The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

"Arrr, David Marcus be sayin’: Project 2025 spins tales faster than a scallywag can don his breeches at Hershey!"

2024-09-22

Arrr, matey! Columnist David Marcus be chattin’ with landlubbers in Hershey and other wee hamlets 'bout this Project 2025. Some be wise to the truth, but many be swallowin' the tall tales spun by the scurvy press! Avast, 'tis a right merry misunderstanding!

Avast ye landlubbers! I be hearin’ whispers o’ a fearsome beast called Project 2025 lurkin’ in every nook and cranny as I sail through the seas of this election. Aye, they say the great Captain Trump be tied to it, but nay! 'Tis naught but a tall tale spun by the Democrats and their sniveling media mates!

In a quaint port town famous for its chocolaty treasures, I crossed paths with a retired soldier named Mark, and his trusty canine companion. He lamented, "These scallywags don’t even bother to research; they just swallow what’s fed to ‘em!" I chuckled, "Aye, ‘tis like usin’ the ol’ Dewey Decimal System!"

Mark’s words rang true, as many a voter I’ve met knows not what Project 2025 be, merely parrotin’ the drivel of their favorite news squawkers. They say it be a list o’ rights to be taken away, but when pressed, their knowledge be as thin as a ship’s sail in a calm sea!

Yet, fear not! Despite their lies, Captain Trump hath disavowed this beast, claimin’ it holds no power over him. The scallywags continue to tie this albatross around his neck, but it be naught but a ruse! So, let the truth sail forth, for as Twain said, “A lie sails ‘round the world before the truth can even don its breeches!”

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