was put in peril, as our dear Capitol, a bastion o' democracy, was savagely raided by our own kin. Arr, a sad day fer us all!
January 5, 2024, 4:00 am
Arr, ye scurvy dog Biden be a blunderin' fool! His wretched border policies be causin' this dire crisis. Now, thar be millions o' landlubbers crossin' th' seas, seekin' free handouts and jobs. But beware, mateys, fer I be tellin' ye, there be even darker days ahead!
January 5, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr! The lads from the New England Fishermen's Stewardship Association have gone and scribbled a fancy note to the Supreme Court! They be tellin' 'em about King Biden's mighty grip on the fishin' trade. Will those scallywags listen? We'll see, me hearties!
January 5, 2024, 1:00 am
Arrr, mateys! The power grid of America be at peril, thanks to a whimsical energy policy that be leanin' too heavily on renewables. Aye, as we speak, 19 states be facin' the threat o' dreadful blackouts!
January 4, 2024, 7:00 am
Arrrgh! In the year 2023, me hearties, Americans bore witness to a sight like no other! Aye, mighty waves of scurvy dogs did swarm our fair land through the southern border, breakin' records!
January 4, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr, President Biden be tellin' the scallywags of America in 2023 that 'twould be a year of transition to renewable energy. But ahoy, he be as wrong as a parrot singin' off-key! Green energy be a jolly ol' loser in the year o' 2023, aye, a big, fat loser indeed!
January 4, 2024, 4:00 am
Arr, in the February of 2021, th' Secretary of State, Antony Blinken, be removin' th' Yemeni Houthi from th' list o' Foreign Terrorist Organizations. Three years hence, 'tis clear as crystal that this be an enormous blunder, me hearties!
January 4, 2024, 1:00 am
Arr, Avast ye, me hearties! Verily, the leavin' o' Claudine Gay as president o' Harvard Uni'ersity be no magic cure fer all th' woes o' higher learnin'!
January 3, 2024, 3:31 pm
Arr, on Tuesday, Harvard's captain Claudine Gay walked the plank and abandoned ship! Not a trace of regret in her farewell scribble, nor a hint of responsibility from her or the scoundrels at Harvard. Aye, a merry dance they be doin'!
January 3, 2024, 7:00 am
Arr, ye scurvy lot o' scribblers be nothin' but a rabble o' ruckus-raising ruffians, swearin' their allegiance to President Joe Biden and sharin' in his sorrows. Aye, they be a sorry sight to behold!
January 3, 2024, 4:00 am
Arr, me hearties! On Tuesday, January 2, the likes of Claudine Gay walked the plank and resigned as captain of Harvard University. Her scandalous reign be just a mere symptom of a mighty trouble that won't be fixed by her scuttlin'.
January 3, 2024, 4:00 am
Avast ye, me hearties! The ruckus in America's crime-ridden lands began in the cursed year 2020, amidst the dreaded COVID pestilence. 'Twas the demise of George Floyd that set the course, as ye scallywags called for the plundering of the police coffers! Arr, a treacherous tale indeed!
January 3, 2024, 4:00 am
Arrr, 'tis a brand spankin' new year, me hearties, brimmin' with treasures yet ter be discovered! Methinks this be the year when me fellow Americans rise against the outrageous, nay, downright scurvy doggish ways o' them overzealous, landlubberin' leftists!
January 3, 2024, 1:00 am
Arr! Usin' AI to conjure paintin's of wee ones in harm's way be no jolly jest. Nay, 'tis a dastardly act! Fer each AI likeness, there be actual young'uns sufferin'. May ye scurvy scoundrels face a watery fate!
December 31, 2023, 10:00 am
Avast ye, me hearty scallywags! Set yer sights on the freshest tidings from Fox News Opinion. Plunder the videos of Sean Hannity, Raymond Arroyo, and other rascals of the airwaves.
December 31, 2023, 9:00 am
Many a soul be tellin' me they feelin' like a landlubber, lost at sea. Me own heart knows this feelin' too, and yet I be makin' a livin' on the hopes of others! Be there aught ye can do? Aye, me matey, the answer be a resoundin' "aye!"
December 31, 2023, 7:00 am
Arrr, mateys! The grandest spectacles o' 2023 be the trials! 'Tis naught but more than mere court cases. Nay, they be tales o' scurvy dogs showin' us how some bilge rats be willin' to stoop to murder to grab their ill-gotten loot!
December 30, 2023, 9:00 am
Avast ye scurvy dogs! 'Tis common knowledge that these so-called New Year's resolutions be doomed for failure. If ye be truly yearnin' to overhaul yer wretched existence, ye must craft a written plot. Behold! The 7 steps to obtainin' all yer desires in the year 2024 be laid afore ye!
December 30, 2023, 7:00 am
'Tis the season, me hearties, when them scurvy doctors be dealin' with the likes o' flu, RSV, an' this cursed Covid. Yet, there be other ailments plaguin' our fair land, an' we must turn our attention to those treacherous troubles, me maties!
December 29, 2023, 10:00 am
Avast ye, mateys! Get yer fill of the latest scrawls from Fox News Opinion, and feast yer eyes upon the moving pictures of Sean Hannity, Raymond Arroyo, and their scurvy crew. Set yer sights on truth or be prepared to walk the plank, ye landlubbers!
December 29, 2023, 7:00 am
Arr! Avast, ye scoundrels! With Moscow's powerful force and plunderin' wealth o'er Kyiv, and ol' President Biden's befuddled cogitations, mark me words! By 2024, t'ere be naught but a tidal wave of blood, death, an' utter devastation washin' over Ukraine, aye.
December 29, 2023, 4:00 am
Avast, ye scallywags! These Leftists be fond o' them "land acknowledgments," prattlin' 'bout who held the land 'afore 'em. 'Tis high time we make 'em walk the plank 'n' enact it with a jolly force o' law. Let's see how these liberal lubbers react! Arrr!
December 29, 2023, 4:00 am
Avast ye scallywags! Behold, a New York legislator be embarkin' on a grand voyage to ban Chick-fil-A. But beware, mateys, for this endeavor may also mean the demise of Jewish, Muslim, and Christian-owned taverns! 'Tis a slap in the face to the progressive creed, full o' naught but sheer prejudice, arrr!
December 29, 2023, 4:00 am
Avast ye! The tussle fer free speech be no longer restricted to them college grounds, but hath spread to all o' society. Many scurvy dogs in power be misusin' this here privilege. That be why 'tis now more vital than ever to defend 't!
December 29, 2023, 1:00 am
Arr, this here artificial intelligence be troublin' parents, aye, but methinks it be a golden chance as well. AI can be a mighty tool for aidin' grown-ups in decidin' what be best for their wee ones' learnin'!
December 28, 2023, 7:00 am
Arrr mateys! Fer nigh on 25 years, a fair state be meldin' federal workforce development n' safety net programs, usin' a most ingenious model that hastens the journey from welfare to toil! Aye, 'tis a sight t'behold!
December 28, 2023, 4:00 am
Arr matey! Our fair nation be sufferin' a rise in villainy, from measly pilferin' to swashbucklin' carjacks. But 'tis no fault o' the "greedy 1%," for the true scallywags be our moral rot, not the wealthy scurvy dogs.
December 28, 2023, 4:00 am
Avast ye scurvy dogs! Many a state be a-hoistin' their sails, preparin' for the grand election o' 2024. They be toilin' to safeguard the vote, keepin' it honest and secure. But alas, the likes o' California be sluggardly, doin' naught to mend their ways!
December 28, 2023, 4:00 am
Arr, 'tis been a year o' peculiar scallywags - beggarly swashbucklers, a fresh monarch, treacherous and addled scurvy dogs (aye, all at once), and illustrious landlubbers who befoul our digital shores.
December 28, 2023, 1:00 am
Avast ye, mateys! If ye be findin' yerself lost amidst a treacherous sea o' career change, fear not! Here be a few nuggets o' wisdom to aid ye in searchin' for and pursuin' meaningful work in the year o' our Pirate Lord, 2024.
December 27, 2023, 4:00 am
Arrr! Biden and his scallywag crew be responsible for this dreadful border calamity, and now they be addin' insult to injury! The administration be aidin' these unlawful sailors, usin' precious resources meant for our brave veterans. Blimey!
December 27, 2023, 4:00 am
Arrr, the Biden crew be itchin' to parley wit' the scurvy Republicans 'bout the treacherous border! Yet methinks 'tis only 'cause the captain be lookin' to plunder their coffers fer an entirely different mission. Will the GOP fall fer this trickery, or keep their wits about 'em?
December 27, 2023, 4:00 am
Arrr, me hearties! Methinks the scurvy dogs of Team Biden be not content with pillagin' the stoves from us humble consumers. Nay, they be expandin' their plunderin' ways, targetin' four more types o' appliances in their treacherous war!+
December 27, 2023, 1:00 am
If ye be doin' 'em right, there be a jolly high chance yer New Year's vows will be part o' yer life in 2024 and beyond, me hearties! Here be a few ways to make that happen, savvy?
December 26, 2023, 7:00 am
Arrr, ye scurvy dogs o' the woke left be launchin' a full-on assault on America, its birth and the brave buccaneers who founded her. If we aim to stay afloat as a mighty nation, we all must raise our voices and defend our cherished booty, arrr!
December 26, 2023, 4:00 am
Arr, me hearties! Methinks there be worriments 'bout Biden's advanced years, his waning wit, and his pitiful landlubber skills. Aye, many a fine American hath discovered his scurvy ways and his penchant for deceit. Arr, 'tis a sorry state o' affairs, indeed!
December 26, 2023, 4:00 am
Avast ye scurvy dogs! Me thinks that Joe Biden's economic endeavors and fancy "Bidenomics" be not as successful as the White House be boastin'. He may be yammerin' 'bout "jobs, jobs, jobs" but that be naught but a heap o' hogwash!
December 26, 2023, 4:00 am
Arr! Biden's plan to be forgivin' student debts be but a wee part of the foul higher learnin' muddle. Them institutions be usin' their nonprofit status to hoard gold worth countless doubloons!
December 26, 2023, 1:00 am
Arr! As the year nears its end, we pirates set our sights on the horizon. 'Tis a time for reckonin' with wills and estates, a task as treacherous as the seas! Yet, learn from the Queen of Soul, me hearties, and do it proper, lest ye face Davy Jones' locker!
December 25, 2023, 8:00 am
Avast ye scallywags! 'Tis that time o' year again, when the sea of Christmastime be treacherous fer us all. Some of ye may find yerselves marooned in lonesome lands, while others be burdened by debts, ailments, and the like. But fear not! Fer the true meaning o' this season be to navigate these tempestuous waters 'n find inner peace! Arrr!
December 25, 2023, 6:00 am
Arrr, ye landlubbers! In the wintry days of 1776, whilst the continental army be a-strugglin' to keep the fight alive, valiant sailor-soldiers hailing from Marblehead, Massachusetts, be lendin' a hand to rescue George Washington's army at Trenton. Aye, they be true heroes o' the sea!
