The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

"When Biden-Harris left our brave souls in chains, they spat on the might of the blue passport, arrr!"

2024-10-13

Arrr, matey! Once, ye American seafarers waved a passport so fine it shone like treasure! But the Biden-Harris crew be sinkin' that ship and leavin' our mates in peril. Aye, where be the rescue for them held fast by scallywags? Blimey, what a jolly mess!

Ahoy, me hearties! 'Tis a tale of woe and misfortune, for I wear a wristband that be shoutin' "Bring them home!" — a reminder of the poor souls languishin' in the damp dungeons of Gaza. In the fair lands of America, alas, few be givin' a hoot about the plight of our captives, especially those seven brave souls, including four who still draw breath, held by the dastardly Hamas. The news be filled with naught but the clamorin' of protests and political squabbles, while our citizens’ fates be cast aside like yesterday's fish guts!

Our noble President Biden, bless his heart, promised that Hamas would "pay for these crimes," yet our glorious blue passports, once revered across the seven seas, doth seem but a tattered relic. Alas, after the tragic end of Hersh Goldberg-Polin, who met his grim fate at the hands of the brigands, one wonders what price we’ve extracted from these scallywags.

Instead of unleashin' the full might of our cannons upon them, the White House be dabblin' in "lawfare," as if writin' fancy letters be a match for a pirate's sword! And so, as the year draws to a close, we must not lose our fire nor our will to demand the return of our kin. For we be not helpless! Let us hoist the flag of justice high and stride forward, lest we let our spirits be swabbed clean by the tides of despair!

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