The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr, matey! Trump be sayin' elections be won by skill, not by the scallywags of the left! Har har!

2024-10-07

Arrr, me hearties! The crew on the 'Gutfeld!' ship be chortlin' like scallywags upon hearin' that ol' Captain Trump be back in Butler, Pa., after a right nasty attempt on his life! 'Tis a tale fit for the taverns, where danger be just a laugh away! Ha-ha!

Arrr mateys! This past Saturday, that scallywag Donald Trump sailed back to Butler, Pennsylvania, the very spot where a bumbling knave made an ill-fated attempt on his life! What a spectacle it be! Trump declared his love for Pennsylvania, likin’ it to a fine treasure map, whilst the crowd roared like a tempestuous sea!

But lo! In the midst of this chaotic jubilation, enter the mighty Elon Musk, bouncin' about like a jolly sea captain, electrifying the crew! Tens of thousands gathered, shiverin’ with excitement, ready to defend their beloved shores against the chaos the Democrats promised if Trump be triumphant.

Now, the legacy media be squawkin’ like a flock of crows, claimin’ doom and despair await should Trump stake his claim to the ship’s wheel again. They see chaos looming like a storm cloud on the horizon, but the crowd at Butler be resolute, shoutin’ back, “Not today!”

So, hoist the colors high, for this rally was more than a mere gathering; it was a declaration of defiance! Trump returned to that cursed ground, and with him, thousands stood bold against the threats of chaos. 'Twas a merry crew ready to sail forward, fightin’ for their vision of America. So let the Democrats keep throwin’ their threats; this ship be built for battle, not for fear!

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