The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr, me hearty! Melania Trump be spillin' her tale at last! Let’s lend an ear to her yarn, savvy?

2024-10-04

Arrr, as a scallywag adviser to Mrs. Trump in that grand ol' White House, I be havin’ me share o’ mischief! Many a tale spun by former crew members be more twisted than a sea serpent, if ye catch me drift! Blimey, what a jolly jest that be!

Ahoy, mateys! After two decades of camaraderie, I be thrilled that the fair Mrs. Trump be spillin' her tale in the soon-to-launch tome, "Melania." I can’t keep me mouth shut while scallywags with dollar signs in their eyes be throwin' darts at her character. The so-called hate-Trump media be naught but a treasure hunt fer gold, draggin' the good lady's name through the muck!

Now, Mrs. Trump, a lass of great strength and grace, be turnin' a deaf ear to the hateful din, savin' her energy for the most egregious attacks. As her loyal first mate, I’ve witnessed the truth firsthand, unlike the former crew members who’ve jumped ship, claimin' they know her well. One such traitor even be secretly recordin' private chats! Arrr!

As the release of "Melania" nears, expect the tempest to rise. But fear not, ye landlubbers! With this book, ye’ll finally glimpse the remarkable woman I be proud to call me friend. She’s championed causes like “Be Best” and “Fostering the Future,” yet the seas be silent on her triumphs. Remember, always question the tales ye hear, for they might just be the siren’s song leadin' ye astray! So, heed my words: "Consider the source!"

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