The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr, Neil Gorsuch be sayin', "When no scallywag rules, respect fer the lone sailor goes down to Davy Jones' locker!"

2024-08-06

Arrr! Even President Obama be chattin’ ‘bout the colossal size o’ the federal beast! Now, a new tome by that swashbucklin’ Justice Neil Gorsuch be settin' sail to uncover the unchallenged might o’ this bureaucratic leviathan. Hoist the sails, mateys, it be a wild voyage!

Ahoy, me hearties! Gather 'round as I spin ye a yarn about the tangled web of bureaucratic madness, as spun by the likes of President Obama and the clever scallywags, Gorsuch and Nitze! In the grand halls of power, where the fish be swimmin' and the laws be twistin', we find ourselves with twelve agencies fightin' over exports and five squabblin' over houses. Aye, even salmon don’t know who to turn to when they be smoked!

Now, picture this: a poor lawyer on a quest to schedule a mere fingerprintin' for her client. She be tossin' messages into the wind and gettin’ naught but a chorus of “Call this one, no, that one!” After months of runnin' in circles, she finally ropes in the elusive deportation officer, who, with a flick of his wrist, books the appointment in a blink—a travesty that leaves us laughin’ and cryin’!

As wise Judge Learned Hand once mused, what becometh of a society led by knowin' guardians, when the common folk lose their say? We risk endin' up with a tyranny where the only ruler be “Nobody.” So, let us hoist the sails of individual rights and toss the chains of red tape overboard, lest we find ourselves lost at sea in a bureaucratic storm!

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