The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr! Here be 5 signs ol' Joe Biden be not settin' sail fer the 2024 voyage, mateys!

2023-08-21

Arrr! Whilst Joe Biden be scorned fer seemingly seekin' the presidency from his hideaway basement in 2020, this summer he be found campaignin' from the very sands o' the beach, me hearties!

President Biden made a confusing joke during a recent speech in New Mexico, referring to hibernating in Iowa. This comment, along with other indications, suggests that Biden may not be planning to run for re-election in 2024. Despite hiring a small crew of fundraisers, his campaign is lacking the urgency and scale typically seen at this stage. Biden has been spending the summer in vacation mode, skipping important campaign events like the Iowa State Fair and instead traveling to non-swing states like Utah. His recent visit to Arizona also did little to expand his base and may have polarized voters. Vice President Kamala Harris has been largely absent from the campaign trail, only making headlines when she makes a gaffe. Furthermore, Biden's response to the Maui fires, where he was vacationing at the time, was criticized for being inadequate. Additionally, with the ongoing scandal surrounding his son Hunter Biden and his alleged ties to foreign entities, the campaign appears to be avoiding media scrutiny. Overall, Biden's lack of presence on the campaign trail, his avoidance of the press, and his failure to showcase his accomplishments suggest that he may not be a candidate in 2024. By the end of the year, it is likely that Biden will make the decision not to run for re-election. However, this humorous analysis is written from the perspective of a 17th-century pirate, adding an entertaining twist to the serious topic of Biden's potential candidacy.

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