Arrr! Matthew Perry's demise be linked to a scallywag's curse more rampant than barnacles on me ship!
2024-09-16
Arrr, it be nearly a year since the good matey Matthew Perry set sail to Davy Jones’ locker, an’ yet the courts be tangled in a right mess! A scallywag drug crisis be at the core, with justice finally weighin’ anchor for a proper prosecution. Avast, what a hullabaloo!
Ahoy mateys! Gather 'round as I spin ye a yarn of the late Matthew Perry, a jolly lad known fer his role in "Friends." Aye, it be nearly a year since he took his last voyage, and twas a sad affair indeed! In his tome, "Friends, Lovers, and the Big Terrible Thing," he spilled his woes o’ drink and powder, revealin’ tales of his battles with the bottle and more.At first, whispers claimed he met his fate in a hot tub, but reports revealed a high tide o’ ketamine in his blood, sending shockwaves through his crew of fans. But alas, the plot thickened as doctors found themselves in a tempest of trouble, charged with partaking in this tragic tale. One, Mark Chavez, even signed a deal with the Devil—err, prosecutors—to confess his sins of distributing the ill-fated potion.
And lo! The scandal didn’t end there, as more scallywags were caught in the net! There be the infamous "Ketamine Queen" and others, all rum-running a concoction of mischief. The whole affair be a right cautionary tale, showin’ that the seas be fraught with dangers, especially when pirates be seekin’ fortune at the expense of life! Let this be a lesson, ye landlubbers, in the treacherous waters of addiction and greed!