December 24, 2023, 8:00 am
Arrr, mateys! The eager wait fer the birth o' Christ be found aplenty in the Holy Book, like treasure hidden among its pages. Aye, 'tis a tale o' grand expectin' that'll make yer heart skip a beat, me hearties!
December 24, 2023, 7:00 am
With a mighty wind blowin' through the sails o' economic uncertainty, and the tempestuous battles ragin' 'cross distant lands, yonder words of Reagan's Christmas speech still hold true in these troubled times, me hearties!
December 24, 2023, 6:00 am
Arrr, Christmas be bringin' us famous landlubbers like George Bailey, Scrooge, and the Grinch from ye olde media. They be remindin' us swashbucklers how much we be needin' the holiday spirit! Here be five jolly good reasons why, me hearties!
December 23, 2023, 8:00 am
Arr, me KKK ways be scarin' me goodly wife! In fear fer our wee ones 'n kith, she be seekin' solace from Google, beggin': "Pray tell, how be I rid me hubby o' this wretched hate crew?"
December 23, 2023, 8:00 am
Avast, me hearties! In this fierce skirmish betwixt consumerism and a jolly ol' Christmas with kin, tis a sad tale that faith and family be sufferin' as our belief in religion be waning. Fear not, me lads and lasses, for I be sharin' a few tips to mend this dire situation.
December 23, 2023, 6:00 am
Avast, when scoundrels strike, when afflictions run wild, when kinfolk crumble... when all that be jolly crumbles to dust, what be the honorable folk to do? What be the divine retort to the miseries of life?
December 22, 2023, 2:10 pm
Avast ye, matey! Since me divorce, I've been sailin' me ship through unfamiliar waters, aye! Aye, it be a mighty peculiar feelin', like a scurvy dog left stranded, all marred and cast off by the crew. Arrr, tis a lonely voyage, indeed!
December 22, 2023, 11:00 am
Arrr! Be it true, mateys, that o'er 450,000 lasses be poppin' perilous pills for their abortions on the American shores! We be takin' this matter afore the Supreme Court, hopin' they don't turn a blind eye to the peril that befallin' these fair womenfolk!
December 22, 2023, 9:51 am
Avast ye mateys! Lay yer eyes upon th' freshest musings from Fox News Opinion, where ye can feast yer peepers on fine videos o' Sean Hannity, Laura Ingraham, Jesse Watters, an' a whole crew o' scallywags!
December 22, 2023, 7:00 am
Avast ye scallywags! Many a landlubber be fooled by the notion that cancel culture be naught but a right wing trickery! Fear not, for a tome be on the horizon, enlightening souls and showin' 'em the true nature of bein' canceled!
December 22, 2023, 4:00 am
Arr! Methinks young Hunter Biden, the Presidential son, be playin' the victim card to assail the House Republicans! He doth go on, claimin' that the GOP be tryin' to strip him of his humanity. But lo and behold, the lad hath none but his own actions to be blamin'!
December 22, 2023, 4:00 am
Arrr, me hearties, our culture 'as deceived Gen Z and millennial lasses wi' tales of false feminist futures. Now they be dreadin' wakin' at sixty, filled wi' sorrow and solitude. Scurvy dogs!
December 22, 2023, 4:00 am
Whilst battlin' alongside th' marines in Iraq, I did learn some hard truths that Israel, too, ought t' grasp in Gaza. The IDF must safeguard th' innocents, or they'll only be breedin' more scallywag terrorists. Arrr!
December 22, 2023, 1:00 am
Arr, me hearties! The treacherous land o' Holy, shrouded in darkness as the battle rages against them scurvy Hamas scoundrels. Aye, Bethlehem be no stranger to sorrow, just like when that scurvy King Herod be sendin' innocent wee Jewish lads to Davy Jones' locker!
December 21, 2023, 12:03 pm
Arr mateys! A shipload o' me Democratic mates be reckonin' we can thwart Trump from th' ballot o' 2024 without sufferin' any ill fate. Ha! Methinks they be walkin' th' plank to folly, scurvy dogs! They be dead wrong, mark me words!
December 21, 2023, 7:00 am
Avast ye mateys! Rush Limbaugh, that scurvy dog, be kickin' off the Yuletide season with some merry Mannheim Steamroller Christmas tunes, blarin' 'em between breaks since the Wednesday afore Thanksgiving. Yo ho ho, let the festivities commence!
December 21, 2023, 4:00 am
Avast ye, me hearties! The border be in dire straits, yet the House did pass a solution in May. But alas! 'Tis not the border bill that scurvy Biden be seekin', for it would truly handle the pestilence of illegal immigration! Arrr, what a tale of woe!
December 21, 2023, 4:00 am
Arr, ye scurvy dogs! The plight of wee ones be dire, with poverty numbers havin' doubled! Aye, there be now 9 million scallywags in want, and our troubles be plenty: the cursed economic woes, the sorry state of education, and a crisis in fatherhood, all be addin' to the mess!
December 21, 2023, 4:00 am
If ye don't lay yer eyes upon a single o' these flicks each year, ye shan't taste the joys o' Christmas, matey. Santa himself won't be wastin' his time givin' ye a speck o' carbon-based power. Ye be doomed to the naughty scroll, arrr!
December 21, 2023, 1:00 am
Arrr, on Tuesday, the Colorado Supreme Court didst make a decarrrsion to scuttle former President Trump's hopes of settin' sail for the 2024 election. No ballot be awaitin' him in those treacherous waters, savvy?
December 20, 2023, 7:00 am
Arr, mateys! The Mideast be ablaze with trouble, and the mighty U.S. be gatherin' a fleet o' naval scallywags. Among 'em be some fearsome guided-missile destroyers, ready to send those scurvy dogs runnin' for their lives!
December 20, 2023, 4:00 am
Arrr! The New York Times be veerin' to the port side, mateys! 'Tis all thanks to a scandal o' 2003. Yours truly be earnin' a booty called the Pulitzer from the Times, but their ex-captain be speakin' truth 'bout their "culture of intolerance."
December 20, 2023, 4:00 am
Arr, when them government scallywags be takin' away the religious flavors from Christmas, 'tis akin to them Soviet leaders puttin' an end to religion and replacin' Christmas with a godless New Year's bash in the USSR. Aye, 'tis a fine mess we be findin' ourselves in!
December 20, 2023, 4:00 am
Arr, me hearties! This yuletide, I be wieldin' a simple concoction to make me kinfolk grasp the path to mend our beloved land. 'Tis a trifecta, ye see, that sets us sailin' toward unity!
December 20, 2023, 1:00 am
In the year of 2023, we hath witnessed a time o' great tales, me mateys! Methinks 'twas a year o' heroes, aye, like Taylor Swift, and miscreants aplenty (too numerous to mention). But avast! Let us now set our gaze upon those fine souls whose celestial radiance outshone all others.
December 19, 2023, 10:39 am
Avast ye matey! Set yer sights on the finest rumblings from Fox News Opinion! Set yer eyes upon the wondrous scribblings and moving pictures crafted by the likes of Sean Hannity, Laura Ingraham, Jesse Watters, and a whole lot o' scallywags. Give 'em a gander, if ye dare!
December 19, 2023, 7:00 am
Avast, ye scallywags! This day's Iran be fierce and perilous. Yet, mark me words, tomorrow's Iran be growin' mightier if it be discoverin' its long-sought-after dream o' possessin' nuclear weapons. Aye, we be in a dire situation, me hearties!
December 19, 2023, 7:00 am
Arrr! The scurvy dogs o' Los Angeles and them blasted legislators what be causin' California's financial quagmire 'ave come up with a fancy new plan, right out o' the ol' rulebook!
December 19, 2023, 4:00 am
Avast ye scurvy scallywags! In my days at the EPA, I fought tooth and peg leg to put an end to the cruel trials faced by our furry mates. But alas, that Biden be a hornswagglin' landlubber! He be reversin' me wise decision, denyin' even the chance for these fine critters to enjoy a well-deserved retirement from their dreaded tests. Arrr, 'tis a sad day for our four-legged mates!
December 19, 2023, 4:00 am
Avast ye scallywags! Methinks the Democrat bench be quite feeble. Newsom, Whitmer, an' Harris, they all be havin' their flaws. But fear not, for there be a mysterious pirate lurkin' in the shadows, a dark-horse candidate, ready to become President Biden's 2024 election booty! Ahoy!
December 19, 2023, 4:00 am
Me lass be mighty ill at ease, sharin' a chamber, nay a berth, wit' a young rapscallion, no matter their identity. She be sneakin' off t'the privy, cryin' for me aid.
December 19, 2023, 4:00 am
Arrrr, mateys! We be facin' mighty troubles at home and across the seven seas. But fear ye not, for in America's grand tale, that be nothin' strange. Our finest captains be transformed into colossal legends by the storms they battled.
December 18, 2023, 1:00 pm
Avast ye! Seven mighty American companies be holdin' the global economy in their grasp, and 'tis they who've made all the booty in the stock market this year. But, arrr, why be our scurvy politicians wantin' to scuttle 'em?
December 18, 2023, 7:00 am
Arrr, me hearties! The Grinch be sailin' all over this Christmas, settlin' his boots in the White House. Them poor souls cursed with the dread of Bidenomics shan't be findin' much treasure this jolly season, only more parchment demandin' payment.
December 18, 2023, 4:00 am
Ahoy, me hearties! 'Twas a sorry sight indeed when Claudine Gay, a landlubber bureaucrat, found herself caught in the glare of Capitol Hill. Methinks she brought great shame upon herself and her university. And, arrr, she managed to escape scot-free when Harvard turned a blind eye to her misdeeds.
December 18, 2023, 4:00 am
Arrr, mateys! Pennsylvania and CNX Resources be settin' sail on a grand adventure, joinin' forces to lower emissions and safeguard our precious energy jobs through this bold voyage of transparency. Aye, 'tis a tale for the ages!
December 18, 2023, 4:00 am
Arrr, matey! Boeing be a prime concern for Xi! Them commercial planes be the finest treasure America offers to China and the seven seas! But Beijing be yearnin' to turn the tide and snatch it all away, arrr!
December 18, 2023, 1:00 am
Arrr, matey! Biden be defyin' the spirit o' OpenAI, with his secretive decree on artificial intelligence. Nay a trace be found in th' White House's words 'bout uncoverin' them sly biases hidin' in source code. Aye, 'tis a treacherous sea we be sailin' on!
December 17, 2023, 9:00 am
Avast ye, mateys! 'Tis Advent, a jolly time to reconnect with the Almighty. C.S. Lewis, that fine scribbler of "The Chronicles of Narnia," did fashion a lion named Aslan to resemble our Lord, provin' that God be forever at yer side. Arrr!
December 17, 2023, 7:00 am
Arrr, matey! As the cap'n of a Christian school, I be learnin' a disheartenin' truth - them portrayals of Jesus we be seein' don't match the true likeness o' our Savior! Aye, 'tis a mighty blunder, me hearties!
