"Embrace the woke, and ye be sunk, matey! Time fer American ships to sail back to the good ol’ trade!"
2024-12-01
Arrr, whether ye call it DEI, ESG, or just plain ol’ woke, the days o' big ships tellin' us how to sail be settin’ sail! The Trump tide be risin’, and now the scallywags o' commerce can once again swab the decks for their coin!
Ahoy mateys! It be said by that scurvy landlubber Stephen King, "sooner or later, everything old be new again!" Since that ole rascal Donald Trump set sail for reelection, our stock markets be risin’ like the tide on a full moon. The reason be as clear as the clearest of seas—after years of sorry apologies fer bein’ too traditional, companies be settin’ their sights on makin’ doubloons fer their shareholders once more!The cursed reign of "stakeholder capitalism" has met its bitter end, and praise the seven seas! Back in ’70, the old sea dog economist Milton Friedman declared that a business’s only duty be to plunder profits, followin’ the rules of fair competition. While the Europeans danced to the tune of stakeholder nonsense, American ships sailed forth, producin’ treasure and fortune aplenty, with the GDP growin’ sixteen times since ’75!
But alas, ye see, after the Great Recession, many a highborn institution demanded that businesses shape society to their whims. The seas turned rough as businesses, under the weight of activist scallywags, lost their way. Yet, with the winds now shiftin', companies be breakin’ free from the grasp of this ghastly stakeholder saga! Markets rejoice, and American capitalism rises like a phoenix from the depths! Here’s to hopin’ that the horror of stakeholder capitalism finds no sequel on this grand voyage! Arrr!