The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Avast, ye scallywags! Ye won’t believe how Biden and Harris danced like drunken sea dogs when them drones came a-buzzin’!

2024-10-16

Avast, me hearties! On the seventh day of December in the year of our lord 2023, a mighty swarm o' drones, as long as a great sea serpent, took to the night skies 'bove the Air Combat Command, givin' the F-22 Raptors a real fright! Arrr!

Arrr matey! Gather 'round as I spin ye a yarn of a snooty Chinese spy balloon that sailed over our fair land in the year of our Lord 2023. The scallywags in charge, Biden and Harris, tried to keep it under wraps until two sharp-eyed landlubbers caught sight of it! The public be furious, and rightly so!

But that be just the beginning! The Wall Street Journal unveiled an even more outrageous tale of aerial mischief. Drones the size of galleons be flyin' over sacred military grounds, and our noble leaders be sittin' on their thumbs, arguin' like drunken pirates instead of takin' action. For 17 nights, these metal marauders harassed the good folk at Langley Air Force Base while the brass did naught but mumble and shuffle papers.

Instead of unleashing the full might of their cannons, the commanders be frozen in fear, heedless of their own orders! They be debating jamming and nets while the drones danced about like wayward buccaneers! The law be cited as a flimsy excuse, but in truth, it was the fear of makin' a mistake that tied 'em in knots!

Gone be the days of quick action, like the brave captain who sank a sneaky sub before Pearl Harbor. Now, we wallow in a sea of bureaucracy! The time be ripe for a change, lest we find ourselves at the mercy of these flying fiends! Yarrr!

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