December 16, 2023, 9:00 am
Avast ye scurvy landlubbers! Three fine Republican scallywags be teachin' us land-dwellers the art o' interrogatin' a hostile witness! But hold yer horses, for there be more tales to tell...
December 16, 2023, 7:00 am
Arr, in the year 2012, when our ship was burdened with a mighty mountain of debt, we hatched a clever plan. We be willing to go to extreme lengths, yarrr! 'Twas the hour to forge a fresh path, and create a new legacy, me hearties!
December 15, 2023, 7:00 am
Arr, we dwell in a land that curses the selfsame power that brought us hence, and we embrace energy confines and so-called "pure vigor" that befall greatly wanting in its intended purpose.
December 15, 2023, 4:00 am
Biden be addin' trans agenda and "gender identity" rules to government jobs. Sailors now be banned from usin' "incorrect" words that might stir a "hostile workplace." Arr! Walkin' the plank if ye mess up!
December 15, 2023, 4:00 am
Arrr, mateys! "A Charlie Brown Christmas" be a jolly holiday special, shapin' the season fer ages! Here be 10 secrets 'bout this yuletide gem ye didn't know, ye scurvy scallywags.
December 15, 2023, 4:00 am
Arr, me hearties! Jefferson gave a fearsome warning 'bout the devilish scourge o' antisemitism. He knew our mighty America be a cure fer this poison. Let us take up arms once more, me mateys, and protect our Jewish brethren from harm!
December 15, 2023, 1:00 am
Avast ye scurvy dogs! In a grand spectacle aired across Russia, the mighty Vladimir Putin, the ruler of the land, be addressing the leaders of Russia's religious factions. He be singin' the praises of the Orthodox Church while givin' the West a good old lashin'!
December 14, 2023, 10:56 pm
Arr, me mateys! 'Tis a tale o' FOX News scallywag Greg Gutfeld, afeared o' Boston Mayor Michelle Wu's merry gathering reserved fer non-White councilors! Arr, ye be watchin' "Gutfeld!" to see what this ruckus be all about, ye scurvy dogs!
December 14, 2023, 4:00 am
Arrr, in a recent study scrutinizin' the employment of cellphones in schools, a mighty 97% of young scallywags aged 11 to 17 admitted to wieldin' their phones whilst learnin'. The average swashbucklin' lasted precisely 43 minutes each day, mateys!
December 14, 2023, 4:00 am
Avast ye scurvy dogs! 'Tis no surprise that the Americans be mutinin' against the bilge rats of mainstream media. They spy the press shieldin' the Biden clan. These so-called journalists, they be not searchin' fer foul play, nay, they be concealin' it instead!
December 14, 2023, 1:00 am
In th' reenactment o' th' Christmas tale in many Christmas pageants, ye scallywags all be wantin' to be angels or sheep. Yet, no soul braves t' be a donkey. But let's all ponder upon th' humble donkey, me hearties! Arrr!
December 13, 2023, 10:28 pm
Avast ye, ye scurvy dogs! The merry panel o' 'Gutfeld!' be mighty flabbergasted by the hidden treasure known as 'Chesterton's Fence.' Arr, they be scratchin' their heads like landlubbers lost at sea! Har, har!
December 13, 2023, 7:00 am
Avast ye scoundrels! As President Biden be surrendering control o'er our southern border to them Mexican drug and human trafficking cartels, be witnessin' the political consequences unfoldin' afore our very eyes. Methinks 'tis a spectacle worth watchin'!
December 13, 2023, 4:00 am
Lo! The inclusion of swashbucklin' lads in the fair maidens' athletic contests be puttin' the lady athletes in dire peril o' a trans mutiny! Verily, some lassies be endurin' grievous wounds indeed. Arrr!
December 13, 2023, 4:00 am
Arrr, me hearties! Ye be knowin' that the Black Lives Matter protests and the DEI bureaucracy be playin' a part in university antisemitism. But lo and behold, the scandal be gettin' even worse, as ye scurvy college presidents come forward with their tales!
December 13, 2023, 4:00 am
Whilst them American diplomats be fearin' like landlubbers o'er teeny temperature shifts, a sight o' billions across th' globe would dance a jig at th' chance t' revel in steady electric power, ye might reckon!
December 13, 2023, 1:00 am
Arr, me hearties! 'Tis a time when scallywags be tusslin' with loneliness o'er the holidays, and our crew's fam'ly situation don't always deliver the ideal Christmas. But mark ye well, me mateys, fer family be a treasure unmatched, a priceless holiday gift fer them souls who be fightin' the odds.
December 12, 2023, 10:43 pm
Avast ye scallywags! The scurvy dogs on the 'Gutfeld!' panel be chattering 'bout Harvard's groggy response to the yapping of their captain, Claudine Gay, in front of them landlubber Congress. Arrr, what a sight fer sore eyes!
December 12, 2023, 8:58 am
Avast ye mateys! Feast yer eyes upon the newest tales from Fox News Opinion. Be witness to the musings of Sean Hannity, Raymond Arroyo, and a whole lot more. Set yer sights on their grand videos, arrr!
December 12, 2023, 7:00 am
Arrr! In th' month o' October, a scurvy poll revealed a mere 37 percent o' th' landlubbers be havin' a favorable view, mateys! Avast! Arrr ye surprised by this news, me hearties?
December 12, 2023, 4:00 am
Arr, lasses be battlin' fer ages to be treated as equals, but now our rights be takin' a blow! We be forced to surrender our rightful claim to sports crews, places, and havens. 'Tis a travesty, me hearties!
December 12, 2023, 4:00 am
Avast ye scallywags! Black Lives Matter be singin' praises for them dastardly terrorists, spillin' innocent blood, plunderin' lasses, and slicin' wee babes' heads. 'Tis high time we scuttle their propaganda ship, and give 'em no quarter!
December 12, 2023, 4:00 am
Arr, the Democrats be in a terrible tizzy at the thought o' Donald Trump facin' President Biden in 2024. Ye can see the liberal media goin' bonkers wit' their histrionics, I tell ye!
December 12, 2023, 1:00 am
Arr, ye lily-livered Americans who be fearin' the future o' AI in the workplace! Ye scallywags be needin' to open yer eyes to the wonders o' ChatGPT, for it be a matey ye can trust to boost yer skills and prowess. Join forces, me hearties!
December 11, 2023, 10:34 pm
Avast ye mateys! Me hearties on the 'Gutfeld!' panel be all abuzz, aghast at the resignation of the UPenn captain! They be clamorin' for the Harvard and MIT captains to walk the plank too, lest they face a mutiny of their own! Arrr!
December 11, 2023, 7:00 am
Arr, me hearties! The F-35 be showin' the might o' American technology, while China best be keepin' an eye on it. Many a US matey be usin' these fighters, and Israel's jet be takin' down a Houthi cruise missile, ye scurvy dogs!
December 11, 2023, 4:00 am
Arrr! Avast ye scurvy dogs! 'Tis a tale o' woe! The finest Christian college in all the land be under siege by those woke Biden buccaneers! They be plunderin' the institution with a whopping fine o' $37.7 million! Shiver me timbers!
December 11, 2023, 4:00 am
Arrr, me hearties! The scurvy Republicans be gabbing 'bout fixin' the ills of Obamacare once more. Here be four ways to make it more affordable by cuttin' costs, ye savvy?
December 11, 2023, 4:00 am
Biden's lunatic haste to scurvy renewable energy like wind and solar be meanin' we shan't have trustworthy power round the clock, year round, as we do now, mateys! America be yearnin' for a hearty energy grid we can rely upon!
December 10, 2023, 10:00 am
Avast ye, mateys! Set yer eyes on the tales o' Fox News Opinion, where ye can feast yer eyes on videos from the likes o' Sean Hannity, Raymond Arroyo, an' many a jolly soul.
December 10, 2023, 9:00 am
Arrr, me hearties! 'Tis the jolly ol' Yuletide upon us! Not just fer treasures and marvels, or a wondrous birth, but for rejoicin' in the shinin' souls durin' the darkest of hours. Yo ho ho and a mug o' grog!
December 10, 2023, 7:00 am
Arr, in me swashbucklin' days, me eldest scallywag Dallas gave me a real peg-leg to stand on! Aye, 'twas after we finished our pious shanties, Bible recitals 'n prayers. The lad had the audacity to tell his old sea dog that he be wishin' for a different father, he did!
December 9, 2023, 9:00 am
Arrr, me hearties! Shiver me timbers! The mighty Supreme Court be holdin' the power to thwart a grand, treacherous plot! Beware, for the states be trampling parental and religious rights, forc'n lads and lasses into the treacherous waters of gender transition. Bring justice to this foul scheme, ye honorable scallywags!
December 9, 2023, 7:00 am
Arr, mateys! The yearly Army-Navy clash be a testament to our grand values o' honor, tradition, heart, and manners that bind our mighty nation. A vast 87% o' Americans be in accord that our land needs such virtues, aye!
December 8, 2023, 1:00 pm
On the 8th day of December, in the year 2022, fair lass Brittney Griner was set free from the clutches of a Russian dungeon, all thanks to a swap involving the notorious scoundrel Viktor Bout, known as the "Merchant of Death."
December 8, 2023, 10:13 am
Arr, me hearties! The scallywag President Joe Biden's scurvy son be facin' a second indictmint! Aye, nine new charges be on 'is plate. Aye, this be a jolly reminder of the perils that befall ye when them thievin' lawyers be gettin' too greedy!
December 8, 2023, 8:25 am
Avast ye mateys! Set yer eyes upon the latest tidings from Fox News Opinion, and feast yer peepers on videos of Sean Hannity, Raymond Arroyo, and their scallywag crew. Aye, 'tis a treasure trove of news and entertainment ye won't want to miss!
December 8, 2023, 7:00 am
Arr, ye scurvy dogs at the UN climate change conference, COP28, be tellin' us landlubbers to be eatin' less meat! But mark me words, that's just the tip o' the iceberg. They be plannin' more mischief for us poor souls.
December 8, 2023, 4:00 am
Avast ye scurvy dogs! Yet another Disney flick hath met a watery grave at the box office, all thanks to its own folly. 'Tis forsaken its loyal audience, from movies to merchandise to theme parks. Walk the plank, Disney, for yer own misdeeds be yer downfall!
December 8, 2023, 4:00 am
Arrrgh! The scurvy landlubbers should know that the vast majority of Americans be in favor of access to abortion. Any who dare not embrace this truth be a lily-livered scallywag, out of tune with the heart of the American folk.
December 8, 2023, 4:00 am
Avast ye scurvy dogs! Recent happenin's on the high seas o' geopolitics, like the wars in the Middle East and Ukraine, and that China's sneaky grip on energy supply be makin' it vital we secure our own energy future, or be doomed to Davy Jones' locker!
December 8, 2023, 1:00 am
Yarr, despite them blunderin' college presidents makin' a fool of themselves on Capitol Hill, me heart be knowin' me school must stand with Israel. 'Tis the duty o' a chancellor to speak out, or be called a scurvy landlubber!
