The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr, matey! Mike Johnson be worthy of another voyage in the House, savvy? Give 'im a treasure chest o' votes!

2024-10-25

Arrr, a year past when the landlubbers went bonkers ‘gainst Speaker Johnson, the House buccaneers ought to tip their hats to his mighty backbone, steady helm, and cunning wit! He be a true captain in these stormy seas of politics, savvy? Har har!

Ahoy, mateys! ‘Twas a year ago when the ruckus in the House o’ Representatives came to a close, and the scallywags beheld Mike Johnson as their new Captain, err, Speaker o’ the House! The leftists clutched their pearls like a maiden in distress, wailing over a true conservative in a high seat. They flung accusations like cannonballs, callin’ him “hard-right” and takin’ jabs at the ol’ glory he hung outside his quarters!

As ye may remember, the fine former Governor Bobby Jindal noted that it rattled the left to see a Speaker who actually shared the views of his crew—er, voters. Fast forward to today, and it be clear that Johnson be a sturdy sailor, navigatin’ through choppy waters with finesse. He’s championed individual freedom, tackled the storm of antisemitism, and even wrestled with the Department of Education like a true swashbuckler!

Our Speaker's also been mighty prudent with the coffers, slicin' away at Biden's overreach with the skill of a master swordsman, and keepin’ the government’s hands off our treasure. Though no captain be perfect, Johnson stands tall as a faithful patriot, ready to defend our shores and uphold our values. Aye, it be time for this hearty sailor to set sail again—re-elect Mike Johnson, me hearties!

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