"Arrr, matey! David Marcus be spillin' five tales 'bout Kamala dodgin' the Al Smith feast—Catholics and tradition be walkin' the plank!"
2024-09-25
Arrr, matey! Columnist David Marcus be spoutin' his yarns 'bout why the fair Kamala Harris shan't set sail to the grand Al Smith Dinner. Perhaps she fears the fishy grub or the raucous crew will make her keel over in laughter! Aye, 'tis a tale worth a hearty chuckle!
Ahoy me hearties! It be news from the high seas of politics; Vice President Kamala Harris, that crafty lass, be shunning the grand Al Smith Dinner in the bustling port of New York City! Aye, she be the first to do so since the days of Walter Mondale in 1984, making waves in this cherished tradition that began with the likes of Kennedy and Nixon donnin’ their best frocks and finery!Cardinal Dolan, a fine fellow of that Holy See, be mighty disappointed, remindin’ Harris that Mondale’s refusal left him sinkin’ faster than a ship with a hole in its hull. Harris be missing out on a jolly ol’ time where rivals jest and jesters mingle, showin' the world that even in turbulent waters, unity be the name of the game!
Yet, me thinks she has her reasons—mayhaps she fears the jests and jibes of the night will shine light on her strange campaign tactics! Instead of a hearty feast, she be cloistered away like a timid cabin boy, avoidin’ the spotlight of unscripted banter. With Trump in the fray, she’s takin’ to the shadows, not wantin’ her true colors to be laid bare.
So, as tradition sails away like a ghost ship in the night, Harris’ absence be a statement in itself—a lament for the lost art of laughter and unity on this stormy sea of politics. Arrr!