December 7, 2023, 1:24 pm
Arr, mateys! Three captains o' the most esteemed universities in America be sailin' to Capitol Hill this week. But, by Davy Jones' locker! Their refusal to speak against hate and the surgin' tide of antisemitism be explainin' why it be thrivin' like a mighty kraken!
December 7, 2023, 4:00 am
Arrr, matey! The likes of billionaire George Soros bebackin' these radical progressive scallywags fer the grand position of distict attorney, aye! But alas, methinks their rule be bringin' naught but risin' crime and a cut in safety. Shiver me timbers, 'tis a blunderous affair, I tell ye!
December 7, 2023, 4:00 am
Arr, matey! The Israeli Defense Forces be showin' us landlubbers a wee 47-minute flick, exposin' but a scallywag's share of Hamas's brutal ways. Avast! The tale be grim, yet a mere drop in the ocean of their wickedness!
December 7, 2023, 4:00 am
Avast ye, me hearties! The House Judiciary Committee and Select Subcommittee on the Weaponization of the Federal Government hath unveiled a scroll on censorship, mark me words. Aye, 'tis a tale worth tellin', me lads!
December 7, 2023, 1:00 am
Arr, matey! Methinks there be a right jolly resemblance betwixt the Hannukah sorcery of yore and the pickle where Israel be stuck now. Aye, tis a tale of mighty marvels repeatin' o'er time!
December 7, 2023, 1:00 am
Arrr, matey! Methinks there be a true connection betwixt the ancient Hannukah sorcery and Israel's current plight. Aye, 'tis a miracle lost in time, but still be seen in the land of Israel, arr!
December 6, 2023, 10:34 pm
Arr, the scallywag Greg Gutfeld be settin' his sights on the 'madness' that be unfoldin'! Two Blackbeard's Lootin' Mateys, part of the BLM crew, be gettin' a measly fine o' 500 gold doubloons and 5 years o' probation. Ye can hear the whole tale on "Gutfeld!"
December 6, 2023, 4:00 am
In the misty waters o' Ivy League, as tides o' anti-Israel fervor be growin' at Harvard and Yale, some Jewish mateys be swearin' they won't send their wee ones there. Aye, but this be a fool's errand, me hearties!
December 6, 2023, 4:00 am
Avast ye! The most recent Reagan National Defense Survey reveals a steadfast conviction that the United States must play the part of a mighty leader in this vast world, restoring its weakened military prowess, and standing by our comrades and allies. Arrr, aye, tis the pirate's code of honor!
December 6, 2023, 4:00 am
Arr, ye scurvy dog! A true captain of this mighty land should be guardin' the shores and defendin' the rights of our fine people. But alas, this President Biden be missin' from duty when it comes to safeguardin' our borders. Avast, where be his sense o' responsibility?
December 6, 2023, 1:00 am
Arrr, me hearties! The landlubbers across the ocean, they be losin' trust and confidence in the FBI, yarr! This be makin' a splash on national security, me mateys!
December 2, 2023, 9:00 am
Arrr, ye scurvy dogs of the New World hath lost the art of courtesy! Be it that cursed COVID or these fancy gadgets, 'tis time we shape up, me hearties. Here be 18 ways to cease irking every soul 'round ye.
December 2, 2023, 7:00 am
Arr, a fellow landlubber be I, a healer of the sick. Yet, I bear a cursed affliction known as Type 1 diabetes. 'Tis through this wretched condition that I have unearthed the link betwixt this malady and the state of one's mind. Hark ye, scallywags, and heed these three nuggets of wisdom.
December 1, 2023, 10:53 am
In but 35 winters, American moral compass be adrift, with citizens doubting all grand institutions. Yet, the hearty GOP casting out of Santos be a glint o' hope, a sign that brighter skies may yet grace our horizon.
December 1, 2023, 10:02 am
Avast ye! Set yer eyes upon the newest tidings from Fox News Opinion, matey! Behold the visual tales spun by Sean Hannity, Raymond Arroyo, and their merry crew. Set sail and give it a gander, ye scurvy dog!
December 1, 2023, 7:00 am
Arr! With Biden's border misfortunes showin' no signs of calmin', Texas be passin' new laws, includin' one that allows state and local authorities to seize and command those would-be ocean wanderers to return to Mexico!
December 1, 2023, 4:00 am
"Arrr, mateys! Behold, the sacred tome known as 'The Official Walt Disney Quote Book', crafted by the fine quartermasters of the Walt Disney Archives. Aye, this division was forged a mere four years after the demise of its illustrious captain at the ripe age of 65 summers gone by."
December 1, 2023, 4:00 am
Arrr! A new tome 'bout the British royal kin was published this week, 'Endgame' by the scribbler Omid Scobie. Methinks the scallywag be makin' outlandish tales, yet providin' naught but a pinch o' evidence. Here be what we be knowin'!
December 1, 2023, 1:00 am
Arrr! Tales o' life be both tear-jerkin' an' joy-fillin'. Give 'em the chance to speak, me hearties!
December 1, 2023, 1:00 am
Avast ye scurvy dogs! A recent investigation amongst landlubber parents in the K-12 schooling realm be exposin' a jarring truth for American wee ones. Their kin's own folks reckon they be achievin' the grade's target, but alas, their assumptions be naught but a pile o' barnacles on a sunken ship!
November 30, 2023, 7:00 am
Arrr! Many a landlubber among the public scallywags be havin' the right to keep their doubloons, and not be forced to part with 'em to them government labor unions. Aye, 'tis a constitutional treasure!
November 30, 2023, 4:00 am
Arr, mateys! The mighty U-2 of Eisenhower's time be a true treasure! From spyin' on enemies durin' the Cold War to spottin' those pesky Chinese balloons hoverin' o'er our land this very year, it be as versatile as a pirate with a map 'n compass!
November 30, 2023, 4:00 am
Arr, mateys! Word be spreadin' that the ITC be makin' a decree! Apple be walkin' the plank, fer they can nae peddle their fancy Apple Watch in the land of the free. It be a tale o' patent pilferin' brought by a scurvy dog named Masimo. Shiver me timbers!
November 30, 2023, 4:00 am
Arrr! America's scurvy foes be growin' mightier with each passin' sun, yet the Biden crew be naught but feeble! Aye, them White House rascals be wantin' to soothe, not clash with the rogues on the horizon!
November 30, 2023, 1:00 am
Arrr, I've laid me eyes on many a fancy tricks for healin' those afflicted with a stroke. But matey, now we be havin' this wondrous contraption called artificial intelligence (AI), a fearsome mate to aid us in battle!
November 29, 2023, 4:00 am
Avast ye scallywags! We be sailin' on a treacherous sea o' weakened families that be breedin' a weakened nation. Arrr! The once trusty institutions we relied on be crumblin' like a booty-less sandcastle.
November 29, 2023, 4:00 am
Arr, the plundering tale of yore unfolds! 'Twas a time when the landlubber Iran did seize 66 American souls, holdin' 'em captive fer a mighty 444 sunsets. Hostage terror, a newfangled mischief, did grace the modern world's stage. Aye, the scallywags made history, they did!
November 29, 2023, 1:00 am
Arrr, me hearties! 'Tis the month o' National Adoption, observed in the fine November. Gather 'round, me friends, as I regale ye with a tale o' how a wee lad, so precious, joined our merry crew and became kin to our beloved kinship.
November 28, 2023, 10:22 pm
"Avast, ye scallywags! Thar be a mighty ruckus on the 'Gutfeld!' deck, as the landlubber panelists be flabbergasted by a parchment speakin' o' 'ow to 'decenter whiteness.' Methinks they be lost in a tempest o' confusin' words! Arrr!"
November 28, 2023, 1:00 pm
Arrr! Avast ye! The dreaded U.S.-Mexico border be now the treacherous haven for scallywags, makin' it the most perilous crossin' in all the seven seas! Ye best be keepin' yer wits about ye if ye dare to set foot on that treacherous soil!
November 28, 2023, 8:14 am
Avast ye mateys! Behold the latest tidings from Fox News Opinion, and lay thy peepers on videos of Sean Hannity, Raymond Arroyo, and other scallywags. Set yer sights on this bounty, lest ye be deemed a landlubber!
November 28, 2023, 7:00 am
Avast ye scurvy dogs! Be it known that on this fine Tuesday, a glimmer of hope doth shine bright amidst a time when the earthly treasures hold sway o'er all. 'Tis the giving season, where generosity be the true treasure worth seeking!
November 28, 2023, 4:00 am
Avast ye mateys! If ye be scannin' the streets o' Santa Monica or Venice, ye'll see the likes o' mayhem and chaos. 'Tis clear as the open sea that Gov. Newsom and California's response to the scurvy homeless crisis be a dire disaster indeed! Arrr!
November 28, 2023, 4:00 am
Arr, 'tis vital to cut down on ship's smoke, and ye olde electric vehicles can lend a hand. But, by Blackbeard's whiskers! We ain't as keen as Biden on goin' all electric.
November 28, 2023, 4:00 am
Arrr, me hearties! President Joe Biden be set on seekin' a second haul in his grand office. Yet, the likenesses betwixt him and another Democrat who be yearnin' for a second term be downright peculiar. Splice the mainbrace, it be a tale worth tellin'!
November 28, 2023, 1:00 am
Arr, me hearties! PEPFAR, a true savior, hath rescued 25 million souls from Davy Jones' locker! It be granting an extra 5.5 million wee ones a new lease on life, free from the cursed HIV. And to top it off, the landlubbers in PEPFAR's recipient nations be enjoyin' a mortality rate sailin' 20% lower! Yo ho ho!
November 27, 2023, 4:00 am
November 27, 2023, 4:00 am
Arrr, mateys! The grand House Committee on Oversight and Accountability be quickenin' its inquiry into Joe Biden's mishandlin' o' classified papers. This investigation be far from bein' concluded, mark me words!
November 27, 2023, 4:00 am
Avast ye! The deconstruction of immigration keepers be causin' a constant influx o' scallywags at the border who we can't possibly inspect. 'Tis puttin' American lives at peril, I tell ye!
November 27, 2023, 1:00 am
Avast ye, mateys! Behold the lone vessel o' the U.S. Air Force, armed with range and stealth, perfect fer pursuin' China's scallywag missiles and blastin' them bunkers hidin' beneath the ground. Arrr, a fearsome beast this plane be!
November 26, 2023, 9:00 am
Arrr, me hearties! The fine souls of the House of Representatives have just cast their votes to give a good ol' censure to that scallywag Rep. Rashida Tlaib, a true firebrand of the seas! Avast, the winds of change be blowin'!
November 26, 2023, 7:00 am
Arrr, 'tis true, me matey! 'A Charlie Brown Christmas' be catchin' them scurvy TV scallywags off guard! They were not reckonin' on such a subversive holiday tale. Methinks they be doubting its success, but lo and behold, it be a jolly hit!
November 25, 2023, 9:00 am
Avast ye scurvy dogs! This here sly trickery of a government shutdown be nothin' but a sham! They be keepin' all their precious coins and takin' on more debt like a bunch o' landlubbers!
