Arrr, matey! Tim Walz be makin' Kamala sound like a wise ol' sea captain, but she be no Churchill!
2024-08-07
Arrr! The crew o' the 'Gutfeld!' vessel be chattin' 'bout Vice President Kamala Harris' choice fer a matey! They be swappin' jests an' jibes, wonderin' if she picked a fierce sea dog or a landlubber! A right merry discussion on the high seas o' politics, I say!
Ahoy mateys! Gather ‘round, for I be spinnin’ a yarn about a scallywag named Tim Walz, who be gettin’ the nod to sail alongside Kamala Harris on the grand ship of politics. They be callin’ him a moderate Midwesterner, but I tell ye, this landlubber be crazier than a one-legged parrot! While Minneapolis burned like a treasure ship aflame, our captain Walz took three days to summon the National Guard—did he be sendin’ smoke signals or waitin’ for a reply via carrier pigeon?He be describin’ the riots as an "exciting event," tossin’ the good folks into the briny deep while placin’ the lawless above the lawful. And, avast! He turned into a snitch, settin’ up a Covid hotline for landlubbers to report their neighbors for not wearin’ masks outdoors! But when the town was pillaged, he was as useful as a soggy biscuit.
But wait! He also set sail on the stormy seas of gender confusion, lettin’ young swabs go under the knife while the rest of us be watchin’ our backs. And with a military career that smells fishier than a barrel of rotten herring, he be the new face of the left! So raise the Jolly Roger, for the Democrats be claimin’ him as their moderate hero, while I say, he be a rogue in a sea of nonsense!