The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

"Arrr, 'tis ne'er been Joe! At Carroll County fair, scallywags reckon Biden be just a figurehead, savvy?"

2024-07-29

Arrr, at the Carroll County fair, I crossed paths with a jolly lass named Marge. She be thinkin’ that ol' Biden hadn’t steered the ship of the USA for nigh on a year! Aye, the winds of her opinion be blowin’ from a distant shore, I reckon!

Ahoy, mateys! At the Carroll County 4-H Fair, surrounded by gleamin' classic vessels and mighty combines, I sought the barnacle-encrusted opinions of the local crew on whether ol' Captain Joe Biden still steers the ship of state. To me surprise, not a single sailor raised a hand! Arrr!

I parleyed with Marge, a sea-farin’ lass in her 60s, handin' out flags like a true patriot. With a hearty laugh, she declared, "Nay, he be lost at sea!" She reckoned it be about a year since he last manned the helm, and things be gettin’ worse by the tide. Mark and Bob, two farmer mates, chimed in, sayin’ Biden ne’er had the wheel, suggestin’ maybe it be a ghost ship captained by Obama or some dark cabal. Aye, the shadowy figures be at play!

Yet, among the ruckus, young Kim Klacik was makin’ waves like a stormy sea, eyein’ a vacant seat once held by a Democrat. And as I scanned the fair, the sea of Trump flags and meats made me wonder if I’d sailed into a pirate's cove! There were whispers of conspiracies, and folks seemed resigned to be ruled by a committee of scallywags. As I be leavin’, the kindness of a stranger reminded me, even in the wild seas, there be good souls to be found. Yarrr!

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