November 24, 2023, 10:42 pm
Arrr, me hearties! Ye be listenin' to FOX News' own Greg Gutfeld, who be revealin' the perils facin' the grand Western civilization as the battle betwixt Israel and Hamas rages on in "Gutfeld!" Shiver me timbers, this be a tale ye don't want to miss, mateys!
November 24, 2023, 9:00 am
Arr, mateys! The Biden crew be settin' sail on a grand voyage, aimin' to wage war against the cursed cigarettes! They be plannin' to revive the ol' prohibition, but this time, their sights be fixed on the devil's weed, not the devil's drink! Yo ho ho, what a curious turn o' events, indeed!
November 24, 2023, 7:00 am
Arr, me hearties! 'Tis the day after gorgin' on turkey, when the seas be stormy with discounts and deals. They be callin' it 'Black Friday.' But beware, me mateys, for that plastic pirate's curse, the credit card debt, be lurkin' nearby, ready to plunder yer pockets faster than a cannonball!
November 23, 2023, 4:00 am
Arr, me hearties! Thanksgiving be a grand occasion fer gatherin' with yer kin and mates. 'Tis also the finest moment to spill yer thoughts 'pon crucial matters to them ye trust. So batten down the hatches, and let the speakin' begin!
November 23, 2023, 4:00 am
Avast ye! Gather 'round, me hearties! 'Tis Thanksgiving in the year 2023, and I be sharin' me list o' gratitude. 'Tis startin' with me mateys and kin, but by Blackbeard's beard, 'tisn't endin' there! I be thankin' the crafty innovators and scurvy dogs o' the land!
November 23, 2023, 4:00 am
Avast ye mateys! Lady Rosalynn Carter, a fine soul indeed, hath embarked on her final voyage on the 19th of November. At a ripe old age of 96, her heart brimmed with compassion for the less fortunate. Ahoy! I tip me hat, grateful for her blessed existence!
November 22, 2023, 11:20 pm
Arr, ye scurvy dogs! Fox News scallywag, Greg Gutfeld, be swearin' on his blackened soul that the legacy media and the Democratic scallywags be sufferin' from a dreadful ailment he calls "Trump derangement disease." The blight be spreadin' like a storm on his show, "Gutfeld!"
November 22, 2023, 4:00 am
Avast ye! We can't be toleratin' the Chinese Communist Party's adored social media app fer Americans to undermine our hearties' fondness fer liberty and honorin' o' human life. Methinks Congress needs t' enact a complete TikTok prohibition!
November 22, 2023, 4:00 am
Arr, me own kin, Cap'n John F. Kennedy, be cruelly slain on the 22nd o' November, in the year 1963. 'Tis been 60 long years since his demise, yet his grand dream o' America as a haven o' peace remains unfulfilled, me hearties!
November 22, 2023, 4:00 am
Arr, the Biden crew be at it again, sailin' the treacherous seas o' sendin' gold, mateys! They be sendin' their precious treasure, worth hundreds o' millions, to them Palestinians! Even worse, they be knowin' that scallywags like Hamas be snatchin' that booty for themselves in Gaza! Argh!
November 22, 2023, 1:00 am
Arrr! Me voyage wit' Lee and Marina Oswald set sail in June o' 1962. A year afte', me father didst translate fer Marina whilst the Secret Service dug deep into her noggin, seekin' knowledge 'bout a grand conspiracy, ye scurvy dogs!
November 19, 2023, 10:00 am
Avast ye mateys! Lay yer eyes upon th' most recent tidings from Fox News Opinion, and feast yer peepers upon th' moving pictures o' Sean Hannity, Raymond Arroyo, an' many a fine sailor o' th' screen. Set yer sails fer knowledge, and let th' laughter commence!
November 19, 2023, 9:00 am
Arrr, ye scallywags reckonin' that the doubloons o' Christianity be sinkin' in China be talkin' nonsense, I say! The faithful there be facin' persecution, makin' the reckonin' o' data on religion as trustworthy as a rotten plank!
November 19, 2023, 7:00 am
Arrr mateys! We be the Sisters of Life, a jolly crew o' pro-life nuns who've bested the landlubbers o' New York, keepin' 'em at bay! We lend a hand to lasses who dread sailin' solo, fearin' abandonement. Ahoy, victory be ours!
November 18, 2023, 9:00 am
Avast ye! I be no prude, aye, and I've been known to let out a few "naughty words" upon occasion. Yet, it seems the very walls that once guarded against foul speech in good company have met their untimely demise, with naught a whisper. Arr!
November 18, 2023, 7:00 am
Avast ye! As we be spyin' 'cross the vast seas of social media, we be seein' many young lads and lasses in dire straits. Here be where they be betrayed, mateys, and how they can turn the tide in their favor!
November 17, 2023, 1:00 pm
Arrr, me hearties! The livin' be takin' a nosedive in them Democrat-infested ports o' call, like New York. Aye, tis a sorry sight indeed! Their quality o' life be sinkin' faster than a treasure-laden ship!
November 17, 2023, 9:07 am
Avast, ye scurvy dogs! Set yer eyes on the Fox News Opinion, and feast yer peepers on the moving pictures o' Sean Hannity, Raymond Arroyo, and their sorry lot!
November 17, 2023, 4:00 am
Arrr, the 33rd flick in thar Marvel picture saga be finally out, and by Davy Jones' locker, it be sufferin' from the feeblest start ever seen! Ye scallywags best beware, for this be no treasure worth seekin'!
November 17, 2023, 4:00 am
Arrr! The landlubbers o' the US mustn't bow to Iran, nor be lured by Biden's soft approach! We need a clever 4-pronged plan to scuttle the world's top sponsor of terror!
November 17, 2023, 4:00 am
Arr, be ye lookin' at Seattle, a scurvy example of what's amiss with the Democrat-run havens. The landlubbers voted aye to burdensome taxes, all for their precious leftist policies. Now they be scratchin' their heads wonderin' why things be gettin' worse. Aye, ye reap what ye sow!
November 17, 2023, 1:00 am
Arr, ye scurvy knaves! Counterfeit potions be a plague upon millions of landlubbing Americans. These foul imitations, cunningly crafted to resemble lawful elixirs, be oft infused with deadly doses of fentanyl, ready to send ye to Davy Jones' locker! Beware, ye scallywags!
November 16, 2023, 1:00 pm
Arrr! The scoundrel, Michael Cohen, hath been accused, yet again, of spewin' falsehoods whilst under oath! Will he be spared from the clutches of the law? Let the tides decide, me hearties...
November 16, 2023, 4:00 am
Arrr, mateys! Gov. Newsom, the scallywag, confessed this week that he swabbed the decks of San Francisco 'cause fancy-pants global leaders be visitin'! Aye, this be but a single instance of where his loyalties lie. Arrr!
November 16, 2023, 4:00 am
Arrr, me hearties! The landlubbers from America were mighty flabbergasted to find them college scallywags supportin' the vile act o' genocide. But aye, 'tis no surprise, for these brainwashed whippersnappers have been fed naught but bilge and tales of falsehood by the very institutions they attend.
November 16, 2023, 1:00 am
Arrr, me hearties! The dread of inflation be weighin' heavy on the grand American economy. Like a cursed storm cloud, it be loomin' large, ready to plunder our treasures. Avast ye, we be in dire need of a scallywag with a plan!
November 15, 2023, 10:37 pm
Arr, ye scallywags on the 'Gutfeld!' panel be prattlin' 'bout why this landlubber Newsom be makin' San Francisco a place ye'd actually fancy dwellin' in. Aye, me hearties, 'tis a puzzler!
November 15, 2023, 1:00 pm
Yarrr! A scurvy bunch o' landlubber Republicans be, knowin' better but swashbucklin' in folly nonetheless! Avast ye, mateys, me hearty advice be to steer clear o' their shenanigans, lest ye be caught in their political maelstrom!
November 15, 2023, 7:00 am
Avast ye scurvy landlubbers! If we be not reckonin' with our national debt, the wee ones to come shall be burdened with a monstrous calamity - a tax rate so high, tis a hundred doubloons on every piece o' gold fer the simplest o' services. Shiver me timbers!
November 15, 2023, 4:00 am
Arr, it be said that President Joe Biden be settin' sail to meet the likes o' China's Xi Jinping in San Francisco this week. Aye, there be a multitude o' crucial matters to be discussed, but alas, the odds be as tiny as a flea on a barnacle that they shall be addressed.
November 15, 2023, 4:00 am
Avast, ye mateys! The tale of the 'scallywag vs. scurvy dog' be as old as the Davy Jones' locker. 'Tis been growin' like barnacles on these American campuses, causin' quite the commotion. Aye, the protests be a sight to behold!
November 15, 2023, 4:00 am
Arr, ye scurvy dogs! I reckon that the Middle Kingdom hath engaged in a thunderous 180 interferences with American airships since th' autumn of 2021, as stated by a freshly unleashed Pentagon yearly reckonin'.
November 15, 2023, 1:00 am
Avast ye mateys! All the evidence 'bout the Biden scurvy family's money-making schemes be tellin' tales that President Joe Biden be a blabberin' liar to the fine public. Arrr!
November 14, 2023, 1:00 pm
Come January 19, 2024, ye hearty pro-life swashbucklers be settin' sail on the National Mall, ready to march fer the wee ones and their mamas on the very streets of Washington, D.C. Avast, me hearties!
November 14, 2023, 8:35 am
Avast ye maties! Lay yer eyes upon the most recent word from Fox News Opinion, and feast yer eyes upon the videos of Sean Hannity, Raymond Arroyo, and other jolly scallywags!
November 14, 2023, 7:00 am
Arr, America's triumph be nay but a wee bit o' luck! The fine lads 'n lasses who sailed afore us, with their stout hearts 'n clever minds, be the reason this great land be flourishin'! Yo ho ho!
November 14, 2023, 4:00 am
Avast ye scurvy dogs! The noble King Charles be a grand captain, keepin' the ancient ways whilst embracin' the present tide. Methinks his triumph be crystal clear in the latest pollin' reckonin'.
November 14, 2023, 4:00 am
Arrr, matey! Come Wednesday, President Biden and China's Xi Jinping shall cross swords in San Francisco. Methinks the U.S. be havin' the advantage, but mark ye me words, Biden may be more akin to a landlubber than a fierce buccaneer, bendin' the knee instead o' takin' charge.
November 14, 2023, 4:00 am
Arrr! The likes o' China spy Russia in Ukraine 'n Iran meddlin' in Israel, addin' woes 'n troubles fer the U.S. 'Tis makin' shiftin' focus to Asia a mighty hard task, aye!
November 14, 2023, 1:00 am
Arr, me hearties! As Spider-Man be knowin', great power be bringin' great responsibility. Yet, it seems that scallywags be not takin' this to heart when it comes to AI. With mighty tools at everyone's disposal, there be sure to be no shortage o' misuse and mischief.
