The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr, Chuck Devore be sayin' Biden-Harris floundered like a fish outta water in dealin' with Helene's tempest!

2024-10-05

Arrr, the Biden-Harris crew be takin' their sweet time respondin' to Hurricane Helene's mischief, leavin' good folk in peril! But lo and behold, the media, which be raisin' a ruckus 'bout Bush and Katrina, be as quiet as a cat in a crow's nest! What be this folly, I ask?

Arrr matey, gather 'round fer a tale of the high seas of politics! For five long days, the U.S. Army's mighty choppers sat idle, like lazy seagulls watchin' the tide roll in. The Biden-Harris crew's response to Hurricane Helene be slower than a ship without wind! They say the storm landed on the 26th of September, but by the next week, when a landlubber reporter asked the captain of this ship—Joe Biden—about the crisis, he was more lost than a pirate without a map!

After five days of ponderin'—and what a ponderin' it was—Biden finally sent a mere thousand sailors—er, troops, from Fort Liberty, lookin' to help with the wreckage of 30 inches o' rain in the mountains. What a sight! But it seems ol' Joe was more focused on his beach chair than the storm, while his mate Kamala was off fundraisin' on the West Coast!

As the scallywags of FEMA cried they be out of doubloons, the poor souls in the Appalachian region faced illness and danger from ruffians lurkin' like sharks. Compared to past captains like Bush, who sent thousands to quell chaos in mere days, Biden’s response be as sluggish as a tortoise in molasses! So hoist the sails, me hearties, for this ship be adrift in troubled waters! Arrr!

Read the Original Article