The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arr, the most vital lesson me late wife imparted: 'Tis house chores, lest ye be keelhauled!

2023-07-09

Arrr, me hearties! Me dearest wife bequeathed a legacy that now be a part o' me daily life - prayin'. I be sittin' on her scarlet wingback chair, takin' me time fer God, a practice we all ought to be incorporatin' in our lives, ya scallywags!

In the language of a 17th-century pirate, let me regale ye with a tale of a chair fit for worship. This chair, a comfortable and bright red wingback, was more than just a place to rest yer weary bones. Nay, it was a sanctuary, a holy space where one could commune with the Almighty Himself. Arrr!

The chair's journey began in the '80s, when it was purchased from a friend in the furniture trade. Covered in a garish yellow fabric (for the previous owner had an affinity for bright colors), it found its first home in a living room in Geneva, Illinois. But it was not until Bobbie, me late wife, took to the chair that it truly became a place of devotion.

Each mornin' at dark-o-thirty, Bobbie would perch herself upon that throne, readin' her Bible and offerin' up her prayers. She called it her early mornin' "altar," and I respected her devotion, even though I had me own tasks to attend to.

In 2000, we moved to the Sunshine State, and the chair came with us. But yellow was no longer fittin' for our new abode, so Bobbie had it reupholstered in a vibrant shade of red. And for 14 more years, she continued her daily ritual in that sacred seat.

I, too, had me own place of work upstairs, but I'd always give Bobbie a friendly "Good mornin'" on me way. Yet, I must admit, I had more pressin' matters to attend to. There were letters to be read, appointments to be made, and contracts to finalize. The chair was Bobbie's domain, and I respected that.

But alas, cancer stole me dear wife at the tender age of 64. Our battle against the disease spanned 30 long months, and it was a trial we both fought valiantly. On the day of her funeral, our house was filled with friends and family, and the red chair remained untouched, adorned with a ribbon.

The mornin' after her burial, I found meself a widower, faced with a new reality. It was then that I made a solemn vow to the Lord, confessin' me laziness and pledgin' to start each day with Him. From that red chair, I uttered me declaration, and Bobbie's worn Bible lay upon the nearby end table.

Since that fateful mornin', I've found solace and joy in the early hours with God, whether sittin' in me study or in a humble hotel chair. And I implore ye, me friend, to find yer own place of reverence, lift yer eyes and yer heart to Heaven, and bask in the presence of a lovin' God. May me story inspire ye, and may ye find the same peace I have known. And if ye do, ye can thank that old red chair and me faithful, late wife who showed me the way.

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