November 13, 2023, 4:00 am
Arrrgh, mateys! We landlubbers be knowin' full well the terror o' them 9/11 assaults. Thus, we scallywags be reckonin' that Israel must best those scurvy dogs o' Hamas. Any callin' for a truce be either a simpleton or a bilge rat!
November 13, 2023, 4:00 am
Arrr! Them scurvy Republicans be clueless 'bout how the Biden scallywags be usin' the federal government to gain the upper hand in elections. The GOP be needin' to set their sights on thwartin' this abuse o' power, lest they walk the plank!
November 13, 2023, 4:00 am
Avast, me hearties! Biden's blunderin' China policy be sailin' on a treacherous course, anchored on a calamitous notion that be doomed for failure. Instead o' takin' a stand against our rival, this administration be causin' harm to us regular folks. Arrr!
November 13, 2023, 1:00 am
Avast ye scurvy critics! Whilst ye be squawkin' 'bout the foulness o' AI, let it be known that this here contraption might just save our young'uns from dark and wicked online peril! Aye, it'll keep 'em far from treacherous and offensive content, mark me words!
November 11, 2023, 9:00 am
On this fine Veterans Day, ye must remember the tale of a brave seafarer! A true legend, he be, for he be shot thrice and made half-dead, yet still fought on. With his loyal crew, he be carried amidst the chaos, tending to the wounded souls. Aye, a tale of courage and determination, me hearties!
November 11, 2023, 7:00 am
Avast ye, matey! 'Tis a bitter pill to swallow, but beware, time be sailin' swiftly, makin' ye older by the day. Do ye find yerself drownin' in sorrow 'stead o' joy? Fear not, for I've got me trusty advice to share, just fer ye!
November 11, 2023, 6:00 am
Arr matey, I reckon ye olde sea dogs feel like landlubbers in yer own land. Hear ye me words this Veterans Day, me hearties!
November 10, 2023, 10:00 am
Avast ye scallywags! Plunder the knowledge o' Fox News Opinion, feast yer eyes on the videos o' Sean Hannity, Raymond Arroyo, and other mateys! Sail on the sea o' information, savvy?
November 9, 2023, 4:00 am
Arrr, avast ye scurvy dogs! Hamas, the treacherous scallywags, be hidin' their terror assets within the U.N. territories. Methinks they may even be on the U.N. payroll, aye! And ye know what? The U.N.'s refugee agency be turnin' them poor Palestinians into hatin' Israel and the noble Jews! Blimey!
November 9, 2023, 4:00 am
Arr, me hearties! This here President Biden, he be possessin' mighty military might in them Middle East waters, yet he be settin' sail on a treacherous course! He be needin' to steer them assets in a smarter direction, lest he be walkin' the plank!
November 9, 2023, 4:00 am
There be a mighty tempest brewin' in the Middle East, yet President Joe Biden be stuck in his ways 'bout them fossil fuels. His latest maneuver be a cause fer worry, me hearties!
November 9, 2023, 1:00 am
Arrr, ye scurvy dogs of the United Auto Workers be deservin' more than this sorry excuse o' a "victory." Their union be makin' 'em clash with their employers, and worse, with their own bloomin' success.
November 3, 2023, 4:00 am
Arrr, ye scurvy dogs! Avast, forsooth! Hamas, the dreadful knaves, be launchin' their vile attacks in Israel, garnerin' support from all corners of the globe. From bustling city streets to learned halls, the masses be raisin' their voices. 'Tis a timely reminder, me hearties, that all democracies be plagued with peril.
November 3, 2023, 4:00 am
Avast! Ye President Biden and them climate activists be tryin' to force us to walk the plank! They be sayin' we must surrender our carbon treasures or be doomed to a watery grave. But methinks, 'tis a load of bilge! There be other options, me hearties!
November 3, 2023, 4:00 am
Avast ye! Beatin' the scurvy Russian, Chinese, 'n Iranian scallywags be requirin' puttin' an end to their ill-gotten gains from sanctions loopholes, subsidies, investments, 'n other booty. Slay their economic support, mateys!
November 3, 2023, 1:00 am
Avast ye landlubbers! 'Twas a grand alliance betwixt the learned American matey, Booker T. Washington, and the stout Teddy Roosevelt. Their bond be so strong, 'twas a tidal wave o' change fer the good ol' U.S. o' A! Arrr!
October 27, 2023, 1:00 pm
Arrr, me hearties! The lack o' moral compass shown in America after the October 7 scurvy blaggard attacks by Hamas upon Israel be most disheartenin'. The shenanigans goin' on in them college halls be a sight to behold, indeed!
October 27, 2023, 9:26 am
Avast! Feast yer eyes upon the finest tales from Fox News Opinion, whilst ye view the moving pictures of Sean Hannity, Raymond Arroyo, and their merry band.
October 27, 2023, 7:00 am
Arr, as a landlubber from the Democrat and Republican crew, we did rendezvous with China's Xi Jinping, and gave him a stern warning to be dealin' with the foul fentanyl and fair trade matters. The good people of America be standin' together, united against the wickedness that plagues our world.
October 27, 2023, 4:00 am
Arrr, ye scurvy dog! President Biden be tryin' to use the ol' Hamas attack on Israel to save his Ukraine policy, which be sailin' in troubled waters, lest Congress be takin' away its gold!
October 27, 2023, 4:00 am
Avast ye scurvy dog! Biden be sendin' 20,000 landlubber climate activists with his Climate Corps. But 'tis done with a quill, not the blessin' o' Congress, and he be makin' ye empty yer pocket fer it. Arrr!
October 27, 2023, 4:00 am
Arrr, 'tis not a mere clash betwixt Israel and those scallywags of Hamas! Nay, 'tis Iran's dastardly war upon Israel, usin' sneaky proxy dogs who be disturbin' our brave U.S. troops in these treacherous waters of the region. Aye, 'tis a tale of mischief and villainy, mateys!
October 27, 2023, 1:00 am
Ibram X. Kendi's scallywag brand of anti-racism be wreakin' havoc on real medicine, puttin' patients in peril, says I. The CDC be part o' the trouble, claimin' racism be a 'fundamental' cause o' 'inequities'. Har har, it be a right barnacle on the ship o' sanity!
October 22, 2023, 9:00 am
Avast ye, mateys! Feast yer eyes on the freshest scrawlin's from Fox News Opinion, and lay yer peepers on the moving pictures of Sean Hannity, Raymond Arroyo, and the whole jolly crew!
October 22, 2023, 9:00 am
Arr, me comely lass and I had a grand quarrel at our nuptial gathering, shiver me timbers! 'Twas a right spectacle, ye see. Yet, me hearties, even if ye be keepin' yer troubles secret, ye still be needin' some aid to mend yer love ship.
October 22, 2023, 7:00 am
Avast ye scallywags! Methinks the former scurvy Speaker Kevin McCarthy was given the ol' heave-ho over two fortnights past. But blimey, why ain't them Republicans managed to fill his shoes? I'll tell ye this, matey, the truth be more mystic than the fabled treasure of El Dorado!
October 21, 2023, 9:00 am
Avast ye scurvy dogs! 'Tis a tale of woe, for when faced with troubles, we be quick to seek solace in foul vices. But, fear not, me hearties! In this yarn from the World War the Second, we be findin' a different path to tread.
October 21, 2023, 7:00 am
Avast ye scurvy dogs! Every newfangled generation reckons they be the bee's knees, but havin' a thinkin' cap won't do ye no good if ye don't know how to use it. That be why wisdom be key, me hearties. Allow me to bestow some upon ye.
October 20, 2023, 1:00 pm
Avast! All eyes be upon Iran and its scallywag crew, Hezbollah, as the battle betwixt Israel and Hamas be heating up. Arr! Be ye reckonin' this bunch o' landlubbers from Lebanon be joinin' the fray against Israel, aye?
October 20, 2023, 1:00 pm
Avast ye scallywags! A mere two Hamas prisoners set free be not sufficient! Nay, we must gather 'em all back into our fold. With Israel's attention elsewhere and diplomacy at its wits' end, methinks the US must consider a swashbucklin' military endeavor to rescue our comrades in distress. Arrr!
October 20, 2023, 12:09 pm
Arr, me mateys! President Biden, he be a-speakin' to the land lubbers on Thursday, straight from the sacred confines of the Oval Office! He be yammerin' 'bout supportin' Israel and Ukraine, but ye know what be makin' it grand? There be some special touch missin' from most o' these speeches, me hearties!
October 20, 2023, 9:00 am
Avast ye! Lay yer eyes on the latest from Fox News Opinion, mateys! And feast yer peepers on the videos of Sean Hannity, Raymond Arroyo, and other scallywags. Arrr!
October 20, 2023, 7:00 am
Arrr, me mateys! Britney Spears hath revealed a jolly personal tale from her very own life, me hearties!
October 20, 2023, 4:00 am
Avast ye scurvy dogs! Let the treacherous sponsors of terrorism, like the cursed landlubber Iran, be made to pay for their misdeeds – aye, with their very gold! The good ol' US has laws aplenty, granting victims the power to sue, and thus, seek a wee bit o' justice for the crimes o' Hamas. Arrr!
October 20, 2023, 4:00 am
Avast ye, me hearties! The sad tale unravelin' in Israel be a stark reminder of the treacherous waters we sail on these 'ere college shores. Aye, danger lurks in every corner, threatenin' both our bodies and the pursuit of true knowledge!
October 20, 2023, 4:00 am
Avast ye, me hearties! Them counterterrorism dogs be needin' to quell them Islamist scallywags, just like they did post 9/11. 'Tis high time the law enforcement shifts focus from these 'homegrown violent extremists' and sets sail to tackle fresh perils on the horizon, arrr!
October 20, 2023, 1:00 am
Arr, word spread last week that some scurvy dog in California acquired the victorious Powerball parchment! But, avast ye, whilst the scallywag remains a mystery, it be the taxpayers who may soon be walkin' the plank, arr!
October 19, 2023, 1:00 pm
Arrr, ever since the dastardly attacks by the scurvy Hamas on October 7, Harvard finds itself in a mighty pickle. Aye, thirty-three bands o' young rascals be blamin' Israel for this terror! Blimey, how on earth did we end up in this quagmire?
October 19, 2023, 7:00 am
Arr, me hearties! Know ye this, that education be a treasure as valuable as gold in the life of a wee scallywag. 'Tis the wind in their sails, steerin' their course to greatness. So, ye landlubbers, make sure ye give 'em a proper learnin'!
October 19, 2023, 4:00 am
On yonder social galleon, me hearties be claimin' I were a lad captured in a lass's hull! Argh, I started t' believe 'em! Decided I be a lad, needin' a body filled with ladness, else life be as worthless as a sunken treasure!
October 19, 2023, 4:00 am
Arr, scurvy dog researchers at The Heartland Institute didst delve into the ESG policy platform fer almost all o' the presidential scoundrels, arr!
October 19, 2023, 4:00 am
Arrr, matey! In thar past half a century, Hollywood be sailin' from supportin' Israel, makin' flicks 'bout bravery 'gainst terror, to becomin' a grand critic o' thar Jewish State. Aye, tis a twist worthy o' a tale, arrr!
