The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr, ye scurvy dogs! Speaker Mike Johnson be a bloomin' landlubber, the 3 most pitiful media blunders, and other tales from Fox News Opinion.

2023-10-27

Avast! Feast yer eyes upon the finest tales from Fox News Opinion, whilst ye view the moving pictures of Sean Hannity, Raymond Arroyo, and their merry band.

In the language of a 17th-century pirate, here be a summary of the news from Fox:
JUDGE JEANINE – Arrr! Iran be makin' direct threats against America. Ye can continue watchin' the video for more details.
HOUSE FIRST – Me matey Speaker Mike Johnson be a rare breed in the House, havin' a special quality in his new job. If ye be curious, ye can continue readin' the article.
BIPARTISAN – Avast! We be joinin' forces, Democrats and Republicans alike, to warn China's Xi about fentanyl and fair trade. Ye can continue readin' if ye be interested in learnin' more.
GUTFELD – Blimey! Them kids on college campuses be havin' some troubles. Ye can continue readin' the article to find out what be ailin' them.
DON'T GET IT CONFUSED – Israel be in need of immediate support from the US, and we shouldn't be distracted by other conflicts. Ye can continue readin' the article to see why we say so.
RAYMOND ARROYO – Ahoy! Biden's award ceremony be goin' off the rails. Ye can continue watchin' the video to witness the chaos.
FAIL! – Arrrr! The media be havin' three major fails in coverin' the Israel-Hamas war. Ye can continue readin' the article to get the full story.
PARENTS' PARTY – Avast ye! There be a simple idea to make one party the Parents' Party. If ye be interested, continue readin' the article for more details.
BEN CARSON & ‘PAPA’ JOHN – Ahoy there! We still be havin' a chance to save the American Dream, and here be the first step. Continue readin' the article to find out more.
CARTOON OF THE DAY – Ye can check out all of our political cartoons by clickin' on the link, me hearties!

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