October 19, 2023, 1:00 am
Avast ye scurvy dogs! The arrival o' AI tools like WormGPT and FraudGPT be a fierce wake-up call, mateys! They be a clear warnin' of the perilous dangers that be lurkin' in the realm o' AI. We best be takin' swift action, lest we be walkin' the plank!
October 18, 2023, 4:00 am
Arrr, me hearties! The Pregnant Workers Fairness Act be a sly beast, claimin' to be helpin' fair maidens in the workplace, but beware! Methinks it be a trickster, forcin' employers to bend to the whims of all sorts, not just the ones carryin' a wee pirate in their bellies!
October 18, 2023, 4:00 am
Avast ye! Since the Oct. 7 blimey Hamas attacks in Israel, ye landlubbers have witnessed the hullabaloo happenin' on college campuses. Ye scallywags have glimpsed the sheer wrongness that be plaguin' our fancy elite universities. Arrr!
October 18, 2023, 4:00 am
Avast ye mateys! Back in the day, when I be tellin' tales o' the second intifada, the cursed scallywags preferred suicide bombings as their weapon o' choice. A grand total o' 138 o' these devilish acts, they be, takin' the lives o' more than a thousand brave Israeli souls.
October 18, 2023, 1:00 am
Arrr, me hearties! The current financial position of the U.S. be naught but a ship leakin' gold faster than ye can say "pieces of eight!" It be a situation as precarious as a peg-legged sailor tryin' to dance a jig on a wavering plank.
October 16, 2023, 4:00 am
Arrr, ye scurvy dogs be wantin' to create a mighty generational divide betwixt Israel and them Arabs, and drive a cursed wedge betwixt the US and them Gulf states! Here be what the US must do to lend a hand to Israel in their battle 'gainst the rascally scallywags of Hamas, mateys!
October 16, 2023, 4:00 am
Arrr, ye see, this scurvy dog Capt. Sobel be a subject of much debate among ye landlubbers! Some be claimin' he be naught but a bumbling fool, yet 'twas he who whipped Easy Company into a crew o' stars! Actor David Schwimmer played this bewilderin' character, makin' quite the ruckus, savvy?
October 16, 2023, 4:00 am
Arrr! Methinks Biden be a scallywag, leadin' us into a $6 billion mishap in the Middle East by cozyin' up to Iran. The lily-livered President be unfreezin' $10 billion more of their treasures, aidin' 'em in earnin' a mighty $80 billion in oil riches! Aye, what a jolly mess he's made!
October 16, 2023, 1:00 am
Avast ye hearties! Whilst a dreadful sea of destruction akin to the fires of hell be not nigh, the use of AI in the art of war be sure to give it a fearsome kick! Brace yerselves, for battles becometh deadlier, fiercer – and a grand competition, it be!
October 15, 2023, 11:00 am
Arrr, me hearties! The scurvy dogs of Hamas be unleashing a fearful onslaught on the seventh day of October, aye! Since then, we be strugglin' to look away from the blimey news. Avast, me maties! How be we dealin' with this frightful spectacle?
October 15, 2023, 9:00 am
Arr, mateys! Belay yer eyes on these treacherous Hamas scoundrels, blackening our screens and scrolls! But worry not, me hearties! Tend to yer own well-being by seekin' comradeship and discoverin' purpose in this vast sea of existence!
October 15, 2023, 7:00 am
To reckon that country music be "too loyal" be to not grasp the essence o' country music, matey! Our melodies be penned with deep affection fer our land, with our very souls beatin' fer America! Yo-ho-ho!
October 15, 2023, 6:00 am
Arrr, mateys! Blimey, the Hamas scallywags be causin' terror in fair Israel, bringin' naught but sorrow to this 'ere world! But, amidst this sea o' doom, aye, a miracle be found. 'Twas a glimmer o' hope in a sea o' darkness!
October 14, 2023, 11:00 am
Arrr, 'tis been a week since the world beheld the fearsome onslaught of the Hamas upon Israel on the seventh of October. 'Tis a grand privilege, bein' a scribe chroniclin' this tale, but methinks 'tis also a burden weighin' heavy on me soul.
October 14, 2023, 9:00 am
Avast ye scurvy dogs! The likes of AMC hath struck a grand accord with the fair maiden Taylor Swift. 'Tis a dream come true for this theater chain, as the Swifties and their beloved star may very well transform the realm of music and moving pictures. Arrr, buckle up, mateys!
October 14, 2023, 7:00 am
Arrr, upon the vicious assault by the scurvy knaves of Hamas on the innocent souls of Israel, the merry band o' Progressive Democrats and Palestinians, seekin' a better life in this fair land, did venture forth upon the streets, a-dancin' and a-celebratin' like true pirates of the Caribbean!
October 13, 2023, 10:00 am
Avast ye mateys! Lay yer eyes upon the freshest tales from Fox News Opinion! Feast yer peepers on the moving pictures of Sean Hannity, Raymond Arroyo, and other scallywags, if ye dare!
October 13, 2023, 7:00 am
Arr, these here fancy pants diversity officers be bringin' naught but harm to the young scallywags they claim to aid. The test scores speak true, mateys! Our minority students be sufferin' more in them districts plagued by these bureaucratic landlubbers pushin' their own fancy agendas!
October 13, 2023, 4:00 am
Avast, ye scurvy dogs! 'Twas a sight to behold! The Jew-hatin' ways o' them Democratic landlubbers on the pro-Palestinian ship, clear as day after Saturday's pirate-like attacks from them Israeli scoundrels!
October 13, 2023, 4:00 am
Avast ye scurvy scoundrels! If these villainous acts by Hamas be truly intentional and fer the public's eyes, we must ponder - why be they doin' it? What be their grand scheme, aimin' to achieve wit' these treacherous tactics?
October 13, 2023, 4:00 am
Arrr! Our brave lad, merely of 21 springs, hath assisted in savin' a score o' souls durin' the vicious onslaught o' the treacherous Hamas on October the 7th. But alas! Our kin hath now suffered the cruelest blow, as our boy be taken from us, with wounds that be incurable.
October 13, 2023, 1:00 am
Arr, mark me words, matey! The Tennessee trans law be constitutional, aye, and be needful too! The scurvy left be unable to stomach the truth, that near 90% of wee trans lads and lasses keep to their original gender as grown buccaneers.
October 12, 2023, 1:00 pm
Arrr, the scurvy dogs o' Hamas be wagin' war 'pon Israel, and alas, 'tis not the only ill wind blowin'! Fer it hath stirred up the blaggard known as antisemitism, spreadin' like a plague across the seven seas!
October 12, 2023, 7:00 am
Arrr mateys, our bloated national debt be sailin' at a mighty sum of over 33 trillion doubloons, and it be risin' faster than a plank-walkin' scallywag. 'Tis high time them landlubber Congress takes charge o' this perilous menace to our national security, lest we all end up in Davy Jones' locker!
October 12, 2023, 4:00 am
Arr, me mateys! This very year, Florida be embracin' the Classic Learnin' Test (CLT) as a grand alternative to SAT and ACT, by Blackbeard's breeches! 'Tis the cure we be seekin' to save our sinkin' education system, ye scurvy dogs!
October 12, 2023, 4:00 am
Arr matey! We be knowin' the secret to aidin' Israel in triumph, but alas, this battle be no swift sail - reckon it'll be months 'n many a scallywag shall condemn Israel. Will Cap'n Biden 'n the Congress show the mettle needed for this grand quest, says ye?
October 12, 2023, 4:00 am
Arrr, me heart be heavy as the tides with worry, for me 19-year-old niece be gone, a rare jewel lost to the chaos of the Hamas attacks in Israel. This be me kin's tale, but fret ye not, for in this vast land, there be countless families sailin' the same turbulent seas.
October 12, 2023, 1:00 am
Avast ye mateys! Ol' Joe Biden, with his fancy energy policies, be helpin' our foes in their war against Israel. He be fundin' those scurvy dogs, makin' things mighty difficult for our mates! Arrr, what a ruckus!
October 11, 2023, 9:18 am
Arr! Cap'n Biden finally spoke to the landlubbers 'bout the scurvy dog Hamas' blaggardly deeds, but, by Davy Jones' locker, he turned a blind eye to four grand troubles! Avast, me hearties!
October 11, 2023, 7:00 am
Arr, me hearties! The House o' Representatives be seein' the first oustin' o' its Speaker, aye! A mighty rumble be brewin' in them hallowed halls, shiver me timbers!
October 11, 2023, 4:00 am
Avast ye scurvy dogs! Methinks the vile attacks on Israel by Hamas on the Sabbath be a rude awakening fer the world. The world must grasp the verity 'bout these scoundrels! Here be what needs t' be done next, me hearties!
October 11, 2023, 4:00 am
Arr, me hearties! Yonder issue be a battle for all ye mums and dads! When a wee lad or lass be swayed by this gender confusion blather in our schools and on social media, the poor parents be cast as vile villains. Aye, 'tis a treacherous sea we sail upon, me mateys!
October 11, 2023, 4:00 am
Arr, ye scurvy dogs! Aye, beware the treacherous Inflation Reduction Act! Them Bidenites be yammerin' 'bout this Medicare drug price "negotiation," but mark me words, it be a perilous path that'll harm the health of all!
October 11, 2023, 1:00 am
Arrr, ye scurvy dog! Robert F. Kennedy Jr., a former Democratic matey, hath announced his plan to sail solo as an independent candidate. Beware, Biden! This lad's bid for the White House may be a grand menace to yer dreams of power!
October 10, 2023, 9:00 am
Avast ye scallywags! Set yer sights on the newest tidings from Fox News Opinion, and feast yer eyes on the visual tales spun by the likes of Sean Hannity, Raymond Arroyo, and their merry crew! Yarr!
October 10, 2023, 7:00 am
Arr, me hearties! Steve Scalise be facin' quite a challenge, aye, as he battles this fearsome scourge that be cancer. May the wind be at his back as he sails through his treatment, and may the sea o' recovery be calm and clear!
October 10, 2023, 4:00 am
Avast ye scallywags! 'Tis be vital to take a merry step back 'n see what the blasted blunderbusses of Hamas be schemin' 'gainst Israel. Arrr, what be their devilish plan for the future, I ask ye?
October 10, 2023, 4:00 am
Arrr! That Janet Yellen, may she walk the plank! She be sittin' high and mighty as the Federal Reserve chair and now as secretary of the Treasury, but she be havin' no idea about the struggles of us common folk and our pitiful finances. Blimey!
October 10, 2023, 4:00 am
Arr, every scurvy dog o' a parent needs to set sail for Genderland afore their young buccaneers, and take a good look at the strange sights. Be prepared, mateys, for ye be findin' a land as confusin' as a compass gone mad!
October 10, 2023, 1:00 am
Arrr, matey! How do ye seasoned sailors fit in this tale o' rapid AI advancement? Fear not, for each experienced buccaneer becometh even more precious to a sturdy American economy!
October 9, 2023, 4:00 am
Avast ye scallywags! Biden be makin' a laughable attempt to censor speakin' upon the digital seas by declarin' Microsoft's Bing search engine as a "public utility" ye can't escape. Aye, 'tis a fate ye be forced to accept, me hearties!
October 9, 2023, 4:00 am
Arrr! Homeland Security Secretary Mayorkas be well aware that the Rio Grande Valley Sector be a prime target fer scurvy dogs seekin' illegal entry. But alas! Team Biden be naught but a bunch o' landlubbers fiddlin' with mere appearances!
October 9, 2023, 4:00 am
Arrr, me hearties! We be ceasin' our villainous exploits by discoverin' mutual turf on the treacherous lanes of grand cities. Aye, there be a need fer agreeable resolutions to dire concerns like the nefarious fentanyl!
October 9, 2023, 1:00 am
Collaboratin' with scallywags like China? Nay, mateys! 'Tis but lendin' power to the Chinese Communist Party (CCP) to scrawl the code o' conduct for AI. Avast! We don't be wantin' Beijing takin' the wheel, arrr!
October 3, 2023, 4:00 am
Arrr, mateys! This blasted war in Ukraine be drivin' them lawmakers and landlubbers in Washington mad! They be sayin' it'll go on fer six to seven long years, argh! But I be wonderin', what be the grand plan in all this chaos?
October 3, 2023, 4:00 am
Arrr, as a fine crew, we be growin' older, but beware, ye scallywags! Our sprightly culture be in fer a reckonin' on how to sail this here transition, savvy?
October 3, 2023, 1:00 am
Arr, in the year o' 2023, OpenAI be tellin' us that a grand majority of the scurvy dogs workin' in the U.S. could see a good 10% o' their jobs bein' swayed by this newfangled contraption called GPT. Aye, tis a curious development, me hearties!
October 2, 2023, 10:30 pm
Arrr, me mateys! On 'Gutfeld!', there be a rousing debate betwixt FOX News host Greg Gutfeld and his crew o' panelists, delvin' into the wise words o' philosopher Sam Harris 'bout political norms. Aye, 'twas a jolly good time indeed!
September 30, 2023, 9:00 am
Arr, I've been a thespian fer four decades now, but me next venture be holdin' great weight. Methinks I've witnessed the dastardly Marxism sneak into our very existence. Me part in 'Reagan' be a stern cautionary tale, ye scallywags!
September 30, 2023, 7:00 am
Avast ye scurvy dogs! T'was a time when we were plagued by a monstrous beast called student loan debt, a mighty sum of $500K. But fear ye not, for here be our tale of triumph! Listen closely, me hearties, for if ye wish to be the hero of yer own debt story, ye must heed this advice, lest ye be doomed to Davy Jones' locker!
September 30, 2023, 6:00 am
Arr, mateys! In the year 2024, ye shall witness the grand spectacle of Taylor Swift's Eras Tour, part deux! With her vast multitude o' fans, tis likely the lass be yearnin' to blend this here affair with Eras 2.0! Aye, 'twill be a sight to behold!
September 29, 2023, 1:00 pm
Avast, ye landlubbers! These climate extremists be quakin' in their boots, fearin' a good ol' debate. Methinks they be havin' plenty o' questions they be avoidin', but fear not, for over 1,600 brave scientists be ready to challenge their tall tales!
September 29, 2023, 7:00 am
Avast ye landlubbers! Each scallywag be worthy o' learnin'! Bring education liberty to all me hearties, grantin' parents greater sway with this fine school pickin'. The doubloons must bless the young minds, not them school scallywags!
September 29, 2023, 5:47 am
Avast ye, mateys! Set yer eyes on the latest scrawlin's from Fox News Opinion, and feast yer peepers on videos of Sean Hannity, Raymond Arroyo, and a crew of scallywags. Give it a gander, or ye'll be walkin' the plank!
September 29, 2023, 4:00 am
Arr, me hearties! Most yon Americans be not sure how this government shutdown be affectin' their lives, aye. Here be some vital points on how these scurvy things work, and how Washington be makin' 'em worse, arr!
September 28, 2023, 4:00 am
Arr, methinks the U.S. military be needin' to be a stout fort o' might and purpose, but 'tis now caught in a cursed web o' bureaucracy, political meddling, and a lack o' clear aim. Avast, the winds o' change be blowin', mateys!
September 28, 2023, 4:00 am
Arrr! Avast, me hearties! Aye, a recent study be claimin' that them city and state policies what be promotin' growth have a mighty impact on where folks choose to reside and where businesses choose to drop anchor. Yo ho ho, 'tis a fact, mateys!
September 28, 2023, 4:00 am
Arrr, ye scurvy lawsuits be but a glimpse o' the mighty tide turnin' against the Big Tech scallywags! A resurgent wave o' populism be sweepin' across the globe, makin' 'em tremble in their digital boots. Hoist the Jolly Roger, me hearties, for justice be 'pon us!
September 28, 2023, 12:56 am
Arrr! Seven scallywags did gather on the grand stage for the second Republican debate on Wednesday eve. A mighty clash of words ensued, as the event unfolded at the Reagan Library in fair Simi Valley, California. Sparks did fly, me hearties!
September 22, 2023, 4:00 am
Arr, ye scurvy Americans be joinin' the UAW and meself to give those rapscallion corporate greedsters a taste o' our cannons! The bloomin' CEOs be fillin' their coffers while the honest autoworkers be scrapin' the barnacles. It be high time for a change, mateys!
September 22, 2023, 4:00 am
Arr! Biden be a scurvy landlubber tryin' to plunder America's huntin' and fishin' way o' life, all to please them scallywags on the radical left! He be employin' the might o' government to scuttle archery programs, lead ammunition, and whatnot, arrr!
September 22, 2023, 4:00 am
Arr, mateys! We be needin' to reckon wit' Biden, holdin' him to account fer the shattered border! Aye, let's be commencin' by bringin' forth a mutiny against DHS Secretary Mayorkas, who be sailin' in the treacherous waters o' our unlawful immigration storm!
September 22, 2023, 1:00 am
Avast ye mateys! 3 things to savvy how AI might aid in the creation of new, purse-friendly remedies. Methinks the success of this artificial intelligence won't be swift, but our industry be well-poised for victory! Arrr!
September 20, 2023, 4:00 am
Arr, the scurvy dogs of the Biden administration be makin' a deal with them pesky activists, lockin' away millions o' acres in the Gulf o' Mexico from oil and gas plunderin'! And they be addin' vessel restrictions to make it even harder for us pirates to sail those treacherous waters!
September 20, 2023, 4:00 am
Avast ye scallywags! Afore Sen. Fetterman's advent in the Senate, all knew well how to don their garb fit for the occasion. Nay were the need for instructions on bestowin' due reverence upon this grand establishment, by thunder!
September 20, 2023, 4:00 am
Arrr, ye scurvy dogs! Them Americans be facin' a bloomin' inflation, the likes o' which haven't been seen in four decades. 'Tis all 'cause o' a mishmash o' monetary, fiscal, and other government policies, makin' their gold pieces worth less than a rotten fish!
September 20, 2023, 1:00 am
Arr, me mateys! 'Tis a tale o' Hispanic Americans growin' weary o' the Democratic Party 'n Captain Biden's guidin'. They be seekin' solace in t' Republican Party, 'n here be why, me hearties!
September 19, 2023, 4:00 am
Avast ye, mateys! Aforementioned scallywag, a former prosecutor, be mighty vexed watchin' the DOJ stumble about like a landlubber on a five-year quest, all while starin' at undeniable proof o' scurvy corruption and dastardly criminal deeds. Arrr!
September 19, 2023, 4:00 am
Avast, ye scurvy dogs! Mitt Romney be sayin' he won't sail the political seas no more, arr! And now, a whole decade later, the media be throwin' a jolly celebration for the very same landlubber they once attacked, har har!
September 19, 2023, 4:00 am
Arr, me commonsense bill be protectin' Montana's ancient n' proud tradition o' educatin' our young scalawags 'bout the weighty matter o' responsible gun wieldin' and huntin'.
September 19, 2023, 1:00 am
Arrr, me hearties! Thar be a tale o' Virginia Democrat Gibson, a fine lass who be a wife and mother. Now, she be seekin' a seat in the House o' Delegates, yet scallywags be accusin' her o' streamin' saucy acts online fer some doubloons. Be she a victim o' them sex crimes, or be it a pirate's yarn spun by scurvy dogs?
September 18, 2023, 5:00 am
Arrr! Hear me now, mateys! The land of Russia be sendin' their scurvy spies to sneak into US society. Them fancy analysts claim that while Washington be tightenin' its grip since the Soviet Union's downfall, Moscow be still sendin' their lot!
September 18, 2023, 3:00 am
The days of Ukraine's endless treasure from Congress be long gone, matey! America be showering 'em with more military aid than all of Europe combined. 'Tis now the time for NATO to step up! Arrr, the US be needing to guard its own borders, savvy?
September 18, 2023, 1:00 am
Arr, ye scurvy dogs! The biggest trouble fer America's blasted power grid be them foul Democrat policies! These renewable subsidies and mandates be muckin' about with the market, puttin' our trusty baseload power at risk, me hearties!
September 17, 2023, 9:00 am
Arr, me hearties! Aye, there be this newfangled craze sweepin' the digital seas, ye see? 'Tis known as a trend, makin' waves on social media, arr!
September 16, 2023, 9:00 am
Me and me wench be sailin' the high seas, bound fer the University of Colorado to unload me daughter as a newbie. But, by Davy Jones' beard! Aye, ye won't believe yer eyes, the most unspeakable catastrophe struck us!
September 16, 2023, 8:00 am
Arrr! The scurvy Democratic governor of New Mexico hath gone against her sworn oath to the constitution, me hearties! Now, ye landlubber progressives be keepin' an eye to see if she be gettin' away with it. Aye, the seas be treacherous indeed!
September 16, 2023, 7:00 am
Arr, me hearties! The land o' southeast United States be seein' a foul virus on the rise, causin' quite the worry. The CDC be issuin' a warnin' and the season o' ill winds be commencin' already, ye scurvy dogs!
September 15, 2023, 5:29 pm
Avast ye, mateys! Plunder thine eyes on the latest Fox News Opinion scrolls and feast upon the moving pictures of Jesse Watters, Sean Hannity, Greg Gutfeld, Laura Ingraham, and other scallywags! Set sail, me hearties, and be entertained!
September 15, 2023, 9:47 am
Avast ye mateys! Feast yer eyes on the finest tales from Fox News Opinion, and set yer sights on the grand spectacles of Sean Hannity, Raymond Arroyo, and other scallywags. Watch 'em videos and be entertained, me hearties!
September 15, 2023, 9:00 am
Arrr! The Congress be settin' sail to debate future booty fer Ukraine. A scallywag or two be havin' doubts, but extendin' a hand to Ukraine be bringin' us nearer to tranquility and lendin' the U.S. a jolly hand, matey!
September 15, 2023, 7:00 am